However, hard work and ambition do not need to go hand in hand. You can reach your goals, with very little effort.
As a matter of fact, it is actually possible to be lazy and ambitious at the same time; and it’s called Couch Ambition, but that's something we already covered and we're gonna look at the opposite side of the spectrum today.
You can attain your goals the lazy way and the whole notion that you need to be a hard worker to do so is nothing but utter sloppy bullshit. Don’t fall for the “work hard” mantra.
See, ambition is simply focus and you can choose your method of getting there (to your goal). You can either rush things with a lot of effort or take your time and put the burden of effort on other people and automatic systems.
I don’t know about you, but I prefer the easy way of doing things (and not to mention the effective way). It’s not in my nature to work hard. I don’t wanna exert more effort than I have to or use more resources than absolutely necessary.
I’m a cheap, lazy bastard, and I imagine you’re here because you on some level identify with that sentiment too.
You have goals, you wanna reach them, but you don’t really want to put in the amount of “work” you feel is required to get there.
Well ,hard work is not required and that’s just propaganda to get you to be a lifetime corporate slave.Your freedom comes through laziness.
We’ve already covered how to make progress towards your goals the lazy way, using a bit of Couch Ambition, so I’m not gonna dive into the details of how that is done in this article. Rather today, we’re gonna take a deeper look at the opposite side spectrum:
Desk Ambition, the type of ambition for mindless laborers, and quite frankly, the type ambition you should totally avoid
....(and take a nap instead).
While, Desk Ambition may help you reach some type goals, you’ll ultimately burn out and be left feeling unsatisfied because not only will it take a toll on your stamina but they probably will be someone else's goals in the first place.
It's probably better referred to as the Desk Trap.
We prefer a relaxed and happy life with our own goals as procrastinators.
D.E.S.K. Ambition, like its counterpart, is actually an acronym, and not just the wooden furniture thing your chained to your 9 to 5, which stands for:
We’ll analyze each step of the module and explain why you should avoid it
The first part of the module is to disregard everything, except for your goal. Your goal is the *only* thing that matters and all else is just a waste of time. It doesn’t matter if your goal is impossible; you brush off facts as lies and continue to trudge through -- just because. Any logical or reasonable argument to take a different path or slow down is nonsense to you. You are basically in Berserk mode, with relentless aggressive spirit.
You don’t Calculate the odds of success or analyze the most tactful method to attain success. You just go for it, disregarding any stats or words of wisdom or historical evidence. You don’t make plans, you just execute.
There’s a scene in Avengers where Tony Stark (Iron Man) goes jump off a plane to engage Loki. Right as he’s about to jump ship, Steve Rogers (Captain America) stops him and says:
“We need a plan of attack”
To which Stark replies:
“I have a plan...Attack.”
The confidence is on point; it’s good to make a decision and stick with it. But the lack of foresight touches on dangerous levels of hubris.
He has no idea what he’s doing and has no intention of regarding the dangers present and developing the proper tactics of dealing with them. He just jumps ship, literally. While I mean he’s Iron Man and of course is gonna kick ass, the amount of Disregard here would be dumb for a non-super person (or maybe even for a Super hero, if laziness is your super power)
It’s better to strategize things before making moves, at least if you’re following Couch Ambition instead. You don’t play a game of Risk and just move your armies randomly, wishing things work out in your favor. No, you set up a plan to conquer your opponent and win..
Disregard, on the other hand, is the act of moving forward without regard to any form of strategy and just hoping for the best.
Furthermore, with Disregard, you neglect other aspects of your life and other feelings as well as other people. Hobbies are a waste of time and taking a break is certainly NOT an option. Your mental health must suffer, otherwise you are weak. Relationships and friendships are just opportunities to exploit or are the only thing you care about (if that is your “ambition” - to raise a family, for example or to be a good friend).
You ignore the signs and signals about how other aspects of your life are either important or unimportant your overall well-being. You uphold value to ideals instead of facts.
You don’t actually care about other people; you care about the benefit they offer you or the feeling of approval you get from doing what they want. You aim to please others more than yourself. This will surely enhance your ability to obtain your goal, whatever that is, but will make you unlikable and warrant you unable to establish a real connection.
It is important to keep in mind that there are many exploiters out there, friends and lovers, who follow this protocol of Disregarding every other aspect of a relationship except direct material benefit, and are NOT looking for any real connection - just goodies you can offer.
Thus, you must not necessarily “regard” everyone and be a people pleaser. Two extremes here. The target is a place of balance.
While ideally the goal is not to Disregard everyone (nor totally regard and care for them no matter what, for that matter) but to Calculate who is appropriate to keep in your life and invest in rapport with that person.
Going out of your way to help those who may not reciprocate is a waste of energy and similarly, going out of your way to avoid helping *anyone* (even those who will reciprocate) is just haphazardly naive.
You should Understand who a person is before investing any amount of effort into a relationship with them and not just Disregard them entirely
Any sort of pleasure or leisure or relaxation, under Disregard, is pushed aside and seen as a distraction. You live a life of work, and that is your reason for being here -- just one thing. one job, one career.
The truth is: you need fuel to nurture that one thing and you can’t just keep moving without proper nourishment.
Rather than eating a healthy dose of leisure and receiving your proper nourishment, you binge on it like junk food, wolf it down real quick, then get back to work. You don’t actually take the time to relax and thus stress and anxiety becomes your constant state of mind.
This will keep you awake and alert but will also make you race through life, instead of enjoy it.
In addition to not planning, not cultivating careful relationships, and not taking the time to enjoy yourself, in following the Desk Ambition Module with Disregard, you must ignore any criticism, even if it’s constructive and trying to help you or your business. You just ignore it no matter what.
Advice is not something you take too kindly to. Even if it actually would help you improve, adhering to advice is for the “lazy” people who don’t want to explore the world and figure it out for themselves...or maybe we’re just smart and don’t like to put effort into pointless endeavors.
You also don’t fess up to mistakes you make, yet alone learn from them, and they're a really big deal that you blame everything and everyone else for. To a procrastinator though, Mistakes are Meh, and s/he will own up to them and learn from them.
A procrastinator does ignore haters and pointless comments, but finds that legitimate helpful feedback shouldn’t be ignored. As a matter of fact, it’s far less effort to listen to it then ignore it.
Instead of exerting effort and brainpower to come up with new ideas and solutions, listen to what people tell you, if it could legitimately enhance your personally or your business, you’ve just saved yourself a lot of brainstorming.
Overall, when you Disregard, you don’t entertain or think about any setbacks, logical obstacles, or even sound advice that you may encounter and just “go for it” You take the “No Holds Barred” approach towards goals and don’t care about any legitimate dilemma. You bash through problems, rather than actually solve them.
The lazy way is to actually solve the problem (or get someone else to do it/offer a solution) so you never have to deal with it again.
You’ll keep running into the *same* problems if you Disregard them, but that’s okay, just disregard that too.
The second module of the Desk Trap is Endure.
You bear the brunt of all the stress in your life, repressing your feelings, and coping with negativity rather than addressing it.
You “push passed your limit” and Endure any signs of stress or fatigue. Taking a break is for losers. Expressing your emotions is weak.
No matter how tense or stressful your life becomes, no matter how irritating someone is to you, no matter how unfair or exasperating your work load is, you just suck it up and go with it. No complaints, no abandoning the project or person, just full, brute hardened force
You take the abuse and don’t say a word. You suffer on the inside but don’t let it show.
Whereas, Couch Ambition aims to create a lifestyle of relaxation that eliminates stress as much as possible, Desk Ambition aims to embrace a hardworking lifestyle and live through stress rather than try to actually get rid of it.
You tolerate poor working conditions, like unfathomable hours and little vacation time and perhaps even hectic and distressing office environment. If the environment is uncomfortable, that is *your* problem, of which you don’t actually attempt to fix but just Endure the pain of.
The rude behavior from your boss (or maybe even significant other at home) is something you just withstand, instead of taking a stand up for yourself. However, when you refuse to let things bother you, even if it really does, all you’re doing is establishing the fact that you have no self respect or dignity and value your job and career (or relationship) over your own personal welfare.
The more you tolerate people’s abusive words and behavior, they more abusive words and behavior they will give you.
As a procrastinator, you gotta be too lazy to deal with that, so you say how you feel and get them to stop. You have clear boundaries and make sure people know about them; you make sure no one pushes you where you don’t want to go.
It is of course important not to freak out and yell or scream or cry or god forbid, get violent, but to just “pretend” you don’t feel a certain way and avoid emotion entirely is just as toxic and unwarranted as an emotional outburst.
While Desk Ambition encourages you to be emotionless, and just endure pain without any sort of positive outlet, your emotional baggage is like your bladder. You have to let it out eventually.
Hopefully, you can let it out in the bathroom rather than in your pants though. You can’t just hold it -- that’s deadly
The Couch method is to Understand your emotions and express them in a positive way -- to have Emotional Control. Emotional Control is not to be confused with being emotionless; it’s the ability to be aware of your emotions without reacting to them and being able to express them in a mature, yet passionate way, without relying on emotional eruptions or frenzies.
With Desk Ambition, you put up with pain, rather than say “enough is enough”. You don’t set limits for yourself and keep going, even if it’s physically, mentally, and/or emotionally unhealthy for you to do so due to the fear of looking weak. On the flip side, with Couch Ambition, you realize that every hero has a weakness and can still be awesome, even if you’re slightly less than perfect.
You‘ve probably heard the phrase: “No Pain. No Gain” This is the mindset module in which that comes from. It’s the typical Meat Head “just lift bro” mantra that takes into account only results, GAINS and MUSCLE!
It fails to factor in any sort of emotion, intellect, or being human, for that matter.
So suck it up and deal with it. Deal with the fact that you’re a mindless meat bag, schelepping endless hours of grinding work and tolerating inhumane treatment from your boss. Be the perfect little slave you were meant to be.
They might even let you eat extra scraps if you Endure enough whips.
“If things get tough, then the tough get going.” Never look for an easy way out, even if it’s logically more viable and effective to do so. Tough it out -- don’t give up on things or people, even those that are clearly not helping you make any progress towards your goals.
When there’s drama, just accept it. Don’t try to put a stop to it. As a matter of fact, Engage it and Escalate it. Show that you’re the toughest in drama. Throw insults, yell, fight, win.
Endure it all: all the pain, all the drama and never do what you really want because that just means you’re weak.
You can begin to see why this type of ambition is unhealthy and misguided.
Put your own wellbeing on the line for the good of others. Sacrifice what you have, so that others can live the best life and you can live one of suffering. That supposedly gives some sort of meaning to your life, ya know, if you want to live one of servitude and obedience, but hey, if you’re going to live under the guidance of Desk ambition, then that’s what you’re aiming for.
Donate your time, money, and resources to raise children. People have kids because that’s part of the “storybook of life”. You’re expected to sacrifice your own career, health, and finances to raise a child. The truth is: it’s a choice and there is no obligation.
It is perhaps better to raise a child when you have plenty of resources to take care of yourself and aren’t struggling to feed extra mouths, but the Desk Ambition protocol would encourage you to just not eat so that your child can.
Make big sacrifices.
Another sacrifice you are seemingly obligated to meet:
Put on a smile and sacrifice your own mental health for the happiness of the customer or your significant other.
They say the customer is always right (which is bullshit) and you must sacrifice your own dignity to give even the rudest of customers the “right pass” -- just because.
That customer is going to be mad no matter what you Sacrifice for them. There are some people who are just intolerable and they are *rewarded* for their intolerable behavior because people like you (if your Desk ambitious) insist on making sacrifice for them just to try and make them smile (which you won’t do anyway, more than likely).
The rule of this module is to give more than you take, otherwise you’re just being greedy, they tell you. they’re trying to train you to bend to their will and be appreciative of the scraps they feed you after you keep bending ‘til you break.
The Couch ambitious procrastinator takes as much, if not more, than s/he gives. S/he never sacrifices and doesn’t care how greedy that may sound. And s/he certainly doesn’t bend, yet alone break.
When you sacrifice, you are at a loss. You have given more than you have taken in a sacrifice; the benefit you receive is not equal to the amount of resources (time, wealth, energy) you spent. There is, in fact, little or no benefit to a sacrifice. By the very definition, you are “giving up” what you have for someone else or some other cause. It’s not a trade or a negotiation or any sort of reciprocity.
A slave master does not want a mutually beneficial relationship, a slave master just wants their slave to Sacrifice. It’'s a one sided relationship
Procrastinators are free and seek mutually beneficial relationships, not ones of sacrifice. Give and take, not give and die.
A procrastinator *does* give but only after reaching a place of abundance, when s/he has an excess of resources s/he is able to share. The hardworker, on the other hand, gives and gives and gives, without ever reaching a place of abundance (or anywhere near it).
Sacrificing along the way to abundance is like cutting holes into a glass while trying to fill it to the top. It’s counterproductive and will make nothing but a mess all over the table. Certainly, your sacrifice will make *others* happy, but you’ll be left feeling taken advantage of and unfulfilled -- I suppose, the ultimate sacrifice.
Sign up for the draft, pay child support and alimony, pay for dates, stop entering high paying fields so other, less qualified individuals, have a chance to join -- there are expectations in society, especially for men, to sacrifice for “the greater good”. Likewise, there’s an expectation for women to cook, clean, and take care of children. This greater good only works in the favor of an elite few.
Work hard. Sacrifice hours. Consume. Sacrifice money. Then reproduce to create more slaves. This is the Desk Ambitious way.
We then have phrases in society like: “Happy wife, happy life,” Can you believe that? ...as if a man’s entire purpose of existence is to make Sacrifices for his “queen”, rather than have his own wants, desires, and needs fulfilled.
If you want to Sacrifice your physical, mental, & emotional wellbeing as well as the wealth you have accumulated in order to make somebody slightly less mad at you, then go right ahead.
But if you actually want freedom, then you’ll sacrifice someone else’s approval for your own dignity
Just do it. Get started without any preparation. Don’t ask questions. Don’t do research. Just dive into it.
NO. HOLDS. BARRED.
Meet those deadlines, and take them seriously. Don’t slack or procrastinate. If it’s unfinished, launch it anyway.
And don’t you dare try to be lazy and get other people to do it for you. Don’t Outsource . Be independent and do it yourself. Asking for help makes you weak and dependent on others. You must do it all yourself.
Be a good little slave and do as much work as you can yourself.
Do things the old fashioned way too because you know it works -- don’t try to innovate new methods of problem solving or design new systems.
Just stick to what works and never break away from the traditional. You’re not here to Create, you’re here to Copy.
You copy the formula or design that works and slap your name brand on it, just like Soulja Boy did with his own game system. He took a Chinese knock off emulator and put his name “Soulja” on it. He didn’t bother to research how the gaming industry actually works and that it is actually very, very illegal to sell a device pre-instlaled ROMs without proper permission from the publishers. He’s now facing a huge lawsuite by Nintendo.
Soulja Boy says he doesn’t care and is just gonna Endure it, instead of admit that he was wrong.
Kick off and launch your product or service without the surveys, feedback, and proper testing. Get it on the shelves as quickly as possible.
Every modern day AAA gaming company does this; you should too.
Quite frankly, a finished product is more important than hitting a deadline and this “Kickoff as soon as possible” mode of thinking is absolutely insane. Look what just happened with Fallout 76 (and many other games), rushed to the shelves in order to hit a deadline, but full of game breaking bugs and glitches.
They’re more worried about “getting it out there” than “getting it good.” This leads to a shitty product, but hey, it does make sales.
Just Kickoff with a helluva trailer and stuff it with promises you’ll never realistically fulfill. Disregard angry fan letters and just Kickoff some more DLC or an add-on that’ll improve what should have been fixed before launch day.
Get your hands dirty, instead of putting on gloves or using tools. Just dig into it, without inspecting the ground first and examining toxic chemicals in your digsite.
Go in raw! Precautions are for wussies! You have to take RISKS if you want to win.
Oh and make sure you make as many Sacrifices as you can in doing so. Do it in the most elaborate way, without regard to strategy or caution or care. Make mistakes, as many as possible, so you can pay for them later, rather than avoid them in the first place.
The procrastinator doesn’t follow this reckless behavior or mindset and doesn’t take unnecessary risks -- that doesn’t mean s/he is risk averse completely; it just means s/he is not a barbaric decision maker. The procrastinator is calm and Calculating and will wait to make sure things are “right" before trying to kick off anything, and s/he will Create better (and lazier) processes of solving problems rather than stick to the “true, tied, and tested.”
Ultimately, it’s up to you to choose which type of Ambition you’d like to follow. Either way, you can obtain goals.
...But you have to realize that one leads you to be sub-servant and the other leads you to freedom.
One is hard and the other quite easy.
One has you obtain goals for others and the other has you obtain goals for yourself.
I think it’s pretty obvious which one is Desk Ambition and which one is Couch Ambition.
You've been trained to be at the D.E.S.K. your whole life, but now that you recognize it for what it is, you can instead be on the C.O.U.C.H.
Look though, not everyone can be lazy, not everyone can follow COUCH ambition and be a PRO-crastinator.
In a strong, well-functioning society, there does need to be *some* Desk Ambitious people -- some hardworkers..
But that’s something we’ll have to dive into...later.