Think about the last time you got all “worked up” because of something your boss, spouse, relative, or friend said to you. You might have acted on impulse. After ranting and raving in anger, disgust, sadness, bitterness or whatever emotion you were feeling that moment, you probably felt a bit tired and worn out.
A little toddler will go on a temper tantrum, shouting and letting out tears, but eventually he’ll crash and want to take his “nap time”. It’s time to grow up and be a lazy adult.
Instead of exerting all that emotional energy into a childish tantrum, save it for later. Save it to slowly move forward on a goal.
Now that’s not to say a procrastinator is completely emotionless, nor does it mean he ignores his emotions. He does feel emotion, he does recognize it, but he also controls how he reacts to it because he’s too lazy to let it out.
The Lazy Mindset in handling emotions is something along the thought process of:
“Meh, I’m a bit mad right now, but I don’t really feel like yelling til my throat is dry and my face turns hot red. I’d rather just calmly but firmly explain how I feel. That’d be easier and I won’t run out of breath.
Likewise, you want others to just chill and not get all worked up. You create an aura of calmness and a drama-free zone. You don’t let others try and release their toddler tantrum to you or around you. You shut it down if and when they do.
It can be something simple like: “Hey not cool. Quit it. No drama”
Of course,it’s called getting worked up because it literally takes work to wrap yourself up in a negative emotion so much that you physically react to it. And trust me, it wears you out.
But people will tell you “that’s how I feel. It’s okay to yell or cry sometimes. Some other person made me feel that way.”
That’s a high alert and nerves on edge, immature way of thinking and reacting to your emotions.You want one of laziness, of calmness and relaxed nerves.
It’s like potty training. When you’re a kid you don’t quite know how to hold your bladder properly, so what you do? You piss your pants. It’s okay. You’re a freaking kid and don’t know any better yet. But you learn, you grow. You become potty trained.
Then, as an adult, and bladder mastery under your belt, sure, you can piss yourself, but you look stupid. As an adult you have the control to hold back your instinct to pee yourself. You have control over your natural body reaction to want to pee right then and there.
I can hear all the trolls now: Oh, but Nate, I thought you were all about being lazy. Wouldn’t it be lazy to just pee yourself. HEUH HEUH HEUH HEUH HEUH!
The fuck? Now you’v e got a mess to clean up, so no.
Plus, the procrastinator is always in control of what he does and what he says.
(By the way, for you gender neutral or female readers here, I use the term “he” as a generic word, mmm k? I’m too lazy to write out 93 pronouns every time I say one. Let’s just sick to one for the purposes of this article and any other blog I ever write. He’s not gender specific in the purposes of my writing here.)
It’s time to potty train your emotions. Hold back your natural body reaction to want to yell, hit, scream, cry, whatever when you’re upset. It may seem “hard” but that’s just because you’re not used to it. You’re not trained.
Just like potty training, if you do piss your pants, it’s harder to deal with the mess, the changing of clothes, and the embarrassment, compared to just knowing when to get up to use the restroom. Similarly, it’s harder to deal with the fighting, the drama, and stronger emotional pain than it is to know when to just get up and leave.
The more in control you are of your emotions, the less effort it takes to control them. Going back to the potty training example, when you first learn how to “hold it in”, it feels so uncomfortable and maybe even painful, that you may burst any time, but eventually, you barely notice it unless it’s an “emergency”.
You reach a point where you’re so relaxed and laid back that drama just seems silly in the same vein peeing yourself in public does. It honestly seems when people, full grown ass adults, do get upset or worry frantically, it’s as if these people are some sort of cartoon or caricature of a real person. They are so far gone from your tranquil lazy reality that their reaction just seems nonsensical and utterly ridiculous.
The key to avoiding drama in your life is calling it out for what it is: a loony, illogical, childish reaction to things that wastes way too much energy. You speak in a calm yet firm tone. Don’t shout at them or fire back or make it sound like an insult. Just nonchalantly call them out on their stupid behavior. Don’t be sarcastic or condescending. Don’t beat around the bush. Just be straightforward. Be sure to also recognize their feelings and that they are valid, but make it clear the way they are reacting to those feelings is not and you will not stoop down to their level of lack of emotional control. You are a calm, relaxed procrastinator.
“I understand you’re feeling upset, and rightfully so, but the way you’re acting is unacceptable. I’d like to discuss the issue, but I’m going to give you time to get your emotion out and think about things first. When you’re ready to have a rational adult conversation about it , you know how to reach me. There’s no sense in both of us getting worked up.” Then walk away. That’s it. You’re not trying to get a reaction out of them. You just want them to take it easy and chill. Don’t ever tell them directly to “calm down” though because that never works and will amplify their negative emotion tenfold. Give them steps like “first work through your emotions” then “think about your situation from a logical standpoint” and not just flat out “relax”.
You want to use a tone of indifference, like you don’t really care one way or another. You’re completely not attached to the situation emotionally in any fashion. “Meh” is what you think about it. “Meh” is how you feel.
No drama or strife = happy life.
You may not be in control of everything life throws at you. You may not even be in control of how you feel about the ups and downs of life, but you are absolutely in full control of how you react to it.
Until next time,
Take it easy. Take it reeeaaaal easy.
See ya Friday (Aug 10th) on National Lazy Day and the launch of the podcast!