Embrace Your Inner Sloth: Be Slow (SSD)

As a procrastin8r, the sloth is our spirit animal. He’s Slow, Smooth, and Deliberate (or SSD for short).

He’s in no hurry to get things done. He’s just living his slothful little life, enjoying his steady climb up the tree, with no regards to meeting a certain rushed deadline. Man, he’ll get there when he gets there...eventually. And he ain’t takin’ any sort of shit telling him to move faster. Nah bro, he’s good. He likes to move nice n’ Slow.

He also simply doesn’t give a fuck about how fast other animals might be climbing trees, like monkeys swinging swiftly from branch to branch. Rainy days don’t bother him; he just keeps steadily climbing. Whatever. He’s Smooth and unfazed by any sort of criticism or setbacks.

Every branch he grabs, on purpose. Every leaf he eats, decisively chosen. He is deliberate in his actions. Nothing sporadic or jittery. He doesn’t *react* to things uncontrollably. He brushes it off, gently, and moves forward, with purpose.

Today, we’re gonna begin a deep dive into the SSD theory of embracing your inner-sloth. We’ll take a look at each of the modules in the coming next few articles, starting with Slow in this one.










Take your time. There’s no rush

We live in a society that pushes for instant gratification. Get it now, buy it now, do it now. 
Anything you could ever want to purchase is delivered straight to your door the same day with just  a matter of a few clicks. Relationships are built on swiping right.  Friendships on clicking “Like”. Everything is rushed for that immediate “high” you feel when seeing that little red bubble on your phone screen pop up.

But we aren’t really *living*. We’re just...existing. Going through the motions, not taking the time to actually appreciate the wonders life has to offer. Our entire self worth is often based on the amount of “likes” we have, rather than deep inner self love. Everything is superficial.

Social media is fake. No one is really being themselves, but rather presenting an ideal version of themselves to gain some sort of arbitrary approval that really offers nothing worthwhile other than a fleeting feeling of happiness. 

People aren’t happy. They’re on a constant chase for happiness. Rushing to achieve or obtain “the next big thing”. And what happens when they get there, when they get what they sought after? Well, they’re left with disappointment, resentment. They’re left feeling like it’s still “not enough”. They want the bigger house, the nicer car, the more exotic vacation. They want more.

But more is never enough. “More” is perpetual, a never-ending cycle. Want more, get more and long for more soon after. It’s the pattern of a dull life, one in which the consumer-driven media encourages us to live.

Life goes by fast. It’s a swift little heartbeat in the wind. If we don’t take the time to actually engulf ourselves in the present and appreciate what we have right here, right now, it’ll be over before you can see “I wish I would have…”

You could die tomorrow, but would you have really *lived*? It’s a question we must ask ourselves. Are we here for the journey or the destination?

Enjoy the journey. One. Step. At a time. Even if you don’t “make it” where you planned to be, at least you can say to yourself that you enjoyed the ride while trying to get there.

Find satisfaction with who you are and what you’re doing, in the present, rather than seeking to obtain it in some far off future. Slow it down, in Leisure and allow yourself to fully actually *enjoy* the thing you are doing.

Don’t do it to seek approval or likes. “Just do it” to do it. Do it for pure enjoyment. Nothing more, nothing less.

When you accomplish something, be proud of yourself. Take time to celebrate. Don’t feel obligated to rush and achieve the “next big thing” all at once. There is no hurry, so don’t worry.

Live a life free of deadlines and due dates. Those are unnecessary stresses. It’ll get done when it gets done.

Ironically, you’ll probably achieve much more by a certain “due date” if you don’t think of the due date at all. You’ll feel less pressured ,less panicked, and can better relax and focus on the task at hand.

Honestly, the harder you try to rush, the faster you’re gonna run out of steam, and the harder you’re gonna crash.

It’s not laziness. It’s energy efficiency. Take it slow dude.












Do things on your terms. Whenever you want.

We’re given a timeline, some sort of “life roadmap” we’re expected to follow. By this age, you should be married. By that age, you should have kids.  Bullshit. Do things when you want, if you even want to. Don’t feel compelled to live out a life that was pre-written for you. Write your own story, damnit.

There’s no sort of guideline or protocol you “have to” follow. You live a life of desire and not obligation. You *slowly* approach things, moving in your own direction, and don’t immediately jump in a direction you’re told to go just because you’re told to go there.

The same goes for everyday scenarios too. If you’re asked to hang out, you do so if you want to (even get out of bed to begin  with), on a day that you choose is convenient to you, at a place you personally like. You don’t just “go along” with something to make someone else happy, when in turn it makes you rather miserable.

Don’t make haste to agree just to people please. Slowly and steadily utter the word “No” and mean it. You don’t let people walk all over you or take advantage of your generosity and kindness.
If people call you an asshole ‘cause you don’t do what *they* want, so what? That’s on them, not on you. Be a lazy asshole. Just never go full asshole. Make it clear where your boundaries are and don’t blitz to break them.

Slow down, man. It’s easy to let go of your principles if you’re such in a rush to make other people happy.

If your friend invites you to watch a musical, but musicals just aren’t your thing, it’s okay to say “No”. Sure, they might be upset for a little while, but any strong friendship allows each person to make individual decisions.

If someone is demanding of your time and demanding of your submission, that’s not a relationship at all. That’s just...toxic as hell, to say the least.

You don’t have to scramble up and do things for anything or anybody. You take it nice n’ slow and get up only when you feel like it.  Heck, you’ll lie on the couch all day if that’s what you want to do.

You ain’t gotta be forceful or nasty about it. You’re just takin’ it easy and abiding by your own dude thing.










Procrastinate with purpose.

We’re always told not to procrastinate and “just do it” right away. What is this “it” we’re supposed to do anyway? That is the question and the answer is for you to decide.

See, there’s no avoiding procrastination. We’re always procrastinating *something*. You may be procrastianting chores to play video games or flip it, you may be procrastinating playing video games to do chores.  There’s always something you’re putting off in order to do something else. Unless you’re equipped with some sort of time-travel device, that’s the way it works.

The very act of choosing to *do* something, means you are, in turn, procrastinating another thing.



 Embrace your inner-sloth and choose what to procrastinate on.  Procrastination is really the heart of good time-management. It’s not so much about NOT procrastinating, it’s about knowing what to procrastinate on and when to procrastinate on it.

Put off shit that doesn’t matter in order to focus on what truly does. Slow down your tendency to move on to the next task immediately. Procrastinate and take time to rationally think about the best course of action before actually stepping forward.

Everything you choose to do (or not do for that matter) must be done on purpose. Think, slowly, before you act. Don’t make a quick impulsive decision.

(Of course that’s more touching base on being Deliberate, but all these principles are quite interconnected)











Slow n’ Steady wins the race

If you rush, work hard, nonstop, you’re gonna burn out. It’s inevitable. You could be the most diligent person in the world, but you still won’t have an unlimited supply of time and energy. Trying to always work your ass off will cause you to feel depleted.

You have to allocate your resources of time and energy effectively. That’s where laziness comes in. That's where going slow and embracing your inner-sloth comes in.

You want to move at a nice, slow, yet progressive pace. Always be making progress, always level up somehow, make improvements, get better. But don’t feel an urgency to do so. Relax on into it.

Don’t pressure yourself. I mean yeah “slow n’ steady wins the race”, but the thing is, it’s not even a race. I mean who are you racing against? Arbitrary societal standards? Cool your jets, man.

It’s not a competition. There is no winner. The only real form of victory is feeling satisfied in what you’re doing and if you don’t have that, well, you don’t have anything. The only person you’re really competing against is yourself and your own Ego holding you back.

Ego is gonna tell you to make a name for yourself. Ego is gonna try to convince you that you need to do MORE. Look man, just do *enough*. That’s all you need to do. Just enough.

Take all the time you need to do that to. It’ll all get done...eventually. Be in your sloth, not your Ego.

Slowly disperse your energy. Don’t let it all out in one go. You want to be able to play the whole game, not just the first quarter.

Being *steady* is just as important as being slow too. To be steady is to be level-headed. You can’t make reactive decisions. Ease your impulses to yell, cry, or scream. That doesn’t solve anything, nor does it make you “win”. All it does is make you look weak and stupid.

Practice the art of steadiness and remaining calm in whatever the situation is. Don’t get overly eager or excited about positive situations nor overly upset or downhearted about negative ones. Keep level headed. Steady. Calm.

Slowly Respond to whatever life throws at you. Don’t React impulsively.

(Again, we’re touching base on “Smooth” here, but like I said, the principles are all connected)











Troubles come and go

Take it slow and go with the flow.  Whatever happens, happens. Don’t attach yourself to a certain outcome.

Mistakes are meh and you can always learn from them.

No matter how terrible things get (as a result of your own mistake or otherwise) or at least how terrible they *seem* to get, you’ll float on.

If there’s a loss, in either a death of someone close or a breakup, or really anything “bad” that happens to us, we want to make the pain  go away. We want to move on quickly. 

And in doing so, we hurt even worse. We never let the wound fully heal. We pick at the scab and say “this shouldn’t be here” only to cause more bleeding.

Slow down. Feel your emotions. Really feel them. Take a moment to actually grieve. Feel the pain.

Know it will pass, but don’t try to force it to. Let yourself go through the emotions you’re feeling, without reacting to them of course. 










Slow is not just an adjective. It’s a way of life.

Everything you do must be slow. Everything you think, slow.

Slow down your pace. The way you walk. The way you speak.

Your body language is laid-back, not uptight. Your shoulders are relaxed. You hold eye contact and don’t nervously look away. You make your motions slow, not fidgety or shaky. You speak with calm authority, not hesitation or excitement.

Take the time to choose the words that come out of your mouth carefully before you just blurt something out. Trust in the silence and don’t nervously try fill it with rushed run-on sentences.

Give yourself time to notice things. Notice details. The little things, in everyday life. You’ll come to appreciate them. You’ll come to see beauty in things you overlooked when trying to rush on by. Relax. Breathe. Yawn. Take it all in.  Nice and slow.