But you have bills to pay and you’ve got at least one mouth to feed.
They tell you “go to school n’ get a good job”
Well, the student debt is right now over a TRILLION dollars. Trillion. With a T.
People are going to school, gettin’ their “good education”, earning their degree and failing to find *any* job, yet alone one in their field of study, that can get them to hardly break even on the cost of said degree.
Case and point: a college degree is nothing more than the largest, most expensive, singly ply piece of toilet paper and you’re better off dropping out.
Sure, you could drop out and go for some “trade” like HVAC or plumbing or construction or something, but no, that requires work and actually getting off your lazy ass.
No, thank you.
I know some guys in HVAC and all of them work like 60 hour weeks, including weekends, and are always “on call” even on their days off.
I want to be in control of my own time, do things when I want, when i feel like, not feel obligated by someone else’s demands and schedule.
Also, there are some low effort jobs, like security, that are pretty laid back most of the time and the job consist of *mostly* sitting around doing nothing, but I don’t want to wear a uniform or a three piece suit. I want to sit in my cozy pjs on the couch or the bed, not a desk with a chair that spins but probably doesn’t recline.
If you’re like me, you want a job where you can
- Make your own hours (sleep as late as you want)
- Do it from the couch
- wear PJs while working
- Put in as little effort
- Have little or no start up cost
Anyway, let’s dive into it.
1. Content Creator (Vlogger, Streamer, Podcaster, Blogger)
Content creation is basically monetizing your online activity and building a following of people that enjoy or find value in what you do online.
When beginning content creation, people will say “oh, well find your passion”, like you need some intense infatuation and obsession with a field or hobby.
You just need to like the damned thing. You don’t need this magical path of destiny.
If you like video games, make content about video games. If you like cooking, make content about cooking.
Sure, you could find a more profitable niche than what you actually like, but you’ll quickly burn out [LINK] and get bored with it. It’s better to stick with something you like and go for the long, slow game, rather than the quick hardworking one.
And here’s the kicker: You’re already a content creator. You just need to start putting a price on it.
Do you make comments online, either on forums or social media?
Do you make posts on reddit or create your own juicy memes?
Do you post pictures on instagram or Snapchat or even Facebook?
What about Amazon reviews?
Well, guess what?
All of that is content that*you* created. You just haven’t been monetizing it yet.
Take content you already wrote and repurpose it for a blog or repurpose it for a video or podcast. Copy those words and paste them into a script, as I talked about on lvl 31 of the the ProcrastiN8 Podcast “Copy & Procrasti-naste”.
Bonus points if you’re female. As a matter of fact, you don’t even really have to do much on “quality” in your content, just look pretty. Look at Belle Delphine.
This chick was selling “gamer girl bathwater” for $35 a pop.
I ain’t knocking her. I mean hell, if a tiny jar of MY bath water were worth $35, I'd take 50 baths a day
She sold 500 jars at $35 a pop. Christ that's over $17k, minus the cost of jars and shipping.
Some people are working 9-5 for five days a week to earn LESS than that.
Can't say she's not a PRO-crastiN8r.
Marketing genius honestly.
She knows her target audience is dumb enough to pay for it. The way she smiles and says to the camera “Hey gamer boys” [who are lonely and/or virgin] -- she knows what she's doing and her target demographic.
That's some next level online money making. These guys were thirsty and not because they wanted a drink. They wanted to quench their thirst for something, for sure.
People are calling her a “scam artist”. Look, she said she was selling dirty bathwater and people bought it. She didn’t hide what she was doing.
I’m more flabbergasted by the idiots who bought this thing. I mean gamer girl bathwater, c’mon dude. She SOLD OUT too. Well, at least her website said she sold out but still.
I bet the chick who licked ice cream coulda re-sold it as "gamer girl" ice cream and be fine
Anyway, Belle Delphine also trolled her followers by promising to make a Pornhub account if she got 1m likes. Well she got over 2m likes and made her account. She then proceeded to make an slew of videos including...
“Playing with her pussy”, where she played with a stuffed cat
Or “making cream pie” where she *literally baked a cream pie in the kitchen with ingredients
Her fans were pissed, but maybe it’ll wake them up a little and stop drinking dirty bathwater from a girl they’ll never even meet.
Now if you’re not female and/or at least semi-attractive, or simply don’t want to exploit male horniness as sales tactic, you have to go the old school method of monetizing your content.
- Advertising: post Google ads or other ads from other networks or reach out to sponsors and ask
- Affiliate Sales: saying “hey check this thing out” and getting paid when someone buys through that link. Wildlink is pretty awesome for using affiliate links from tons of stores. (Check out the full review of Wildlink here)
- Selling an Information Product (create a webinar or video series, write and publish an e-book or audiobook
- Creating a Patreon page and getting monthly donations
You can also stream and get paid to basically sit there and hang out, doing it is what you would be doing anyway, like playing video games...or playing with yourself.
Speaking of which, next week on the ProcrastiN8r Podcast, we'll be having a guest -- a straight married man who makes money jacking off in front of gay dudes on Chaturbate.
2. Programmer(Game Designer/Software Developer)
This is literally sitting in front of the computer and typing lines of code.
Pajama Pants? Check
Laptop on couch? Check.
Programming is a language but instead of using the witty banter or informative dialogue as you would with content creation, you’re using problem solving and logical reasoning.
You can sell software.
Inspired by his own laziness, Robin Singh, founder of e-junkie, created an automated way of selling his software and it became the backbone of his business.
You can listen to the ProcrastiN8r Podcast on episode 12 for the full interview.
Basically find a solution to a problem. Make lives easier with technology.
There are a lot of start ups nowadays that are literally just selling software or digital services.
Back in the day in order to start and run a business, you needed to own real estate, hire employees ,the whole nine yards.
Now, you can literally start a whole business on the couch with just a laptop.
Look at Uber, the biggest taxi company in the world, but doesn’t own a single vehicle. Then there’s GrubHub, the largest delivery service for food, that doesn’t own a single restaurant.
Remember, entrepreneurship is just a fancy word for “professional laziness”.
With programming skills (which you can by the way, learn easily online), you can also make games
The mobile market makes it very easy to get published as a developer.
I don’t encourage this behavior at all, and as a matter of fact am adamantly against it as a gamer, but making addictive “hyper casual” games that appeal to the masses with a heavy focus on getting them to purchase more energy, more lives, better cards, whatever, are insanely profitable.
You can also throw in ads to enhance the profit even further.
Just don’t be too invasive with the ads, otherwise, people will uninstall your app.
There is definitely a market for “serious gamers” that would pay full price for a game to avoid any IAP crap oir ads, even if it’s not the mainstream audience.
Investing is actually pretty easy and you don’t need to be a certified accountant or expert stock broker to profit. Invest in stocks of companies you’re familiar with, companies you buy from.
If you’re familiar with a market, the research is done for you. You’re already familiar with the trends going on in a specific niche that you like and are a part of, so all you do is invest accordingly.
For example,if you are a gamer, like myself, you may be aware of upcoming titles from noteworthy developers. Well typically, you can “jump on the hype” of a release and make a profit.
Of course, as a disclaimer, there’s always a risk of losing money whenever you make any sort of investment with your money and there is absolutely no way to *guarantee* you can find investing to be profitable.
Even if you don’t want to day trade or constantly flip shares by buying low and selling high, you can pretty much stick to “blue chip” stocks, your safest bet, and profit in the long run.
These are companies like Johnson & Johnson, Coca-Cola, McDonald’s, ya know, companies that do they’re thing and aren’t really going away any time soon.
Just invest in quote on quote “boring” companies. It doesn’t have to be the most profitable, just the most stable. Have patience like a sloth and climb that tree to the top eventually.
Besides trying to find “THE NEXT BIG THING” is too much of a hassle. Just keep it simple, man.
Investing in crypto and HYIPs is also an easy thing, with the right strategy. I cover the basics in my podcast on I was Gonna Get a Job, Then i Got HYIP.
You can invest in crypto mining equipment as well as phones for "phone farming", having your phones run videos passively and earning money any.d your computers mine money.
While there are some legitimate “Life Coach Certifications” you can earn like the ACTP, legally, there is absolutely no formal education, certification, or background required to call yourself a life coach.
Some Psychology background may help, but is not actually necessary.
And besides, all a degree is is a piece of paper that says “I showed up for class and passed exams”. It doesn’t determine how much experience and knowledge you actually have.
What I’m saying is, anyone can be a life coach and offer life coaching services.
There are websites, like VIPKid, Nicetalk, and PALfish, where you can tutor kids from China who are learning English. Best of all, there’s no knowledge of the Chinese language necessary. You just have to talk with them and let them practice their English.
You can even create your own course on sites like Teachable, Udemy , or SkillShare.
If you like sharing your knowledge about a topic to your friends/family anyway, you might as well offer to teach it and get paid.
This is similar to content creation where you choose something you like but instead of publishing stuff for people to consume, you are focused on providing a service.
Pick a skill.
If you’re going to be playing guitar in your free time anyway, you can offer to record racks for money.
If you’re going to be building websites for fun, you can offer to do it for companies and get paid.
If you’re going to be drawing, you can offer graphic design services.
Just monetize your hobby. That’s all. That’s the lazy way to do it.
Fiverr and Upwork are some great places to start freelancing.
You can even offer “gaming services” like leveling up and grinding on Fortnite or World of Warcraft or Runescape or something. G2G and Gameflip are great sites for that sort of “freelancing”
Find a product within your niche that is sellable and doesn’t have much competition. You can make your product “Fulfilled by Amazon” so you only have to make the shipment once (to Amazon) and then only send more when they run out of your inventory.
This makes it easy so you’re not constantly running to the post office personally.
Limited edition “Collectible” items within your niche (the thing you like that keeps you procrastinating work and class) are insanely profitable. This is more of a buy and hold strategy though, since it may take a few months or even few years for the value of the collectible to really be worth a lot more than what you paid.
Remember, you have to cover the cost of shipping and materials.
Black Friday is also a great opportunity to grab deals and flip them for a lot higher price.
Look for sales throughout the entire year though, outside of just that last week of November though. Again it helps to actually like the damned thing, because you’ll be aware of the prices, what people want, and what makes something a “good deal”. It’ll be easy to find a good item to flip if you like the niche your flipping in.
Avoid niches you’re unfamiliar with because that's just asking to lose money.
You actually don’t even need to purchase your own products, either. You can sell t-shirt designs, which you either make yourself if drawing is you’re thing or sell other people’s designs though an affiliate system like the one TeePublic has. You can open your own store and add other artists designs to your shop.
You can combine this with Content Creator to promote said shop and products.
If you like listening to podcasts and watching videos and are a fast typer, there’s no better gig than this.
You just type what you hear and usually get paid per minute of audio you transcribe.
Of course, you’ll pick up the ability to type as you are listening and will rarely have to pause. It won’t feel like work at all. Typing becomes second hand nature, like reaching for your rum n’ coke or flaming hot Cheetos
Scribie and TranscibeMe are some good paying sites for this type of lazy cash.
One could argue that this type of work is “more tedious” than a day job. Yeah, but you’re your own boss. You call the shots. And again, pjs and couch is better than suit and cubicle.
You take surveys or enter data, like the items on a receipt
You probably already take surveys on Buzzfeed to find out what type of chair you are or some shit, might as well take surveys and actually get paid, oh and not to mention, contribute to science.
YEAH SCIENCE! YEAH MONEY!
mTurk, which is owned by Amazon, is a solid site for both surveys and data entry jobs, and since it’s Amazon, it’s not gonna be one of these cheap little start up companies that is gone ina few months; it’ll be here for a while.
I used to make a couple hundred from mTurk alone, but have gotten bored with it. I do take the occasional survey now just for some pocket change though. mTurk is limited to the US, Canada, and India
Prolific Academic is global, with a focus on surveys, but the queue (available survey tasks) is usually a lot lower
I tend to avoid sites like InstaGC or Swagbucks or any of these other various “GPT” (get paid to) sites as far as surveys are concerned
I always seem to get “disqualified” after 20 minutes or more of my time.
Swag n InstGC are worth it for the passive video apps, though.
Well, there you have it - the top ways to make money from the couch. No need to get a "real job" when you can make an income living in your cozy, lazy, humble abode.
Enjoy your frequent naps and pajama parties, while other people complain about going to work.
Take it easy,