Your alarm goes off in the morning. You wake up, groggily, look at your phone as it screams at you and the birds are singing an overzealous annoying tune. You wish the world would shut up and let you continue to sleep. Sleep, it feels so good.
The blinding bright light of the sunrise burns your retina. With blurry vision, you manage to swipe the screen to hit snooze hit snooze, wishing it were a button for a time machine that’ll bring you back to a couple days ago while you were off -- a happier time and place. Alas, this is no longer your dream where you have magical time-traveling super powers or a TARDIS in your pocket, this is corporate reality.
You roll over, pulling the blanket over your head, trying to hide from the Monday, trying to dodge the inevitable doom. You start mumbling for it to go away in a raspy dried out breath, lingering a scent of liquor, pizza, and wings you splurged on the previous few nights.
You catch a few more minutes of 40 winks, milking the last bit of the weekend for what it’s worth, but the snooze is over in what feels like seconds. Time flies when you’re being lazy. And your alarm rings again. After *at least* three more times of hitting the snooze again, and cursing at it louder each time, you finally FUCKING face the fact that the weekend is over and it’s time to get up.
What is it that we hate so much about Mondays?
I mean it’s really just another day in the week in the grand scheme of things. It’s no better or worse than any other day out of the seven. If we have Labor Day or Memorial Day (or any other holiday) off on a Monday, or we go on vacation, for example, then Monday isn’t all that bad.
As a matter of fact, a day off during a Monday is actually-- well, quite enjoyable. That’s quite bizarre considering throughout most of the year, Monday is a deep source of loathing.Unless Monday is a day for our own leisure, unless we can decide what to do on Monday for ourselves, it is the worst day of the week.
You soon realize the Antagonist of the Tale of Your Work Week is not Monday itself; the evil source comes from something bigger.
Monday is just the scapegoat, not the GIANT demonic entity itself.
If we have off on Monday, Tuesday easily becomes the day we hate (or Wednesday or Thursday, you get the gist); it becomes our enemy instead.
So why is it that, other than the few exceptions throughout the year, we hate Mondays so much?
What attributes does it have that makes it seem so...dare I say: MON-sterous?
We have to look at the makeup of Monday, really dissect it and understand its anatomy to be able to see what we’re really showing distaste toward and not just kick an innocent bystander just because he looked at us the wrong way and happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Earlier, I made a post about the “Monday woes” and one of my followers,Max, had this to say:
We hate the redundancy - the boring flat routine. We want variety in our life. We want control over our time and work flow. We want leisure.
During the weekend, we have all those luxuries of laziness and “Mondays” (the day we get back into the ordinary structure of our lives) take that away from us and remind us that we’re someone else’s “task monkey”, as Robin Singh describes it. (Go ahead and listen to that interview with him, if you haven't already)
We’re given a schedule to follow and a list of goals to complete and a way to go about doing them. We’re told how much value each of our hours are worth and how to spend each second of it. We're programmed like a machine, given step-by-step instructions like a task monkey.
It’s a limiting situation and not laziness; laziness is freedom. That’s why we enjoy our lazy weekend. It allows us to be in our true form -- a procrastinator and do whatever it is that makes us feel at ease in our own time and preference of location, when and where we choose to.
Brandon Selby of PassiveTools and Better Bits Club says this about Mondays:
I like the laid back good vibe attitude. People are depressed and miserable on Monday. Usually because most people are forced to start their work on Monday. It's the pressure and obligation that people despise, not the day itself. I mean that's all it is: a day.
It’s what we associate with that day that brings about resentment. Saying fuck Mondays is saying "fuck what I have to do. I want to do what I want" and I think that's a beautiful (lazy) mindset to have.
In other words, if your brain is telling you how much Mondays suck, what it's really telling you is "Hey! Quit trying to meet these arbitrary deadlines. Slow down, dude. You're panicking and stressing out for no good damn reason."
Once you see Monday as just a day, you're free to do what you want with it. You don't gotta do a goddamn thing just cause it's Monday and your boss says it's time to work. Time to work is whenever you want. Recognizing that you don't like "Mondays" is a step toward valuing your own time, a step toward procrastinating with purpose.
Don’t make Monday a scapegoat for your resentment of lack of control and tireless hard work.
Nip it in the butt and target the real enemy: corporate slavery. If they own your time, they own you. Don't let anyone own your time.
Be lazy and make Monday what you want it to be, even if that’s snoozing all day then waking up mid afternoon to binge a bit of Netflix.
It may not be productive, but you can learn productivity and implement it later. Eventually, when you feel like it. For now, take back your Monday.
Don’t worry about losing your job or paying you bills; the chains aren’t worth it. You are a procrastinator and you are free to do with your time as you will.
If you do decide to get up and go to work on Monday to your day job, it’s because you want to and not because you feel indebted to do so. You are not enslaved by anyone and no one can force you to work.
Fuck Mondays and Fuck not doing what you want with your own time.