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You ever wish you could go back and change the past? Just turn back time, as impossible as it may seem.
Maybe you wish you would have handled yourself better in a dispute with your then significant other, now ex. Maybe you wish you invested in Bitcoin back in 2010. Maybe you wish you were a bit more social during high school. Or perhaps you wish you spent more time talking to your grandma before she passed. Whatever the case may be, there are definitely some decisions you made that you aren’t too proud of, to say the least. There are opportunities you skipped out on, chances missed. You made mistakes. You fucked up. And you wish you could go back and do it all again. Do it right. This time. But you can’t go back. You don’t fly a TARDIS, nor drive a DeLorean, nor own a Time Turner in your jewelry box. You’re pretty much stuck with whatever circumstances you find yourself in, in the present. There’s no going back. Your life ain’t a VHS tape that you can just rewind. And that feeling of longing for a change in events that already happened lingers on for weeks, months, and even years later after it all took place. You know better now. You wouldn’t make the same decisions that you did back then. You would do something else. Something different. Something better. It’s regret you feel. Regret that haunts you for a seemingly eternal timeline. And man, let me tell you, regret is real and something we all face. We all look back in the past of our own lives at some point and think to ourselves “coulda, shoulda, woulda.” “I coulda done this. I shoulda done that. Then that woulda made something different happen” -- is the general thought process behind regretting the past. We can become so easily fixated on what things *would* look like now *if only* you did things a little bit different in the past. If only, if only. It’s so easy to trap yourself in the void of “if onlys”. If only I said this. If only I did that. Yet, through all these couldas, shouldas, wouldas, and if onlys, what we fail to realize, what we remain oblivious to is that the things we do today will be tomorrow’s past. We can’t change the past that’s already gone, but we can change the past of the future, because today is tomorrow’s past and tomorrow is the future’s present. In other words, while you can’t go back and fix what previous events in your life, you can change what you’re doing *right now* in the present to directly have an impact on the future (and hopefully create a better tomorrow). We’re gonna take a look at how to relax and take it easy in life, enjoy the moment in the present, rather than swallow yourself up in regret in today’s blog. I promise you won’t regret reading it. And without further ado let’s dive...right into it! The Butterfly Effect Have you ever heard of the butterfly effect? It’s this theory that a tiny little butterfly could flap its wings at just the right moment and iit would cause a huge tropical storm and that tropical storm wipes out an entire village of people and that village was home to an important political figure and so on and so forth. It’s basically saying that small, seemingly inconsiderable actions can lead to large unforeseen consequences. It’s fascinating to think about how we live in such a vast and complex system that even the teeniest weeniest little changes can have gargantuan effects somewhere else. One small word. One mall action. One small butterfly. ...can change the entire course of the universe. Kinda crazy, dontchya think? Everything is so interconnected so tightly. It’s bizarre! I mean something so minuscule can be so impactful to the grand scheme of things. That can really send your head in a whirl if you really sit down and start to think about it. It means every little decision you make can literally change the world. Of course, this phenomenon, the Butterfly Effect, is often thought of in terms of the past. One little thing, as simple as stepping on a butterfly, could alter history as we know it. I suppose it’s human nature to think of the past. After all, it’s more concrete than the unwritten future. The past is in the books. It’s already written. We know what happened. Whereas the future is sort of vague; it’s uncertain. We’re not sure what’ll happen for sure. We go on to fantasize about how the past history could look different if it were to change, whether that's the history of the world or just your own personal history. We like to imagine how small choices in the past could lead us to living very different lives in the present. Truth is though, you know just as much about what *would have happened* in the past as you do about what *could* happen in the future. It’s completely up to your imagination to determine the results. What I’m getting at here is that if you can daydream about how little things in the past could change the present day, then you can see how the little things you do right now can change the future day. “The Butterfly Effects” of today create the reality of tomorrow. In short, the little things you do right now, in the present can have large effects later down the road. Choosing to eat a salad for lunch instead of a hamburger can be the “butterfly” of becoming physically healthier in the future. Choosing to invest your money, instead of spending it on a lottery ticket or something else equally as wasteful can be the “butterfly” of becoming rich in the future. You see, the small choices you make every day will have a LARGE impact one day. Eventually. While you’re busy pining after the long lost past, you’re giving up opportunities that you have RIGHT NOW (and will later regret not taking in the future). By giving into the painful woes of regret, you put yourself in an eternal cycle of moping around in regret, losing out on opportunities, then later regretting missing said opportunities in the future. Rinse n’ repeat. Be lazy. Don’t make big moves or grand gestures. Realize that the little things you do in your everyday life, the seemingly inconsequential decisions you make day in and day out, like what coffee to buy or whether to even start your day with a coffee in the first place, can make a BIG difference in the long run. Do a little bit. Do just enough. Do things….half-assed. A Half-Assed effort is the little butterfly that’ll make a HUGE change in your life. Mistakes are Meh If you find yourself wallowing in regret for a very long time, beating yourself up over how you “shoulda, coulda, woulda,” relax, man. It’s all good. What happened, happened. It’s done. It’s over. Move on. Slow n’ steady. You have to forgive yourself for your own fuck ups. Forgive yourself for letting an opportunity slide, for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, for forgetting that one important thing you promised to do. Yeah, it’s true you can’t change the past and go back and fix all the mistakes you ever made, but what you can do, is do better in the future. You can avoid the same mistakes from now on. Don’t look at mistakes like some sort of detriment to your life. Mistakes are a tool for learning. They’re an opportunity for you to grow. It’s funny how mistakes work. I mean you look back at it and tell yourself “I wouldn’t do that now.” Thing is, you wouldn’t have know how to do it *right* if you didn’t make that mistake in the first place. Kind of catch 22. You have to make a mistake to know you made a mistake. You have to fuck up to know you fucked up. Mistakes are pretty harsh life teachers. Certainly, you know better NOW, but back then you didn’t. And that’s okay. The easiest way to let go of regret is to tell yourself that you made the best decision you could at the time, given your knowledge you had and emotions you were feeling then. When you think in terms of “I did my best I could at the time”, then there really is no reason to regret *anything*. Accept all the wrongs you did. Acceptance is the key. That doesn’t mean you like it. That doesn’t mean you’re proud of it. It simply means, you don’t let it bother you. You’re okay with the fact that you didn’t make the *right* decision, but you did make the *best* decision you could at the time given everything you knew and everything you felt at the time it was done. Let Go and Go With the Flow Holding onto regret does nothing but stress you out. It causes more pain than the initial mistake or fuck up caused to begin with. Regret is picking at the scab and never letting it fully heal.It’s sticking your hand in the building pot of water after scalding your finger. It’s essentially just opening up a fresh wound of emotional pain. You gotta just go with it, man. Go with the flow. Relax on down the stream. Let go of your negative thoughts about the past and see it as a growth milestone, not as your defeat. You can’t change what happened, no matter how much you wish you could. The more you think about it, the more the pain will linger. The more you fill yourself with thoughts of “shoulda, coulda, woulda” and “what if”, the more you lose out on opportunities that are available in the present. Be present with yourself and the world around you. You know a lot more today than you did yesterday. Use that to your advantage. Remember, just like the Butterfly, one small ripple can cause a whole tsunami. Take small, slow, and steady steps towards being able to say “I’m proud I did that” as your future self, rather than “I regret I ever did that.” Life is about change. The things you did yesterday changed who you are today. And the things you do today will change who you are tomorrow. Every little thing that you do can completely change your world. So even though you’re lazy and don’t do very much, the *very little* that you do do will determine who you are and where you’re at in the future. Don’t regret how things turned out “so far” in your life. See it as an ongoing process. After all, there’s no rush to do anything, man, yet alone become the best version of yourself. Take it easy, N8
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Whenever you go out to achieve some sort of goal, you may be tempted to make it absolutely *known* to people about what you’re doing or planning on doing. You want anybody and everybody to know that you’re such a big achiever, a real go-getter.
After all, you wouldn’t want them to think you’re some sort of lazy bum, sittin’ around doing nothing. But you are. And that’s what you’re doing. Of course, you fall under peer pressure to make yourself look good, to project a false image that’s worthy of praise. You boast and embellish in hopes to win some sort of applause (and maybe a cookie?) Maybe you’ll go outside for less than five minutes to your local park and post a selfie with the status “Great day for a hike!” then go back inside lying around watching Netflix. Maybe you’ll post a picture of a salad and say “Feels good to eat healthy.” then eat a bunch of mozzerella sticks, Buffalo wings, and pizza after the salad. Maybe you’ll post a selfie in a suit you tried on at the mall with #feelingclassy only to go back home lounging in your PJs. Despite the display you show on the outside, it’s nothing but a foolhardy performance at best and shitty acting at worst. You see how easy it is to be so concerned with success that you’d rather *look* like success than actually *be* it? Truth is, you ain’t winning shit. You’re touting a victory that was never won. You’re pulling for glory while doing inglorious things. You’re celebrating an achievement that never happened...all in the goddamn wish to be seen as awesome and successful in the eyes of others. Man, I say embrace your laziness. You’re trying to impress people that frankly don’t give a fuck about you. So lean back, relax, and don’t give a fuck about them Besides, as we covered last week, success is largely overrated, in terms of attaining materialistic things, like fame or wealth. It’s better to have other people think you’re a lazy bum, when you’re really building success (in terms of happiness and freedom) from your couch, than it is to pretend you’re this really big deal when frankly you’re in over your head. In other words, it's best to *move silently.* It’s best not to say a goddamn word about what you’re doing or what you’re achieving. Make careful, thoughtful, and *slow* moves, then only speak when you get to say “checkmate”. That’s the way of a true procrastin8r. More sleeping. And less waking everybody else up to tell them about what you’re doing. It’s all about the core of laziness: minimizing effort and maximizing results. It takes way less effort to just keep moving forward than it does to create some sort of grand gesture or announcement every step along the way. And the results are bigger when you are happy because you’re proud of yourself for doing what you did, not proud of the fact that you feel admired by others. Anyway, we’re gonna take a look at how to move calmly and quietly towards your goals today in the blog and without further ado, let’s dive….right into it! Don’t celebrate before victory. People can celebrate way too early, man. I mean, it happens in sports all the time. No doubt you’ve probably come across some meme videos scattered across the Interwebs of a runner or cyclist waving their arms in victory of quote on quote “winning” the race, seconds prior to someone behind them passes them before crossing the finish line. Or maybe you’re familiar with Super Bowl XLIX, where the Seattle Seahawks were pretty much “guaranteed” a win, with less than 10 yards away from the winning touchdown against the New England Patriots, with one of the best running backs in the entire league, Marshawn Lynch (aka Beast Mode) practically within reach of the goal post. I mean the dude’s literally known for pummeling through opponents’ defense like a “beast”. Well the quarter back Russel Wilson made the executive decision NOT to pass the ball to Lynch but instead go for some sort of weird pass to another player that he MISSED. Meanwhile, Seahawk fans were shouting “Beast Mode”, practically celebrating their super bowl ring, before the last play was made. But outside of the sports world, you might hear from the dude who is” makin money moves” with his business, only to watch him end up bankrupt a few months later. Or the ex reality star who celebrates his winning of a Presidential election, only to see the poll results say otherwise *cough*cough* Trump (which to this day he and his supporters still deny). You don’t win until the game is over. You don’t finish the race until you cross the finish line. You don’t win an election until you actually get voted for. You don’t achieve a goal until you actually do it. You’ll wind up being disappointed, not only in the eyes of others, but in yourself if you try to glorify a victory that hasn’t been earned yet. Procrastinate your celebration. Put it off. Wait ‘til later. Take pride in the process of making your way toward the goal, and not just in the end result. Don’t act like you’ve made it, when you still have a long way to go. Enjoy each slow n’ steady step along the way. Don’t focus so much on what you can win in the end, but on what you can learn along the way. As the popular quote goes “Life is about the journey, not the destination.” I’ll add to that and say don’t make it out like you’ve reached the destination while you’re still along the journey. Have patience. You’ll get there...eventually. You’re not there *yet*. You will be, at some point. Just don’t pretend you’re already “there” when you’re really not anywhere close. Doing things early is NOT the way of a procrastin8r. Needless to say, premature celebration is very un-procrastin8r. Yay you did it! No need to announce it to the world. Seriously. There’s a such thing as being proud of yourself for the sake of being proud of yourself. There’s a such thing as making an achievement without letting others know about it. Let your accomplishments speak for themselves. You don’t need to shout about it. Don’t let anyone know you’re saving up for a Tesla, until you pull up driving it. Don’t let anyone know you’re getting in shape, until they see you in your beach bod. Don’t tell anyone that you’re building a business from the couch until you hand in your 2 week notice to quit your day job. Achievement is louder and grander than any sort of boasting you can do while attempting to earn said achievement. Take pride in what you actually get done, not on what you plan on doing. Certainly, look forward to accomplishing your goal, but don’t let that goal define who you are RIGHT NOW. Likewise, find satisfaction in the accomplishment itself, not just the applause that may or may not come with it. Be in the present. Know where you’re at in the moment. Be realistic. Be humble. Cheer for yourself and don’t rely on others to do that for you. It’s more amazing of a feat if you do something awesome like it really ain’t a big deal, than to prance around like your God’s gift to the world before actually doing anything noteworthy. The mere thought of being something doesn’t make you that something. It can, some day. But that takes slow n’ steady time. There’s a difference between seeing potential within yourself and believing you already reached that potential. There’s a difference between being a procrastin8r and saying “I’ll get there eventually” and being poser and saying “I’m already there.” And even when you DO achieve something big, see it as just another slow n’ steady step towards your ultimate goal of fulfillment and reaching that best version of yourself. Hard workers make it a point to tell their boss (as well as everybody else) just how good of a job they’re doing. You, a procrastin8r, on the other hand, don’t care about such recognition. You just take it easy and go with the flow, allowing yourself to achieve without exerting any extra effort to “prove thyself.” People work so hard to let others know how hard they’re working. Not you. You minimize effort and maximize results. You put no extra effort into self-promotion. After all, the most effective self-promotion is caring for yourself and not what others think. Embrace Your Inner-Sloth The sloth doesn’t roar or bark or neigh. He just does his things. Slowly. Quietly. He climbs that tree, to the top of his goal, without making a big deal about it. He ain’t making a fuss or trying to echo his voice throughout the jungle to let everybody know he is KING, baby! No. He just calmly makes his way to the top of that tree, making no sound, besides maybe cute little squeaks. Whatever sounds he makes though, it’s not his intention to gloat around. He’s just minding his own business. Mind your own business and do what you want, without any sort of attempt to holler or otherwise roar about it to the rest of the “jungle.” That is to say, climb to the top of your goals, like a sloth to a tree, ever so slowly and ever so silently. I’ll use a quote for a similar analogy that furthers the point I’m talking about here:““A seed grows with no sound, but a tree falls with huge noise. Destruction has noise, but creation is quiet. This is the power of silence. Grow silently.” Do it for the Accomplishment NOT the “Likes” In the age of Social Media, everybody wants to post about what they’re doing, or at least the embellished version of what they’re doing. Look….Social Media is fake as fuck. Fake. As. Fuck. It’s not real. It’s all idealism. You don’t know anyone on social media. All you know is this heroic fantasy version of themselves they created. So many people will start posting their gym selfies, only to find themselves sittin’ in a drive-thru at McDonald’s a few months later. So many people will post about their humanitarian deeds of making a donation to some sort of non-profit organization or good cause, only to tell the next homeless person they see on the street to “Shove off, buddy!” People go on Social Media to compare themselves to others. “How am I doing compared to everyone else?” is the thought that consciously or not creeps up in everyone’s mind as they open that app on their phone. And of course, they’re loaded with images of people doing elaborate things -- doing a hard work out, making a fancy meal from scratch, touring on an exotic vacation, what have you. They see all these AMAZING things that *other* people are doing and of course want to post something at least equally if not more AMAZING to “fit in the crowd”. Then if you’re not posting this amazing thing, but everyone else is, well you get anxious with that FOMO, that fear of missing out. And so the cycle begins. You see a post of something you might be missing out on, so you post something that other people might be missing out on, and those who see it post another thing that even more people might be missing out on and so on and so forth. What you end up with is a series of posts trying to “out FOMO” each other, in sum. What you have to realize though is that all you’re looking at is a glimpse, a mere and simple glimpse, of people’s lives. You’re not seeing the whole picture: the hardships, the woes, or even everyday boring mundane things that happen. You’re seeing a catered collage that’s designed to make you think “I wish I was doing that.” Look, life is a lot more enjoyable, I mean *a lot* more enjoyable when you eliminate the addictive need to try and make yourself a glimmering spotlight in the eyes of others. Once you do that, you can do things because you actually enjoy them, not because you want others to wish they could enjoy it. You can achieve things because you actually want to, not because you want likes or applause. Frankly, no one really cares about you all that much. To clarify, I mean the majority of your friends list don’t care about you and what you’re doing. Certainly you can have a close group of family and friends that quietly cheer you on, but the fact of the matter is, they probably already know about it. I mean, they’re your close people after all. You really don’t need to tell the rest of the world what you do and what you’ve been up to. No one gives a fuck. The only reason they might give a fuck is either they want to *compare* their own set of achievements to yours or because they want to try and tear you down, not because they're *actually* interested in what you're doing. I don’t say that to make you anxious and think you’re all alone and nobody likes you. I say that to encourage you to have the realization that what you’re doing doesn’t matter to others. And if it doesn’t matter to others, in the grand scheme of things, then your life can become a bed to relax on, rather than a stage to perform on. Have more than you show. And speak less than you know. That is the way of a procrastin8r. Now to wrap up this article, I’ll give you a quote from Joana Mejia, which reads as follows: “Move in silence and let your success make all the noise.” Take it easy, N8 Success is something we all want, or at least it’s very well advertised as something we *should* want. At any rate, it’s believed that earning success is an important thing to do in life.
But the question is what do you picture when you imagine yourself being successful? I mean, what exactly does success look like to you? Is it the fancy sports car sitting in your driveway of your huge mansion? Is it the sipping of a glass filled with fancy champagne on your own yacht? Is it seeing your face plastered all over billboards and magazines? Is it logging into your bank app and seeing millions of dollars in your account? You know, success is often associated with attaining a certain amount of assets or notoriety. It’s accumulating material wealth and making a name for yourself in the public eye. But at the end of the day, no matter how big your house is or what the number is next to the dollar sign in your bank account or how fast your car drives, or how many people know your name, what does it matter, what does *any* of it all matter, if you’re not even happy? See, society pressures us to see success as some sort of materialistic thing -- money, property, and even “likes” on social media. It’s seen as something you must “work hard” to achieve. “You want success? Well you better get to it and work your ass off to make it happen!” is the message we’re essentially told from our early years as a child all the way into adulthood. We’re brainwashed our entire lives to believe that success is rare and hard to obtain and is measured by material things that you must work for to earn. It’s convincing propaganda. No doubt. Heck, I even used to think I was “too lazy” to ever really be successful. I didn’t think I’d really amount to much. I spent years struggling with pushing myself to do more, get more, and be more because that’s all success is and ever could be...or so I believed. But eventually I realized something important. I realized that the idea of success is completely subjective. Despite what you’ve been lead to believe, there really is no objective measure of success. In fact, you can be as lazy as you want and still be wildly successful. It’s just a matter of filling your mind with the right thoughts, not filling your wallet with the right amount of dough. I’m going to guide you through my thought process that led me to the conclusion that success, at least the way it's portrayed in society, is severely overrated and how I decided to measure my success instead. And without further ado, let’s dive….right into it! WTF is Success? Let’s start by looking at the raw definition of success, which reads as follows: “The accomplishment of an aim or purpose”. That’s straight from the dictionary. Notice there’s nothing in there about dollars being made or fame being earned. All that’s necessary for success is some type of purpose. As long as you fulfill that purpose, then congratulations! You’re a success, baby! But what is this purpose? Well, the answer isn’t in the dictionary or really any sort of text book. And quite frankly, I’d hate to tell you, but ya ain’t gonna find that answer in this blog either. I mean, certainly, I can point you in the right direction, but that’s about it. See, the answer to what that purpose is, is inside YOU. That’s where the subjective nature of success comes into play. You decide that purpose. You choose what success looks like to you. You define what makes you “successful.” To put it bluntly, success is “the fuck” you give. In other words, what actually matters to you? What underlying principle determines your everyday decisions? What’s worth getting out of bed for, you lazy bastard? Maybe that purpose is to be honest. Well, as long as you always tell the goddamn truth, you’re absolutely a success. Doesn’t matter if you’re piss poor broke, as long as you uphold your purpose. You want to make the purpose that measures your success an “either or” type thing, like either you have it or you don’t. For example, either you tell the truth or you bullshit. Either you act kind or you act like a douche bag. Either you’re relaxed or you’re hectic. You get the gist. See, if your purpose is something that you can consistently collect more of, like money or fame, then that just puts you in a perpetual loop of wanting more, getting more, then wanting more again, never fully reaching success because there’s always “more” to get But if you make your purpose an “either or” type thing, then you no longer have a reason to covet anything more, cause it’s like you either have it or you don’t. You don’t accumulate honesty, you’re either honest or you’re not. In short, to answer the question “WTF is success”. Success is what you make it. You don’t make yourself out to be a success. You make success out to be you. In other words, you want to base your idea of success on who you are, what you think, and what you value Make Your Vision of Success Simple You gotta take it easy, man. People will tell you to chase after your dreams, to go no holds barred. But man, you can always see your dreams in your sleep. No but seriously, don’t pine after some sort of fantasy in your head to make you happy and feel like you’ve been successful in life. Find something simple to measure your success on. Contrary to popular belief, earning success doesn’t have to be anything hard or back-breaking. It doesn’t need to be big or elaborate either. It can be...just enough. Just enough to make you happy. Just enough to get you to be able to enjoy life. Heck, enjoying life can be “success” itself. If you try to achieve success by doing something way over your head, if you make it out to be this big complex thing, it doesn’t matter what you manage to do, no matter how much money you make or fame you get, you’ll just be straight up miserable. And by the way, the most complex thing you can make success be is something you have no control over. Dave Mustaine, the famous lead guitarist of the band Megadeth, saw himself as a failure. That’s right the dude who started one of the biggest metal bands of all time believes he failed at life. What? How? The dude got the fame, he got the money. He has it all. What happened is he was kicked out of a band. He made his measure of success to be better than that band -- to sell more albums, to sell more concert tickets. That band he got kicked out of was Metallica. Now, Megadeth is no doubt wildly successful in terms of selling millions of copies of their albums and selling out concert venues...but they’re no Metallica. Because Mustaine made his measure of success “be better than Metallica” and he wasn’t able to achieve that, he saw himself as a failure. Now, of course, making a big achievement like that is completely outside of his control. He can’t control the success of another band he isn’t a part of. Perhaps if he saw success as something simple, like making some bad ass metal music, then he wouldn’t be so harsh on himself. Success is basically what you *focus* on. It’s the fuck you give, as mentioned earlier. Stop giving a fuck about how you compare to others or what amount of wealth you manage to accumulate, and start giving those fucks to greater principles. Do things with a *meaningful* purpose in mind ,not something completely arbitrary or outside of your control for that matter. Don’t just do it to earn more dollars or seek approval. It’s a lazy yet effective way to be successful. Don’t Let Anyone Define Success for You Remember, success is *subjective*, meaning just because you look like a low life loser who sits on the couch all day to *others*, doesn’t mean you aren’t a success. Don’t let anyone else set the standard for how you should be living and what you should be accomplishing. Make your own sets of rules. Play your own game. Don’t change yourself and your values to match others’ expectations. Just be your own Dude and abide. Just because owning a house with a white picket fence is seen as success in the eyes of others, doesn’t mean you have to make such a thing *your* definition of success. You can live in a one bedroom apartment and still be successful. Again, it’s a matter of abiding by a purpose in life that you should let determine your success, not a certain status or monetary value. Be Happy When You’re Poor Make your goal to obtain happiness, not riches. I mean you can have all the riches in the world and still be an absolute miserable fuck. Aim to be happy. Aim to enjoy life. Money doesn’t magically bring enjoyment to life. All money brings is the desire to want even more money. You must find satisfaction *within* yourself and not seek it in something external or materialistic. See, success to me is a feeling; it’s a state of being, not a number on your paycheck or any sort of asset you could own. Success is a feeling of fulfillment. That’s a feeling you get when you are meeting a certain requirement or condition. And what is that requirement/condition? Well, that is your purpose. Meet your purpose and you will soon meet success. All the other “things” you get from meeting your purpose become arbitrary. In other words, it is indeed possible to become rich and famous by living out your purpose in life, but that sort of becomes a byproduct of doing things, as opposed to the entire point of doing things in the first place. Hard Work is NOT the Way to success People can work their ass off their whole lives, only to be left feeling completely unfulfilled, with a lingering pain of self-hate and regret in their final moments. Lean back and enjoy the moment. Be proud of what you’re doing and who you are. The way I see it, the more willing you are to uphold a certain purpose or principle, the less likely you are to ever do something (or avoid doing something for that matter) that you later regret on your deathbed. See, once you find your purpose in life, then life is easy. No longer are you struggling with what to do next and how to do it. No longer are you concerned about getting more of an amount of anything. Each decision you make becomes simple, it comes natural, like secondhand nature. When you ask yourself something like: Am I being truthful? Am I bringing about peace? Am I being just? Then you’ll know what to do next. You ain’t gotta work hard to make your move. You just move slow n’ steady, taking your time to do things that are important to you, doing things that further your purpose. You can be successful in everything you do, as long as you focus on that purpose. I’ll give you a personal example here. I used to be so concerned about the number of listeners on my podcast and how many people were reading my blog. And quite frankly, it began to take a toll on my motivation to even make content at all. But when I focused on the goal of “to bring *value* to my audience”, when I focused on a greater purpose than getting more sheer numbers, producing content became a hell of a lot easier. It became about what I have to offer the world, not about what the world has to offer me. You can apply the same principle to your own life and your own goals. Focus on a greater purpose, find what YOU have to offer, and success is really nothing to stress over or work hard for. It’s something that just comes natural. Embrace your laziness, fellow procrastin8r and find success *within* yourself, rather than in the outside world. Take it easy, N8 Hmm...A ticket for a chance to win millions upon millions of cold hard cash...seems like the ultimate lazy method to becoming rich. I mean all you do is purchase a little ticket, then sit on back and if you’re lucky enough, get a HUGE deposit straight into your bank account. Talk about minimizing effort and maximizing results, right? Doesn’t take much effort to buy a ticket and the results? Well being a millionaire is certainly putting it to the max!
Gambling your money in the lottery no doubt appears like an easy peasy lemon squeezy way to land yourself in riche. Heck, you can retire the day you win the lottery, never having to work another goddamn day in your life, never having to schlep 9 to 5 for a belligerent boss, never having to even get off your freaking couch. Just relax all day and do whatever the hell you want, whatever you’re in the mood for -- no obligations, no work loads, no assignments, no due dates. You choose what to do and when to do it. You make your own schedule and don’t have to get anything done within a certain time frame assigned to you. Instant retirement. Instant financial success. The dream come true. “If you’re lucky enough” though. See, luck is a huge factor in determining your success with the lottery. And let me tell you straight up: Luck is NOT on your side. I mean you thought finding a shiny Pokemon was rare. Well, you don’t need even a *fraction* of the amount of luck to find a shiny Pokemon as you do to win the lottery. Chances are, when you choose to buy a lottery ticket, you’ll just be wasting money. Point blank. You’ll be making yourself more poor in hopes of getting rich, in reality. See, despite how tempting it may be to look at the jackpot number and imagine yourself having hundreds of millions of dollars, the fact of the matter is, you might as well flush the money you’d spend on a lottery ticket down the toilet because you ain’t gonna win shit! I mean, hypothetically, yes, there’s a chance, a *slight* chance that the MEGA MILLIONS could be yours, but the total likelihood of even seeing a single cent, yet alone a whopping heap of cash as a return on investment are jack diddly squat. The only heap you’ll end up with is the old receipts of your tickets ,piling up in your junk papers upon that mess in your room, you lazy bastard. And look, I ain’t about to write up this whole article to tell you “You can’t win the lottery so work hard to earn your money instead.” No. That would entirely defeat the purpose behind the philosophy of this blog and everything we stand for here. We’re all about being lazy and getting away with it here. What I am saying though is that if you do indeed want to be lazy and minimize effort and maximize results with your money, there’s a way to do that. It just so happens NOT to be in purchasing lottery tickets. There are ways to get your money to earn you *even more* money. It’s just not in banking your luck to win the multi-million jackpot. Now I’ll be frank and tell you straight up that the money you earn *passively* ain’t gonna make you rich quick. But it can make you rich...slowly. Embrace your inner sloth and get rich slowly. Be patient with your finances. It pays off. Literally. Anyway, before we get into some of the suggested methods of how to make money with your money, let’s first look at why its most certainly NOT buying lottery tickets. And without further ado, let’s dive...right into it! The Odds Are Slim You have such a low chance of winning the lottery that spending your money on a ticket just ain’t worth it. I mean, we’re talking about a fraction of a fraction of a fraction chance of winning. Microscopic numbers here. Teeny tiny numerals. Let’s do a bit of the math. Statistically speaking, in a typical pick 6 number lottery, your odds of winning are roughly 1 in 14 million. One in 14 million. Let that sink in. Like holy shit. Have you ever achieved *anything* with that type of odds? No, no, you haven’t. You probably won’t ever. As matter of fact, I’m confident enough to say you *won’t* ever. Period. It’s just that slim of a chance. And sure, the Avengers managed to save the universe from Thanos whipping out half the population with such odds, but face it, we’re not living in the Marvel cinematic universe. We’re living in reality. To put this all in perspective, you statistically have a higher chance of Dating a super model (1 in 88,000), winning an Oscar 91 in 11,500), or even getting struck by freaking lightning (1 in 10million) than you do of picking the right numbers for the jackpot. Heck, you probably have a better chance of finding a hundred dollar bill on the chance every single day for the rest of your life than actually winning the lottery. Of course, I don’t have to exact numbers of something like this to be fair, but you get the point. Your probability of winning is so microscopically low that it’s pretty much impossible at worst or laughable at best. The numbers speak for themselves. You can hope, wish, and pray as hard and as much as you want. You can perform your weird little rituals like wearing your old Nirvana t-shirt inside out while doing the floss dance. But fact of the matter is, the odds are ridden against you. And winning has nothing to do with your knowledge, expertise, or skill. It’s fully and completely based on luck. No strategy Just a roll of a die. (one of the reason I hate playing the game Monopoly, but I digress) A 14 million sided die at that! One in 14 million. Seriously. I mean, you might as well, write off the money you spend on a lottery ticket as “lost money” at that point. You ain’t getting it back and you certainly ain’t winning. Hate to break your dreams, Mr. Lucky, but you ain’t *that* lucky. I mean you can hang as many rabbit foots in your room as you want. You can carry as many 4 leaf clovers in your pocket as you want (speaking of which you have a higher chance of finding enough 4-leaf clovers to stuff a pillow than you do of winning the lottery, as the odds are 1 in 10,000). You can knock on wood performing the drum solo of Moby Dick by Led Zeppelin live version (about an hour song). It doesn’t matter, you still ain’t winning. And let’s entertain the idea that maybe these superstitious type rituals *do* actually provide some sort of “boost” to your luck. Well even if it doubled your luck, even if it tripled, heck even if it you did something that made you *a hundred times* more lucky, you’d STILL be looking at a fraction of a fraction of a fraction chance of winning. I mean when we say the odds are against you, I ain’t talking about picking one card out of a deck of 52 type of “odds against you”. I’m talking picking one grain of sand in an entire sandbox type of odds against you. And I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “Well what about scratch offs??” I’ll tell you about scratch offs though. Still ain’t worth it. There. End of discussion. Alright, but let’s get into it. Now, scratch off tickets usually have a win rate between 3-30%. The odds are waaayy better in your favor compared to the number draw for sure. But you gotta keep in mind that your “winnings” more likely than not are going to be an amount *less than* what you paid for the scratch off ticket. You’re at a loss, a negative ROI (Return On Investment). You could pay $30 for your scratch off, and quote on quote “win $2. Well that just sets you back $28. Of course, you could actually profit as well, tenfold. You could win maybe even a couple thousand dollars from that single scratch off ticket alone. But again, *odds are against you*. You’re likely to wind up LOSING money more so than gaining any sort of profit. It’s a total gamble, really. And gambling is a fool’s game. A smart man’s game is strategic. We’ll get to some smart strategies for your money in a sec, but first I want to cover an important point... Rich People Don’t Buy Lottery Tickets. It’s true. Lottery tickets exploit the poor and middle class by enticing them with the hopes of instant riches. Lottery tickets literally bring in BILLIONS of dollars to the government every year. It’s almost like a sort of “secret tax” that only the poor and middle class pay. Of course, it’s totally optional to pay this tax, the rich have found out, as they do with most other taxes. Rich people are always looking for ways to make more money from their money. They’re constantly calculating where to put their money in order to yield the largest return in their investment. Now don’t you think that if the lottery was a profitable endeavor, all these rich investors would be hoarding up as many lottery tickets as possible? But that’s not the case. That’s not the case at all. Rich people don’t put money into the lottery because they know it won’t bring them any profit. The jackpot of the lottery sort of a false incentive to get you to pay more taxes. I mean think about, what is a tax? A portion of money you earn that’s given directly to the government, without any sort of return. Well, with the fractional numbers we talked about earlier regarding your chances of winning said jackpot, you’re, as we mentioned, flushing your money down the toilet, that is, giving it to the government, and thus paying a tax. Really fucked up if you think about it. They (the government) sell you the idea that you too could be rich to get you to pay them *even more* money (for a lottery ticket) on top of the ridiculous amount of money that they already steal from your hard earned paycheck. All while allocating all that money directly to tax cuts for the wealthy and upper class. So yeah, since the lottery is basically a tax disguised as a fun little game, and the rich like to avoid taxes as much as possible, they do NOT buy lottery tickets. And you may be thinking, well wait a minute! The people who WON the lottery ended up *becoming* rich. And while that much is true, there’s always a catch to something good, isn’t there? Let’s dive deeper. Lottery Winners Usually End Up Broke 70%. Seventy freaking percent of lottery winners wind up filing for bankruptcy at some point. That’s not just a majority. That’s an *overwhelming* majority. People that win the lottery blow their riches away more often than not. They’re given so much money they just don’t know how to handle it all. Fact of the matter is, if you’re not financially savvy while poor, you won’t magically become financially savvy if you’re handed a huge jackpot to spend. And spend is what people tend to do with the money. They’re not smart about it. They don’t invest it. They spend it. They purchase luxury items, like a fancy car, champagne, and a yacht. It all comes down to this consumer-driven culture that perpetuates buying the latest and greatest. Of course, when you *spend* money, you lose it and when you invest money, well you gain even more of it. The idea of “success” in this consumer heavy culture in which we live in is to have a lot of “stuff”. The more stuff you have, and the fancier that stuff is, the more successful you are. But the way I see success is having happiness and freedom. The lottery ticket could very well be your ticket to happiness and freedom; it can give you the ability to do what you want, pay the bills, and not have to once worry “how am I going to afford this?” But instead of living comfortably with “just enough”, because of this consumer brainwashing, people see their jackpot winnings as the the ultimate shopping spree -- the opportunity to get more stuff! They’ll go out and spend every last dollar they had faster than you can read the winning lotto numbers out loud. It’s kind of sad, really. Furthermore, lottery winners are statistically highly likely to be robbed, kidnapped, and even murdered. The rewards aren’t worth it, man. I mean I don’t know about you but I prefer NOT to be a target of criminals. Earn your wealth. Don’t hope for it. The lottery offers nothing but false hope and wishful thinking. You’re not *actually* going to win that crazy amount of cash. It’s practically as much of a fantasy as finding a unicorn in the forest. And even if you did win, be honest with yourself, would you really even know what to do with it? If your answer is something along the lines of “I’d buy (blank) -- a luxury car, a big house, my own skating rink, etc. then you’ll probably be just another statistic that ends up bankrupt in a few months, maybe a few years down the road at best. If your answer, on the other hand, is something like “pay off my (blank) --- student loans, mortgage, etc or “invest in Bitcoin, Amazon, and Tesla” then you might fall under that 30% category of people that win the lottery that DON’T end up bankrupt. A rare breed indeed. But if you’re the type of person to say you’d either pay off debt or invest with your lottery winnings, then you’re probably not the type of person to purchase a ticket in the first place, because you realize just how bad of an investment it really is. And by the way, notice I said “earn” your wealth. I didn’t say try for it. I didn't say work hard for it. I said earn it. You can earn your wealth nice and slow. Invest in stocks. Invest in crypto. Heck, even put it in a savings account for crying out loud! The interest rate ain’t nothing to write home about, but at least you’ll be accumulating wealth rather than digging yourself deeper into debt. A lottery ticket, statistically speaking is more likely to burn a hole in your pocket than it is to fill your wallet. And that’s including if you win, because as we covered, most lottery winners end up broke shortly after collecting their prize. The point is, you want to do things that actually allow your money to make you *more* money. I mean theoretically, that’s indeed why you purchase a lottery ticket in the first place. You’re *hoping* that the little money you spend can turn into a large sum of cash. You’re in a sense “investing” with the intent to make profit. What happens though is you wind up just spending this money or paying a “tax” directly to the government. It doesn’t net you any value or meaningful returns, other than an aching feeling that you “didn’t win this time.” “But maybe next time,” you’ll think to yourself. Maybe next time I *could* win. Then what do you know? You don’t win the next time or the time after that or the hundredth and seventh time after that either. You get stuck in this perpetual loop of endless hope, which never grants satisfaction. I mean, if you add up all the money you spend on lottery tickets, you’d probably have quite a sack of change, of which *could have* not only been kept but also have been gaining interest in the stock market. Yeah, sure, investments like stocks and even crypto may not seem as cool as winning the multi-mega-million jackpot overnight, but the fact of the matter is, you can “win” a jackpot *slowly* over time. You can earn your way to riches *eventually*. And that’s the way a true procrasitn8r likes to do it, eventually. Instead of putting a couple dollars into the purchase of a lottery ticket in *hopes* that it will make you rich, you can instead put that money into an investment or savings account and take the slow n steady yet *guaranteed* path to success. One dollar. One step. At. A. Time. If you’re going to participate in the Lottery, keep it recreational. Look, if after reading my entire piece here you’re still in the mode of “fuck it, I’m buying a lottery ticket”, then do so as a sort of fun thing to do, not an actual hope that you’re gonna get rich from it. I mean I suppose if you see it as some sort of hobby, that’s fine. Go ahead and buy whatever kind of lottery ticket you fancy. As long as you keep it a hobby and don’t turn it into an addiction. There’s a fine line. It should be something recreational. You could be addicted to the “thrill of luck”. Gambling is a real addiction. You’ll get trapped into the mode of thinking “I gotta win. I just gotta.” And will keep on buying chances to win, only to wind up losing in the end. Purchase a lottery ticket with the mindset that you are going to LOSE. After all, it’s better to be pleasantly surprised than it is to be severely disappointed. Take it easy, N8 There’s this stigma against procrastination in society. The standard is set that if you procrastinate, then you’re a loser. You can’t manage your time if you’re a procrastinator. You’re an utter failure if you consistently procrastinate. You have to be punctual. Do things pronto. Make it happen NOW. Don’t dilly dally. Don’t wait. Do it. And do it immediately. C’mon! Chop! Chop! Let’s make this prompt! But contrary to popular belief in this fast-paced society in which we live in, procrastination is NOT a bad thing at all. It’s really not. In fact, if anything,[ it’s actually one of the key ingredients towards effective time management.] I mean think about it this way: you have to procrastinate *something* -- no matter what. Even if you decide to do the productive thing. Let’s say you choose to do your homework. Well, you’re procrastinating doing the dishes and taking your dog out for a walk. You’re even procrastinating hanging out with your friends. The very act of choosing to do something means you are procrastinating another. You *must* procrastinate. You must put off one thing in order to do something else. It’s not a matter of if you do or do not procrastinate. It’s a matter of *what* you procrastinate on.  Now of course, it’s possible to procrastinate the *wrong* thing, but even that is subjective at best. What one finds to be important may be seen as a waste of time to another. Of course, I suppose if we want to look at this from an objective point of view, the wrong thing to procrastinate on would be something that allows you to “better”yourself. You should always be leveling up and evolving as a person. You may have a goal in mind like losing weight or starting a business -- that’s the objectively “wrong” type of thing to procrastinate on because it gets you to level up and better yourself -- yet you refuse to even get started on it. You keep putting it off and putting it off, using one excuse after the other -- anything just to avoid doing the thing you said you’d do. But believe it or not, at that point you’re not procrastinating. At that point you’re *hesitating*. And there’s a difference, as we’ll get to. Whether it’s because of a fear of failure, feelings of insecurity or self-doubt, you’re not putting the thing off because you *want* to, you’re putting it off because you feel emotionally compelled to do so. Whether you put off making a move and striking up a conversation with someone you find attractive because you’re afraid of getting rejected or put off getting in shape because you’re afraid of feeling embarrassed as the fat guy at the gym or put off starting your own business because you’re afraid it might fail and you’ll end up bankrupt, you’re quite literally “frozen in fear”. You’re so overwhelmed with negative emotions that you don’t budge. You are *hesitating* moving forward. Now that’s what people criticize when they say “don’t procrastinate”. They’re saying “don’t put off things that would help you better yourself.” But what you’re doing in this type of situation is not procrastinating. No. Procrastination is a calm choice to do something later, not a frantic avoidance of something perpetually. Fact of the matter is, oftentimes procrastination is confused with hesitation. See, there’s a difference between putting something off purposefully and putting something off emotionally. Both are waiting to do something until later, but only one of them has a positive outlook. Anyway, today on the blog we’re gonna take a look at hesitation versus procrastination. And without further ado, let’s dive...right into it!  Hesitation stems from Self Doubt The main difference between hesitation and procrastination is based on the level of confidence you have when choosing to put something off. If you don’t get started on something simply because you doubt yourself and your own ability to do something, then that, my friend, is hesitation. You’re delaying something not because you’re prioritizing something else more important, not because you want to do it later, but because you feel you lack the capability to do so. Procrastination, on the other hand, is believing you do in fact have what it takes to make it happen, you’re just not going to do it right now. Are you putting off that diet because you think you’re a fat piece of shit or because you just don’t want to do it quite yet? Are you holding off asking that girl out because you think she’s way out of your league or because you’re enjoying single life right now? Are you neglecting your homework assignment because you doubt your academic ability or because you’d genuinely rather watch TV right now? When you hesitate, you stop and think to yourself, something along the lines of “Oh wait I can’t because (blank)”. Conversely, when you procrastinate you think to yourself along the lines of “I won’t because (blank).” See the difference? Can’t and won’t. Feeding yourself the idea that you “can’t” do something, that you are unable to, is self doubt through and through. Saying you “won’t” do it though is more stoic.t shows you have control and authority over your own life. Leading us to the next point...  Hesitation is Uncontrollable Inner Turmoil When you hesitate, you get yourself so wrapped up in negative feelings that it “freezes” you in place. You couldn’t move even if you wanted to. You’re trapped in the binding of self doubt, pity, and loathing. You’re a deer in the headlights. You don’t know what the fuck to do, but just stand there and don’t move. You’re not thinking rationally Truth is, you don’t have control over your own inner thoughts and feelings. You let them control you. Now when I say “control” your thoughts and feelings, I don’t mean become this unfeeling uncaring bastard. Nor do I mean to imply that my suggestion to you is to “just stop thinking about it.” Besides, you can never consciously “stop thinking” about something. If I tell you “Stop thinking about walruses”. Well guess what? You just thought about a walrus. Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon, maybe just the word “walrus”. And even if you thought to yourself “I’m not going to think about a walrus”, well bucko, right there! You just mentioned/thought of the word walrus. Point is, thoughts and feelings come, and to “control” them doesn’t mean to put a stop to them (as that would be literally impossible), it simply means not to attach yourself to them. Thoughts are sort of like browsing through the radio, flipping through different channels. While you can’t necessarily choose what’s playing, you can choose to “tune in” to one (attach yourself to it) or keep browsing. By controlling your thoughts and emotions, you deliberately decide not to “tune into” the negative ones, the ones that cause you to hesitate and doubt your ability to move forward. Tune into the positive thoughts, and just like a radio, they may seem a bit staticy or fuzzy at first, but the further you drive, the closer you will get to getting a clear signal. It may take a while until that “good song” is clear sounding. Don’t expect yourself to just start thinking more positively in a heartbeat. But in the end, you can release your inner turmoil by tuning into those positive thoughts and stop hesitating the things you want to do.  Procrastination means you’ll do it eventually Whereas hesitation has you saying “I’m not sure if I could* ever* do that*, procrastination has you saying “I can do that. Just not right now.” You say “I’ll get around to it. Eventually” as a procrastinator. Hesitation has [the permanence of “always” and “never”], but procrastination gives you flexibility and room to grow “one day”. When you hesitate, you’re likely to believe that you’re not ready to do the thing you want to do. The only difference in the mindset of procrastination is that you believe that you're not ready *yet*. Yet is the key difference. Yet opens the doors of opportunity. Yet incites possibility. Yet is a positive outlook towards the future. There’s quite a big difference between “I can’t do it” and “I can’t do it YET.” In one, you’re creating a perpetual state of being, and in the other, you’re creating a state of evolution. Eventually and Evolve are so closely related, not only do the words themselves phonetically begin the same, but both definitions insinuate change over time. When you hesitate on a goal, no matter how big or small, you don’t see the potential change within yourself. You’re saying to yourself “I will always be a loser. I will always be fat. I will always be poor” or what have you. You’re not being open to evolving or making a change. You’re hesitating because you don’t believe that your current set of circumstances or current abilities and knowledge can ever be any different. You stop yourself from entering the race because right now you’re not much of a runner. You refuse to start streaming because right now you know nothing about it. You hold back trying to ask a stranger for their number because right now you are a bit socially awkward. You’re basically *limiting yourself* to what you currently have available and fail to see how you can upgrade, evolve, or change at all in the future. Procrastinating, on the other hand, gives you the reassurance that “tomorrow” (or at least some day in the future) that things can and will change. It may not be done now, but that doesn’t mean it can’t or won’t be... later.  Don’t Hesitate to Procrastinate.
You heard that right. Don’t be afraid to put things off. [Remember, it’s okay to say “No”.] It’s a power word. It gives you freedom to make choices. It gives you control over your life. You don’t have to prioritize helping others or doing what others expect of you. You may feel tired, it’s been a rough week, but you have a friend that needs help moving this weekend. You may hesitate to tell him “No, I really don’t have the energy to do that” and instead tell him “Okay, I’d love to help,” then wind up schlepping furniture for hours on your weekend. It’s okay to tell him “Hey, I don’t really want to spend my weekend carrying heavy shit up and down staircases.” You see, you may have become just so hesitant to the point where you can’t procrastinate. Woah! Mind blown. I know. You see what you’re doing though? You’re putting off things that make YOU better and are prioritizing things that make OTHERS better. Look, you have to be willing to prioritize yourself Think of an investment When you invest money into something, you value it more. Likewise, when you invest emotional and mental energy into something, you value it more. That is to say, if you invest emotional and mental resources into *other people* more than you do for your own damn self, then you’re going to in fact value those people more than yourself. Invest in yourself. Prioritize yourself. Now when I say that, I don’t mean don’t care about others or ignore them or refuse to invest in any sort of relationship with others. No. What I am saying though is that in order to take care of others, you have to first and foremost take care of yourself. Give what you can, not just what others want to take from you. Put off your charitable works and tendency to people please in order to focus on doing things that make you happy. Be a procrastinator and know that not everything that people ask of you must be done right now. You have someone more important to be concerned about (hint: that’s you). Don’t feel guilty or otherwise hesitate about taking care of your own wants and needs first before reaching out to help anyone else. Find happiness within yourself, not the approval of others. You can wait on a lot of things, but your own wellbeing and happiness shouldn't be one of them. Tkae it Easy, N8 Well, fellow procrastin8r, don’t you just hate time limits? Whether it’s a teacher giving you a limited time to hand in your homework by assigned date or your boss screaming at you to be at a meeting at 8 o clock SHARP tomorrow morning, or societal pressure to get married and have kids by your late 20s, there are these expectations of fulfilling certain tasks or accomplishments within a certain time frame. I’ll tell you what though, I have no problem turning in an assignment late or showing up to a scheduled meeting/appointment fashionably late or even making some big life achievement much at a much older age than expected of me, that is “late” in life. After all, I wouldn’t be living up to the name “procrastin8r” if I tended to do things “on time”.  But ya know what? Truth is, I do do things “on time”. My time. Not someone else’s, not a third party’s. Mine. Time is my own thing and I choose what to do and when to do it. And that’s the beauty of being late -- building your own schedule, building your own *life*, calling your own shots. If you can comfortably do things late, it shows that you effectively do not give a fuck about what anyone else thinks or expects of you. You do your own thing *regardless* of any expectations or consequences that come about for not meeting those expectations. You’re *unfazed* by the terms of others and do things *on your own terms*. That’s an important mindset to strive for. Of course, there’s no denying that there’s a stigma around being late. Being late means ya ain’t got your shit together; it means you’re a complete mess. You lack discipline and diligence if you’re the type of person to be late. But I say, contrary to that popular belief, that being late shows confidence. It shows you don’t dick around with arbitrary schedules and instead make time for what you find to be important. No one can tell you what to find important and when. You don’t follow orders. You follow your own way. You abide by your own Dude. You walk your own pace. You take life slow and don’t make it a rush from one obligation to the next. You’re here to *live* and not exist. By being late, you communicate that you value your own freedom. You prefer doing things “at liberty” rather than “on schedule.” Running late tells people “I got better things to do.” It shows you prioritize your own wants and needs first. It also shows you are taking in life rather than booking in another thing to do.  Now one of the criticisms you may receive in regards to doing things for yourself and choosing to be late is that it’s selfish. You aren’t respecting *other people’s* time by showing up late. Though it may be true that it comes across as disrespectful (and perhaps even lazy), I find making it clear to people not to expect you to ever be punctual goes a long way. Let them know up front that it may not happen “on time” but it will happen “at some point”. Eventually is when it will happen. You’re not trying to disrespect anyone. You’re just trying to be laid back about the very nature of time. You feel no rush to do things immediately and entice people with your slow n’ steady pace. In general, “Either let me do it when I want to, or I won’t do it at all.” is the attitude you want to take. Of course, you don’t necessarily want to explicitly say it that way, but that’s the sort of vibe you want to give off. You tell them, in a bit of a polite way-- “Look, you can choose what’s more important to you: getting it within a certain time frame or getting it period.” Again, don’t use these words verbatim, but make those principles clear in whatever the situation calls for. Be sure to also express your intention to actually follow through (eventually), just not “on time”. You’re aiming to take things slow is all instead of blitz from one event to the next. “I’ll be at the party. I may arrive late, but I promise I’ll be there.” “I’ll get this done. It’s not going to happen by the date you gave me, but it will get done.” “Let’s shoot for 7-ish” “Ish” is a good little idiom to use. It says that’s the time we’re aiming for, but it’s not that deep if it doesn’t happen exactly *that* minute. It could be 7:15. It could be 7:30. Who knows? Shit happens. Shit comes up. Let’s make it happen, but let’s not make a fuss over where the clocks’ hands are pointing when we do it.  Being late shows you have flexibility. You’re not so hard pressed to fulfill a certain obligation within a dead set timeline. You’re relaxed about it, easy about it. You’re laid back about getting things done, just as long as they get done...eventually. Doesn’t matter if it’s today or tomorrow or maybe next week. Doesn’t matter if you’re running “behind schedule” by a few minutes or even a few hours. You’re completely okay with not counting every single second. You live in abundance. Time, while indeed limited, is not something that dictates you. You’d rather actually live, rather than sit there and count numbers until the day you die. You’re adaptable in your approach if you are the type to be “late to the party”. No one’s going to get sweaty when you make plans because they know you’re not gonna lay down a strict deadline to get there. People that insist on meeting deadlines and due dates can’t handle unexpected circumstances. Why? Well because they just can’t do what they were planning to do “on time”. A flat tire that makes them late for work is enough to set them off. Whereas you, a procrastin8r, who has no qualms about being late finds no reason to worry or get frustrated over such trivial matters. You see unexpected circumstances as opportunities, mini adventures. Anyway, punctuality is particularly overrated in society and we’re going to talk about that in today’s blog, which given the point, you may decide to read later. Either way, let’s dive….right into it.  Due Dates are just Suggestions Take it as such. Due Dates aren’t some sort of law you must follow. They’re not a contract you’re bound to (I mean unless you are freelancing or run a business and have some sort of client contact, but even then, you can still choose to be late; it’s just a matter of facing the consequences of doing so). You have free will and the power to choose whether or not to complete something by a specific due date. Don’t feel like your soulbound to that date. It’s just a suggestion. You don’t have to embrace it. When someone tells you to get something done by a certain time, well, that’s just, like, their opinion man. Yeah, even your boss, even your own mother. Don’t let anyone tell you when you have to do something. Certainly, there may be consequences you face for not completing say a PowerPoint presentation for your boss by the set due date, but it’s whatever, man. You don’t let it faze you. Rules are meant to be broken and so are due dates. To clarify here, I’m not suggesting you *literally* write off every assignment and do it later. What I am suggesting is that you acknowledge that due dates are recommendations NOT requirements. There’s nothing you “have to” do at all. You’re free to choose not to. You’re free to choose to do it later. Don’t feel obligated to perform a certain feat by a very specific time. You see, this is more of an attitude thing and less of a practical thing. Free yourself from feeling locked into due dates and see them more as a sort of proposal that you can choose to decline  Better Late than Corrupt or Dead . You shouldn’t get yourself so wrapped up in *when* something must get done that you negate how well, safe, and ethical it is done. I mean think about how many car accidents are caused by someone rushing a red light to get to work on time. Think about how many video games are rushed to the shelves that are bug ridden and unplayable. Think about how many college essays are plagiarized in order to meet a due date instead of writing original content that would take longer. Think about how many people go to school or work sick and spread their germs because they couldn’t face coming in late to rest. All of these scenarios are easily avoidable by accepting tardiness, by embracing the act of being late. Insisting on always being on time leads to reckless decisions. People can get so worried about the numbers on the clock that they ignore everything else, even their own goddamn safety and wellbeing as well as the safety and wellbeing of others. Earlier we mentioned how being late can come across as selfish, but I’d say it’s more selfish to be punctual, like you’re so concerned about your reputation of being punctual that you abolish any other responsibility you would normally hold yourself accountable by, like following traffic laws, for example. Be okay with being late. I mean, we talked about the consequences of being late, but sometimes, ya gotta keep in mind, there are far more severe consequences for being on time than there are for being late.  Walk Your Own Pace You ain’t gotta try and keep up to anyone moving faster than you. Just because your best friend got married last year, doesn’t mean you have to get married to the next person you meet waiting in line at a coffee shop. Just because your younger cousin graduated college, doesn’t mean you gotta rush and get your degree. This isn’t a competition. Take your time, slow n’ steady, to do the things you want to do, when you want to do them. Don’t compare yourself to others. This isn’t a race or you very well shouldn’t make it out to be. Make life a smooth steady ride, not a quick jolt from birth to death. One. Step. At. A. Time. That’s all ya gotta do. Go at your own pace. Move to your own groove. We live in such a fast-paced society. It’s no wonder you feel compelled to want to try and keep up. But man, I tell you, that’s all hogwash. You’ll find life a lot more relaxing, a lot more enjoyable, when you take the time to do things *slowly* than you ever will tryna rush to get it done ASAP. A NAP is a lot better than ASAP!  Tardiness ain’t a Big Deal It really isn’t. I mean we’re lead to believe that being late is one of the most immoral acts imaginable. But it’s really not that deep at all. Somehow, tardiness is up there with cheating, lying, and stealing in the eyes of society. A person who is late is on the same level as a thief, robbing people of their time. C’mon now! First of all, being on time robs you of your sanity, so there’s that. Also, judging a person solely on their ability to get on time or not ignores a lot of other factors concerning their ability to perform. Like a person who is late can actually perform a lot better than someone who is very, very punctual. Personally, I’d rather have a mechanic that takes weeks to fix my car and have it running for years after than a mechanic who takes less than 24 hours to quote on quote “fix” my car, only to have it break down again within a few days, for example. Sure, I need a car, but I can use public transit or Uber in the mean time. Quality over punctuality is the point here. So yeah, I’d reckon tardiness ain’t that big of a deal. You know what’s actually a big deal though? Not getting it done AT ALL. That’s what’s *really* the bottom line here. As long as it gets done, who cares? Who cares if you start a new career in your mid 30s? Or pick up a new hobby in your late 60s? Who cares if you don’t get married until you’re 40 or don’t go to college until you’re 50? As long as it’s something you set out to do, and it gets done *eventually* there’s no rhyme or reason to feel bad about being tardy.  Better to Delay Success than Get Started with Failure People get so concerned with upholding a certain schedule that they wind up making a mess of things in complete disregard to any sort of standard *other than* fulfilling the requirements of said schedule. All other practices and care for quality go completely out the window - just as long as it gets done. ON TIME. I play the game Dead by Daylight and recently they released the Resident Evil Chapter. Upon release, the new map of Raccoon City Police Department was completely unplayable, causing so much lagg and crashes -- to the point where they had to temporarily “turn off” the map as an option. On top of that, console players experienced massive lagg and glitches with specific character abilities that made them impossible to use. It was overall, just a complete fuckery, and quite frankly, just NOT ready for launch. But they went ahead and launched it anyway? Why? To meet a goddamn due date, to follow a freaking schedule. The down side of prioritizing a schedule over prioritizing functionality and quality is that you’re so focused on the due date that you wind up doing a shitty job anyway. Look, I’d rather wait a bit for something of good quality, yet alone actually freaking functional. Put off things. Just do it...later. Now to clarify, you shouldn’t let the fear of failure prevent you from moving forward or trying. See, there’s a difference between hesitation and procrastination. Hesitation is reacting to your own emotions of fear and anxiety, whereas procrastination is deliberately deciding, through thoughtful *reason* to wait ‘til later. But that’s another topic for another day. For now though, the takeaway is that meeting a deadline shouldn’t be a top priority thing and you should know when to delay a launch, to procrastinate that kickoff for another time.  Tomorrow is an Opportunity If it didn’t happen today *on time*, well tomorrow’s another day, another opportunity, another chance to make it happen. Locking yourself into a deadline means you’re saying to yourself “I have to get this done by this time or else I won’t do it at all.” But if you’re not opposed to turning things in late, if you’re not opposed to being a procrastin8r and waiting ‘til tomorrow, well that just opens up the doors of possibilities and seeing it through at some point You essentially dodge that ultimatum of “now or never” and say...  It’ll Happen….Eventually!
You’re not giving up. You’re not dismissing it. You’re not saying it won’t ever happen. You’re just putting it off...til later. It’s better late than never, folks. Forget about the stigma associated with being late and embrace it. Don’t pressure yourself so hard to get something done within a certain time frame. Just take your time and do things nice n’ slow. And remember, life was meant to live, not rush on by. Take it easy, N8 Arguing is stressful. It’s a lot of emotional and mental effort to deal with. It turns an otherwise slight disagreement into a huge dramatic event. It morphs a small irritation into an overwhelming vocal battle. Needless to say, it’s not the lazy way to cause an argument in any sort of way. Arguing accomplishes absolutely nothing and leaves the both of you involved absolutely drained, complete with a headache and pain in your neck. That’s not minimizing effort and maximizing results at all. That’s NOT lazy. That’s giving you shit results for a whole lotta effort, man. You gotta take it easy in life and never argue with anyone. You gotta keep it cool and calm. Be lazy when it comes to disagreements. Of course, conflict is inevitable. I mean, face it, people aren’t always going to agree with you or go along with what you say. Whether it’s a roommate, significant other, family member, friend, or neighbor, there is going to be somebody (or maybe even sombodies) who don’t quite see eye to eye with you over one thing or another. We’re talking about different people here. Different people with different backgrounds and different sets of beliefs. These differences inevitably bring about conflict.  Maybe your roommate likes to blast loud music early in the morning, while you’re not a morning person at all. Maybe your significant other expects you to text back immediately, but you have the mindset that you’ll text back “eventually”. Maybe your friend wants to go out clubbing, but you’d rather just sit inside and play video games. Everybody is just a Dude with an opinion, man. We all have different likes, wants, needs, and thoughts. But just because someone’s worldview is completely different than yours, doesn’t mean you have to escalate it into an argument. I mean, certainly, there is going to be conflict the moment you even think to yourself “I don’t agree with that,” but there’s a fine line between conflict and drama. See, conflict is simply recognizing the fact that a difference of opinion exists; while drama is intensifying that difference to the point where there’s animosity and a hostile environment. Naturally, the lazy man’s life is a drama free zone, because the lazy man lives in an environment of peace and relaxation. After all, there shouldn’t be much, if anything, that can “shake him out of bed”, so to speak or get him “worked up.” Getting worked up is nothing but extra work and work is the very opposite of being lazy. There is a way to address conflict without turning it into drama. There is a way to discuss issues, without it leading to an argument. And these are things you must know how to do if you truly want to embrace your laziness. So today, we’re going to take a look at what exactly an argument is and how to avoid getting into one, so you can continue to [remain cool, calm, and laid back at all times.]. And without further ado, let’s dive….right into it!  Arguments bring tension The first telltale sign that you’re in an argument and not a normal conversation is the feeling of tenseness. No longer is the dialogue geared towards a laid back banter between two people, instead it becomes a shouting battle between two warring generals on opposing armies. And that’s really what it seems like. I mean the person in front of you, in that moment, during an argument, is no longer your significant other, friend, or even slight acquaintance. No. They are no longer someone you associate with in any sort of mutual territory. The person you’re talking to becomes your opponent, and you become theirs. Two opponents with one goal in mind and one goal only -- to defeat the opposition at whatever the cost. See, an argument takes away compassion. It eliminates rapport. It destroys the goal of finding some sort of compatibility or cooperation between the two of you and replaces it with the goal of defeating the other person. So yeah, it gets pretty tense. It turns what could be a serious conversation into an all out brawl to get one person to say “Okay, I admit, I’m wrong.” You can almost begin to hear the boss battle music begin playing in the background  Cool It. Loosen Up. Look man, there’s no need to fight. Despite whatever sort of disagreement is boiling up between you two, simmer it down a tad. It’s important to recognize this “tense” feeling though, so you are aware of that in which you should avoid. Recognize when the conversation sort of shifts gears and becomes tense that way you can slow down or slam the breaks before running into overdrive. Rather than escalating that tension and pulling it tighter though, loosen up a bit. Physically, lean back and relax your muscles. Unclench your jaw (and fists!) You have to remember, that person standing in front of you is NOT your opponent. Exit the mindset of “me versus them” and enter one of “us versus the issue.” Tackle issues *together* in a co-op mission. The minute you make the discussion some sort of competition to “win”, is the minute that discussion evolves into an argument. And the minute it becomes an argument, well that’s the minute you begin to value being right over being together in the relationship And when say relationship, I’m referring to any type of relationship -- romantic, platonic, or otherwise. Fact of the matter is, you can’t build a strong healthy relationship (of any kind) by arguing your way through it. Hey, listen being right isn’t everything. Companionship and rapport are better attributes to seek after than a temporary victory of proving to another person that you’re right *once and for all*.  It Gets Personal Another clear sign that you’ve gotten yourself caught up in an argument is when the initial issue or debate is no longer the focal point of the discussion. Instead, there’s off-topic criticisms or insults that come into play. You forgot to do the dishes and suddenly it’s brought up that you smoke too many cigarettes. And of course you or the person you’re arguing with will attempt to justify how whatever off the wall criticism they bring up is absolutely and completely relevant to the topic at hand. “Well if you didn’t smoke so much, you’d have time to remember to do the dishes.” As if! C’mon now, now they’re just trying to rile you up just to rile you up. They’re looking for some sort of reaction. Because here’s the thing folks, arguments is NOT about a test of wits. No, this isn’t a debate club competition. This is just a war. It’s not moderated. There are no rules. Arguments are about a battle of emotions. It’s stabbing each other in the heart, until one calls it quits. And even then the quote on quote “winner” might continue to harass and bash the “loser”. (This is essentially what those emotional abusive relationships look like, where the one person just won’t “let it go” and will continue to pummel and berate the person about the argument.) Lashing out, trying to hurt each other, saying things you *know* will trigger each other (emotionally), just to get a reaction. Your significant other might throw a rude comment about how you’re probably so forgetful because of when the bully used to shove your head in lockers and it fucked up your brain, knowing damn well that getting bullied is something triggering for you. Then you’ll throw something back about her daddy issues or some shit. Arguments quickly become a fight over “who can push the most buttons”. It’s less of a collaborative design to accomplish a solution to the issue at hand and more of a brutal brawl to get the other person to collapse. The person wants you to “lose it”. They want you to get riled up. And what is this “it” you lose? Your cool. Your calmness. Your Dudeyness if you will. So when someone throws a personal attack at you, take a step back and see what is happening. They’re inviting you into a battle royale of emotions, which, as a lazy person, you ain’t interested in participating in. You can even call them out on it and be like “Do we want to talk about this maturely or just throw insults at each other?” that way you imply that what they’re doing is immature and also you would be willing to discuss it, just not in a schoolyard sort of way.  The Tone Says It All You have to be aware of not just *what* you’re saying, but *how* you say it. The tone, cadence, and enunciation says a lot more about what you mean than the actual words coming out of your mouth. Speaking your opinion without an argumentative tone is something I struggled with, personally, for years, and quite frankly at this point, have still yet to master, so I understand if this is something you don’t get right away. Oftentimes my passion was mistaken as agitation and people would get defensive. Like, I wasn’t *trying* to argue or make a fuss out of things, but people would take it that way. Anyway, what I’m getting at here is that it’s important to be able to learn how to state the way you think or feel about something, without coming across as overly demanding or hostile. You want to aim to be less harsh and more wholesome. State your controversial opinion, idea, or feelings, in a “as a matter of factly” sort of way, as if you’re talking about something simple like the weather, not this really big issue you hold passionate beliefs about. Of course, if you slip up, which, you’re human, it happens, then an easy way to recognize that your tone came off a bit too harsh is if the other person gets defensive, like really fired up and aggravated. If all the sudden they’re heating things up after you stated an opinion of some sort, either you said something “triggering” to them or you said something in a way that came across a bit sharp. Now of course, you shouldn’t take responsibility for someone else’s emotions nor change your opinion or agree with them just to people please and make make them happy, but what you can do is use a little *tact* in your approach.  Tact is Key to Approaching Issues “Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip” as quote by Winston Churchill goes. You can say rude things without being brash. You can be mean without being punishing. You can address a conflict without turning it into an argument. Tact is all you need. This goes hand in hand with using the right tone, because using the right set of words can get your message across without being a complete douche bag just like saying it in the right tone can communicate that you’re being friendly and aren’t looking for a fight. Be firm in what you say, without being overly aggressive. In the same vein, be thoughtful with your words, without being overly polite. I mean, you don’t want to be so nice to them to the point where they can just walk all over you and you take it, but at the same time, you don’t want to just be a flat out dick either. Whenever you disagree or need to address a serious issue, add a little tact. It’s the secret ingredient to a wonderful friendship cake.  Speaking LOUDER doesn’t make your words any more convincing Now speaking of tone and tact in your speech, it’s important to note that the volume of your voice does not equate to the legitimacy of your argument. In other words, just because you’re shouting or otherwise raising your tone, doesn’t mean that what you’re saying is any more right than if you whispered it (or just spoke in a normal conversation volume for that matter). Point is, there are plenty of ways to get your point across without resorting to banshee tactics, like I just did there. I didn’t ALL CAPS SCREAM AT YOU. But you got the point in what I’m trying to say. Likewise, yelling at your partner or friend won’t make the point you’re trying to make any more valid. Raising volume levels. All it does is raise the drama levels. And like we covered earlier, drama is a no go. I mean c’mon the extra strain on your vocal chords, the larger breaths you gotta take to compensate for your louder voice, all more effort than necessary when you can get the same point across with a lot less *tension* in both your vocal system and in the room.  Arguments stem from impatience Ah, impatience, the opposite of what being a procrastin8r is all about. For patience is at the heart of procrastination. Think about it, an argument is two people who are impatiently trying to prove the other person utterly wrong, instead of taking it slow n’ steady to find a negotiation and middle ground somewhere “You’re gonna admit your wrong NOW!” is the premise behind arguments, typically. No waiting to find a solution. No procrastinating. Just prove the other person on *immediately*, right then and there. Every single argument (or very well nearly every single one) is instigated by some form of impatience by one or both parties involved. Rather than taking the slow n’ steady time to find some common ground, people can be so quick to slam each other and dish it out. They’re so addicted to being right that they need their fix ASAP! But getting your fix does not *fix* the situation at hand. Let go of your need to be right. It’s some sort of reliance you have that serves neither of you any good. At that, refusing to be right, doesn’t mean you necessarily have to throw up the white flag and admit you’re wrong either. It simply means you make the goal to collaborate with the other person and build a stronger relationship.friendship, rather than compete over who has a better opinion.  Leave the past behind Unless you’re an archaeologist, then you have absolutely no reason to dig up old shit. More often than not in the state of an argument, one of you (or both of you for that matter) will dust off the old archives of times there was a fuck up. The past should stay in the past. Live in the moment; be present. Move on from what happened and focus on what’s *happening*. Don’t relate the current set of circumstances to what happened before. Don’t give an old throwback to “that time they did something wrong.” There’s no sense in keeping track of past mistakes. Sure, maybe something they did is similar to what they did now, but harping on it and really forcing them to feel guilty about it is just loads of insecure and immature. Most likely, it’s not even *that* similar. It just made you *feel* similar. You’re relating how what they did now made you feel to what they did in the past made you feel and draw the conclusion that there’s some sort of pattern or behavior. And even if there legitimately is, and this supposed pattern goes beyond just your inner fee fees, then you should have made it a deal breaker initially, not the fourth or fifth time after it happened, or at least give them a warning like “one more strike and you’re out.” Make it clear up front the type of things you cannot and will not tolerate and decide whether or not you’re willing to give them leeway to grow or if what they did is a candid deal breaker. If you are willing to give them room to grow, then you can’t bring up how they fucked up in the past ever again, because doing so would communicate that you do NOT in fact want to give them room to grow. Change doesn’t happen immediately and if you’re unwilling or unable to be *patient* and let that change happen *slowly* over time, you need to be honest with yourself and the other person. Honesty can honestly save a lot of hassle in relations with others. It can prevent arguments if you’re just honest about what you want and expect of other people. Learn to forgive the fuck ups. Yours included. What’s done is done and there’s no going back. Holding onto the past like it’s some sort of “trump card” to play whenever they fuck up again is hog wash, man. Just let it go.  Get to the bottom of it Don’t beat around the bush or dance around. Get straight to the point. It’s less work to do so. No sense sporadically throwing criticisms in random directions. Like... Are you really *that* upset that your boyfriend/girlfriend didn’t wear that sweater you gave them to the holiday party? Is it really *that* big of a deal that your roommate didn’t do the dishes? You have to look at: what’s *really* upsetting you. Get down to the fundamental reason you’re in turmoil. Don’t just make a scapegoat out of something trivial or make it out like you’re super mad about this very minor thing. I just mentioned how honesty can prevent arguments because if you’re honest, well then there aren’t any surprises, to say the least. Expectations are made clear. Lying is the one thing you should never procrastinate on. You’re lying to yourself and the other person if you decide to make a huge fuss out of a total non-issue. If the toast is burnt, don’t complain that there’s too much butter. Just say the toast is burnt. Look at the essential reason there appears to be an issue, not any distractions.  Don’t give the silent treatment Don’t you love it? You’re trying to talk to someone about an issue, even calmly at that, and they’re just ignoring you, not speaking to you, no matter what you say. Now, it’s understandable if you don’t want to talk about the issue *right now*. It could be the fact that they’re yelling and screaming and being aggressive and you don’t want drama, or it could be that you just don’t have the emotional energy to deal with it right now. Either way, you wanna *tell them* that you need some space. Tell them you’ll be willing to talk about it *later*. Just say “Let me think about this.” Don’t just walk away and start ignoring them, pouting like a little child. Procrastinate and put off having a serious discussion ‘til later, when you’re both in a calm state of mind, but make it clear you want to do so. Don’t leave ‘em hanging without a single word.  Listen. Listening is one of the laziest, yet most effective communication skills you can have. I mean all you do is lean back and hear what they gotta say. A lot of arguments come from miscommunication and a lot of miscommunication comes from NOT listening. Rather than trying to talk over one another or attempting to prove your point “once and for all”...listen. Just. Listen. Hear them out. Let them tell their side of the story. Allow them to say their piece. Give them a chance to air their own point of view. Don’t be so hard pressed to be understood yourself. Instead take the time to understand them and where they’re coming from.  Relax.
Any type of human interaction is bound to cause *some* sort of conflict at some point, but don’t let it stress you out. Just relax, man. Take it easy. Remember, frustrations don’t need to stir a fight. There’s a way to express those frustrations and concerns without resorting to a loud shouting match or violence. A good way to deflect an argument and keep a relaxed environment is to say something along the lines of: “Look, I’m not trying to argue here. We can discuss this. But we’re not going to argue.” Again, you’re being up front and honest about how you expect issues to be handled. You can further go on to say “I’m willing to get to the bottom of this and figure out a solution here, but we both need to be relaxed and mature about it.” Saying “we” and “both” is important because it takes away the separation of “you” and “me” “I want to discuss this! You’re not going to argue with me!” comes across a lot more aggressive and are fighting words. By using words like “we”, “both”, and “us” you are making the discussion a collaborative event and not some sort of warped competition to best each other. And that’s the ultimate goal here -- collaboration, uniting together. The only way to world peace is to accomplish peace on an individual level, so do your part and stop freaking arguing with people, damnit! If you're relaxed about things, then other people will relax around you. Take it easy, N8 You ever feel like you’re “too busy”? You’ve got chores to do, bills to pay, mouths to feed, work to complete. And with all the things that keep you busy, you feel a bit overwhelmed by the sheer amount of it all. In fact, when you say “I’m just so busy”, the sentiment is probably more accurately stated as “I’m just so overwhelmed right now.” It’s easy to become overwhelmed too when we’re constantly pressured to perform a multitude of different things at once, from doing the dishes to showing up 9 to 5 to cooking meals, the list goes on and on.  Life seems like a constant jump from one obligation to another -- there’s always something to do and once something gets done, another takes its place shortly after. It’s a perpetual loop of doing things, doing more things...without ever feeling like you’ve really accomplished all that much. In this success-driven corporate culture in which we live in, you better damn well make sure you’re busy too. Be busy! Get busy! Have a busy schedule! What’s that? You aren’t busy? Well you better get busy and make yourself busy because you wouldn’t wanna be busy not being busy! There’s this arbitrary expectation in society to be busy all the time. If you’re not busy, then it’s like what are you doing with your life? You lazy son of a bitch. Unless every single minute of your schedule isn’t filled with something ,then it's seen as an absolute waste of time. But you know what? If enjoying life makes me lazy, then fuck it. I’m a lazy son of a bitch. I’ll take that “L”. Whatever, man. See, the alternative to being busy all the time is...actually being happy. Now of course, we’re led to believe that money and fame are what brings happiness. But those are just numbers, arbitrary digits, and no true measure of happiness at all. True happiness comes from within and isn’t found in anything materialistic. No amount of dollars is going to bring you fulfillment. No amount of popularity will bring you satisfaction.  The whole reason we try to make ourselves busy is because we’re sold this idea that our entire worth as a person comes down to our ability to perform. It’s this sort of “go hard or go home” mentality that pushes us to do a lot, rigorously. We strive for greatness because greatness is idolized in society. We hold higher regard to those who “make it a success” than those who make it a happy fulfilling life. Celebrities, entrepreneurs -- they’re people who we worship, in a sense, due to their ability to “get down to it” and perform some sort of busy work that impresses us. The people who hold such prominence in society are not the ones who find a path to happiness, rather a path to riches. And so, it is ingrained in our minds that if we too want to reach such prominence, then we must “get busy”. Of course, we’d all like to hold some sort of high regard or prestigious position. But that which is idolized is not necessarily that which is best. Doing things to be busy to earn money and fame, while tempting to abide by, doesn't grant us happiness. In fact, it doesn’t even really allow us to live. By chasing after materialistic things, and doing busy work to do so, we’re not living, we’re just existing. We’re going through the motions of being busy just for the sake of being busy. And at the end of the day (or end of our life for that matter) ,we’re left feeling utterly unfulfilled.  You may feel judge for sittin’ around doing nothing, but you know what, fellow procrastin8r, forget what anyone else thinks. Just be your own Dude. Come to the shores of Lazy Island, where we have a different measure of success -- your ability to enjoy yourself, not work hard or be busy. You’re either busy or you’re happy. Show me a busy man and I’ll show you someone who’s miserable with himself. Seriously, I have yet to hear someone utte the phrase “I’m just so busy” with excitement in their tone or a smile in their voice. No one actually enjoys being busy. Yet..it’s just something we put ourselves through. Why? Well, we feel like we have to. And again, I say this all the time, but I can’t stress this enough: live a life of desire, not obligation. Being busy is draining. It’s stressful. It’s hell to deal with. And ultimately just leaves you feeling exhausted. I mean why would you want to be busy? Why would you? It doesn’t do anything besides appease to some frivolous standard. Maybe part of you fears saying “I hate being busy” because you’re afraid you’ll be shunned. Look, man, if you don’t want to be busy, then be lazy. Don’t feel guilty about that shit either. Own it. Embrace your laziness. Besides, the busier you are, the more shit you have to potentially worry about. Simplify your life. Focus on just a few things, rather than wearing yourself thin to do a bunch. Don’t make your life busy. Make your life easy. We’re going to deep dive into how to stop being busy in today’s article. And without further ado, let’s dive...right into it.  Limit what you do. There seems to be a never ending cycle of shit to do. Check one thing off your to-do list and three more items appear. You’re constantly pushing yourself to do more, get more be more, accomplish more. But, as we talked about before, you should do LESS with more FOCUS. Of course, we’re given sappy propaganda like “the sky is the limit”, insinuating that we must push beyond our means. But man, I tell you, it’s okay -- it’s absolutely OKAY to do things within your means, to do just enough. You can set limits for yourself, contrary to popular belief. Doing so is healthy, doing so is sane. I mean, we’re only human. We have our limits. It’s okay to know yours and know when to put a stop to it. There’s no sense entering berserk mode to rush in and attempt to do the impossible, Only do things that either make you happy or bring you closer to your goals. That’s it. No need to sporadically fill up your to-do-list and book your schedule with tons of nonsensical things just for the sake of having something to do, just for the sake of “being busy.” Shrink down the amount of tasks you set for yourself. Life is a buffet of possibilities and things you can do. Just don’t put more on your plate than you can eat. I know it’s always encouraged to say “I can do it” and never back down. But, conversely, say “I can’t do it.” Back down occasionally when it’s too much for you to handle. Certainly, you may think that it’s a weak thing to say you can’t do something, but that’s only due to your brainwashed beliefs that you must stretch beyond your means. Look, there are things that, put bluntly, just aren’t freaking possible. You may not have the resources, time, or energy to achieve them. But recognizing that, will allow you to invest the resources, energy, and time you do have to do the things you can do, instead of on something you simply can’t. Knowing your limitations and being able to say “I can’t do it” is mature. It’s practical. It takes more strength to know your weaknesses than it does to pretend you don’t have any. Now indeed, there is a fine line between legitimately knowing your limits and limiting yourself. While the whole point I’ve been making here is that you don’t want to overestimate what you can do, in the same vein, you don’t want to underestimate what you can do either. It’s a bit of a balancing act. Yes, you have a limit. Yes, there are things you can’t do. But no, you shouldn’t let that discourage you from even trying. You have to reach your limit before you know what it is. You have to eat enough to know when you’re full. Don’t starve yourself just because there’s the possibility you may overeat. In other words, don’t let the fact that you have your limits prevent you from making any sort of attempt to make your goal happen. Besides, you can always eat your meal one bite at a time. You can always accomplish your goal one step at a time, leading us to our next point...  Slow it Down Ya know, there’s this idea that you either “make it or break it.” That you gotta go NO HOLDS BARRED when it comes to goal achieving. Do it or get out. You either go ALL THE WAY...or go home. But man I tell you, there are steps in between your destination of “all the way” and home, where you started. There’s space between the start and finish line. Part of the reason we feel “too busy” is because we’re attempting to accomplish BIG things in one shot. You’re overworking your body and overclocking your mind. You’re rushing to get it done NOW and not wait ‘til later when you’re ready. In order to stop being so busy, you have to halt your own tendency to want to get it all done right away. Accept that things take time. Be patient with yourself and your own ability to do things. Take the mindset of a true procrastin8r and say “eventually” rather than NOW. Don’t bite off a bit more than you can chew. You can do everything slowly, one step at a time, even everyday tasks. Take for example, doing the dishes. You don’t have to wash that whole pile in your sink. Just do a plate or two. And as for cleaning your room, break it up into sections. You can apply the same principle to pretty much any goal. You see, you ain’t gotta do shit all in one go. Do it slow n’ steady. It wins the race.  Outsource your workload There’s this idea that you gotta be a Jack of Trades, a self-made man, or otherwise a goddamn hero. But man, it’s okay to delegate, to say to someone “hey, you do this.” Ya ain’t gotta be the sole warrior. Find people to do work for you. That’s laziness in a nutshell. That’s leadership in a nutshell. Leadership is laziness. In fact, guys like Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos, these multi-billionaires aren’t the ones working late night at the factory or warehouse. They aren’t the ones schlepping odd hours and doing the heavy lifting. No. They’re sittin back, in their yachts, pouring a glass of fancy champagne, while their employees do the grunt work for them. Outsource your work, the big “O” in C.O.U.C.H. Don’t make your life a big DIY project. Get other people to give you a helping hand. That’ll most certainly make you a lot less busy. It’s okay to ask for help. We’re led to believe that’s the weak thing to do, that it makes you a wuss if you can’t handle everything yourself and need to rely on someone else. We’re human. We’re social creatures. We do things collaboratively as a tribe. So get your tribe together and get them to help you tackle a tough task. If a rock is too heavy to lift, find someone that’ll help you lift it. That’s a metaphor. In other words, if you’re experiencing a heavy burden, whether it's stress or emotional turmoil or flat out exhaustion, don’t hesitate to reach out to someone and ask if they have your back. Maybe you need someone to watch your dog while you take a much needed vacation. Maybe you need someone to do some yard work because you recently got injured. Point is, there are certain situations where you’re not only going to want help, but you’re going to need it. If they say no, when you explain to them what you’re going through and how much you would appreciate their help, well then I suppose asking can at least get you to identify who truly cares about you and who’s just along for the ride. (To clarify, them saying "no" is acceptable, just as long as it's not consistent, especially if you offer them favors) Now of course, you don’t want to become too reliant on others either. You do need some independence, but there is a fine line between being independent and being alone. You’re not alone, or at least, you don’t have to be. Don’t push others away because you’re too afraid to even ask for help. You don’t have to play single player mode here. It’s a multiplayer co-op mission. It goes hand and hand too that when someone needs help, be willing to offer a hand, within reason of course -- there’s another fine line between being helpful and being a door mat, which leads us to the next point.  Say “No” It’s a word you have to get into the habit of saying. You want to be able to say no to MOST things. You may find yourself saying YES to a lot, and that’s a vital factor in determining just how “busy” you are. The more you say YES, the busier you become, and the more you say NO, well, you’ll just be less busy. You shouldn’t people please. You shouldn’t agree to anything and everything just to make others, especially, ESPECIALLY, if they refuse to reciprocate the same level of helpfulness or agree-ability. The amount of times you say YES to a person should be equal or less than the amount of times they say YES to you, never more. Just because someone asks something of you, doesn’t mean it pouts you under any sort of obligation to say YES. If you don’t have the resources, time, or energy to do it, then say NO. If you simply don’t want to do it, then say NO. If you really would rather not deal with it at all, then say NO. ‘ NO gives you the power to prevent a lot of “busyness” from piling up in your life, so if you want less things to do, say NO more often. At that, you don't need any sort of excuse or explanation. Just say "no".  Fully Embrace Leisure Ah, good ole Leisure, the big “L” in L.A.Z.Y. You know often times, we multi-task during our free time. Rarely do we actually give ourselves real leisure. We’re doing things while we’re supposed to be resting, while we’re supposed to be taking our mind off things, while we’re supposed to be NOT busy. We’ll be answering e-mails and phone calls while on vacation, paying bills online while watching Netflix, and preparing PowerPoint presentations while browsing Reddit. We’re so busy being busy that we don’t take the time to turn off our busyness. You must put aside things you “have to” do in order to do things you “want to” do. Be lazy. Kick up your feet. Totally and completely relax. Really, man. You’re not relaxing enough. You’re stressing yourself out over a million things that must get done and aren’t taking the time to just chill. You don’t have to always be doing something. As a matter of fact, I encourage you to do nothing. Don’t do anything. Become your inner-sloth Genuinely put aside all the things that keep you busy and be in your leisure, be in your lazy. You’ll find life to be, a lot more enjoyable to say the least, and that’s because you’re, well actually living it.  Focus on achieving, not doing Quality over quantity. It’s better to do a few things well than it is to do a shoddy job at a plethora of things. Minimize effort and maximize results -- that’s what laziness is at its core. Assure the efforts you put into something result into something worthwhile. Be LAZY! Don’t exert yourself more than you have to. Again, limit yourself on what you do. Do a little bit. Do just enough. When you do actually get off your lazy ass, make the effort actually worth it. Every single task you undertake should be geared towards some type of achievement, or at the very least some type of (slow n’ steady) step towards an achievement. Never should you exert effort just for the mere dear sake of exerting effort. The effort you invest should bring results (or progress towards results for that matter.) And let me tell you, “being busy” is not an achievement or any sort of result. Getting shit done is. You can wait ‘til last minute, just as long as shit gets done. No sense working tirelessly for hours upon hours to achieve jack diddly squat. Heck, you’re better off doing nothing than spending time doing something that doesn’t lead you anywhere. Make your effort count is what I’m saying. If you’re gonna get out of bed, which you know as a procrastin8r is hard enough to do, then make it actually worth it to do so.  Saying you’re busy is really saying you can’t Procrastinate with Purpose.
Look, if you’re oh so busy all the time, you can’t prioritize. Point blank. Face it, you’re really not THAT busy. I mean you may be kind of busy, but c’mon now, to the point where you’re putting off things you enjoy? To the point where you’re avoiding family and friends because of all this busyness? You know you’re not that busy, you just didn’t get done what needs to get done. I mean you got some things done, but you didn’t get done the essentials, and that’s what’s making you so quote on quote “busy”. Prioritize. Get the essentials done first. Then go after the itty bitty shit, if you even have the energy or the time. Look, Mr. Busy Beaver, you don’t know how to procrastinate properly. Procrastinating is the heart of time management. It’s being able to prioritize and know which things to put off…’til later. By procrastinating one thing, you are in turn, choosing to do something immediately. If you’re too busy, then what you’re really doing is procrastinating the wrong things. You must learn to procrastinate the right things. “A good man will not waste himself upon mean and discreditable work or be busy merely for the sake of being busy.” - Seneca Take it easy, N8 Troubles come. It’s inevitable. That’s sort of one of the “perks” you get in life. You get to experience some bad shit. Woo hoo!
Okay, clearly, troubles aren’t necessarily a great thing you want to celebrate about. But it ain’t that bad either. No sense worrying about it anyway. Worrying is not the lazy way at all. Worrying is extra mental and emotional effort. And extra effort, nah, not something you want to deal with as a procrastin8r. I mean, I’ve said it before, clear cut: “Don’t worry.” . I never said “Don’t have any trouble”, though. That would be impossible. You can’t avoid having any troubles in your life, but you can decide not to let it bother you. You can decide not to worry about it. And what is worrying? Well, it’s ruminating over bad feelings over and over, it’s beating yourself up about how miserable of a situation you find yourself in, it’s,put plain n’ simple: making your troubles more troublesome. And at the end of the day, getting worked up is nothing but creating more “work” for you to do, so don’t do that. Alright so you know what you “don’t” want to do, but what do you actually DO about these troubles? Well first of all, you must realize this. Realize that while troubles do come, they also go. This too shall pass. And there’s no sense in getting caught up in it perpetually, worrying yourself to death before whatever you’re worried about kills you. That said, no matter what situation you find yourself in, the best course of action to take, or perhaps better stated the best course of “inaction” to take is to quite simply relax. Relax. That’s all you have to do. When you’re feeling stressed out, when you’re mad or upset, when shit hits the fan and you’re on the verge of a panic attack….relax. Perhaps easier said than done though, right?. After all, it’s hard to ignore the agonizing pain you feel when something heavy hits ya. But I want to clarify and say I’m not telling you to ignore the pain or write it off like it's nothing. It is something, but it’s not enough of something to rile you up and make you lose focus. Relaxing is about staying Cool, Calm, and Laid Back at all times DESPITE whatever sort of shit hits the fan. It’s more of a mental framework and less of something you perform. Today, we’re gonna take a look at how to relax and why you should relax, and without further ado, let’s dive...right into it! “Relaxation” is a state of mind, not something you do This is the first point we’ll cover right off the bat. You may think that in order to relax you must DO something. And while there are things you can do to sort of “trigger” a state of relaxation, like breathing deeply or stretching, the very act of doing these things is not “relaxing” itself. You achieve relaxation, as a state of mind, by the deep breathing or the taking of the nap or whatever soothing type activity you choose, but “relaxing” itself is more about the thought process and feeling you get, rather than the activity that gets you to feel it. Certainly, there are plenty of “relaxing” activities you can do, and they are relaxing in the sense that they hold the ability to allow you to relax. You may play a hobby or lie on the hammock and feel ‘relaxed”, but doing these sorts of things is not the action of “relaxing.” Relaxing is simply feeling at ease, it’s embracing an inner-peace. It’s a feeling that “It’s all good.” To relax is not so much to do a blissful activity, but to feel bliss in the very moment, whatever the surroundings or circumstances are. The reason why it’s important to understand that relaxing is a feeling instead of an action is because eventually you want to be able to achieve that sort of feeling, without relying on some sort of external cue to get there. You can feel just as relaxed standing on stage in front of a large audience at a public speaking event as you do while lying on the beach sipping margaritas. You can feel just as relaxed in a stop dead traffic jam as you do lying in your couch at home in your PJs watching Netflix. You can feel just as relaxed going out on a date with someone new as you do sitting by the campfire roasting s’mores. You get the gist. Basically, no matter what’s happening on the outside, even if things are frustrating, scary, or otherwise uncomfortable, you still feel relaxed on the inside. You have to remember, you can’t control external events and happenings; you can only control what happens in your own head. Although the outside world may not be in the least bit “relaxing”, you can be relaxing on the inside world. Now before you are able to “just relax” inside, despite how terrible things are on the outside, you have to become familiar with that feeling of relaxation. After all, you can’t achieve feeling a certain way if you’re not custom to what it's like to even feel it in the first place. I mean, maybe you’re so used to feeling stressed all the time that it’s almost like you completely dumped out any and all feelings of relaxation. Well, let’s take a look at how to get that feeling back next. Do Things That Relax You When shit happens, when you’re hit with stress, you may feel the constant pressure to go about and be busy - to participate in activities like work or household chores, which only induce even more stress. Look man, don’t pressure yourself to do anything, especially when you’re undergoing stress. If you’re feeling sick, with a high fever, sore throat, runny nose, and cough, you stay in bed to recover. You relax yourself physically to rejuvenate your body. Well, the same theory applies to when you’re feeling stressed. You relax yourself mentally to rejuvenate your mind. Leisure (the big L in L.A.Z.Y) is an important thing to add to your life. Contrary to popular belief, it’s 100% completely okay to take a break once in a while. It's acceptable to lie in bed not only when you’re physically exhausted but mentally and emotionally as well. So if you want to remember the feeling of relaxing, stop trying to fuss about with a million things on your to-do list. Instead, find time to…relax (or better stated, do something that relaxes you). Call in “sick." You’re “sick” of work. Sick n’ tired of all the stress. You need a day off. Heck, even God took a day off when he created the universe. I’m not religious, yet alone a supreme omnipotent being, but hey, if the supposed creator of everything can take a day off, so can you. Take time to actually do something that soothes you, that creates an aura of tranquility, and a feeling of inner-peace. Put aside your chores and “have-tos” and fully and completely embrace your laziness. That’s right, be lazy. Kick off your shoes and lie on the couch, break out the popcorn and turn on some old Saturday morning cartoons. That’s just a suggestion, but what I’m getting at here is to do something that removes the hassle, that removes the stress, do something that calms you down. I mean in this productivity pushing society, you’re constantly hyping yourself up, moving from one task to another, in between unpredictable stressful events like lost keys, annoying sales calls, and a global pandemic. You gotta take time to do something that doesn’t cause frustration or panic or any sort of discomfort. Maybe that’s fishing out on a boat, maybe that’s strumming your six string, maybe that’s heck I don’t know painting your nails or some shit. Find a hobby or activity that makes you feel...okay, for once, as if outside worries seemingly dissipate. You’ll find when you’re doing the thing you enjoy, that all your woes and sorrows disappear. You’ll find peace of mind. It is that feeling of peace you must seek after, that you must familiarize yourself with. When I was a kid, at eleven years old, our dog died and needless to say, I along with my little sisters were completely devastated. I remember tears pouring out of our eyes as we mourned the loss of not just a pet, but a member of the family. My mom said to us “Why don’t you do something fun to take your mind off things?” Take my mind off things? How could I ? My best friend was gone. She must have saw the lack of inspiration to do something else in my face, so in her attempts to comfort me further, my mother looked at me and said “Just for a little while.” Something about the way she said it,take my mind off of it, just for a little while, I realized that I was putting my mind ON the thing that was upsetting me. I was so fixated on how terrible it was and how awful it made me feel to come home to a dead dog. I needed to do something to take my mind off the bad and put it ON the good in life,. I needed to relax, not forget about my dog, not ignore the fact that she was gone, but move my mind, for a little while, temporarily, some place else. And the best way to do that was to do something “fun”. So...I grabbed my GameBoy Advanced and booted up a copy of Castlevania: Circle of the Moon, and as I was whipping monsters through Dracula’s catacombs, the woes and worries I was going through earlier that night, didn’t faze me at all. I felt completely okay, despite what had just happened. I felt...fine. Certainly, I wasn’t the happiest and chipper eleven year old right after my dog died, but as I played my handheld, I wasn’t the saddest either. I hope that little anecdote can illustrate that doing something you enjoy, even in the most traumatic of moments, can help you relax. And what you’ll find is that to relax is to find balance within yourself, it’s to bring yourself back to center. You’re not so far gone in misery nor are you lost in bliss; you’re balanced in a way that keeps you calm and able to cope with the current set of circumstances. Try it for yourself. The next time something traumatic or stressful happens, instead of getting upset or making a huge fuss about it “take your mind off of it” and “do something fun.” You’ll find that you had it in you not to worry all along. You just needed a fun activity to lead you there. Eventually, the activity will be optional and you’ll be able to pull up that relaxed state of balance and peace on cue. Now that you understand how important it is to adopt the habit of doing an activity you enjoy in order to familiarize yourself with the feeling of relaxation, let’s take a look at some more subtle ways to bring relaxation to surface. Breathe Deep and Yawn If you’re stuck in traffic and the activity that relaxes you is jetskiing, for example, you can’t exactly pull over and walk to the nearest ocean. There may be situations where you simply can’t do that relaxing activity that brings you inner-peace. So, what you can do though is something a bit more subtle. This way, you can trigger your brain into a relaxed state, without relying on performing any sort of elaborate hobby or activity. It’s quite simple too: Breathe deeply and let out a big Yawn (the “Y” in L.A.Z.Y.] Yawning cools your head, literally. It decreases the temperature in your brain. It’s basically a natural way to calm down, to relax yourself and feel at ease. Now of course the ultimate goal is to just sort of “think” yourself into feeling relaxed, but breathing deeply and yawning is an effective yet subtle way to trigger yourself into the habit of doing that. You can also try what’s called EFT “tapping”, which a lot of people absolutely swear by. It’s a lot less subtle than a deep breath or yawn though because you’re physically tapping all over your body. It looks a little weird, but hey, it works. I prefer functionality over appearance, in general, quite personally, so if tappy mctapping can get me to relax, then sure why not? Just in case it’s winter and you can’t pull out the jetski or the Internet’s down and you can’t play online games, EFT tapping can be a great way to activate your brain’s “relaxation mode” when doing your relaxing hobby isn’t available. Now, EFT tapping is probably a whole other topic for a whole other day, but briefly here, you basically “tap” several nerve points on your body and give yourself positive affirmations like “I feel calm and relaxed” as you’re tapping away. So far we’ve dived into what relaxing is and how to go about achieving this relaxing state of mind, so before we wrap up, let’s take a look at some of the benefits of relaxing, which can hopefully encourage you to, ya know, relax, man. Think more clearly There’s a lot of shit in your head. We’ll call it “fog”. When there’s fog outside, you can’t see clearly. Your vision is limited. You can only see within a certain distance. Likewise, this “fog” in your head prevents you from seeing things clearly. You can only focus on what’s right in front of you and not see out in the distance. Your entire perspective is skewed. Relaxing clears away this fog and gets you to see the big picture. It allows you to perceive more than the shit right in front of you and look beyond it. Have a healthier body and happier mind. Worrying too much, that is, giving into stress, can have some serious side effects, like heart failure, high blood pressure, and insomnia -- to name just a few. Likewise, under stress, you’re constantly tensing up your muscles and this leads to chronic pain. People with high stress levels are more likely to have some sort of mental illness, including depression and dementia. The symptoms only get worse over time, because you begin to worry about having this major physical and/or mental health issue, which only further increases your stress levels. You’ll die to stress before whatever health problem you have would kill you. Stress is also linked to forgetfulness and irritability. So unless you want to grow up to be a grouchy curmudgeon that can’t remember a damn thing, you gotta relax, man. It’s amazing how much the mind effects the body. If you feel okay inside, then you’ll be okay on the outside. If you feel bad on the inside, by worrying all the time, then your body will follow suit and begin to break down. Breaking down on the inside will break you down on the outside too. On the contrary, if your outside world breaks down, if there’s a total collapse, you can remain strong, stoic, and relaxed on the inside. The world can’t break you, but you can break yourself. Realize the power you have in being able to reach a relaxed state of mind. Think about it, if ruminating over bad thoughts and feelings, stressing out, can have such a negative impact on your body and lead to a slew of illnesses, imagine what positive thoughts can do. They can make you stronger, build you up. I mean either way, I suppose the end is the same. Death is inevitable. But in your last moments, you can either think to yourself “I was worried the whole time” or “I enjoyed the ride while it lasted.” Take it easy, N8 We live in a very success-driven culture that encourages working hard for the sake of working hard and doing things just to “do it.” It’s believed you must be a Jack of Trades, able to tackle multiple tasks at once in order to amount to anything.
HR departments expect some form of “multi-task skill” to be written on every single resume. Bosses will yell at you that you aren’t doing enough if you aren’t bouncing around and juggling a series of over a dozen different tasks all at once. There’s an immense amount of pressure to not just perform well, but to perform a lot - to do as much as humanly possible and then some. But, fellow procrastin8r I want to run you by an idea that doing a lot simultaneously is not very effective, despite the popular belief. It’s actually a waste of energy to multi-task. It’s better to be lazy and put off most things ‘til later and focus on just one thing right now than to force yourself to do an incredible amount right away. I mean, heck, you can push to fill your to-do list, you can attempt to squeeze as many errands as you can in your schedule, you can quite frankly work your freaking ass off, but none of that really matters if at the end of the day you aren’t really productive and not to mention are left feeling exhausted both physically and mentally. In a frivolous attempt to do everything you wind up doing nothing. You deplete yourself of energy and end up accomplishing diddly squat in your efforts to achieve many grand feats. Don’t exert yourself to do everything, just do something, do a little bit, do just enough, but do that something with focus. Don’t stretch yourself thin over a wide range of things, rather pinpoint on a small and narrow target. Focus your energy and efforts towards a very small target and don’t shoot sporadically. See, there’s a difference between productivity and busy work. There’s this idea in society that you must always be busy. Move around. Do this. Do that. Do something. Be busy for the sake of being busy. But man, it’s okay to just relax once in a while, to just chill from time to time. It’s okay to not be that busy. There’s no need to strain yourself and look busy just because that’s what society expects of you. Besides, I bet not many of these quote on quote “busy” people really get much done, ironically. Sure, they work a lot but they’re really too “busy” to actually make things happen. They’re mind is all over the place and they wind up losing track of the goal they wanted to get in the first place. They’re distracted easily and are quickly tempted to start another project or head off on some side quest, completely negating the main storyline quest, or goal for that matter. What they lack is focus. Focus, in short, is the ability to hone in on one or a few things. Now, the procrastin8r doesn’t do much, but when he does actually get off the couch to do something, it’s done with complete and utter focus. After all, no sense in exerting more effort than necessary. Focus is important when it comes to achieving your goals, and as you’ll soon learn, a vital attribute of a true lazy man. In fact, rather than aim to be busy, you should instead aim to be productive. Only work as much as you absolutely have to. Learn to prioritize, that is, focus on what’s important, over what makes you look busy. And prioritizing comes down to your ability to procrastinate, and know which things to put off ‘til later. By procrastinating one thing, you are in turn choosing to do something else right now. You must learn to procrastinate with purpose and focus on doing those important things now, while putting off the not so important things for later. Indeed, you can ignore most of your to-do list, write it off as unimportant, and focus on the few things that actually freaking matter. There’s very little that needs to be done immediately, and the things that do, well, you just gotta focus on them. Today, we’re going to focus on focusing and without further ado let’s dive...right into it! Not everything needs urgency to get done One of the things that hinders our ability to focus is that we see our to-do list only as a list of things that must be done, just that, without any sort of order or prioritization. There’s only one level of priority: GET IT DONE! With that sort of mindset, we become overwhelmed by the sheer amount of shit that we must complete. If we have this sort of black or white (do it or don’t do it) mode of thinking, you have no way of differentiating between what’s actually important and what’s something that would be nice to have not done, but not quite essential. In order to gain more focus, you have to be willing to take an honest look at your to-do list and put aside things that don’t matter very much (procrastinate on them), so you can put the time and effort into those things that do. You can’t give everything you have to do the same level of importance. You have to be selective about your to-do list. Don’t look at your to do list saying “I have to do this and this and this…” Instead, give each task a number mark 1-10, 1 being not very important and 10 being top priority. Then, anything below maybe a seven, just say the classic procrastin8r line “I’’ll do it tomorrow.” Realistically, not everything you have to do requires such utter urgency to get it done immediately. Stop pressuring yourself to do it all, all at once, and instead get done only the most important tasks. The rest can be done...later. Say NO to MOST things Speaking of being selective, one important note here is that ya gotta stop being a YES man. You’ve got to select what you say “Yes” to very carefully. We’ve adapted this sort of habit of enthusiastically agreeing to do things without hesitation, nodding our heads and saying “Sign me up!” the minute something is asked of us. After all, saying yes to a bunch of things makes us look busy and looking busy is cool in society, it’s the bees knees. Look, you’ve got to stop doing things to people please or otherwise gain a bit of social approval. You’ve got to start doing things that YOU, yourself, find to be important, not what others expect of you. You gotta stop saying “Yes, I’ll do that today” and start saying “No, I’ll do that tomorrow” more often. Embrace your inner sloth, man. “No” is an important word to add to your vocabulary, one you’ve probably found yourself rarely saying if at all. It takes courage to say “no”. It takes confidence. Weak people can’t say no. They’re always agreeing and saying yes to anything and everything. They value approval over their own self dignity, inner-peace, and sanity. “No” is a power word, and when you use it, and you’re firm about it, people will respect you. Now you may not make them happy that you’re denying their request, but respect is better to earn that adoration. Now, of course, you’re going to have to say YES to some things. Fact of the matter is, you can’t say NO to everything either. By saying NO to one thing, you are in turn saying YES to another. In other words, by choosing what NOT to focus on, you are choosing what TO focus on. Don’t be afraid to use the word NO, and if you’re using it right, quite frankly, you’ll be using it a lot. The right way to use NO is to focus on the one thing that you say YES to and say NO to everything else. Measure Results Now of course, what laziness is and what laziness does is minimize effort and maximize results. Thing is, you won’t be able to see said results if you aren’t keeping track of them. You have to in some fashion see your progress being made, as it allows you to focus on moving forward, instead of remaining stagnant. Face it, if you don’t think you’re going anywhere, then you won’t feel inspired very much to continue even trying. You have to notice each slow n’ steady step you take. Now, I know it might not necessarily be under your current motivation to keep a journal or achievement diary. Fortunately for you, there are plenty of apps to help you gamify that whole process, which we covered in an earlier episode on the podcast. You can basically turn productivity into an IRL RPG and “level up” your real life skills. However you go about doing it though, record how far you’ve come -- that will allow you to focus on going even further. See the slow n’ steady progress, not just the end result Bouncing off that last point, oftentimes we can become so fixated with the final result that we fail to see what we’ve already accomplished along the way towards that goal. Success takes time. It doesn’t happen quickly. It happens...eventually, the favorite word of a procrastin8r. It’s easy to lose focus on a goal when you’re so attentive towards the finish line and not the race itself. If all you’re thinking about is your goal weight, your goal wealth, your goal whatever, then you’e going to constantly feel like a failure because fact of the matter is you just aren’t quite there yet. You’re a failure if you compare where you’re at to where you want to be, but you’re a success if you compare where you’re at to where you began. Now, to clarify, I’m not saying don’t think about your goal at all.It’s indeed important to keep your goal in mind, to look forward to the end result. I’m saying don’t let the fact that you haven’t met your end goal yet wear you down. You’re not there...yet. But will be eventually. Don’t just look at how far away your goal is. Look too at just how far you came since you started. And remember, the progress you’ve made so far (or lack thereof) does not define who you are, rather it tells you where you are at. View your goals as more of a long timeline with multiple ticks along the way, not just a straight line form Point A to Point B. Think small and simple. Break down big complex goals into chunks If you make a big goal like write a novel or start a podcast or record an original song, then you’re going to be quite overwhelmed with the amount of intricacies involved with such a goal. It’ll sit on your to-do list, never checked off because it just hasn’t gotten done yet. Either you haven’t even started it or you have but haven’t completed it. Either way, it seems nearly impossible to check off your to-do list. Of course if you haven’t started that big goal, it’s probably because you’ve made it too enormous for yourself, and the sheer amount of stress you feel when you even think about it is enough to sabotage any motivation you might have had that day. You don’t want to make big ass goals. Make tiny ones, tiny little goals that are easily achievable. Take it easy with your goals, man. Using the novel example, you could make the goal “Write one chapter as a first draft.” See? Nice and simple. Now you don’t feel so overwhelmed to write an entire book, complete final draft, fully edited and published all in one go. You completed a tiny goal (writing a rough drafft of single chapter) that took a chunk out of a big goal (writing a full novel) You take that big goal and you chunk it down into bits. There’s an amusing little anecdote that’s relevant here and it goes “How do you eat a whole elephant? One bite at a time.” It’s kind of a corny little joke, but it gets the point across: even the most massive tasks can be done eventually if you break it down into small consumable “bites”. Procrastinate with Purpose Part of knowing how to focus is also knowing how and when to procrastinate. Procrastination is often seen as the bane of all productivity, but in reality, procrastination is the heart of time management. Think about it, by scheduling to do one thing in your day, you are, in turn, procrastinating another. Fact of the matter is, you are always procrastinating on something. You can procrastinate doing your homework to play video games or vice versa. You can procrastinate brushing your teeth to watch one more episode on Netflix or vice versa. You are always choosing something to put off ‘til later. If you can procrastinate with purpose, then you can effectively manage your time. Of course, procrastination is not to be confused with Impulsive Idleness. Impulsive Idleness is being completely spontaneous with your time. It’s giving into your laziness in an uncontrolled manner. Procrastination is deliberately deciding what to put off ‘til later. Focus on what you want to do and procrastinate the rest. Don’t be Reactive. Remain Unfazed. You’ve gotta stay cool, calm, and laid back at all times. Emotions can impact us. And while it’s important to be aware of your emotions, there’s a fine line between having emotional awareness and getting emotional. Getting emotional means you give into your emotions and let them control you. Having emotional awareness means you listen to your emotions but don’t let them drive you into making irrational decisions. Know what your emotions are telling you, but don’t allow them to be the final judge in your decision-making process. Just like a kid screaming in the backseat, don’t let them take the wheel! In order to stay focused, you have to look at your feelings from an above perspective. Don’t get caught up in them. Being unfazed means you're not shaken easily by any sort of excitement or sadness or anger. Instead, you’re just like “whatever, man”. You must be able to examine your thoughts and feelings without growing too attached to them. Maybe you have a goal of building a healthy long-lasting relationship, but wind up screaming at your partner because you feel angry and are thinking about how s/he hurt you. Maybe you have the goal of losing weight but go ahead and splurge on pigs in a blanket because you feel excited at a party. You get the idea. Emotions can make you lose focus easily if you’re not careful about them. And that’s the key - careful. Do care for your emotions. Just don’t let them choose what you do. Letting your emotions take over is being reactive. You’re impulsively acting on your fee fees. A procrastin8r is never reactive. A procrastin8r is relaxing. Get plenty of Rest Ah, of course,the greatest talent of a procrastin8r - resting. But seriously, you can’t focus if you’re tired physically, mentally, and/or emotionally. Exhaustion is the worst distraction. You can’t ignore it. It doesn’t go away, well, at least not until you actually lie down for a bit. Truly, embrace your inner-sloth and snooze until you feel rejuvenated. Don’t let any sort of fatigue make you lose focus. And hey, you know what, if you want to see your dreams, then just go to sleep. Do Less with More Focus The overall point here I’m trying to make is that contrary to popular belief, success comes not from doing more, but from doing less with more focus. Be a minimalist. Minimize the amount of “things” you do. Be a procrastin8r. Do just enough. Fixate yourself on the goals and principles that actually matter to you personally and don’t go around making yourself busy just to appease others (or have the image of always appearing busy for that matter). Be willing to put off unimportant things ‘til later. Find your one goal you say YES to and then say NO to everything else. Break down that big goal into nice bite-sized snacks, then move forward with it slow n’ steady, watching how far you go. And if you need time to think about what that goal even is and where you want to be headed, well, go ahead and sleep on it. Take it easy, N8 |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives
March 2022
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