It’s always easier to tell the truth.
Sometimes you lie in order to protect yourself and your own feelings (as we talked about last week). Sometimes you lie to protect others.
But either way, it’s not the Lazy Way to fabricate stories and remember every detail about them (aka lying). You should only lie on the bed or couch.
Now if you’re the type of guy or gal that just can’t stand hurting other people’s feelings.
Chillax and cut the worry.
If your goal is not to hurt anybody then the truth is better to tell. Once the lie is discovered, and it will more likely than not, unless you’re a good liar, the deception will cause much more pain than the initial painful truth would have.
I mean cheating is a good example of exactly this.. Instead of being up front with someone and saying “I’’m not happy in this relationship anymore”, they find someone else and LIE about being completely checked out of the relationship
It doesn’t have to be as intense as hiding a whole other relationship from a person you are still in a relationship with though.
Heck, holding back your honest opinion to a friend can be detrimental to that friendship. Maybe you tell your friend their recipe tastes amazing when actually it sucks. Next thing you know, they’re cooking it at every gathering and party you ever invite them to. Whoops!
“Great, here comes Carol again with her shitty casserole. Why didn’t anyone tell her it tastes like shit when we all know it!?
Then she overhears someone complaining about it and it breaks her heart. She thought all this time she was making something good and instead everyone hates it.
Man, don’t make people’s life a lie. Don’t let people live in a cloud of imagination. Don’t build them a little box and keep them in it. I mean what the fuck, Mr. construction worker. Be lazy. Just tell the truth.
Which leads us to the next point...
Two things: This commands respect and it makes you charming as hell.
Not to mention it’s also a lazy way to grab the attention of the room towards you and doesn’t require putting on a whole show, song, and dance,
Just a nice simple one sentence thought is all you need.
Like if you’re waiting in line at the store and the line’s really long, you can be like “Well, glad I chose the fucking express lane”. Everyone else in the store is probably thinking the long line they're standing in is miserable and you’ll usually get a laugh.
If you say what everyone else is thinking, you’ll usually get some sort of positive response, either applause or (supportive) laughter. Although sometimes you may even just look like the asshole, but hey', it's the truth you're telling and someone has to say it (like how Howard Stern tears apart a 7 year old on AGT. He wasn't really that talented, but no one wanted hurth the poor kid's feelings.)
Turn off your filter.
It shows you don’t give a fuck, which is respectable, in my opinion, and you are good at“Reading the room”
Look at the expression people are giving. Learn to spot a fake smile. Do they have their cheeks raised when they smile or just their mouths when someone tells a joke?
Let go of the anxiety of feeling embarrassed or ashamed. Say it, man. Relax. No biggie.
Just remember -- delivery is important. It's not what you say but how you say it. Be firm and confident, not shakey and awkward.
If you’re too nervous, you’re not being lazy enough.
Be honest, bluntly so.
Look, no need to blow sunshine up people’s asses. Hit ‘em with the truth. Tell ‘em how you really feel. Be honest.
Don’t bite your tongue on your opinion or hold back your opinion under the fear of “not fitting in” or “being rude”.
That sort of fear is taught. I mean take a look at kids. They just say what they think. They’re not trying to be rude or assholes. They’re just being HONEST. They have no concept of the higher so called “rules” of social situations.
Let go of your socially developed fear and break the social rules.
People who get rid of their filter are respected.
I don’t mean not necessarily liked or moral. Just take a look at our president Trump (though I wouldn’t describe him as being “honest”, he does turn off his filter and that was enough for him to earn one of the most powerful positions in the world)
So yeah this whole turning off the filter thing is really powerful stuff.
Simon Cowell is one of the most renowned and respected American Idol judges. While he’s known as the “mean guy”, he simply doesn’t sugar coat is opinion to make *others* feel good. He gives honest criticism and will share genuine appreciation for talent.
Likewise, Kevin O’Leary, aka Mr. Wonderful form Shark Tank is known for his honest (yet entirely harsh) critique of business plans.
Howard Stern on his radio show and even as an American Got Talent Judge is great at being bluntly honest as well as saying the thing everyone else is thinking in the room.
The key is to just not care about the supposed social restrictions or expectations and just say “fuck it” and let your thoughts roll out into words, without going through a filter.
Ask Honest Questions You Want to Know the Answer To
People hold back some of their questions their genuinely curious about either in fear of coming across as disrespectful or they simply don’t have the balls to ask.
You might see an amputee, for example, and a lot of people will think to themselves “I wonder how he ended up like that.”
Yet somehow worry that asking that would be a big insult. “Oh my god, you can’t ask him that* The poor thing. Just act like you don’t even notice so he feels normal”
Ironically in trying not to ostracize a person like that by looking away and pretending not to notice, you in fact ostracize him even more.
It’s simple: “How’d you lose your arm?” as if you’re asking someone about their t-shirt they’re wearing. No big deal.
Getting back to Howard Stern, he basically built his entire career off asking people about their sex life.
It’s the questions people want to know the answers to but are too afraid to ask that create the most captivating stories.
Ask it in a tone of genuine curiosity, like the child who just wants to find out answers. Be casual about it and not like proposing for marriage or some shit.
It’s not a big question. It’s not a big deal. It’s just something you’re curious about. Ask it.
There’s no such thing as a “white lie”
Just as a general rule of thumb anyway.
People say you can lie about certain things when it’s the “right” thing to do. But who’s to judge that?
Honestly, unless the truth would...
- cause harm children
- make an emergency situation get out of control
- cause a death
- or can cause *physical* harm to someone
...avoid going that road. Those in the above list are pretty universally agreed upon morals, but outside of that...
Once you start “excusing” lies with reasons, once you start justifying your lying behavior, you could get in the habit of well, becoming a pathological liar. The more justifications you make for lies, the more you’re going to lie.
And let’s not forget: lying is a lot of work!
The goal of the lazy lifestyle is to avoid as much of that as possible, not create more of it. The fuck? C’mon!
Best to avoid labeling something as a white lie in most cases.
Now I do have a personal example of a good white lie.
I was ten years old when 9/11 hit. The teachers had to share the bad news with grade school kids
I remember they told us “there was a plane crash”.
While the truth was...“The country’s under attack, we might all die.” That’s probably not the best thing to tell a group of school children.
Now that is a good example, as a personal anecdote, for a white lie.
Telling a “white lie” a tricky path to walk down though in general.
Honestly, I'd come up with a better conclusion here, but I'm tired of writing this blog and want to go take a nap.
Take it easy,
Next week, we’ll talk about, how contrary to this series about the truth so far, you should LIE all the time.
Yup learn how to lie effectively.
Not so much that you can use that skill yourself, but so you can spot a liar.
And I don’t know about you but I’m all for dealing with less bullshitters in my life.
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