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L.A.Z.Y. Mindset: Aloofness

8/12/2020

The L.A.Z.Y. Mindset. It’s the mental framework of a professional sloth. That’s right: a PRO-crastinator! It helps you achieve success in your business, relationships, and personal life using as little effort as possible

Of course, there are many books and blogs written that cover such information. No doubt, I’m not the first person to write about such a topic. You could go ahead and Google “how to be successful the easy way” or similar terms.

But what you’ll find is an overload of information. It can be confusing and overwhelming. You’ll find it doesn’t quite make it seem so simple after all -- just the pure amount of details you’ll be pouring over and trying to organize in your head can be quite staggering.

None of the information out there really condenses “how to be successful” for the lazy man in such a way that makes it...actually simple. It’s as if you need to work hard to figure out how to NOT work hard. Ridiculous.

We, as procrastinators, don’t want to work hard, for anything, yet alone figuring out how to do shit. All we want is simple, easy to follow information. The less effort required, the better.

So that is my goal -- to provide you with easy, no bullshit or fluff info that will help you sleep your way to success.

In saying that, we use an acronym because, well, acronyms make it easy to memorize large amounts of information. Rather than working hard to try and study specifics, we simply look at things from a broad perspective and see everything deep inside. In other words, you’ll be able to remember the details of an entire module just by thinking of the letter that it coordinates with.

You put loads of information into separate “containers”, separate modules, that is, the letters of the acronyms, and can easily access that information for later.

You’re not thinking of all these “if/then” scenarios or calculating accurate steps to take.You simply remember to be LAZY and know the ways to think, act, and speak in any given situation. See it’s not about thinking or working hard, it’s about thinking and working smart. Lazy is smart. It’s the act of minimizing effort and maximizing results. Lazy people find easy way to do things.

LAZY is a way of life. It’s a system, a mindset. The word itself, “LAZY” denotes the overall theme or underlying principle of each step in the module. While each letter module of course has its own set of principles, the foundation of being “LAZY” helps you understand those particulars. In trying to attain Leisure, for example, you are also trying to be Lazy. In trying to be Aloof, you, likewise, are trying to be Lazy and so on and so forth.

LAZY is the dough of the pizza and each specific letter is the different toppings. We basically have a recipe for Cowbunga success.
If you want to understand the basics of this mindset, grab your FREE copy of the e-book. That right there is enough information and all you need.

This article is designed to give you further insight and help you really grasp what it means to be LAZY.

A few weeks back, we took a deep dive into the first module, Leisure, detailing why it’s important to rejuvenate yourself and how to actually go about doing it.

Now, continuing our deep-dive into the LAZY Mindset, we’re gonna take a look at the second module: Aloofness.

You may hear that word and think it’s something bad. You know, there’s this idea that being aloof means you have to be an asshole. Look, you don’t have to be an asshole, at least not a complete asshole. You just have to...not care.

And I don’t mean don’t care at all. That would be a complete asshole. I just mean don’t care about bullshit. Care about things that actually matter and remain unfazed by drama or crisis.

I mean, the asshole has attractive qualities. It’s why the girls date him and he always seems to get his way. What is it about him that draws people in?

Well, for one, He doesn’t give a fuck. He’s aloof. Nothing gets on his nerves or brings him down. Heck, people even call him an asshole and he just doesn’t seem to give a little bit of a fuck about it.

While the asshole is not exactly a role model, he does have some redeeming qualities about him. He does what he wants and doesn’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks or says. That’s admirable, honestly.

But you can’t be so selfish (of an asshole) that you don’t even consider how your words and actions affect other people. On the contrary, people are often too concerned about how what they do affects others, the typical “people pleaser”

The key is to be somewhat of an asshole. Never go full asshole. Or full people pleaser for that matter. That’s like going full retard. Balance is what you want.

Being Aloof means not giving a fuck

Giving a fuck means you put time, money, and energy in it -- those are the ways you can “give a fuck”. In life, there are a limited amount of fucks you can give.

It’s not that you don’t give a fuck about anything. You have to give a fuck about something. It’s that you give a fuck about a limited amount of things and those in which are actually important to YOU, not other people.

It’s a Honey Badger Don't Care attitude, where you're focused on getting what you want and “don’t care” about approval or recognition.

You are Aloof to expectations and obligations and are instead key lined focused on desire.

To be Aloof is to be calm and stoic

You do not get overly eager or excited, nor do you get overly upset. Emotions remain in control. You may not control what happens or how you feel, but you do control your reaction to it.

You are steady in your reactions to things, no matter how hectic, never jolting into an emotional outburst because you feel that way. You take the logical approach towards issues and rationally decide the best path to take. You recognize your emotions and what they’re telling you, but don’t allow them to overcome you. You stay aloof to their influence. You procrastinate a decision in order to think of the best way to handle things, rather than letting fiery emotions explode and cause more chaos than the initial dilemma even entailed.

You have a laid-back attitude towards whatever life throws at you, no matter how much it sucks, and just go with the flow, taking waves as they come, completely aloof to the rapids as you stay balanced and centered.

Aloofness is solitude
You are comfortable being in your own presence and don’t need other people to feel fulfilled and worthy. You feel fulfilled and worthy on your own (and that coincidentally attracts high quality people in your life)

You’re not approval-seeking or any sort of attention whore. You couldn’t care less what other people expect of you.You do your own thing, whether you’re joined by another company or not.

You are your own best friend, offering yourself reassurance in times of struggle and encouragement in times of triumph. You take time to mellow out alone and reflect on who you are and why you do the things you do. You are comfortable in your own skin, comfortable in your own bed.

You can’t love anyone else until you truly love yourself, and you love yourself. You’re damn awesome. You have to believe that.

Accept your flaws. Flaunt your strengths. Be aloof to any sort of social expectations and just be you.

Aloofness is a carefree attitude

Carefree doesn’t mean you don’t care at all. It means you care about important shit, not trivial stresses that come about in everyday life. You don’t worry. Period.

You don’t worry about what you did wrong, what could go wrong soon. You may think about it. You may consider it. Briefly. But you don’t ruminate over it, nonstop. You don’t let it consume your thoughts. You don’t ...worry about a thing.

The past is the past and the future is unwritten. You live fully and completely in the present, carefree and aloof to any other part of the timeline.

You follow the Rip Van Winkle rule. If what you’re worried about won’t matter when you wake up from a nap in 20 years, then don’t spend more than 20 minutes thinking about it.

He who cares least is the one in control. And you must care least.

You aren’t attached to a specific outcome of anything. Whatever happens, happens. You go with the damn flow and let bygones be bygones.

If you fuck up, you don’t feel like a fuck up. You take what you learned with a grain of salt and level up, become better. You see mistakes as something you did, not as a definition of your person. Mistakes are Meh, and that’s the attitude you take.

You feel no pressure to think, act, and behave in a certain way. You are aloof and carefree towards any sort of rules. Rules are just “suggestions” in your book and you use them to your own discretion.

Aloofness is non-commital

You’re not inclined to be deadset on one company or person. You value your own principles over loyalty

I mean, heck you’re here on this blog because you likely want to leave your day job. Doesn’t show much loyalty there. You’re not committed to a job. You’re not committed to your boss. Given the opportunity, you’d quit, if you haven’t already.

And why? Because you want to do your own thing. You want to abide by your own way of life, and that is aloofness.

Have commitment towards principles, ideas, not people.

Be true to yourself and people will want to commit to you, not the other way around. The stronger you abide by your own way, that is, the more aloof you are to anything else but your own beliefs and ideas, then the stronger people will feel compelled to follow your lead.

That’s not to say you are “disloyal” to the point where you cheat on someone or backstab them by doing something ugly. You make your principles clear from the very beginning of the relationship (whether its platonic, romantic, or professional) and don’t let people fuck with you by breaking them.

The goal is not to find someone willing to commit to you. The goal is to find someone willing to commit to your principles. And if they don't, it's no big deal. You’ve got your principles intact and didn’t kiss up and change just to please them.

Have commitment towards a purpose instead of a relationship. It doesn’t have to be a huge passion or anything, just something you like. But have something that has you wake up every day (typically around noon). Have a reason to enjoy your limited time here on this earth. Don’t make someone else your center. Be your own center.

If another person is your reason or something materialistic is, you need to dig deeper and find what it is you actually want. You need a better purpose. A purpose is not an object or person. Those are just...distractions.

Be aloof to distractions.

If you are Aloof, you do your own thing, regardless of judgement
People are gonna judge you. Hard.

Ain’t everybody gonna like you or agree with you. Haters gonna hate. Whatever man. Just kick on back and let ‘em say waht they’re going to say. Shit’s like leaves off a sloth’s back.

Don’t just “act” aloof to it. BE aloof.

Stop giving a fuck about other people’s opinions. They don’t matter. Not a single thing a person says is gonna change your life, unless you let it. Don’t let bullshit get to you, dude.

If people hate on you, it means you’re doing something right. If everybody agrees with you or likes you, either they want something out of you (money, a favor, etc.) or there’s some oversight you’re missing and you’re wrong.

Likewise, if everybody disagrees with you, then they all probably have a point and you ought put your damn Ego to the side for a second to figure what the fuck it is.

Some people are gonna love you. Some people are gonna hate you. You want to achieve that sort of balance between overs and haters. If not everybody is happy with what you’re doing, but some people are, that means there’s something you’re doing right.

The minute you try to please everybody is the minute you please nobody. Don’t be a people-pleaser and remain aloof to how your decisions make you look in the eyes of others. Earlier we talked about how being a little bit of an asshole can be a good thing. Well, be that asshole and let people think that of you.

Remember, every time you say NO to one thing, you are saying YES to another. Choose what you say YES to carefully and don’t feel obligated to say yes just to please someone else, just to tell them what they want to hear and avoid being called an asshole. Be frank about your NO and say it. Mean it.

Truth is, you’re not being the asshole. They are! For expecting you to hold a certain opinion or do something the way they want. But you don’t have to argue that or make that point; don’t actually do that. Instead, let it slide and tell them to hop off.

While Aloof, you do things on your terms

You do whatever you want, whenever you want to do it, and however you decide you’re doing it. You don’t volunteer or participate in activities you hold absolutely no interest in doing, nor do you do it at a time that’s inconvenient for you.

Morning meeting? Nah bro. Not for me. I’m good. Let’s shoot for the late afternoon, early evening instead.

You let people adapt their schedule to yours and don’t arrange your life to meet other people’s schedules. You’re in charge of your own time and don’t allow other people to attempt to take charge of it.

Anything people want from you is merely a suggestion and not some sort of bound obligation. You never feel obligated to do anything. Anything you do do comes from a place of desire.

You are Aloof to the idea that you “should” do something. You don’t should yourself. Gross. You instead “want” something and do it.

You remain mysterious while Aloof

You can’t be such an open book that you’re sharing everything about yourself -- all your inner thoughts and feelings Calm yourself man. That’s some needy ass behavior right there.

You can’t be so open about your feelings that people see right through you.

On the flip side, u don’t want to remain so closed off that people feel like they CAN’T get to know you, but give “just enough” information about yourself that people stay interested.

Ya know like watching a good streaming series and at the end of the episode it leaves a little cliffhanger and you’re left with the words “To be continued…” and you’re like “WHAT!? No, I gotta know what happens next!”

You want to achieve the same type of reaction here. Build up suspense.

Being Aloof means you are uninterested by drama

People gossip. People escalate things emotionally. You’re above that. Your life is a drama free zone.

You don’t participate in shouting matches. You stay calm. You don’t act passive aggressive, because you’re honest and upfront with your principles. You set clear boundaries.

You take the time and let people say their piece but don’t stoop down to their level of getting overwhelmed by their excessively emotional reaction.

You’ll make people think “gee, maybe I am bein a bit over-the top, aren’t I?” because you remain so calm and level headed, aloof, to any sort of drama they try to stir. They’re left with no choice but to take a step back and look at just how immature they’re acting.

You don’t rely on name-calling or bringing up things just to hurt another person. That’s all for non-lazy people who get “worked up” easily. You don’t work at all. You’re lazy.

Instead, you address an issue calmly, clearly, and firmly.

You don’t want to be Cold. Just Aloof

Now when it comes to being aloof, there’s a fine line between being Aloof and being distant/cold.

Being cold means you’re rather ruthless.

You can’t be so uncaring that you become sort of heartless in your approach. You have to allow room for some flexibility.

The idea is to not let other people walk over you,but in the same vein, not to walk all over other people. You want people to respect you, not necessarily fear you.

Be charming. Aloof enough to let people know they shouldn’t fuck with you or try to take advantage of you, but caring enough to show you’re not a complete asshole.

Just abide and do your own thing REGARDLESS.

Regardless of what?

Just regardless. Period.

Regardless of consequences. Regardless of disapproval. Regardless of hate. Regardless of fill in the blank.

Stay Aloof and do whatever. Regardless.

- N8

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You Can't Be Lazy Forever

8/5/2020

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Hey man, shit don’t last forever. But that’s okay. It’s not about making something last, but about making the most of it while it’s here. You just go with the flow]and enjoy the ride on waves while it lasts.

Today’s loss is not tomorrow’s misfortune.

In fact, every time you lose something, you gain something else. “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end” (cue: Semisonic).

But seriously, while nothing holds eternal permanence, the end (of whatever) creates opportunity.

Live in the moment. Experience the pain (of loss). Because that too won’t last forever.

You can’t even be lazy forever. I mean, maybe for the rest of your life but certainly not “forever”. After all, your time on this earth is limited. Just embrace your laziness while you’re here, takin it easy, slow n’ steady, one day at a time.

Today won’t last forever and neither will tomorrow. Enjoy those days while you have it and think to yourself today “I hope this lasts forever” to put yourself in the present and actually LIVE...while you can.

Forever is an interesting word. By its textbook definition it means, literally, “always”. It’s something that will be there endlessly, no matter what. There’s this *idea* that forever is something that sticks around, regardless of changes. But things do change and that causes the thing that was supposed to be “forever” to be put to a stop, despite the fact that “forever”, by its very definition is, well, unstoppable.

In reality, the word seems to mean “until it’s done” more often than not. Forever doesn’t quite encompass the permanence it sets out to be. It is more of an expression of appreciating what’s happening in the given moment, as opposed to any sort of eternal contract. Forever is as fleeting as the moment it takes to say the word.

I mean how often have you been told “I want to be with you forever”, only to watch that person walk away as soon as they felt done or tired with the relationship?

How often have you said "best friends forever" only to never see that person again.

How often have you thought to yourself that you “hope this lasts forever” only to later, in due time, see it fade away?

Forever is a timeline we’re incapable of achieving as human beings. Nothing lasts forever. Everything lasts for just a moment and all comes to an end at some point. Even *life itself* is nothing but a brief moment in time.

You literally can’t do anything or have everything forever because we all gon’ die some day. We are mortal beings, and thus, our very existence cannot and will not last forever. For us to imagine that anything we experience will last “forever” is clear cut delusional. Given the matter of circumstance that our time here is not even forever, then so too is everything else we consciously experience.

Nothing is permanent, nothing is forever. You are NOT guaranteed anything in life, other than the fact that there will be change.

But we use the word “forever” all the time. While it certainly doesn’t mean the definition “by the books” in any means, clearly, it does mean something.

So what does it mean when we say forever?

There has to be some sort of strong sentiment here. I mean, you only say that you hope something will last forever if it actually matters to you (or someone matters to you), not just a little bit, but a lot. “Forever” marks something as vital to us, even if it doesn’t actually, for lack of a better term, last forever.

The expression of “Forever” indicates that you are living fully in the present. It’s a way to say “I appreciate what’s happening right here, right now."

In the moment that you feel something could last forever, you are unbound by time. The past and the future doesn’t matter. After all if you were thinking about the past, then that is a time before the moment you wish to last forever (thus not present). And if you were thinking about the future, you know it will inevitably come to an end, just like all things

Woah man you been on the mary jay dude; this is some deep shit.

Now it may sound depressing to think about how nothing is permanent in your life and could be gone in an instant, but only if you completely miss the point.

It is meant to be an inspiration to appreciate what you have at any given moment. Take nothing for granted. Live in “forever”. The moment you begin to wish every moment will last forever (even though you logically know it won’t) is the moment you begin to truly live.

Forever is the feeling of being alive. That’s what it really is. Every moment you have uttered the words “I wish this would last forever” is a moment you were actually living. You were experiencing what it’s like to be present in your surroundings as well as present in the emotions those surroundings brought to you.

Oftentimes this was a positive experience, a joyous one. We don’t sit there after the family cat died and say “I’d wish this would last forever”. No. It’s something we liked and found joy in.

As a procrastin8r, this moment usually comes when I first wake up. I want my sleep to “last forever”. Nothing is as comfortable or relaxing as lying in a nice warm bed. Sleep is the best feeling. At that moment, I’m engulfed in the present.

One of the reasons why negative experiences and emotions are so “hard” to deal with is because we don’t live in it. We don’t become present with our negative emotions, typically. Instead we shove them off and try to live in either the past or future when they arise.

We hold onto loss of something in the past or worry about an issue coming in the future. You long for a life before that person was gone. You look forward to “moving on” eventually, so the pain will go away. What’s happening is you’re not being fully present. You’re not going with the flow and enjoying the ride for what it is.

Whether it's positive or negative, you have to tell yourself that “this is going to last forever.” Of course it won’t, but the idea is to accept the circumstances whatever they may be and really feel what’s going on, rather than long for a different set of feelings that lie in either the past or future.
How many times has shit hit the fan and you thought to yourself: “It’ll get better once I (blank).”

So often do we look forward to the improvements in the future that we forget to appreciate what we already have.

No matter what that “fill in the blank” is, there’s always another blank to fill its place. We’re always searching for something better. Our obsession with getting more - that much does last forever.

Maybe “it’ll get better” once you get that degree. But then “it’ll get better” once you get a job in your field. Then “it’ll get better” once you get that promotion.

And it keeps going until you realize that you’ll never truly be satisfied.

You may get your dream job and become nostalgic about the time you didn’t have so much responsibility. You’ll look back and say:

“Man I wish that time before all this would have lasted forever. I didn’t know what I had back then.”

And right there. A moment. An epiphany. You’ve come to the realization that you weren’t living in the present.

If you’re not living (in the present), you’re killing yourself, slowly rotting until you’re put into a grave.

All that exists is right here, right now. All you need to have, all you need to be is already here. You just gotta appreciate it, dude.

They say “you don’t know what you got ‘til it’s gone” and it’s true. We end up taking for granted the things that actually fucking matter to us and just sort of...expected to always be there. But they aren’t always there.

In the past few months, during this global pandemic, we all lost something important to us or someone close to us. Things we thought would last forever are gone. People we thought that would always be around are not here anymore.

Businesses closed. Relationships failed. People literally died.

Pandemic or not, these things happen on a daily basis. But no doubt some little microscopic asshole went and fucked a lot of things up a lot faster than they normally would have.

If you follow some of my lazy moneymaking tips, you’ll know I recommend HYIPs as an easy passive income.

Well, in the past few days, one of the best High Yield Investment Programs (ever?) called Diversity Fund closed its doors. It sucks.

Now to put that in perspective, that’s like you’re average working Joe telling you they just took a pay cut. Not fun.

But that’s the way the cookie crumbles. Nothing lasts forever.

You can’t get attached to the way things are. You can only appreciate it while you have it.

Hope something will last forever, in the sense that you can be truly present with it. Don’t hope something will last forever in the sense that you expect it to never change.

Things can and will change.

Adapt to the changes by going with the flow. Kick back, relax, and enjoy the ride. It may not always be the same, but that’s part of the fun.

Life would be boring if things actually did last forever. I mean, c’mon man, “forever” is quite predictable. You’re not living if things are so predictable.

The thrill of living comes from unpredictability, even in times of despair.

If your ex breaks up with you, you may wind up finding an even better partner in the future that you never would have even met had you stuck in the old sour relationship.

If you lose your job, you may wind up becoming a lazy entrepreneur, instead of grinding 40 hours a week at the same boring desk job.

Today’s loss is not tomorrow’s misfortune.

In fact, every time you lose something, you gain something else. “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end” (cue: Semisonic).

But seriously, while nothing holds eternal permanence, the end (of whatever) creates opportunity.

Live in the moment. Experience the pain (of loss). Because that too won’t last forever.

You can’t even be lazy forever. I mean, maybe for the rest of your life but certainly not “forever”. After all, your time on this earth is limited. Just embrace your laziness while you’re here, takin it easy, slow n’ steady, one day at a time.

Today won’t last forever and neither will tomorrow. Enjoy those days while you have it and think to yourself today “I hope this lasts forever” to put yourself in the present.

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L.A.Z.Y. Mindset: Leisure

7/29/2020

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In my FREE e-book, the L.A.Z.Y. Mindset, I break down a four step module towards success, as a procrastin8r. The book was designed to give a sort of roadmap towards creating an easy, laid-back life.

Each letter in L.A.Z.Y. is a main principle of becoming a PRO, and not just a “crastinator”.

The book is short and only about a dozen pages. Let’s be honest, it’s more of a little pamphlet, a pamphlet packed with awesome wisdom.

It’s an easy, short read. I wanted it to be. I didn’t want this long-winded, heavily-worded anthology. I wanted it to be short, sweet, simple, and to the point. I mean the ultimate lazy man’s guide should be that way.

Anyway, I want to provide further insight on what the book does not cover. While in the book, I go as far as to tell you each module and why it’s important, I don’t really define the modules in the way they deserve to be. The definitions are clear, but not as fleshed out as they could or should be. I want to take a closer look at these modules to help you attain the L.A.Z.Y. Mindset yourself.

So starting today, and in the next coming weeks, I’ll be taking a deep dive on each of the four modules of the L.A.Z.Y. mindset, so that you can have a better understanding of what it's all about.

And who knows? Maybe one day it’ll all be published in one epic compendium...eventually.

I recommend starting out by grabbing your copy (or reviewing it if you already have it) before starting to read this article. It would certainly give you more clear insight but of course, that’s not necessary and completely up to you.

The first step of the L.A.Z.Y Mindset is Leisure.

Leisure is spending time doing whatever relaxes you and makes you feel at ease. While sleeping in or just lounging around on the couch can be considered leisure, naturally, leisure itself is not necessarily the practice of idleness. Rather, it is the practice of attaining rejuvenation. How you attain that is quite a personal experience. You do something that refreshes your mind, body, and spirit. You take a break from “the grind” and unwind a bit, doing whatever it is that allows you to do just that.

Even though certain activities like lying on a hammock are what one would often associate with the word “leisure”, at its core, leisure is not so set in stone on what activities are or aren’t part of it. Leisure has a bit more of a flexible definition.

In fact, a physical intense activity, though may seem quite the opposite of leisure, given that you are actively moving about and breaking a sweat, can actually be considered Leisure. One may find going on a jog to be quite therapeutic and calming, for example, or perhaps they enjoy pumping iron at the gym to blow off steam.

Whatever the case may be, Leisure is NOT determined by the amount of actual activeness involved (or lack thereof) involved. You and I might consider a jog to be some form of cruel punishment, and that’s okay. That’s not our leisure. But to someone else, it might be.

See, Leisure is a personal preference. One man’s Leisure is another man’s Work. You can do something that relaxes you, but someone else thinks is actually quite a hassle -- and vice versa.

Playing video games is one of my Leisures. But someone might complain that it requires “too much concentration” or it “makes my thumbs hurt”. If you find no complaints about what you’re doing, or otherwise consider those complaints to be negligible, chances are, you’re enjoying yourself in leisure.

Just because someone thoroughly enjoys something like golfing, and you don’t seem to “get it” at all, doesn’t make that thing not leisure. You choose your own Leisure based on your own tastes, in the same way, you decide what you consider to be a “delicious” food. As a matter of fact, it’s not really something you logically or rationally “choose”, just something you so happen to prefer.

You may hate mint chocolate flavored anything, and no matter how much someone tries to convince you how “good” it tastes, you just think it tastes nasty.

Similarly, there’s nothing anyone can say or do that can convince you that a certain activity is Leisure if you just don’t feel that way. You can’t convince them that a certain activity is Leisure (to them) either.

Leisure is just something you find to “tastes good”, like your own appetite for specific foods and flavors and there’s really no clear cut definition on what that may or may not include. There are people that like french fries and mayonnaise, which I think is absolutely gross, but hey, if it’s something they think tastes good, then by all means, have at it. In the same vein, I think fishing is boring as hell, but if someone loves it, good on them. They can enjoy their Leisure in that activity.. They have their own tastes. I have mine. You have yours.

As long as the activity doesn’t harm anything or anyone, there’s pretty much no limit to what your Leisure can be.

Leisure is the lack of negative thoughts

You don’t feel bogged down by it, burdened, or otherwise obligated to do it. It’s just something you do...naturally. You don’t become stressed by thoughts of it. It’s your “go-to place” to calm down and relieve stress, not spark more of it.

That said, you can enjoy an activity without it being a Leisure.

Sometimes what you really enjoy about a particular activity are the benefits of said activity and not the activity itself. For example, the person who likes running may not actually like running itself, for what it is. Instead what they like are the benefits of living healthy that comes from running on a consistent basis. They actually secretly detest running. It’s tiresome, time-consuming, and overall just a burden to do. BUT it does bring a bunch of health benefits like a stronger cardio.

One question you need to ask yourself, when trying to find what exactly your Leisure is, is this: Would I be doing this if I didn’t get anything out of it?

If the answer is NO, then you’re not in Leisure. You’re doing something you enjoy, but you’re not doing something in Leisure. See the difference?

Leisure has NO benefits, other than being the activity it is.

Leisure is focused on the present, being in the moment, not the benefits that participating in a certain activity can bring in the future.

Professional athletes will often describe as they play their sport of choice that they are “in the zone”. They are completely focused entirely on what’s happening in the moment, not about the argument last night with their girlfriend, not about the stock market, not about their breakfast they ate this morning.

They’re not even thinking of what winning the game would bring for them, at least the good ones and the ones that are truly in Leisure.

They are present, completely. They are focused on playing the game itself, not attaining the victory. Victory is a result of playing the game. Playing the game is not a result of victory.

In Leisure, you are fully “in the zone”, just like an athlete. You’re not thinking of anything outside of it or even what doing it could possibly bring later. You’re just...doing it.

Oftentimes the phrase “just do it” is associated with this shut up, try hard, no holds barred attitude, like don’t ask any questions, just push for your goal and...do it!

But here on Lazy island, “just do it” means to just do the thing and engulf yourself in the present moment of doing said thing. It’s not a matter of striving hard towards something. It’s a matter of easing back, and truly doing the thing you enjoy, without regards to getting anything out of it (other than pure enjoyment in its fundamental form)

Leisure is not competitive, nor goal-oriented.

In order to truly “live in the present”, in Leisure, you can’t be worried or concerned about things that may come about.

While I mentioned playing video games is a Leisure for me (or at least it can be) There are certain games I can’t play for Leisure. Not to say I don’t enjoy them.I do. But certain games I play are no longer “for fun”. It becomes rather competitive, instead of just appreciating the game for what it is and well, having fun.

Like I’ll be playing a game, Dead by Deadlight, for example to win and rank up. I’ll play a game like RuneScape to grind out levels. I’ll play Dark Souls to try and win achievements.

The list goes on and on.

While there may be something you enjoy, just because you enjoy it does not mean you are in Leisure while doing it. If there is an ulterior motive behind doing something, you’re working hard, not embracing Leisure.

Someone who enjoys fishing may be trying to catch the biggest fish. That’s not true Leisure.
You must fish just to fish, not to gain anything else from it. Apply the same principle to whatever activity it is you want.

It is essential to have some form of Leisure in your life.

Leisure rejuvenates you. It gives you energy.

Without Leisure, life becomes a series of one obligation after the other. It leads to burning out and feeling quite unfulfilled. You’re constantly trying to do the “next big thing” in every aspect of your life -- your career, your family, your friends, and even your hobbies -- and this leads you to feeling rather dull and that you just aren’t good enough.

You must take a step back once in a while and be able to think to yourself:

“I am enough. This is enough”

Whether it's playing pool, painting, or just vibing to some music, you must take the time to just enjoy yourself, enjoy what you’re doing, without any sort of goal in mind other than the simple enjoyment.

We live in a society that pushes for excellence -- that you must be the best in everything you do, no matter what. It’s a highly competitive world, and we’re led to believe that if you aren’t excelling at what you’re doing, then you need to get better. You need to try harder, work harder, do it harder.

We’re never told to just appreciate the activity for what it is. We’re told that it isn’t “worth the time” if you’re not completely dominating in something, no matter how trivial it may seem. You must always be better, faster, stronger.

As a society, we have this fascination with achievement. We’re led to believe that if you aren’t achieving very much, then you are not worthy as a person.

It’s like you need to have some sort of big impact or noteworthy skill or talent to be worthy and loveable.

Look, your level of worthiness as a human being has nothing to do with your level of achievement at all. We are all equally worthy.

Stop trying to achieve. Stop trying to make it big. Stop trying to be the best of the best. All of that is the real “waste of time”.

We’re given some sort of standard to live up to and try to attain.

Look, the standard is this: enjoy life.

Enjoyment doesn’t stem from success. Quite the opposite in fact. Success stems from enjoyment.

Look at successful people, celebrities, athletes, etc. They all have one thing in common: they enjoy what they’re doing.

They are living a life of Leisure. That’s not to say you need to strive for that level of fame or success. That’s to say if you find happiness, if you find your Leisure, then everything else that may come (money, fame, etc) is simply a byproduct, rather than the initial goal. It’s great if you reach a high level of success and it’s great if you don’t.

Life is about taking a journey, not arriving at a specific destination.

Have fun. Actually have fun. Don’t worry about performing the best or always coming out on top. Don’t worry about meeting some sort of standard or protocol. “Just do it.” and enjoy it, without regards to anything else. If you like what you're doing, you'll naturally get better at it anyway.

In general, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Life is not a competition and there’s no need to make it one.

Like a good meal, savor the flavor and just enjoy yourself in Leisure as you take the cake one bite at a time.

Make your life deliciously satisfying by liking the taste of what you’re eating (metaphorically speaking of course), in the present moment, not a search for the best recipe. After all, once you find the best, you’ll still be searching for even better.

Leisure is ultimately a feeling of “just enough”. Just enough to feel satisfied. Just enough to feel good. Just enough to feel...worthy.

You are worthy. Embrace yourself in Leisure and you’ll find it to be true.

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You Don't Have to be Passionate About Anything

7/22/2020

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Last week, we talked about how starting your own business is one of the laziest things you can do. After all, nothing says lazy like getting other people to do work for you. And of course, you get to be your own boss, which is a pretty cool perk if I do say so myself.

But one of the most awesome benefits about having your own business is that you get paid for doing something you...well, actually enjoy. That’s an absolutely beautiful thing! Cause face it --- schlepping 40 hours a week for 40 years of your life at a job you hate for a boss you resent is torture.

In essence, you just do your thing and make a living out of it, rather than doing someone else’s thing and barely putting food on the table.

So how do you find that “thing” you want to make a business out of and furthermore, live a lazy lifestyle?

If you listen to the sage old sappy advice, you’re told to “find your true passion”.

Passion. What a word. It’s as if you need to have this deep hunger and craving to do a specific thing.

Ya know, like you need this “fiery” passion to get started. Fiery, as if you must transform into this infernal hellbeast aggressively chasing after its one target, it’s one prey.

It’s like you need to be so seriously obsessed with something to the point where that’s the only thing you care about and that matters to you. Your one and only.

Well, fellow procrastin8rs. Get ready to simmer down, because here’s a truth bomb:

Passion is bullshit.

I mean, certainly, if you’re passionate about something, that’s all well and good. I mean, it’ll no doubt make building a business (related to your passion) that much easier.

But look, not many people are passionate about anything or ever will be, especially us lazy folks. Chances are, you won’t find something you really love that much, to the point where it’s literally all you think about.

It’s actually a rare occurrence for someone to hold such an ardent deep appreciation for one specific thing, and to suggest that you must “find” that for yourself, is well, pretty much bullshit.

It’s like searching for the Holy Grail, the needle in the haystack, the shiny Pokemon. You get the gist. It’s nearly impossible to find any sort of passion for yourself.

I mean just the sheer level of commitment you need to have, the sheer amount of emotional attachment you need to give, in order to feel “passionate” about something is insane. It’s an incredible amount of desire.

Saying to someone “oh just find your passion” is like suggesting “oh just find your true love.” It’s a nice little fantasy, and sure it happens on occasion, but realistically, you ain’t gon’ find it, and you’re going to wear yourself out trying to.

More likely than not, you never felt passionate about anything and quite frankly never will, but that’s okay. You don’t have to be passionate about anything in order to reach success.

You just have to…like something

See, you don’t have to be rigorously devoted to one specific subject, hobby, or niche. You just have to like it. You just have to appreciate it a little bit. That’s enough to get the ball rolling, that’s enough to build success.

It’s much easier -- a hell of a lot easier -- to find something you simply like than it is to find some sort of “divine calling” or whatever.

Relax, there’s no need to enthusiastically pursue a dream. Besides, the best way to see your dreams is to sleep.

Look at one thing you enjoy and find a way to monetize it. If you like video games, start streaming or make review videos. If you like movies, write about your film analysis in a blog.

I mean you talk about the things you like anyway. All blogging or vlogging really is, is doing that and getting paid for it.

Heck, if you like coffee, open a hipster coffee shop, like Colby Williams, owner of Parengo Coffee and author of Small Town Big Money did as he talked about in lvl 40 of the ProcrastiN8r Podcas t. He specifically notes that he wasn’t “passionate” about coffee by any means. He just matter-of-factly likes it. He enjoys his cuppa Joe. And now he’s making big bucks.

He simply asked the question “What kind of coffee shop would *I* like to go to?” and then made it a reality. He wasn’t necessarily concerned with what other people liked or wanted. He just wanted a coffee shop that suits his own personal tastes and preferences. Now his little coffee shop has become a tourist attraction, where coffee-loving hipsters go out of their way to travel to.

It may sound sort of selfish to build a business that matches your own tastes. But hey, just remember other people have similar tastes as you. I mean unless you have really odd out-there sort of tastes, chances are, there’s a crowd of people that like what you like. And that’s really the key to building a successful business, the lazy way -- sharing what you like with other people who like the same thing.

Again, you don’t have to be the most passionate about it. You don’t have to be the most knowledgeable or even have the most expertise in it.

You just have to know enough to be able to answer the question:

What would I like enough to spend my money on?

And that’s it. Whatever product, service, or content you create, you should be able to tell yourself “I’d totally pay for this myself” and mean it. If you *like* what you’re selling enough to be willing to shell out the dough for it yourself, then other people will too.

Having passion is one thing. But all you really need is the basic level of appreciation, liking it in the first place.

There’s this whole ridiculous idea that you have to find your “mission” in life. Man, that about sounds like I’m gonna dress up in a suit and equip myself with an arsenal of high-tech gadgets a la James Bond style. But you don’t need to be some sort of action-hero to find purpose or meaning. You can just be a dude (who likes something and abides by it).

You can still have purpose, but you don’t need to make it a mission (or passion for that matter).

A mission is something that might be legitimately important to the world. A purpose is something important to you* See the difference?

On one hand, you’re striving for massive impact.On the other, you’re just looking to relax and be at peace. Enjoy life.

A mission is concentrated effort that *must* be done. It’s some sort of vocation or vital assignment with the tone of “do this or else”. It’s compulsory to complete.

A purpose, on the contrary, is just a matter of “this gives me fulfillment because I like doing it.” It’s not obligated or required. It’s just something that means something special to you. It gives you a reason to wake up out of bed (typically around noon), not because you feel you *should* but because you feel you want to. You like to.

You don’t have to go all out and make this huge impact, save the planet or whatever in some sort of passionate “mission impossible”. You only need to do...just enough.

You need to be able to tell yourself: I like this. I like what I’m doing.

And again, don’t need to go overboard and be passionate about what you’re doing...just enjoy it *enough* to feel satisfied.

Don’t feel bad for not being able to find your passion. Very few people do. And to be fair, passion is probably a borderline mental disorder of addiction if you break it down for what it is. It’s like you need it and can’t live without it, without your passion. You’re constantly thinking of ways you can get your “fix” and will do anything to get it. That’s quite a stressful lifestyle, and not one a true procrastin8r wants to be a part of.

You instead want to aim for a more “recreational use” in what you’re doing. You can appreciate it for what it is, but at the end of the day, it’s not something you absolutely feel compelled to do. You want it and don’t need it.

You want leisure over passion, something that relaxes you and makes you feel at ease, not something that’s gonna fire you up and make you feel an undying urge to get more, do more, and be more. Sometimes less is more.

In creating your own business, don’t focus on making some sort of big “Passion Project”. That’s a lot of rigorous work and commitment -- something I assume as a lazy ass you want to avoid. Instead develop your interest into a profitable venue.

There’s *something* that interests you.I guarantee it. I’m too slothful to make a big list of suggestions, but you know what you like, damnit! I shouldn’t have to tell you what it is you like. All I’m saying is take that interest and monetize it.

When you’re making money from doing a thing you like, you’re no longer “working for a living” and instead are just “living”. What you do can become so integrated in your life that you’re no longer searching for the right career or right passion. You’re just doing what you do, and the finances are a byproduct of living your life.

What you choose to embrace as a business or monetization doesn't have to define you, in the way any sort of passion does. It’s part of you, but not who you are at the core.

I’d go as far as to argue that perhaps passion, to some extent, is a bit unhealthy. The nature of it being obsession. I mean the difference between obsession and passion is like the difference between shit and poop. But seriously, the amount of fascination you need to be “passionate” about something is really quite neurotic to bone, no doubt about it.

Boiling over something because you “feel passionate about it” is really quite absurd. It creates for you a “hustle” to get done, rather than a hobby you enjoy that just so happens to pay the bills as a bonus.

Whether it’s craft beer or parkour, fire poi or sewing, whatever the hell it is you like doing, go ahead and make it your business, aka, your passive income source, from it. Forget passion. Be lazy and do whatever you like.

Your life doesn’t need to be an absolute upbeat thrill full of passion. It just needs to be simple.

Take it easy,

N8

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Too Lazy for a Job? Do this instead.

7/15/2020

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Creating a business. Sounds like a try-hard thing to do. Seems like a lot of work. Quite ambitious.

I mean, certainly going about building a profitable company from the ground up can be an arduous task, if you put it that way. The idea of being an “enterprising entrepreneur” has its own stigma of being a go-getter.

But starting a business is actually one of the laziest things you can do. Entrepreneurs are not hardworking folks at all, rather some of the most slothful personalities on the face of the planet. They are ProcrastiN8rs at heart. They are people that said “I hate working”, not those who said “I LOVE work so much that I want to do MORE of it”, contrary to popular belief.

No doubt starting your own business is a lazy man’s dream. I mean think about it...

For one, you get to be your own boss. You get to make your own decisions, and you don’t have to follow orders as a labor slave.

For another, you get to do something you actually enjoy. It’s not just a means to pay the bills. You don’t schlep 9 to 5 doing something you hate just to put a roof over your head and food on the table. You like doing it, and the financial incentive becomes simply a bonus, rather than a necessity to live. You’d do it for free anyway.

And finally, you can be a total bum and lounge around all day. Nowadays, with the nice little invention of the Interwebs, you don’t need to sit at a cubicle desk or wear a three piece suit or uniform. You can lay on the couch in your PJs, running your own business from home.

Now of course, we’re lead to believe that “starting a business” is a big thing, like it’s “mission impossible.” It’s as if this whole business thing is reserved for the most diligent, the most passionate.

Even the word “business” sounds intimidating. Like it’s some hardcore enterprise you must inaugurate using a plethora of feats and talents.

That’s a bunch of bullshit. And I think deep down you know that.

If you’re trapped in the 9-5 grind, your boss right now is probably one of the laziest motherfuckers you know, but guess what? You’re the one working for him. The typical big boss man is not that talented; he just so happens to be the one in charge.

The thing is, they don’t have to be so talented or even hard working at all. They just have to know enough and do enough to keep the business running.

A business can basically become more of a rather passive source of income, as opposed to a “hard-earned living”.

Business owners, entrepreneurs, are people that chose laziness over working hard. They chose to use other people’s talents and work ethic to grow an income, instead of their own.That’s what you have to remember. That’s what you have to keep in mind.

If you can be lazy, you can start a business. It’s as simple as that.

Laziness, I’d go as far as to say, is the key component to creating successful entrepreneurship. You have to want to NOT work so bad that you feel the compulsion to either delegate or eliminate the tedious tasks you don’t want to deal with.

You shouldn’t be the one mopping the floors (heck you don’t even need a physical office since you can do everything from a laptop) or replying to all the e-mails from clients/customers. Get other people to do it.

You only need to assure that things are running smoothly, no more, noless. It’s like watering plants, not that hard to do, and it’ll grow on it’s own without very much of your time or labor.

Your goal is not to perform the whole circus, but just set up the tent. Let the acrobats and clowns perform the show. Your jobs is...well, actually you don’t have a job.

See, there’s a difference between creating your own business and “creating your own job.”

Many entrepreneurs make the mistake of replacing their 9 to 5 job with…*another job* that they just so happen to be in charge over. These are the businesses that fail. These are the business that suck and wipe out in less than two years (the average lifespan of a business). That’s because the entrepreneur himself becomes burned out and loses focus (mostly because they’re trying to do too much and wearing themselves thin)

But the ones that make it, the ones that are successful, aren’t the ones grinding out work ‘til the ass crack of dawn. No. They’re the ones sleeping in ‘til noon and barely putting in more than a handful of hours each week.

Creating your own job means you give yourself an endless series of tasks. You tell yourself “I have to do this” or “I have to do that”. Sure, you become your own boss, but you become a rather bastard of a boss *to yourself*. You end up sacrificing your own sanity for the sake of the business...and that’s no bueno.

Creating your own business means outsourcing that work to some form of either automation or delegation. You get machines and software to do most of the heavy labor for you. Then you get *other people* to do the work that requires human input. The work you do yourself is very little, and at that, hardly counts as work because well, it’s something you’d appreciate doing anyway.

There’s no point in leaving your job, just to enter another job that requires far more work, and in all fairness, probably far less pay. You instead want to have no job. You want to create a situation where you’re earning money without the hard work, amirite? I mean that’s why you’re here reading this blog, right? You’re sick of working. So don’t replace work with more work. Don’t create for yourself another job and slap your own business title on it.

The important question to ask is not “How do I run this business?” It’s “How do I make this passive income?”

You don’t want to be actively doing as much as possible in your own business. That’s a job. Literally. You want to sit back as things get done as you make bank. Now, that’s true (lazy) entrepreneurship.

Use your Lazy Leadership and get other people to do the work for you. Guide them, encourage them, make them feel valuable and worthy. Take care of your employees and your employees will take care of you (by providing you with a passive income in your business).

You just have to have the courage to say what it is you want, what it is that needs to get done, and *trust* that it will get done. You set the direction and tell others which way it is then lean back and procrastinate. You don’t demand -- that’s exhausting. And you don’t micromanage -- that’s a lot of work.

And you most certainly don’t insist on doing it yourself so it can “be done the right way.” -- that’s , again, putting yourself in a job you created for yourself.

Part of running a successful business is letting go and going with the flow, trusting others to go in the direction you point them in. You have to accept that not everything is within your control. Trying to control everything yourself is what leads to a business failure.

And speaking of failure, when it comes to business, and anything in life, you’re gonna fuck up. You’re going to make mistakes. Things won’t always go as planned. People may disappoint you in their performance.

But mistakes are meh. They don’t matter. They’re part of the learning process. The growing pains. You can’t reach the heights of success without a few falls here and there. You’re gonna fail and fail hard. You don’t have to like it, just accept it. Failing does not make you a failure.

You’ll get better, slow n’ steady. No business is a million dollar success overnight (or there are at least very few that are). Focus on *improvement* and you’ll get there...eventually.

You might have even come to realize that if you do run your own business, you can be a lazy fuck and get away with it. But you, like many, are held back by the fear of failure. It’s not so much the disdain for the work itself involved in creating a business. After all, you know it’s not much work at all, especially when you like what you’re doing.

But the fear of fucking up and putting your time, money, and life at risk is too much to handle. You might put in all this planning, hiring, and goal-setting just to watch it fall flat on its face and end up broke.

But what’s the alternative? Working a dead end job for 40+ years, living borderline broke that entire time, with the small *possibility* that you *might* be able to retire?

Risk is relative. Every choice you make risks losing out on something else. In this case, it’s basically a choice between freedom and stability.

You can either live a life of lazy leisure, doing what you want, but risk having it taken away in an instant. Or live a life of a hard work grind, with a stable job, but risk never really doing what you want and feeling unfulfilled on your death bed, like you were just another work grunt, another cog in the wheel your whole life.

That’s for you to decide. Me personally, I’m one to take the lazy path, always.

It’s not so much a question of whether or not you’re willing to do what it takes to start your own business because it doesn’t take much. It’s whether or not you’re willing to give up the safety of a cozy desk job in exchange for freedom.

I personally think it’s more cozy on the couch though.

access to run a business. Brick and mortars stores are a thing of the past.

There are actually people called “digital nomads” that live a life of leisure, travelling the world, that pay for their excursions by running a business on a laptop. These are real procrastinators.

You don’t even need an actual product. Content can be your product. You can talk about, write about, video about whatever it is you’re interested in. Look at all the streamers like Ninja and Pewtie Pie making millions a year just doing what they love - playing video games.

I mean not everybody is going to necessarily reach that level of success of course, but you could get “just enough” subscribers to not have to worry about paying bills. Aim to live a simple, easy, life by making whatever it is you do “profitable enough” to support yourself.

A brand nowadays doesn’t need to be a big company with a large executive board. It can just be you. Literally. You are your own brand.

But seriously, we live in the digital age and literally the only thing you need is a laptop and Internet

You are profitable. You just gotta know how to...sell yourself. You don’t have to go out and get a job or put together a whole multi-branch corporate structure in your own business. You just have to sell who you are to the type of people you want to talk to.

While it is possible to actually go about organizing departments and workflow, it’s not completely necessary for a brand any more. I mean we have this idea that a brand is a big thing. Like it’s full of different departments and personale. But at its core, a brand is just a personality. And you, yourself are a personality, no?

You *can* of course go about that route of putting together multiple departments into one solid work flow, if you want to, but again ,you don’t have to in order to “start a business”.

Putting together some type of “corporate structure” does allow the business to be more passive. That’s the type of business where you just lean back and let things take care of themselves.

The other type of business is where you just post what you do.This allows you to worry less about the intricacies of how things are going with everyone else, but does require you to actually participate and do more (since ya know, YOU are the brand).

But when you’re creating content or heck, maybe even freelancing, you’re simply profitizing the hobby you’d “waste time” with anyway. In other words, even though as a content creator or freelancer business, you have to literally “take matters into your own hands” so to speak, since ti really is just a hobby of yours, something you want to do, it really feels just as passive as one more structured, with multiple employees.

Heck ,during this global pandemic even businesses that are otherwise brick and mortar are running things virtually. This entire coronavirus thing has proves that running a business is completely possible online. No expensive real estate investment necessary.

Ideally, you do what you want and pay yourself for it. Choose how much you think an hour of your time is worth. Then decide the tasks you’ll be personally responsible for.

If you’re say, worth a hundred dollars an hour, there’s no sense paying someone that much to answer e-mails. So in other words, don’t do the work that you wouldn’t pay someone to do at the salary you set for yourself, instead find someone else to do it.

When you’re your own boss, be the boss you like.

You want to escape the Belligerent Boss that’s always micromanaging you and screaming at you to overwork while being underpaid.

So, when you become your own boss, don’t be that guy. Don’t criticize yourself excessively and put yourself under the pressure of a huge workload. You don’t like when *someone else* does it to you, so don’t do it to yourself.

If you are your own boss, don’t become a boss you hate.

Starting a business, while appears to be quite an ambitious project is simply a matter of saying “No” to work. It’s saying “Fuck a steady pay check. I’m doing what I want to earn a living” and going for it.

And remember, you can be lazy and ambitious at the same time. You can attain goals, slow n’ steady.

Don’t be intimidated by how much work starting a business is. The truth is, it’s not a lot at all.

And certainly don’t succumb to the fear of failure. After all man, mistakes are meh.

If you want to escape the 9 to 5 grind, do the lazy thing and start your own business.

Take it easy,

N8

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Lazy Leader vs. a Belligerent Boss

7/8/2020

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Leadership. It’s a positive thing

It’s an attribute that looks good on any resume and is sought after hardcore in the corporate world. People want to hire a good leader.

But even if you’re a lazy ass like me and aren’t going to be applying for a new job any time soon, leadership has its benefits.

I mean to put it bluntly and in a thumbnail version. What is leadership?

The ability to get people to do shit for you.

I don’t know about you, but I like getting other people to do shit for me, so I don’t have to do it in the first place. It’s that simple.

Naturally, I want to be a strong leader, if anything, so I have less things I actually have to do myself.

Besides, if you think about it, I mean really, think about it. The most successful people in the world are the greatest leaders, and in turn, the most lazy people on the face of this earth.

Seriously, you don’t reach high levels of success working hard all by yourself. Doesn’t matter how talented you are, how diligent you are, or how knowledgeable.

If you try to do things as a “lone wolf” so to speak, your success (and that of your business) is completely limited to your own capabilities. You only have so much time, so much expertise.

By adding people to your “team”, by leading others, you are literally multiplying the capabilities and success you can have. You expand the knowledge, productivity, and talents beyond just yourself.

Put it this way, a group of ten average Joes are probably waaay more efficient at running a business than one single Ace genius entrepreneur. It’s better (and not to mention more efficient) to practice leadership skills over productivity skills.

Getting other people to do shit for you is key to minimizing effort and maximizing results.

Now there are two ways to go about doing that, two ways to go about influencing others.

One is a rather brash and unruly. The other is a more cool, calm and laid back approach. I’ll let you guess which one we’re going for.

Both styes of “influence” achieve the same goal of getting other people to do shit for you, but one is a hell of a lot easier and also makes you a hell of a lot more well liked.

See ,there’s a difference between being a Belligerent Boss being a Lazy Leader.

We’ll dive into the nitty gritty details, but to give the TLDR version:

A Lazy Leader gets people to Follow his/her direction, while a Hardworking Manager Forces them to go a certain way.

It all comes down to commanding versus inspiring.

Go with the flow
A Lazy Leader has Vision. A Belligerent Boss, on the other hand, has Plans.

Plans are rigid, everything must be followed to a tee. There’s no deviating from the plan.

But plans can fail. Plans can collapse. Things may not always go “according to the plan”.

But vision? Vision never fails. While there may be failure along the way to achieve said vision, mistakes are meh and the Vision doesn’t go away.

With Vision, you are flexible. You can go with the flow and adapt to changes. You can handle setbacks with poise and grace. Whereas with plans, you’re not really able to accommodate any sort of unexpected turn of events.

You induce panic and stress when the plan fails because you were counting on things happening a certain way. What happens when they don’t go exactly how you had planned? Well, now you’re fucked.

Building a solid Vision though will keep you moving forward slow n’ steady, no matter how heavy shit hits the fan. Unlike having a plan, no solid set of instructions on how to get from point A to point B. This allows you to be creative and resourceful in achieving your goal. You become no longer limited by any sort of “protocol” and can instead “use your discretion” to accomplish what needs to be done.

There’s only so much Preparation you can do. At some point, you have to realize that not everything (or everyone) is completely under your control. Let it go and be able to go with the flow.

Plans take a lot of prep-work and rarely go precisely as written. That’s just the reality. So cut the planning and instead give people a Vision.

That’s not to say you shouldn’t have some sort of “direction” to go to get started, but to lay out every single detail is a waste of energy and a waste of time. Take the Lazy path and simply heed to your Vision.

When you do this, nothing is a hassle.When you go with the flow and maintain your Vision, you can put your worries aside because the details take care of themselves.

Be flexible. Adaptability is a stronger skill than preparedness.

In saying all that, don’t try to micro-manage. This is literally the process of doing someone’s job, without actually physically doing it. It results in a larger workload and a larger stress burden on your part, and also just annoys the hell out of the other person, making them think “God, can’t he trust I do anythingright?

Accept that people won’t always do it “your way”. You can correct them, but don’t keep nagging or berating them about it until they do it. Show you appreciate what they’ve done, then go ahead and offer a suggestion to help them improve.

A Belligerent Boss expects things to be done a certain way, to be done according to plan. Period. No ifs, and, or buts about it..

This honestly decreases the level of productivity, because now the boss and employees alike, are giving a fuck about details that don’t need to be given a fuck about.

Provide Vision for people and they’ll find a way to bring it to life. You don’t have to be a Belligerent Boss e and try and assure every t is crossed. Just sit back and trust they’ll get it done.

Give the benefit of the doubt

If you’re so doubtful that one of your employees or people on your team will complete their task, you have to ask yourself why you even hired them or chose them for that matter, in the first place.

Part of Lazy Leadership is knowing who to assign to what task. Assign the right people to the right task and ease on back.

You don’t have to billergerently “check in” to see “how things are coming along” if you know that they’re fully capable of completing the task you assigned them. Set your Vision and let people make it happen.

If they don’t get it done, you can discipline them then and there, but until then, just believe the shit you want them to get done will in fact get done.

Aim for integrity, not control.

Trust others and they will trust you. Never assume a person will lie, cheat, or steal, unless they have done something to prove otherwise.

Integrity is the one thing you’ve got in life that actually fucking matters. No matter your riches or successes -- they’re all worthless without strong integrity.

When you say something, mean it. Honesty is honestly the best policy. Don’t sugarcoat things. Don’t give vague answers. Just tell the truth. No icing. No confetti. No bullshit.

If you like the way someone did something, offer a compliment. If you didn’t like it, offer some criticism. Match your words with your honest feelings.

If you’re not 100% honest, if you’re not fully embracing integrity, then what you’re doing is trying to control things. You’re trying to control a certain image. You’re trying to manipulate.

Manipulation is the tactic of a Boss used to get his way. You have to be okay with not getting your way sometimes. You have to let the truth speak for itself, rather than trying to hide it.

That’s the way of a Lazy Leader.

I mean, concocting a certain story or image is a lot of work, man.
Don’t give ‘em lip service. Just keep it real, dude.

Decide and Abide

Be decisive but open to feedback. Make a decision and stick to it. Don’t easily back down from your decisions, but at the same time, don’t be so rigid about them.

You’ll wear yourself thin by backing in and out of decisions. Just make one and again, go with the flow.

A Belligerent Boss will insist it’s “my way or the highway”, giving little room for any sort of feedback or improvement. They’d rather be right than do what is best.

Your team may have better solutions, better ideas than you can think of. Don’t discredit them just to show them you’re the one in charge.

Make your principles clear though. You must draw the line somewhere. Let them know where that line is. Set solid boundaries and don’t let people walk all over them...or you.

Hold people accountable but more importantly, hold yourself accountable to those principles.

A Belligerent Boss doesn’t have principles, but has “rules”. Those rules he enforces, he doesn’t seem to apply to himself. He breaks his own rules.This leads to people not respecting him or even taking him seriously at all in some cases.

Even if everyone seems to “follow the rules”, if you don’t abide by them yourself, people may still see you as their boss, but not as someone they actually look up to. They’ll see you as a man (or woman) just trying to control things and put people under control.

Rules, to a Boss, serve no other purpose than to get people to submit. Principles, to a Lazy Leader, on the other hand, are set to show people “the way” -- the way to act, think, and behave; instead of feeling forced to obey, they are inspired to achieve a certain status quo (one you set with your own principles in which you abide by).

You can either be the person people follow orders from or be the person people actually want to be like. Lead by example. Abide by your principles, make them clear, and others will follow.

Be sure to also EXPLAIN the reason behind your decisions and principles. Don’t just say “this is how you do it. No exceptions.”

People should understand WHY you have your principles and WHY you made the decision you did. Taking the attitude of “well that’s the way it is” is just assholish and people will rarely respect your decision. They may “go along” with it just because ya know, you’re their boss and all, but secretly detest everything about it (and about you as a person too).

That creates a hostile environment full of resentment. All of which can be avoided by being honest and upfront about your decision making process to begin with.

Take it easy

Relax. Control your emotions.
Things might get stressful, but you don’t have to stress out. Take a step back, procrastinate, and make a rational decision before jumping up to do something on instinct.

To a Belligerent Boss, every unexpected stress becomes an EMERGENCY. It’s a major problem. A crisis. It’s a reason to yell, scream, or otherwise shout in an uncontrolled manner. It’s a reason to act out belligerent and be “on edge” for a while.

Funny how the one who wants to be in control the most is usually the most out of control when things get hectic.That’s because they can’t control the one thing that’s actually under their control -- themselves and their own emotions.

Focus on what you can control, rather than trying to control external circumstances beyond...your control.

To a Lazy Leader though, problems are nothing but opportunity.

It’s an opportunity to test your ability to adapt and go with the flow, to remain steady with poise and grace, and lead your team to victory.

Guide. Don’t preach
Be a teacher, not a boss. Inspire, don’t command.
Don’t place yourself on an almighty throne, seeking favors from others. Instead join the rally of the peasants and march them (slow n’ steady) towards that awesome vision of yours.

You want people to feel like they’re an important part of something bigger, not just a replaceable cog in the machine. Make them feel like an actual person, not just a work schelepper.

Calmly,. Gently, guide them in the right direction, without overly demanding a set of rules and practices. You want to be able to “sell” an idea to them, rather than tell them to accept a certain idea.

People are motivated to do something when they believe it was their own choice that lead them to do it, as opposed to just being told to do it that way.

Just get it done...eventually
Deadlines, due dates, schedules. Those are all tools of a Belligerent Boss. A Lazy leader, on the other hand just does it...eventually.

Let them do the work from home. Let them leave early. Shit man, as long as it gets done, who cares?

There’s no need to set a firm schedule , telling ‘em when to eat, when to work, when to freaking take a piss.

Obviously, you don’t want people taking advantage of this rather lax schedule to the point where things NEVER get done, but to imply that it’s necessary to plan the workflow down to the very minute is just ludicrous.

Fail, but don’t give up.
Failure is inevitable. No one runs the perfect business and you aren’t going to either. Accept it. Get used to it. Mistakes are Meh.

Failure sucks, but it’s not the end of the world. You live, you learn. Life goes on.

A Belligerent Boss will scrutinize everyone, pointing out what they did wrong. A Lazy Leader will ask: What can we do better?

Failure is just a nudge to make improvements.

Remember, everyone working for you is an idiot...and so are you!

Everyone’s learning. We’re all idiots.
No one knows it all. No one is capable of doing it all, creating it all, being it all. In some way or another, every person is an idiot.

Even the brightest out there still have much room to learn, much room for improvement. In some way or another, you are an idiot.

The amount of human knowledge that exists is impossible to know single handedly.

Learn from others as much as they learn from you. It’s a collaborative team project to grow and become slightly less of an idiot every day.

To a Belligerent Boss, all that matters is the Bottom Line. To a Lazy Leader, all that matters is the Top of the Mountain.

Managers are so dead set on profiting what’s inside their wallet.

Profit, to a Lazy Leader, is just a byproduct of achieving a worthy vision. They’re always climbing up to the top, like a sloth on a tree.

Managers couldn’t care less about growth, unless there’s a dollar sign next to it.

---

Wrapping Up:

Ultimately, it’s up to you to choose how to influence others. You have to ask yourself what’s important, what are you actually set out to accomplish.

Is it monetary? Or are there deeper intrinsic values?

Is it getting your way? Or earning respect?

Do you want people to fear you or love you?

As always, I hope you take the lazy path to make your life not only easier, but more fulfilling and meaningful.

Image Source:

https://churchleaders.com/pastors/pastor-articles/297508-recognize-lazy-leadership-eric-geiger.html

https://www.jobberman.com/blog/leader-vs-manager/

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Don't Do a Whole Lot

7/1/2020

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There’s this crazy notion in our hard work corporate culture that the more you do, the more accomplished you’ll be.

Create more, do more, make more, be more. (and buy more too! Murica!)

We’re bombarded with messages to do as much as you can (and purchase as much as you can too) in order to climb the heights of success.

“More is always better”....or so we’re told.

Make no mistake. These types of messages are purposefully designed to keep you as a diligent little corporate slave and spend-happy consumer. They are not, by any means, actual wisdom to follow.

Unfortunately, they’re pretty consistent with this “GET MORE” propaganda. You get used to the idea that the more you put in, the more you get out, so you wind up emptying your wallet and exhausting your energy, in hopes to *some day* attain fame and prosperity.

If you have MORE of a bigger house, if you have MORE of a nicer car, if you have MORE of a beautiful face, then and only then will you have MORE friends, MORE success, MORE...happiness.

But true happiness and success doesn’t come from a perpetual loop of getting more, rather it comes from having and doing “just enough” and feeling fine. As a matter of fact, happiness is nothing but a fleeting feeling, a temporary mood, a limited time emotion. Attempting to always feel happy will set yourself up for mission impossible.

What you want to aim for instead is “satisfaction”. Satisfaction is feeling relaxed and at ease. It’s believing that what you have and what you do is “just enough” to be worthy and have a meaningful life, and it’s actually pretty easy to obtain.

Look, if you follow this work hard and consume more mantra, you’ll never be happy, no matter what. You’ll always want a better car, a better job, a better... life. There’s always something *more* you’re trying to do in order to earn your happiness.The grass is always greener on the other side. And happiness seems always just “one more” step away from where you’re at.

You’ll always be thinking “I’ll be happy once I...(blank)”. Then once you get to that point, there’s always *something else* you think will make you happy. And once you get that something else, well then there’s another thing you want to get. It’s a redundant pattern that leaves you feeling exhausted with your work and disappointed in yourself.You never *quite* get there.

Rather than chase after the impossible and wear yourself thin in doing so, it’s best to lay back in your laziness and take satisfactions as they come, as you focus on *very little* to make yourself feel satisfied with “just enough”.

See, you’ve been brainwashed to believe that success requires you to do *many* great things, achieve many great accomplishments, and you need many great talents to get there.

But that couldn’t be further from the truth. On the contrary, you only need to do one thing. Make your life as simple as can be.

Do less with more focus.

Every single successful person has done this. Every single rich and famous actor, actress, singer, musician, and entrepreneur alike has chosen not to “work hard” towards a multitude of things, but to find one thing they like to do and stick to it.

They embraced their laziness by doing what they wanted, rather than taking the traditional “work your ass off doing something you hate for the rest of your life” approach.They found a way to truly attain freedom and with it, satisfaction.

For Jim Carey, it was comedy, to make people laugh. For Bill Gates, it was connecting people through computers. For Jimmy Page, it was shredding guitar.

No matter what famous celebrity you choose, it all comes down to a person that chose *one thing* and nothing more. All these people kept their life simple, in regards with how they spent their time, and look at where they went. You too must aim to simplify your life, embrace your laziness.

Even the likes of successful people with “many” talents, like Dwayne the Rock Johnson as a good example, who can sing, dance, act, and even wrestle, live a rather simple life. The truth is, he has one talent: inspiring others.

I mean if you’re going to go as far as dissecting one single person and each of their talents, you might as well go as far as to break down any famous guitarist. S/he knows how to strum chords, play scales, bend strings, slide up and down the fret board. Each part of “playing guitar” is technically a separate talent. But no, that’s just a level of complexity that doesn’t need to be considered. At the end of the day, the dude knows how to play guitar. There’s no need to complicate things.

If you eat pizza, you don’t run through the details of picking it up from the plate, putting it in your mouth, chewing it, digesting it, etc.

You just eat the damn pizza. The details all come naturally, without even thinking about. You don’t consciously think about each and every step to make that process happen. You just...let it happen. Simple.

The same principle applies to well, pretty much anything you want to achieve in life. Whether it’s eating cheesy, saucey goodness or becoming a world renowned musician, all you ever want to accomplish, all you ever want to do comes down to just One Thing.

You can analyze and break it down into segments all you want but all that is just fluff. Life is not that complicated, or at the very least, doesn’t need to be.

We’re lead to believe that being a “one-tracked” mind is greedy and selfish. That’s all to keep us from doing all we’re capable of. It’s a shaming tactic used to make us think that there’s always something “more” to consider. Look, doing what you want and living in satisfaction means you’re being greedy and selfish, then so be it.

Embrace the one-track mind, the Lazy Mind. It’s frankly the only way you can achieve greatness. You need to decide what you’re One Thing is and stick to it.

McDonald’s goal is to serve burgers. And how many burgers do they serve every year?

Just one. One thing. One product.

Want a Happy Meal? Well, we’ll throw a toy in it!
Want a Big Mac? Well we’ll mix ketchup, mayo, and relish together, call it a “secret sauce”, throw it on a sesame seed bun with some lettuce and BOOM! Big Mac!

No matter what you order at McDonald’s, you’re ordering, essentially, the same thing regardless of what you choose on the menu.

It’s a matter of simply…”repackaging”. It’s the illusion of choice and variety. So too must you re-package yourself with the single thing you’ve got going for yourself. Create the illusion that there’s a lot going on, instead of actually try hard to do a whole lotta shit. One thing. Keep it simple. Keep it lazy.

I’ll use myself as an example (as selfish and greedy as that might be). Certainly, as you may already know I host the ProcrastiN8r Podcast. I put together an episode each week, writing the show prep, recording my voice, editing it in Adobe by adding a little EQ and sound effects.

What you may not know is I also freelance audio production and voice work. As well, I’m a professional DJ for weddings, graduations, bar mitzvahs, and the like. Sounds complicated and ridiculous when you break it down like that. But the end of the day, my one thing is “Entertainment”.
Of course, I know haters will be like “That’s not *really* lazy. You’re doing all this stuff. Writing the blog, producing a podcast, heck, even running a mobile DJ company.”

The thing is, it doesn’t feel like work to me at all. I feel lazy in doing it. I get as much satisfaction from audio quote on quote work” as I do sittin’ my ass on the couch.

The same may not be applied to you, and that’s fair. One man’s laziness is another man’s work. Remember that.

Laziness is not so much about avoiding doing anything, but instead doing that one thing that doesn’t feel like work and you find enjoyable. To me, Entertainment, doesn’t feel like work. I’m not saying that’ll be the same for you, but just my personal taste.

Abide by your laziness and do your own thing.

Hell, construction, ya know hauling ass and building shit, to some, would perfectly fit the definition of “laziness”. Laziness is a personal preference, not a set in stone principle. It’s flexible.

Someone might even find lying on the couch to NOT be lazy. As crazy as that sounds. But if it’s something that feels like a burden, then it’s not.

Anything that brings a burden is work. Anything that brings relaxation is laziness. That’s really it.

Your goal is to find your Laziness. Find your One Thing.

Finding Your “One Thing”

In the movie City Slickers, Jack Palance's character, Curly, gives some advice saying that the meaning of life is just "One thing. You stick to that and everything else don't mean shit."

You have to ask yourself: *What actually fucking matters to me?*

Seriously take a look at how you spend your time when you have no obligation, or better yet, pay attention to what you do to PROCRASTINATE *while* you have obligations to fulfill.

The way you spend your time in procrastination can tell you where your passions lie. It can tell you what’s important and what the “less” is that you need to focus more on.

But passion. I hate that word. It’s like you need a rigorous amount of emotion and desire towards something. Nah, bro.

Nothing about that is lazy. And truthfully, not many people are that passionate about *anything*. You don’t have to be either. You don’t have to find your passion. You just have to find what you simply...like.

Like it. Like what you’re doing. Like just one thing that matters to you.

Now I can’t tell you what that is. I can certainly guide you there, but to tell you, “you must do this” or “you must not do that” makes me no better than these corporate slave owners or preaching priests shouting at you what you “should” do and how to live your life.

No, I’m not here to tell you how to live your life or what to do to achieve success. Not only am I too lazy to figure it out and try and write it all down for you, I just...can’t.

I mean, that’s really for you to decide.

Do one thing and one thing really well. What that one thing is up to you. You don’t need to complicate things.

Look into the way you spend your time in procrastination to understand what that one thing is.

Are you playing video games? You could become a live streamer, a professional level tournament player, a game reviewer, a beta tester, or heck, even a programmer.

Are you watching movies? You could create your own youTube channel, write blogs reviewing films.

You get the gist. Ask not “How do I stop wasting my time doing this thing?” and instead ask “How do I make this thing not a waste of time.”

Re-package your laziness into something fruitful (which is kind of what I did with this whole blog here)

Productivity, in my opinion, is not so much spending time doing things worthwhile, but instead turning those “pointless” procrastination activities into well, something worthwhile.

You can do that by doing just One Thing.

Any sort of “more” in what you’re doing is really just a matter of...decoration. It’s the re-packaging.

You can always “throw a toy in it” to make that one thing a *little bit different*, but when all is said and told, you’re not really doing much other than that one thing to begin with.

Keep in mind that leaders are often successful people. And leaders are not the ones “doing a whole lot”. They practice the Law of Least Effort and get other people to do the work for them. They do just one thing and keep focused on it.

Focus on what you do, not what needs to be done. Put in “just enough” effort towards a single thing that actually matters to you and you’ll get there...eventually.

Take it easy,

N8

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Purposeful Procrastination vs. Impulsive Idleness

6/24/2020

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There’s this faulty notion in society that “you should NEVER ever procrastinate.” All this “Work hard” mantra infected in our brains feeds us the idea that if you procrastinate, you’re a worthless bag of shit, as if successful people don’t ever, ever procrastinate. Ever.

Spoiler alert: Successful people do procrastinate. And they do it all the time. Every day in fact.

That’s the secret nobody is talking about. Procrastination is a secret ingredient to success. You read that right. You, fellow procrastinator, have one of the quintessential skills necessary to obtain the success you desire, yet have been led to believe that you’re “too lazy” to actually make it.

Ya know, we’re told that putting off things is never a good idea and you should just get up and DO IT NOW! We’re told to stop holding off. Don’t hesitate. Act now. Quit your dilly dallying!

All these messages of “just do it” all to keep us in line as hardworking corporate slaves.

Well, it’s time for a truth bomb. Get ready for it…

Procrastination is not necessarily a bad thing and is actually a key part in the equation of effective time management.

If you procrastinate effectively, you manage your time effectively. It’s that simple. Time management is not about putting the right things in your schedule, it’s about taking out (and procrastinating) the wrong things. Time management comes down to knowing when to procrastinate and what for, not avoiding it entirely.

It’s not a question of IF you are going to procrastinate or not. You’re going to no matter what. It’s a matter of what are you going to procrastinate on.

You choose. You procrastinate with purpose. And that my friend doesn’t make you a worthless bag of shit at all. That makes you a PRO...crastinator.

When you deliberately procrastinate for a reason, there’s no need to be ashamed about it. Be proud of your decision to procrastinate on one thing (and do another).

You must lean on back, rationalize, think, and put off what needs to be put off.

So what needs to be put off? Well, that’s completely up to you. After all, laziness is all about doing what you want, when you want. I’m not here to tell you anything you “should” do. I wouldn’t make you should yourself.

As long as you are aware of the decision you are making, what you are choosing to procrastinate on, then you are living a life of choice and freedom, rather than of obligation. That’s what you want to achieve.

Thinking to yourself:
“I wish I would’ve (blank) instead of (blank.)” is not true procrastination. That shows you’re allowing your emotions to control your decision-making process. It shows you’re acting on impulse.

Remove the guilt you feel about choosing to procrastinate your homework or whatever important project you have over choosing to procrastinate laying on on the couch playing video games instead.

Make the conscious choice. Procrastinate with purpose. And don’t whine about your decision either. Lay out the pros and cons of what spending your time on a specific task has versus another, then make your choice accordingly.

Impulse is quick and reactionary. It’s not lazy at all. Quite the opposite in fact. It’s part of that “just do it” mantra. Even if you do decide to lay on the couch right away -- that’s the thing -- you went and “just did it” right away instead of being slow and deliberate, like a sloth. Giving into your impulsive brain to do (or not do) something immediately is not the lazy way at all, even if the task is inherently quote on quote “lazy”, like binge-watching Netflix. The true lazy way is to take your slow ass time before jumping into a task and to do it with purpose.

You must take the slow n’ steady decision-making process. Ease on back. Otherwise, you “jump in” to doing something you don’t actually want to do and that’s where the guilt comes in. You know you want something but let impulse drive you into doing the complete opposite.

For example, you want to create your own website, but just somehow “wind up” scrolling through Instagram for hours instead. That’s where you went wrong.

I mean, to be clear, there’s nothing wrong with choosing to Instagram scroll for hours. In fact, there’s something amendable about making a decision and not giving a fuck about the consequences. That shows balls.

There is something wrong with letting your inner-child take control and acting impulsively on whatever those wishes are.

By doing something other than your original choice (in this case, to create a website), it’s not that you are being lazy, it’s that you’re being immature and quite frankly, stupid. It’s okay to not always be productive, and do the lazy thing; t’s not okay to always let thoughts “on a whim” have the final say in what you do or don’t do.

Ironically, you’re not procrastinating if you thought about how you should be cleaning your room the entire time you were watching movies, as another example. That shows you have absolutely no control over your laziness and instead it’s in control of you.

With great laziness, comes great responsibilit y. Being lazy does not make you irresponsible. Being reckless does.

If you truly embrace your laziness, and learn to control it (control it, not eliminate it), you’re not about to go berserk binge-watching but to purposely procrastinate.

Doing something you didn’t intend to do is reckless, not lazy.

Think of a sloth. It moves slowly and deliberately, not quick and sporadic. Every muscle movement is in control. Every branch it grabs is done with purpose. Every leaf it eats is chosen consciously.

That’s what you want to achieve on a mental level - the ability to procrastinate and mean it.

See, on the other hand, there is what I like to call ”Impulsive Idleness”. This is where you remain unproductive without even thinking about it, on impulse.

You do things sporadically, on a whim, just like that “go-getter” you never want to be. You act on that terrible recklessness we talked about. You’re Idle but lack any sort of direction or purpose in doing so. You lack any sort of calm stoic thoughtfulness and instead just rush into an unplanned action (or inaction for that matter).

Being able to consciously, deliberately, make (lazy) decisions, like a sloth climbing a tree, instead of impulsively “wind up” sitting around, is what separates the “crastinators” from the Pros.

You always have to Procrastinate something. It’s not a matter of avoiding Procrastination all together, (that would literally be impossible) but deciding what to procrastinate on and what not to, as well as when to do it.

See, even if you choose to do something productive, like say, writing a blog for your website, you’re still putting off doing the dishes or cleaning your room or the dozens of the other tasks on your to do list, or you’re even putting off leisure time and the necessary mental break you need to avoid burn out.

You put one thing off so that you can do another. That’s how it works. By saying “I’ll do it later” to one thing, you’re saying “I’ll do it now” to another.

You must consolidate and focus on the things that are important. Eliminate most of your to do list. Procrastinate most things and do the things that really matter, in order to level up and win achievements. You decide what matters. You construct the life you want to live. You...create your own character in this game called “real life”. The things you choose to spend your time on first and the ones you put off til later determine your IRL class.

No matter what, no matter how productive of a person you are, there’s always something you’re procrastinating. Always.

Unless you have a Time-Turner, you can’t possibly do everything on your to do list simultaneously. You’re going to have to pick what you’re going to procrastinate and put off ‘til later.

You can’t live a life without procrastinating at all. Instead, you choose what to procrastinate on. You are constantly making that decision. Constantly.

Every single moment of every single day you are procrastinating something.

When someone tells you to “stop procrastinating”, what they are really telling you is to “procrastinate the right things”. They’re telling you that you’re procrastinating the wrong things, the things that lead nowhere.

Tell them to shove it. And while to some extent, they have a point. That’s not what we’re focused right now. We’ll get there though...eventually.

I mean, the goal is to eventually choose the right things, to choose the productive path, to choose things that level you up...and that’s more easily achieved if you put yourself in the habit of Purposefully Procrastinating.

Say to yourself: I am choosing to procrastinate my work project so that I can catch up on my Netflix series, rather than just “wind up” doing that anyway.

Winding up doing something you never really intended to do, on the other hand, is complete recklessness and stupidity. It’s Impulsive Idleness.

Make a choice and stick to it. Procrastinate Purposefully. Don’t allow your inner-child to throw temper tantrums and make you do otherwise. If you want to do the lazy thing, realize what else you’re putting off and accept the consequences gracefully. Remain poised, unfazed.

Remember no matter how you swing it, you are putting off something in order to do something else. Every single thing you procrastinate has consequences for not doing right now. Likewise, every single thing you do right now has consequences for not procrastinating ‘til later.

If you want to sit on the couch all day, don’t complain or beat yourself about it. Be mature about it. Be slothful about it.

It’s what you spend your time “not doing” that counts. Procrastination is key to building productivity, contrary to popular belief.

Take it easy,

N8

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A Lazy man's Guide to Managing Relationships

6/17/2020

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Being lazy is about eliminating work and stress as much as possible. It’s about minimizing effort and maximizing results. It’s about being efficient, using very little effort. Being lazy means “takin’ it easy” in all aspects in life and that includes your “people skills.”

As a matter of fact, knowing how to effectively manage your relationships with other people can help boost your own leisure. After all, a great way to avoid work is to have other people do it for you. Plus, if you approach it the right way, the lazy way, you’ll be able to develop meaningful connections with others, without hardly even trying or getting stressed out or causing drama, for that matter.

Sounds good right? I mean imagine being able to get what you want out of a relationship or friendship without feeling like you gotta jump through hoops or fight to accomplish it. That would be...pure conquest!

Well today, we’re going to cover some practical tips on how to manage your relationships (romantic, platonic, business, or otherwise) in the most lazy and easy fashion possible. We’re going to take the “hard work” out of dealing with other people and transform all the “shaky waters” into smooth sailing. By the end of this article, you’ll be on your way to becoming a charming lazy bastard who knows how to develop rapport and handle conflict with ease -- at least that’s the goal.

Earlier in the blog we covered How to be Socially Aware When You’re Socially Awkward, and now we’re gonna step it up a bit and turn that “awareness” into actual “influence”.

The amount of influence you have over someone comes down to your ability to handle the emotions present within the relationship, both yours and the other person’s (and perhaps even shared emotions). In other words, relationship management is about emotional management. When you manage the emotions within the relationship efficiently, you, in turn, manage the relationship itself efficiently. Failure to get a grip on emotions, especially your own, leads to failure in the relationship.

So really, building a strong relationship (of whatever kind) is not so much about “getting along” with each other, but more about understanding your own emotions and allowing the other person to, also, feel understood. Once you have that pat down, it’s a piece of cake. No more bickering or fighting to try and tolerate each other and instead, actually shaping something meaningful and productive.

Basically, you want to learn where to place your energy, so you aren’t wearing each other thin. A procrastin8r NEVER wastes energy, so learn where to put your energy. After all, relationships should build you up, not tear you down. We’re gonna dive into some practical steps to manage your (emotions in your) relationships and create better influence with others towards a common goal, all while maintaining our laziness.

Request. Don’t Demand.

If you want people to follow your lead, have them follow, don’t push them where you want them to go.

One thing to keep in mind is that no one likes being told what to do, not without good reason. People are rebellious at heart and hate someone giving them overbearing commands. They want to be treated like...a person, and not some sort of work horse.

Besides, being a boisterous boss belligerent shouting demands makes you just like that jerk of a boss at your 9 to 5 job you’re trying to get out of.

When it comes to asking people to do what you want, be polite and firm and always answer the “WIIFM”

What’s a WIIFM? Well, it’s short for “What’s In It For Me”. People only care about the benefits they themselves get out of doing something. We’re sort of selfish by nature like that.

Anyway, give them a good goddamn reason to do what you want.

You don’t necessarily have to tell them directly that “it’s a great opportunity”. That will in fact have the opposite effect and make it seem you’re trying to sell them on something. You do want to imply that whatever it is would grant them some sort of advantage or benefit, imply that it’s a great opportunity for them.

You could use the phrase “you could.” Like “You could have a good time with an awesome guy” or “You could put this on your resume”. Ya know, basically say “this is a great opportunity” without actually saying it.

You basically want it to be their own idea. You want to feel like they actually made the choice to participate. They volunteered. They wanted it to happen.

Speaking of choice. You also want to give them a choice, or at the very least the illusion of choice. People have free will and like to enable their own free will, or feel like they can.

“We’re going to eat pizza.” is too stubborn and demanding. Instead use the phrase “if you want” and give them some sort of “choice” to make.

“If you want, we can go get pizza or tacos” See what I did there? Those are two things you want, but you’re offering it as a “choice” to make. You get the idea. The secret is, you’re making the decision, but letting them think they have some sort of influence. They don’t. But ya know, you don’t have to tell them that.

Care “just enough”

If you care too much, you bend over backwards to try and “make things right” and do whatever to please them, but if you don’t care enough, you make them feel used.

Balance is key. Don’t care too little and don’t care too much. The effort you put into a relationship should match the other person’s, no more, no less. You shouldn’t be bending over backwards to make the other person smile, nor should the other person do that for you.

Neither of you should put the other on a pedestal and treat them with divine worship. Treat each other on an equal level of respect.

Now that doesn’t mean you keep track of “oh you did this” and “I did that”. That would be painstakingly tedious and difficult. Plus, rubbing in the other person’s face whenever you did something is annoying and not to mention, really insecure.

Don’t make your relationships a sort of “exchange” of favors. Trading is left for the stock market, not relationships.

You should be willing to give, without expectation. But in the same vein, don’t offer too much, to the point where you’re juggling fire to make them happy.

Self Awareness is key because you know the strengths (and gifts) you have to offer and don’t have to try hard to offer something you don’t naturally give.

Be open (willing to share about yourself)

Early in our childhood, at some point, we get this toxic idea that being vulnerable leads to pain. It’s the first time we’re called weird or made fun of or flat out bullied just for being...different.

At a young age, we begin to associate being our true selves with being rejected and we tend to try and hide it. We put on masks and identify with certain roles: “the jock”, “the geek”, “the stoner”, in order to fit in with everyone else, and feel worthy and a part of something.

For years, I adapted the role of being a “good Christian”. I acted the way I thought a good Christian would act. I would go to Mass each week. I would read the Bible.I even played Jesus in “the Stations of the Cross”, aka “The Easter Story”

Later did I realize just how limiting living life to fulfill a certain role can be.

There were lies I told myself, lies I told others, all just to maintain a certain image. I pretended like sex before marriage was something evil. I pretended like anyone who didn’t believe in God, no matter how moral they were, deserved to burn in hell.

I would close off and shut out a lot of what I thought was my own “badness”, denying my true self. Now, an atheist, I’m free to express myself and am no longer held back by limiting, and frankly self-righteous, beliefs.

The thing is, the world is a giant jigsaw puzzle and we’re all a unique piece. We’re trying to “fit in” by being the same piece as everybody else, but really, the only way to “create the final picture” is to each be our own unique one.

Plus, playing a life-long game of charade is a lot of work, man. Be honest and don’t hold back. Not everyone is going to like you, and that’s cool. That’s whatever.

Stop giving a fuck about what other people think and just be open about who you actually are.

The people that like you, the people that stick around, are the ones that actually...like YOU, and not some role you’re trying to live up to or pretend to be.

Be curious (find their story)

Since every person is a unique puzzle piece, you want to find the “edges” of a person.

After all, you can’t really influence anyone if you don’t understand who the fuck they actually are.

I went to college for broadcasting, and in the few journalism classes I managed not to sleep through, one of the takeaways I got was to ask the question:“What’s the story?” in every situation.

Every single person you meet has their own story, just like you. Uncover the truth of who they are and how they got to where they are. Understand (The big U in C.O.U.C.H) the events that lead them to become the person they are today.

Be genuinely curious to find out their story. Ask questions. Deep dive.

This will create a bond between the two of you and allow you to see things from their perspective, like why they react the way they do, what makes them tick. You can then cater your requests you ask of them towards their story, and make them feel like the hero of their own tale.

People are drawn to those that “get” them and have “read” their story through and through.

Avoid mixed signals.
Match your body language with words. Be direct. Aligns words and actions with intent.

Don’t beat around the bush and avoid any sort of passive aggressiveness. Say how you feel and follow through with action.

If you say you’d love to help your friend move, but then find an excuse not to go, you’re not being very consistent, are you?

Instead, just say something like “Hey, I’d really not want to spend my weekend carrying furniture. I’ve got better things to do. Besides, I’m pretty lazy to be schlepping things around”, then spend your weekend doing whatever you want.

Match what you’re saying with what you’re doing. People may not necessarily appreciate you all the time but they will respect you and your consistency. They’ll think “Wow, this guy (or gal) really says what she means.”

If you say what you mean, people won’t fuck with you. They’ll take you seriously as a person.

Don’t worry about being “rude”

There’s this false notion that if you don’t do what people want or expect of you, then you’re being rude. You’re not being rude at all. You’re simply expressing your boundaries. Having boundaries doesn’t make you a rude person, at least not if you’re polite about it.

You can be firm, without being rude. You can say NO, without being an asshole. As a matter of fact, the word “NO” is something you should get used to having in your dictionary.

Remember by saying “No” to one thing, you are saying “Yes” to another. The key is to focus on what you actually want to say yes to. This makes it easy to say “No” as in “No, that’s not what I want. That’s not what I like.”

Say Thank you, please, and sorry when appropriate (don't overdo it though)

If you are appreciative of someone or something they did for you, don’t hesitate to let them know. If you do something and are truly sorry, say so.

This goes along with expressing how you really feel.

Don’t say thank you or sorry just to say it though. So many people over apologize. Oh sorry, sorry. The big S word.

You should try to use it as sparingly as possible, so that people know when you’re sorry, you mean it and when you’re thankful, you mean it too. When you use these sorts of words too much, they become deaf to the ear.

Are you really sorry or do you just want their approval? Sometimes you’re gonna get someone upset or piss them off, but you shouldn’t apologize just to make yourself feel better. If you must apologize, do it for them. Do it because you genuinely want them to feel better, not to alleviate your own guilt.

Likewise, don’t say “thank you” just to win points. If you don’t appreciate what someone did, tell them. Honesty is the best practice. It may hurt them a bit, they’ll take a blow to the Ego, but ultimately, they’ll respect your integrity and truthfulness.

If you notice someone apologizing for something ridiculous, just tell them “I forgive you.” They’ll usually be like “well you don’t have to forgive me. I mean---” Well they don’t have to apologize!

Take negative feedback well
There are two types of criticism. The first is mindless hate. These are the “trolls” that are just trying to bring you down to your level. The second type is thoughtful review. These are friends, family, and people you care about trying to help you get better.

The first type should be ignored. No need to listen to insecure people pout their bullshit.

The second should be listened to, without getting butt hurt. Look, you’re not a perfect person, and that’s okay. Don’t try to lie to yourself or anyone by pretending you are perfect. Don’t wear a mask of beauty and perfection.

Flaunt your scars and flaws. Let people point them out. Learn to make the best of them, instead of getting all insulted and downbeat.

You can’t get too emotionally attached to the idea that people are always going to compliment you and provide positive feedback. Take negative feedback with a grain of salt. It’s meh. It’s whatever. You’ll get better, eventually.

Someone pointing out your flaws doesn’t make you a bad person. It doesn’t mean they hate you. It just means you’ve got some shit to get better at.

Keep an open door policy
Be open to listening to feedback at any time. Don’t make it a fight. Don’t argue. Just listen.

Make people feel that they can approach you with their concerns and criticisms.

Of course, on the same token, don’t let them walk all over you and blame you for everything wrong in the relationship. Stick up for yourself, when appropriate. Know where to draw the line.

There is a fine line between admitting where you went wrong and being gaslit.

Own your own mistakes, but don’t be a scapegoat for every single fuck up that happens. Allow people to call you out on your bullshit.

It’s only fair to let them, if you insist on calling them out on theirs. And since you want to be honest, trust me, you’re going to have a lot of bullshit to call people out on, instead of biting your tongue.

Don't ignore anger but use it appropriately (right time, right place, right person)
Anger is seen as a bad thing, typically. I mean obviously, screaming, shouting, and hitting are not good things, and that’s usually caused by anger, but it’s not the anger itself.

Anger, at its core, if we take a step back, is fiery passion. It’s a high amount of energy towards something.

You can either unleash it in a bitter rage or use it as fuel to go after or express what it is you want or need.

Ignoring anger, or suppressing it, only makes the anger grow into heavier and heavier resentment, which is going to unleash wildly sooner or later. The more you try to control anger, the more out of control it becomes.

Instead of ignoring it all together, you must examine your anger, where its coming from, and be able to express it effectively. Use that passion to really say what you mean.

No matter how cool, calm, and laid back you are as a lazy procrastin8r, you’re going to get angry about some things. Don’t brush it off or stuff it down.

Be angry. Be mad. But know what to do with it and how to let it out.

You can “hold” anger back, temporarily, but you can never truly overlook it or forget about it. It’ll find a way out of your system one way or another, even if that means shouting in a fit of rage.

Anger builds upon itself if you’re not careful, so let it out in a mature way. Say what pisses you off without the outburst.

Be able to cope with people you hate

You’re not going to like everyone and not everyone is going to like you. That’s just a fact of life. You can’t avoid it. You can’t please everyone. They can’t please you.

You’re going to get on each other’s nerves with some people and vice versa. Now you don’t have to create a joyous relationship with these types of people, but sometimes you have to at least not strangle each other and get the task at hand done.

Whether that’s working on a project with a co-worker together, living together with a roommate, or whatever sort of “unavoidable” situation you find yourself in with this person, you do not have to make them your enemy.

Now, eventually, if you’re not already, you’re going to get out of that 9 to 5 job you loathe, so we can probably nix the co-worker situation, but there are still plenty of instances where you’re going to have to deal with people you don’t like.

Maybe you don’t like the waitress at the restaurant you frequent or your doctor you visit or whatever.

That doesn’t mean you ignore any of the information about emotional control and remaining relaxed in consistent chill we talked about.

As a matter of fact, dealing with people you don’t like is the ultimate test of your emotional maturity. If you can handle those you can barely tolerate with poise and grace, you can certainly flourish when it comes with those who actually like you.

Remember, it’s not about getting to “like” each other, it’s about staying strong, stoic, and poise. It’s about embracing your laziness and staying laid-back, no matter how much this person grinds your gears.

Be transparent about your decision-making. Explain the why.

Back to being demanding (and avoiding that), if you do make a decision and can’t or won’t take the other person’s feedback or input, explain why you did what you did or are going to do what you’re going to do.

Don’t leave them in the dark. Just be up front and honest. It may hurt them a bit, initially, but it’s much better than the long, slow pain of figuring out what in the actual fuck just took place.

“Ghosting”, as an example, is a pretty common thing in the dating world now. One person decides they’re not interested in the other and instead of using big boy/girl words and saying “Hey, I’m going to stop talking to you. I’m not really interested,” they just disappear (like a ghost) and completely stop responding or saying anything.

It leaves the other person wondering “WTF happened?”

Similarly, there’s cheating. One person is unhappy in the relationship and instead of having the conversation of “Hey, I’m not happy anymore. We’re breaking up.” they act like everything’s okay and meanwhile sneak behind the other’s back to sleep with someone else.

Whatever pain you’re trying to prevent by not being straightforward about your intention is multiplied when you try to hide it. Remember that.

Constructive feedback: empathize, share opinion, offer solutions for change.

Earlier we talked about how you must be open to receiving constructive criticism, and briefly touched on how “calling out bullshit” is a two-way street.

Well, in calling out on someone’s bullshit, there’s an effective way and not so effective way to do it.

The not so effective way would be to berate them and make them feel bad until they admit they were wrong. It never works and usually ends up in a fight.

The effective way would be to first empathize with them a bit and see things from their perspective, then share your opinion (why you think it’s bullshit), and finally, offer some sort of solution.

You want to set the tone of “I understand why you did what you did, but you could do better and here’s how”. Let them know you understand why they did what they did, but make it clear you want them to change and exactly what steps they need to take in order to do that.

Fix conversations before they break beyond repair.

Let go of blame. Focus on resolution rather than being right. There’s no need to escalate things into a heated argument. There’s no need to “win”.

Tension is inevitable, but drama is a choice. Try to steer things towards solving the issue at hand, rather than “getting the upper hand”. You may be wrong, in some sense.

Fess up to your fuck ups, let it go, and focus on how to move forward. The longer you try to get the other person to tell you you’re right, the longer you stagnate growth and forward motion.

It’s the both of you versus the issue, not versus each other. Make it a co-op mission, not a competitive one. Seek to attain a common goal, instead of victory over another.

Enhance your natural communication style.

Take a step back, procrastinate with purpose, and examine your strong points when communicating as well as your weak points. Upgrade strengths. Eliminate weaknesses

Are you good at listening but falter in expressing your own emotions?

Really take a hard look at yourself and ask “What am I doing well?” then try to enhance those features. Ask “What could I improve?” and do what you can to level up and put a stop to your weak behavior.

Before doing any sort of self improvement, you have to know where you’re at. You’re responsible for making your own

No sense focusing on controlling your anger if you’re already a pretty calm person naturally, for example. Put your effort where it’s necessary to improve. Don’t practice a certain act of communication and emotional management just to practice. Practice with purpose.

Wrapping up

While knowing people skills may of course benefit your own life personally, no doubt. On the larger scale, it can make a helluva difference.

Look at the world on a political spectrum. The “United” States has never been so divided. Both sides are always arguing and never really coming up with solutions. People don’t know how to hold a mature conversation with someone, without letting their emotions and accusations fly. We end up creating a bigger gap between us and that’s no bueno.

Change happens one person at a time. Be that one person.

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The Police Need to Calm Down

6/10/2020

1 Comment

Police are too on-edge. They’re unruly, quick to decision-making, impulsive. They have absolutely no “chill”.

I know it sounds like I’m generalizing, but the good ones don’t call the bad ones out, and that’s one of the fundamental issues.

They get “worked up” way too easily and fail to remain relaxed in moments of pressure. They have absolutely no calm over their stress and quite honestly act like children in costumes than adults with a job.

They need to embrace the Lazy Mindset and take the slow n’ steady path towards solving issues instead of quickly jolting to pull that trigger as soon as possible. They need to be able lean back and examine the scene entirely before barging in recklessly with a lethal weapon...or knee.

They need to procrastinate their decision before firing half a dozen round of bullets into a naked man’s chest. They need to seriously chill the fuck out and be able to, I don’t know, actually handle an emergency.

I can’t believe I actually have to write those words. That’s like saying “a chef should be able to cook” or “an auto mechanic should be able to fix cars”. Obvious shit, man. I mean...

I don’t think it’s too far-fetched to say “a police officer should be able to handle emergencies.” That’s literally what he signed up to do! We’re putting people in the police force that CAN’T handle emergencies and then letting him get away with it. These people can’t do their jobs and are given the pass.

If there is anyone, any sort of role that should be able to remain calm at all times, it’s a police officer. Yet, somehow, that’s not the case in this country.

Police brutality. It’s an issue that has been going on for years.

BLM tried to protest against it peacefully.They tried kneeling during the National Anthem to say “black people are being killed by the police and that’s not what this country is about.”

But they were told that they were being unpatriotic. They were told that “all lives matter” and their point is moot.

Look, the reason that they were kneeling is not the same reason others were standing. It wouldn’t have hurt to ask: Hey why are you kneeling?

That would have started this cool thing called a “discussion”, but that’s not something people who disliked the idea of kneeling during the National Anthem wanted to participate in.

Instead, they just assumed it was out of disrespect for the military and the people that fought for their freedom. (And when you assume, it makes an Ass out of U and ME) . Ironically, you had people defending the “kneeling” of a murderer who choked Floyd to death.

Straight up: No one in BLM was kneeling to disrespect the military. That’s not what it was about at all. The kneeling was about making a statement on how fair the police were abusing their power, especially towards black people

It was actually a veteran who suggested to Colin Kapernick to “take a knee”, so chew on that for a moment. Besides, kneeling is a sign of respect. Sort of how you kneel and pray before the big daddy in the sky.

But anyway, the NFL went as far as fining players who chose to kneel during the National Anthem. Conservatives cheered “that’s the company policy. They can do what they want.”

Later, after all these riots and burning buildings, the NFLtried to backpedal a bit and said they “were wrong” and “should have listened”. Yeah, they should have.

While I’m not justifying the riots nor am I saying that destruction of city buildings is okay, I can understand the anger. They were almost left with no choice. I mean, they had tried so hard for so long to get some sort of justice, some sort of fair treatment, some sort of protection from the one is charge of “protecting” them in the first place...only to watch police officers *ahem* murderers in blue uniform, walk away with a slap on the wrist at best and paid leave at worst. There’s only so much unjust bullshit people can take before they lose it and...riot!

When you corner an animal, it’s gonna bite. When you leave a person with no choice but to retaliate violence with violence, when you fail to listen to their grievances, they’re gonna make you listen in whatever way they can.

It seems that the only way authorities were willing to listen was after stores were being looted, was after buildings were burnt to ash, was after people were quite frankly pissed off and had enough shit.

Now the officers involved with George Floyd’s death are being jailed. Now an officer who pushed an old man at a protest is being charged. Now justice is being served.

It seems that the peaceful protests were futile and these riots were, unfortunately, helpful in waking authorities up and fix things. Again, I don’t condone violence in any way. It’s not the lazy way. But to ignore how effective it’s been in pushing fair treatment forward would be blind.

I mean what happened in response to the peaceful kneeling and nonviolent protests?
They required officers to wear body cams. That’s really about it.

But body cams didn’t do shit. Body cams, if anything, allowed people to see even more evidence/video footage of police officers doing a shitty job at being a police officer and shooting innocent people with no legitimate reason.

There was still no justice. There was still no fix for the fundamental problem.

Despite the dozens of videos showing trigger happy cops taking the life of innocent people, none of these officers faced any real punishment.

And worse? They were often defended in their actions. Not a single cop came out and said “that guy fucked up as a cop.” Nope. Instead, it was something to the effect of “he did what was necessary, his life was threatened, or, my favorite “the guy was RESISTING ARREST...blahdy blahdy blah!”

Cops’ Behavior is Unacceptable.

In NO other industry would such trigger happy behavior be accepted. None. At all. Yet we excuse police officers for

Think about all the low-wage workers that have to deal with the “Karens” on a daily basis. From refusing to pay for a coffee that she has to make herself and it’s “not her job” to do so to refusing to follow store policy and enter a grocery store with a mask on, there are just shitty self-entitled people in this world who offer no respect.

But the workers at the store can’t pull out a gun and shoot the bitchy customer or throw a hot cup of coffee in their face for acting, well...bitchy. They have to remain calm and handle the situation with poise and grace.

Imagine the backlash if everytime a retail or restaurant customer started yelling, someone on staff put a bullet in their skull to shut them up. You wouldn’t hear the end of it! And that specific business would certainly shut down, or at the very least, the staff involved would not only lose their jobs but face heavy legal repercussions.

Imagine if people used the same arguments as they do for cops though. “You should know not to piss off a cashier. When you upset a cashier, you just risked your life.” Sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it. Well it sounds just as ridiculous when you replace the word “cashier” with “cop.”

It doesn’t matter how “stressful” the situation is or how “bad” the customer is acting, in no way does whatever sort of circumstance happening warrant wielding a gun and firing multiple shots just to teach the person a lesson.

Yet people argue that a police officer’s job is “oh so stressful.” I’m sure it is. But that doesn’t give them the right to act out billergerently. That doesn’t give them the right to justify their immoral actions. They should know better. It’s their job to know better. It’s their job to literally handle crisis effectively, rationally, not act on impulse.. Yet it seems the people who should be able to handle crisis best (police officers) are actually the worst at it.

A cashier at Wal-Mart or barista at Starbucks is expected to practice a higher level of emotional control than the average police officer, someone apparently trained on how to handle emergencies.

If you can’t handle the heat of the kitchen, then stay out. And if you can’t handle the “stress” of being a police officer and wind up killing someone innocent, then turn in your badge and stay the fuck out of the job of “protecting people”.

But they were NOT innocent!

Some of the victims of getting murdered by cops were in fact criminals. But okay, let’s take a look at this, shall we?

Things like selling untaxed cigarettes or using a counterfeit $20 bill. Woah, big crimes there.

What’s the punishment for that though? Death? ….really?
Not only capital punishment but one without a trial. Just instant death.

What kind of back ass water country you tryin’ to live in here?
Should we chop off your hand if you steal a candy bar too?

And if he was resisting arrest?
First of all, he was resisting choking to death. There’s a difference.
Second, there are definitely about a dozen and a half non-lethal ways to handle that sort of thing, mmm k pumpkin?

I’m not even a cop, but I can definitely think of ways to not kill a person when they’re resisting arrest. Death should certainly NOT be the consequence for refusing to put on handcuffs.

Let’s not forget about Brock Turner who literally raped an unconscious girl behind a dumpster. He happened to be white. He just got a slap on the wrist again, a few months in jail and a “Oh just don’t rape again” sort of thing.

I don’t know where your morals lie, but I’m bargaining to think that using fake money is maybe, kind of, at least a little, less serious than ya know, rape!

The police are supposed to be protectors of the people NOT deadly enforcers. While certainly, crime cannot go unpunished, I don’t like the policy of “kill all criminals” (or people who MIGHT be a criminal, for that matter).

NOT All Police. Just a few bad apples!

I feel I should mention, in case I haven’t made it clear enough already: there are good police officers out there. In fact, I’d wager that most of them want to stand up for justice and do what is right.

The problem lies in that fact that the good ones don’t call out the bad ones. They even go as far as defending them. There’s this sort of “brotherhood pact” where all cops stick up for each other no matter what, and that needs to stop.

Cops need to call each other out on their bullshit. If there’s a cop and he’s not making the most rational decision in an emergency, if he’s literally murdering an innocent civilian, cops need to have the calm courage to say “That cop is a bad cop” in the same way a musician might go to a local bar and see an awful band perform and be like “that guitarist is a bad guitarist.”

He wouldn’t defend him and say “Well, it’s a nerve-wrecking situation being up on stage. You never know how the crowd will react.”

Like no, shut up. His guitar is out of tune. He’s a bit too drunk to sing in key. He sucks! He’s giving all other guitarists a bad rep.

If you can’t honestly call someone out on their bullshit, then you’re just as terrible as they are.

The Catholic Church tried to cover up pedophiles and now the police with murderers.

Again, that’s not to say all cops are abusers or murderers or bad people, but the ones that are, deserve to be reprimanded by their own “brothers” in the police force.

Applauding “the good cops” is like applauding a good waitress. Like, she greeted me with a friendly smile. She kept good small talk.She didn’t even throw the mashed potatoes at me when she served my dinner!

Meeting the expectations of your job doesn’t warrant a “participation trophy.” You did your job the way you’re supposed to. Good on you.

These “good cops” are the ones doing their jobs the way they are supposed to.

Bad People WANT to Be Cops

If I’m a bad person, if I’m racist, bigotted, or just terribly sadistic and enjoy torturing or murdering others, I’m gonna look at cops, see how they get away with that shit, and be like “I can kill people and not face any sort of punishment. I can just say they were resisting arrest and look at that. I’ll be free of charge.”

Seeing all the videos of cops literally murdering people on screen and not getting any sort of legal repercussions, if I’m a bad person, I’m gonna be like “Wow, I can live the thug life, I can do all the sick things I want to and hurt other people, without facing any of the consequences of the law.”

While not all cops are bad, bad people are going to be attracted to becoming one because it offers them protection from consequences when committing horrendous acts. Society literally sent the message that cops stand above the law.

If you’re enforcing the law, you should probably abide by it as well. Just sayin’. Hold yourself accountable to your own standards.

When I think of the people I want to keep me safe from harm, I want the most moral and just people, not someone who is attracted to the power that comes with holding such a position and can easily abuse their power.

There Needs to be a Focus on De-escalation

Most of the training hours for the police force are spent in the shooting range. We wonder why there are so many cases of police shooting civilians. Well...

We’re literally training cops to shoot!!

If most of the time in Police Training is spent aiming and firing at at targets, what’s the first thing that’s gonna be on their mind in a hectic situation?

Pulling the trigger, of course!

Instead of practicing their firearm skills so much, what they should really practice, what they should really adhere to is remaining calm and using de-escalation skills.

Cops are barely trained right now to deal with drama. They don’t know how to simmer down someone acting reckless without stopping his heart.

They’re basically told: “You might have to shoot, so here’s how you shoot.”...and so they shoot or kill in some other fashion.
Really they should be told “only shoot if you ABSOLUTELY need to and even then, procrastinate the shooting and wait ‘til the last second.”

I understand there are some dangerous situations a cop may find himself in, but they need to learn to relax and not treat every single person like some sort of threat to their life, especially if they’re unarmed and naked.

They need to be able to “read the room” and read body language. I’m no professional psychologist (or police officer for that matter), but I can tell in that George Floyd video that the man is literally begging for his life, not attempting some sort of ruse.

I mean unless the dude is some sort of Oscar award-winning actor, you can tell he’s legitimately losing life force in his breath and crying for help. Cops should be able to recognize this.

Like if me, a lazy dude, can see in someone’s body language that they’re not trying to pull a fast one or whatever, so should a “professional” crisis handler.

They’re treating civilians like they are prisoners in the concentration camps, giving either torture or death as a punishment for not “falling in line” correctly.

The justice department shouldn’t be about forcing citizens to “fall in line”. It should be about protecting those citizens.

Even if that means, the cop has to put aside his frail little Ego and power-hunger for a second to save a life. And if anything, they should value the lives of others over their own.

In Canada, the police, before they start their shift and go out on patrol, take the time to meditate and ease their mind. They put themselves in a state of peace first thing, so that they can better handle the stresses coming their way.

I think we oughta take the cue from our northern neighbors in the states and have cops embrace their inner calmness, their inner-laziness, before starting their day.

Violence is NOT the Answer.

Despite all the peaceful protests, there wasn’t enough change until after things heated up in riots.

The officers involved with George Floyd’s death have been charged and jailed.

That’s a step. But still not enough. We need a fundamental fixing to this whole thing.

They’re protecting property, not people. The deaths of the innocent were not enough to make the changes we need to see.

A few ruptured buildings though? Well now things gotta change! Now this is an important issue! Now everything that's been talked about for years must be made a priority!

It’s sad to see how authorities value assets more than human life. While it’s great to see steps towards change, it’s unfortunate that it took damaged property to make that happen, as if black lives weren’t enough over all these years.

I won’t go as far as to say that “the violence was necessary” but it certainly did get people in positions of power to finally, FINALLY listen (not as if we haven’t been trying to make a statement, peacefully, for quite a while).

I’d venture to say that the combination of cabin fever from quarantine and people’s already built up resentment of police brutality made George Floyd’s story the final straw. You can’t force lock everyone inside and then demonstrate that cops are still killing people without them wanting to barge out on the streets in rage.

The entire justice system needs to be re-worked and hopefully cops can learn to relax in their laziness instead of pull the trigger.

Meanwhile, the entire public is torn. Everyone’s arguing for their “side”.

We’re on the verge of a civil war. The United States has never been so divided.

On top of that, we’re still in the midst of a global pandemic, with the CDC saying that the riots are “breeding grounds” for COVID-19.

Hopefully we can lean back and listen to each other this time, before it escalates even further, even more destructive, even worse.

We need to realize there is no “side” and all these fights of race, gender, political party, is all to keep us fighting amongst ourselves, instead of fighting for what is right and fair for everyone.

We all want the same thing. Peace. Harmony. We want happiness for all.

But we keep trying to separate ourselves and trying to find reasons to be different, reasons to disagree.

And instead of talking, we fight. We call each other names. We riot on the street. Just to get each other to listen.

But what if we just stop. Wait. Procrastinate. And actually fucking listen for once.

Listen to the grievances of others. Understand them. I mean, we could have avoided this whole flaming riot thing had people done that in the first place during the peaceful “take a knee” protests.

But no, people couldn’t listen and had to raise more drama about patriotism and whatnot. You can’t eliminate drama with more drama.

We want our cops to be able to de-escalate crisis and handle it with poise and grace, to analyze the whole situation before acting recklessly.

Perhaps we need to look at ourselves and be able to do the same between one another.

Like cops, we can’t assume the other person is the bad guy just because we feel threatened or hurt or insulted. We have to be able to actually look at what’s going on and understand the other person’s perspective, understand their struggle.

Actually listen when he says “I can’t breathe.” Don’t keep kneeling on him to the ground. Don’t assume your life is in danger.

We have to ask ourselves. Do we really want to set the streets ablaze every time we make a point?

Do we really want people out on the streets wielding machine guns and storming state capitols every time they want to make theirs?

A lot of this drama could all be avoided if we took the time to lean back and listen to one another, instead of posting memes that insult the other “side”.

Stop taking sides. There’s one side. Human beings. That’s the side we’re all on. This isn’t a competition. This isn’t a challenge.

If you want others to listen to your grievances, then you must offer the same favor in return. You can’t be heard if you never let anyone else be heard.

You can choose to listen or choose to keep fighting and get more intense. I say we take the slow n’ steady path, as always.

Take it easy,

N8

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