There are 3 separate relationships every healthy relationship must have.
No I'm not implying that you have a "side chick" or "male orbiter"
Nor am I implying you go out and cheat on your partner.
But there is a Lazy little life hack that will help keep your (current or future) relationship together and that is by following the Law of the Love Triangle, and it looks like this:
1. The relationship you have with yourself First and foremost is loving yourself. If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to? You must feel cozy in your own bed before you sleep in someone else’s.
2. The relationship your partner has with him/herself Your partner should be equally secure in him/herself as you are in yourself. If they don’t love themselves, then they can never really love you (or anyone else for that matter).
3. The relationship you both share. You don’t complete each other. You are complete as individuals. Therefore, you are able to come together as two separate fulfilled people and create a mutual goal called a “relationship”.
Nearly all of break ups are caused by one person failing to invest in one of those three relationships.
Stop caring for yourself? There goes her attraction and there she goes out the door to the club
Stop caring about the relationship? There goes her trust in you and there she goes off to find someone who can commit
She stops caring about herself? There grows the resentment between you both and either one of you will get sick of the other's shit.
(Swap whatever gender is applicable to your situation)
Instead of asking the question: What can I do to fix this or make this better? or How can I make her happy? and going through the brain torture of trying to figure that out.
You simply ask: Which of the 3 relationships do we need to invest in right now?
Make it easy on yourself and remember the Love Triangle, which by the way, you're at the top of that pyramid, like a damn lazy pharaoh sitting on his throne.
This takes out the "hard work" in relationships because no longer are you trying to "fix" the other person (or have them fix you for that matter).
You're instead simply living your life and choosing a companion to come along for the ride.
Within the Love Triangle, each person becomes responsible for their own emotions, their own thoughts, their own "fixing" and the only thing that you need to "work on" together is the actual relationship itself.
That saves a whole lot of time and effort in this whole relationship thing.
It becomes "Us versus the World" instead of "Me versus You". It turns a competition into a co-op mission, a war into a peace treaty.
Love yourself, your true ProcrastiN8r self. Get out of the self-doubting, approval-seeking, control-hungry Ego and be free in your True self.
Relax and Let Go. Embrace your Laziness. Embrace your Inner Sloth. Embrace who you really are.
Then, when you find someone who also embraced their own inner sloth (their true self), you'll be fighting to protect the relationship, rather than fighting to protect your own heart.
Your heart will already be out in the open and you can lay back, trusting that it doesn't need protecting. All you need to do is truly and deeply love yourself.
See yourself as not just good. Good enough.
Don't do what is right. Don't do what makes the other person happy. Do what is you, laziness and all.
Take it easy,
Read the full blog article based on this episode: http://www.procrastin8r.com/blog/lovetriangle
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