When it comes to getting what we want, we're often held back by our own doubts, our own obsession with getting things "right" and imagining our failure to do so. We’re bound by our own fears of not gaining approval from others. Fuck it.
Other times, we makes a mistake or get rejected. Yeah, Fuck that too.
First, being “right” is a terrible principle to live by. You’re an idiot. Just admit it. You get things wrong sometimes and you’re gonna continue to get things wrong in the future. You can’t always be right. You’re gonna make mistakes. Stop trying to delusion yourself into thinking you already know everything or even should know everything. No one does and we all make mistakes. We all are idiotic sometimes. Don’t aim to be right. Aim to be honest. Honestly express yourself by going after what you want, despite potential “wrongs” that may occur.
Second, approval is worthless. I mean totally utterly worthless. Nothing makes you more boring, and quite frankly dishonest, as a person than building your life and personality to cater towards what other people want, or what you think they want. It places your own internal value on others and makes you feel unworthy and unfulfilled. It puts you in a place of living your life through the eyes of others, rather than your own. Seek your own vision rather than the approval of others.
So when you see something you want, you fear you won’t “get it right” or won’t earn the proper approval of others.
Look, you have a choice to make. You can either give into those doubts and watch what you desire slip away, never taking the opportunity to embrace it, never knowing if it were to be either a success or failure, never placing yourself in a place of vulnerability in order to attain what you want.
Or you can detach yourself from the outcome. Let go of your worries and fears. Embrace the Lazy Mindset of total cool, calm confidence. Stop lying to yourself or trying to convince yourself that you don’t actually want the thing anyway. Release your stress and anxieties and say "Fuck it"
You may think you're not good enough, not strong enough, not smart enough, not attractive enough, not charming enough to take a step towards a goal or opportunity.
Tell that voice inside your head: "Fuck it. We're doing it anyway."
Stop caring so much about the outcome. Stop heavily investing yourself emotionally into what can or can’t happen, in what you cannot control. Emotions only help you make bad decisions and give up opportunities if you completely rely on them.
It's not so much about getting things perfect or even close to what you imagine, it's about being able to handle it if you don't.
And fuck it, you can handle it. You can handle rejection. You can handle mistakes. You can handle people not liking you.
Don't let your emotional Doubting Voice convince you otherwise. Your Doubting Voice is fueled by hardwired survival instincts and it's trying to tell you that if you don't succeed in the task *flawlessly*, you will die.
Spolier Alert: No matter how daunting the task may seem, no matter how much you mess up, you're NOT gonna die (unless the task wrestling a grizzly bear or some shit)
It's no big deal. It's all part of the flow and the flow gets a bit wavy sometimes. Whatever, you're in it for the ride, not the landing on the shore. Even if you get knocked over a bit, still, not gonna die. It's all good.
Focus on the experience itself rather than the final destination. That's called living
The moment you begin to add volume to the Doubting Voice in your head is the moment you already fail. Congrats! You avoided death, when death wasn't even a consequence of the situation.
Quiet down that voice by shouting over it: "FUCK IT!"
Use that inner voice of confidence of strength to overpower the one of weakness.
See a beautiful woman on the street but fear you're "out of her league"?
Fuck it. Go up and talk to her.
Want to start playing an instrument but doubt you'll ever get any good?
Fuck it. Pick it up and start playing.
Have a killer business idea but are worried it might fail?
Fuck it. Launch the business.
Dream of having a YouTube channel but get nervous about how you look on camera?
Fuck it. Start recording.
Disagree with a friend or partner but don't want to hurt their feelings?
Fuck it. Be honest.
You'll try to excuse yourself with lines of "I don't feel like it," telling yourself you're too lazy to even try.
No, you're not lazy. You're just fucking scared. You're a scared little wuss. You're emotionally a goddamn scared little child, trying to hide away from potential consequences of making mistakes.
You’re scared of failure. Scared of what you cannot control
Scared of people's critical or harsh opinions of you. Scared of getting rejected. Scared of not being liked. Scared of...DEATH!
See, in the hunting and gathering days of our ancestors, being rejected meant certain death. It was a harsh wilderness and nearly impossible to survive alone. You’d either get hunted by an animal or killed by a tribe. You needed your own tribe for protection. You needed a group of people for survival and thus needed approval of said group. Similarly, taking high risks in this primal time, could lead to getting mauled to death by a predator. Thus, moving outside our “comfort zone” alerts our brains of potential “danger”. We panic and feel fear in these situations.
In sum, we developed these survival instincts to..
- Seek Approval (of a “tribe”)
- Avoid High Risk Situations
Unfortunately, our brain hardware is a bit outdated in the modern world. The stakes of rejection or moving toward an opportunity aren’t as detrimental as it was for our ancestors. Worst case scenario, they say “no” and you move on. You won’t die. You have all the resources necessary to survive on your own in the modern day and age. You don’t need approval. Worst case scenario, your goal doesn’t go as planned and you have to try another way to get there. You won’t die. Instead, you get to learn from your mistakes and thrive better in the future.
Our brains don’t know the difference between a real threat to our life and an imagined one. In most situations where you find yourself feeling those survival instincts of anxiousness, it’s nothing but imagined danger. in other words, problems usually aren't as big as you imagine them to be. Whatever the result, you’ll be okay. You’ll live another day.
When those apprehensive feelings shout at you not to take a step forward, tell your brain to shut the fuck up and you got this. Relax. Be actually lazy. Have the attitude that most things are not a big deal (which they aren't by the way).
Laziness is a state of relaxation. Laziness is remaining calm under pressure. Laziness is actually saying and doing what you want rather than "working hard" to fulfill the status quo. Laziness is finding comfort in your true thoughts and feelings, rather than in what earns the approval of others. Laziness is remaining poised because you know mistakes and rejection aren't going to kill you. Laziness is emotional maturity. Laziness is simply not giving a fuck.
Stop trying to protect your frail little kid inside you, your loud little Ego, by playing it safe.
Stop lying to yourself and others instead of being open, honest, and vulnerable.
If you see someone you find attractive and don't approach them, you're not being true to yourself.
If you're working a desk job you hate, and would rather be doing something else for a living, but refuse to start a new career, you're not being true to yourself.
If you have goals but you're not going after them (slow n steady), you're not being true to yourself.
Stop listening to your primal Doubting Voice that's telling you everything you attempt is a life or death situation.
Stop listening to your lying little bastard of an Ego that's telling you to say and do things you don't really mean in order to please others and project a certain image.
Stop listening to your inner child that's telling you to yell, kick, scream, run in fear, and throw temper tantrums when you don't get what you want.
Stop giving too much of a fuck to pointless shit.
Instead listen to the Lazy Voice who's telling you to "Calm the fuck down . Fuck it. You can be honest with what you want. You can be yourself. It ain't so bad. Even if things don't go the best, it'll be chill"
Look, worst case scenario you don't get exactly what you want, but because you're "going with the flow”, because you're completely "unfazed" by the outside world, and unattached to any particular outcome, it's not about "getting" anything and your fine no matter what happens.
Fuck it before it fucks you. Don't live a life of regret. Live a life of "I tried and it was fun"
The hectic outside world and all of its bustle does not effect the inner calm and peace within you.
The uncontrolled events of the outer do not control the controlled Lazy Mindset of the inner.
Fucked up? Fuck it.
Not everyone likes you? Fuck it.
Shit hit the fan? Fuck it.
Stop worrying. Don't get caught up in the negative emotions of a situation. Life is a comedy, not a drama. Say fuck it and laugh it off . Say "Mistakes are Meh" and move on. Say "Fuck It, Whatever." Enjoy the entertainment while you're here.
Sometimes shitty things happen and sometimes things beyond your control take a turn for the worse or smack you in the face with a heavy palm of the unexpected.
Fuck it, it really doesn't matter. None of it matters.
After all, it's not about getting it right or getting it perfect or even "getting", period. It's not about controlling the outcome or every detail of your life. It's not about winning approval of others or earning fame. It's not about accumulating wealth or leaving behind a prosperous estate.
It's about experiencing.It's about being an actual human being with their own actual desires and feelings that may or may not fit the mold of everybody else, that may or may not fit societal expectations. It's about taking risks "just to see what happens" and having fun with whatever does happen.
It's about Giving who you are to others, to the universe, by being true to your Lazy Self.
It's about LIVING.
Ironically, the very instinct (the Doubting Voice inside your head) trying to keep you alive is the very instinct that puts you in a Dead state of mind.
Remember that and say Fuck It, I'm gonna live and be a gift to the world!
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