We all want to hold the truth , to wield the power to convince anyone that what we’re saying is in fact the only way to see it. Being right gives us a sort of victorious feeling, like we are “holier than thou”, more knowledgeable, more moral, or overall just better than another person.
It’s natural to defend ourselves and our points of view when they are challenged, but sometimes ya gotta take the “L” and move on. Just relax and let it go. Let go of the need to be right. Let other people either be wrong or disagree with you.
You may think that if you’re right all the time (or at the very least insist on being so) that you’re awesome and people will respect, but quite the contrary, insisting on being right all the time does nothing but make you look like a complete dick.
No one likes the dude (or dudette) who makes a really big fuss whenever someone even slightly disagrees with him/her. Chill dude, ain’t everybody gonna see it the way you do. Plus, as much as you’d probably hate to admit it, sometimes you’re actually the one who is wrong.
What I’m getting at here is that being right ain’t as cool as being understanding.
Even if you’re right about how dumb that dress looks or about how a 9 to 5 job is bullshit or how pineapple does NOT belong on pizza, whatever it is you believe you’re right about, there’s really no sense in arguing.
I mean heck, you could be right. And further heck, the other person could be totally and utterly WRONG.
But just because you are right, and the other person’s wrong, doesn’t mean you have to go out of your way (and off the couch) to prove it. I mean proving you’re right, what does that win you anyway?
The satisfaction in knowing your right? Maybe some boost to the Ego? Being able to say “I’m right, you’re wrong nah nah nah nah boo boo.”
You don’t win a goddamn thing. Not anything worthwhile anyway.
Not to mention, you probably damage the relationship between you and the other person. You may hurt them in the process of “winning” the debate. And in this debate, there is no winner,
You’re at a bigger loss in proving you’re right than being right even has to offer anyway.
And it takes a lot of effort to argue. The frustration. The headaches. The yelling back n’ forth. The struggle to overpower your opponent in a debate Ughh.
All that just to be able to pat yourself on the back and say “Good job , me. I knew I was right all along.” Pathetic.
Lots of effort. No results. That’s not the lazy way. The lazy man doesn’t always need to be right nor does he try to be. Even if he is right, he doesn’t get off his ass to try and convince someone else he is.
Ultimately, the reason why we even want to be right in the first place comes down to our own inner desire to feel accepted. It’s really a fear of rejection. It’s all Ego-driven shit.
By attempting to force people to accept you and your opinions, you are in turn acting unaccepting. You are valuing pride over compassion.
Now I ain’t sayin’ you should just shut up and never defend yourself and your opinions. No. What I am saying though is that you don’t push your opinion on other people. You must learn to accept disagreement. You’re just a dude with an opinion and couldn’t care less whether or not people disagree with the way in which you see things.
Today, we’re gonna get into how to be just a dude with an opinion and not a egotistical bastard that always insists on having it “my way or the highway”. And without further to do, let’s dive...right into it!
We want to be right because our opinions to be validated - to have someone say “Ya know what, you’re right!”
But that’s not always gonna happen. That’s not always the case. People are gonna disagree with you and quite frankly call out your bs.
You can’t seek validation of your opinion or otherwise all the time. You have to validate yourself. You can tell yourself “Hey, I’m right and I know it”, without explicitly telling that to the other person.
It’s better to be willing to accept what the other person has to say, rather than forcibly make them accept what you have to say.
Now to clarify, accepting another person’s point of view doesn’t necessarily mean you agree with them, nor does it mean you’re admitting defeat for that matter.
Accepting simply means allowing them to hold a different opinion than you, without trying to force a change upon them. Thing is, they probably won’t change their mind anyway, and even if they do, it’s really not gonna make (either of) you happy to do so.
As frustrating as it may be to hear a person call you out on bullshit and all the flaws in your point of view, it’s even more frustrating to let that put a damper in your otherwise great relationship or friendship.
Relax and just accept that you don’t exactly see eye to eye on certain things.
We want to be right because we want to be understood. If someone else understands us (and our point of view) then we know we aren’t alone. All we want is to be heard. To have someone listen to our opinions and nod their head.
But man, ya gotta realize, you’re interacting with a whole other human being. They’re a real person with their own sets of beliefs and experiences.
Take (slow n’ steady) time to listen to what they have to say. Because just as much as you want to be heard and understood, so do they.
Ironically, in attempting to be less alone by seeking to be understood, we in fact make ourselves a lot more lonely. When one of you insists on being right,that is when one of you insists that they must be understood, all it does is separate you two. Not to mention, it’s a helluva lot more work to go through a debate than to just sit there and listen.
Building companionship is about being open to how the other person sees things. It’s about allowing each other to have a voice or say in the matter, even if at the end of the day you see it differently.
It’s easier and lazier to seek to understand than it is to try and get someone to hop on board withchy’all .
Two opposing opinions inevitably leads to an argument, so the best way to avoid said argument is not to see it as opposing views but as different views.
Try to understand where the person is coming from, no matter how different it is from your perspective. Seeing each other’s perspective - that’s what brings us together, not proving the other person wrong or trying to get them to “understand” why you see things the way you do. See things the way they see it.
I’m not saying agree with them or to just chalk it up as a “admit they’re right” sort of thing, but SEE why they see things the way they do. Take a look through their eyes.
Ya know, you can really save yourself a lot of future drama if you do that. The lazy man’s life is a drama free zone.
Misunderstanding, or otherwise refusing to listen because you’re too busy talking about being right and how that’s so, is the fundamental cause of drama, but that’s another topic.
What I’m saying is, in order to minimize effort and maximize results, in order to achieve true laziness in its purest form, you must aim to understand another person as much as you can.
Admitting you’re wrong doesn’t make you weak
Sometimes, your opinion is wrong, dead wrong. And ya know, you’d hate to admit it. You’d hate to say “Gee, I really got that wrong. Ya know what. Shit.”
It’s a real blow to the Ego to wind up confessing just how skewed your points of view were.
We hate saying “I was wrong” almost as much as we love saying “I was right.” Facts.
Mostly because we feel like an idiot when something we strongly believe turns out being the completely wrong way to see things.
To that I say: Embrace the idiot. Be stupid. We’re all learning and growing. We’re all an idiot in some fashion. There are things you don’t know. There are things I don’t know.
Being able to admit your wrong is part of leveling up. It’s part of maturity. Being able to look back and be like, yeah, that opinion I had was totally fucked up, is a mark of true confidence and inner-strength.
Admitting you’re wrong doesn’t make you weak. Actually insisting you’re right, even when you know too damn well you are wrong is the weak move. I mean that just reeks of insecurity. It communicates you don’t have the strength to be vulnerable.
Seriously, if you can’t fess on up on being wrong, you might as well wear a diaper, little toddler.
Yes, coming in clean with saying how you were wrong does make you vulnerable, but vulnerability is NOT to be confused with weakness. Vulnerability is the ability to come forward with your fuck ups and then withstanding any sort of negative reaction you may face in exposing your flaws, with poise and grace.
Hiding flaws (or failing to fess up when you’re wrong) is an evasive, insecure move. It’s subconsciously communicating “I don’t have the balls to be able to say I fucked up.”
On the other hand, coming forward with a “I was wrong” is strong as hell. It’s ballsy af.
It’s putting yourself out there, ready to be shot at. It’s running into the battlefield naked and unarmed….and not giving a flying fuck. And that’s pretty bad ass.
We all had some wrongful opinions here and there.
(Jeez, don’t even get me started on how many dumb ass warped opinions I had as a teenager.)
Just take it easy, and don’t be ashamed of whatever sort of messed up opinion you had and know the wiser now. Don’t double down on it to be right. You weren’t. Get over it.
Say it with with me now: I’m not always right.
You can’t change every opinion you disagree with.
Disagreement can be the bane of any relationship, but it doesn’t have to be.
You have to take the attitude of: “It’s a shame they don’t see it my way.” or as the Dude puts it “Yeah, well, that’s just like...your opinion, man.
Don’t get so caught up with trying to make people hold the same exact opinion as you do. While it may not be something you like, it doesn’t mean you have to fire up drama.
You wouldn’t want someone shoving their opinion down your throat. No one likes the Jehovah witness in their life. So don’t try to shove your own opinion down the throats of others.
Look, it’s the lazy way to not let some sort of disagreement fire you up. You gotta lean back and take the “whatever” approach. Like, whatever, man. That’s their opinion. Good for them.
Sure, maybe you could convince them to change their mind about something, but doing so doesn’t bring the two of you any closer.
In fact, it’ll only make them hesitate being true to you and expressing any sort of disagreement in opinion.
Hearing the truth from your friends and family, allowing them to feel comfortable expressing their mind, is the foundation for healthy and strong relationships. You don’t want them to feel like they have a choice to either agree with you or get into some sort of fight.
Look at it this way, when someone disagrees with you, they are being honest. They are being true to themselves.
By insisting that you’re the one who’s right all the time (and even if you are), you are telling them that they can’t really be themselves in front of you. You are telling them “be like me.”
And that’s no way to foster any sort of friendship. Humble yourself a bit and be willing to agree to disagree.
You can either be right or be happy.
At the end of the day, struggling to be right is nothing but a burden. It’s extra work to do. It’s extra effort to put into something not very rewarding.
Benign right doesn’t make you happy. If anything, it makes you less so. You’ll feel like shit for being such an inflexible asshole to the people in your life that you care about.
Besides, it’d be kind of boring if we all thought and acted the same. We’re not some sort of machine or clone. We’re all individuals. Part of what makes life so fascinating is having individuals with their own backgrounds and sets of beliefs, not some sort of collective brain.
You may shake your head and disagree with that statement right there, and that, in its very self, is awesome. See, we don’t have to all regurgitate the same ideas and points. We have the ability to think for ourselves. We’re conscious beings.
Rather than aiming to be right, aim to see that you’re not the center of the universe. Each person has their own “center”. Your friend or family member ain’t just a side character to YOUR story. They each have their own story.
Trying to be right is trying to make yourself the protagonist in a world where there is none. There is no clearly defined protagonist here. You’re not it. I’m not it. The world is full of different people, different stories.
You’re no hero. And being right doesn’t make you one either.
Let go of the need, that selfish desire, to prove that you’re right consistently. It’s an addiction.
You’ll find you’ll be much happier in listening and understanding those in your life than you ever will if you insist on “winning” a debate whenever there’s even a slight difference in opinion.
Be willing to accept the different views and opinions in the world. After all, that’s what builds peace and harmony.
Arguably, much of the conflict, if not all of it, in today’s modern world (and even throughout history) comes down to people’s inability to allow there to be a disagreement. It comes down to people insisting that the way they see the world is correct and true.
So much progress could be made towards world peace, if, on an individual level, we decide to let go of being right in our personal relationships.
But, you’re open to disagree with me on that.
Take it easy,