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In the past few weeks, we’ve been breaking down the L.A.Z.Y. Mindset. It’s a success module built by a lazy man for the lazy man. Each letter of L.A.Z.Y. denotes a principle to follow in order to live a relaxed, easy-going life, all while making your way to success, without even trying. The word itself “lazy” also implies the overarching theme of the whole structure, reminding you to always embrace your laziness in everything you do.
Laziness is not a weakness, but a superpower. And like all superpowers, you must learn to control it, not let it control you. It’s not a matter of avoiding using your superpower (it’s not about NOT being lazy) to begin with, it’s about knowing how and when to use it. We use laziness to our advantage. Anyway, as cheesy as it might sound to use some sort of acronym, the fact of the matter is, it’s one of the easiest ways to memorize large chunks of information. See, instead of studying hard to master a large knowledge base, which takes a ridiculous amount of work (the enemy of a procrastinator), you just one remember one simple word: LAZY... and then can recall all the information you need. Our brains are like machines and you’re the operator. You just press the right buttons and lean on back as the work takes care of itself. You don’t have to try hard or do hard or even think hard. Your brain works best when you organize bulk information in these sort of different departments (like each letter in LAZY)...But that’s another article for another time. Today, we’re continuing our deep dive analysis of the LAZY Mindset and moving on to the next principle: Zonk Out. Before we get started, I want to point out something important. See, these next two principles are a bit different than the first two, Leisure and Aloofness in a noteworthy way. While Leisure and Aloofness are mental frameworks, detailing the type of attitude you want to have when you approach everyday situations in life, Zonk Out and Yawn (the next couple principles) are geared towards providing you with “go to” methods that allow you to communicate those attitudes. It’s the action (or ‘inaction” probably better stated) behind the words. Leisure and Aloofness come first in our module because they are the foundation; they are how we think and why we think that way. It’s important to have the right frame of mind first before diving into what to actually do. As a matter of fact, if you master the art of Leisure and Aloofness, Zonking Out and Yawning (which we’ll cover later) will come natural to you. If you think like a procrastinator, you will in fact act like one too! If anything, reading these next two parts of the Lazy mindset module, if you’ve already fully got the knack of remaining Aloof always and embracing your Leisure sometimes, will, if anything, provide further clarity in what you were already thinking. It’ll just confirm that you’re doing the right thing and you’re thinking the right thoughts. It’ll confirm that you truly know how to think LAZY. You’ll think to yourself “Yeah man, I knew that’s what I should do.” Now if you’re not at that level yet, if you haven’t fully become one with your inner spirit sloth, if the methods I’m about to share seem a little bizarre, that’s okay. You’ll get there...eventually. It’ll all make sense and one day you’ll just “get it”. In the meantime, knowing to Zonk Out and to Yawn will give you a direction and goal to aim towards. It’ll allow you to keep in mind what it is you should be actually *doing* and not just thinking. But again, understanding the mental attitude is where you need to focus. After all, ya gotta make the groundwork before building the whole structure. While the information I’m about to share with you will set you on the right path towards making the right decisions and taking the right actions, all of it is quite frankly void without the underlying mental frame behind it. See, it’s not about rehearsing a series of lines or performing a scripted set of stunts. It’s about fully embracing your laziness so you know how to act in any scenario, ever. Once you have the right mental frame, the Lazy Mindset, you’ll be able to adapt to whatever man. That’s why you must, first and foremost, level up your inner before worrying about the outer. I mean what happens when you’re out of lines and gimmicks? What happens when there’s a situation that hasn’t been covered? You’ll be scratching your head, wondering what to do. You’ll be left stumped. Uh oh! Lines, step by step “to dos”, routines -- those are just surface level things. You must dive deeper than that. You must have a strong deep inner sloth established before doing the actions associated with being a PRO-crastinator. The outer reflects the inner, ya dig? The things you do and words you say (on the outside) has a lot to do with what you’re thinking on the inside. You can’t be thinking “If I do this, then that.” It’s not some sort of calculation or formula. It’s not a guide to life. It’s a freaking MINDSET. No amount of words I write can get you to attain that sort of thing. That’s on you. I can gently lead you in the right direction to get there, but ultimately a mindset is something you must train yourself to adopt. You can’t just pick up a disk and install it in your brain. The laziness must come from *within*. The suggestions I’m about to make on what to do in order to be lazy and get away with it, are nothing more than ideas based on the fundamental attitudes we talked about (Leisure and Aloofness). If you read this particular blog article and begin to think to yourself “that’s exactly what I’d do” as I suggest certain actions, then you’re on the right path. You’re letting the laziness flow through you. There’s no point in doing something if you don’t understand *why* you’re doing it in the first place. First of all, you’re gonna get lost. Second, you’re a person, a human fucking being. You have this cool thing called self reliance and don’t have to follow a certain set of instructions or lines of code. You can think and make a decision for yourself. Every decision you make is based on your current frame of mind. With the right frame of mind, that leads you to make the right decisions. Being told to “pick this” or follow a deadset list of “commandments” takes away What should I do in this situation? You need the right mental frame. Attitude first. Actions second. Period. We covered the Attitude section of the module with Leisure and Aloofness. We’re now moving on to the “Action” section of the module. In a way, Aloofness is the attitude *behind* Zonking Out. Zonking Out is the *action* behind the theory. *Now what does it mean to zonk out? * Certainly if we look at the literal definition it means to physically start sleeping almost instantaneously. And while that is something that a procrastinator does quite often, no doubt, when we say it here, it is more of a form of a metaphorical expression. See, by Zonking Out, you are disregarding the outside world and influences in order to do what you actually want, whether that’s to literally sleep or not. It’s taking authority over your life, and knowing when to Zonk, rather than sticking around to do things in order to live up to a certain standard or expectation. You do your own thing dude, regardless (the main idea behind being Aloof). Now we say Zonk Out because it’s a catchy phrase and makes it simple to know what to do and how to handle shit. By remembering to Zonk Out and all the things associated with it (sleeping, zoning out the outside world), we can easily remember the deeper implications of zonking out and why it's important to do under our module. Anyway, let’s continue, shall we? Having the ability to Zonk Out means having the ability to walk away and mean it That’s “the strongest position in a negotiation”, as Corey Wayne puts it. If you can walk away and not look back, that gives you so much raw power -- it's unbelievable. You basically say “here’s what I want. If you don’t like it, fine. Take it or leave it,” not necessarily verbatim like that but that’s the sort of attitude you want to achieve here. In fact, you could be a little more polite about it. We don’t want to go full asshole. Point is: You couldn’t care less if they go along with your little plan or not. If they do, great. If not, great! You remain calm either way. You know what it is you want. And if you don’t get exactly that, no big deal, you’ll find some other way to get it. Whatevs. You go with the flow. You're Not reliant on their agreement or approval. People that hesitate or back down in their decisions aren’t really respected all that much. You may “change your mind” to get someone to like you and even if they do end up liking you for whatever it is you did, they will certainly lose respect for you. Once they lose respect, it’s game over. That person will never look at you the same. You have like one single “give in” per person per life. Use it well. It’s better to be respected than it is to be liked. Don’t be approval seeking. Fuck it if people don’t like you or don’t like the way you want to do things. You’re not here to earn a thumbs up. You’re here to do whatever makes you happy. And don’t say helping other people makes me happy. It doesn’t At least not when you’re sacrificing you’re own sens of dignity and self worth in order to do so. It’s okay to be helpful. It’s not okay to be so helpful that you’re a helpless sap who can’t ever walk away or god forbid, say No once in a while. Don’t threaten to walk away either, just to get a reaction or to make them beg then end up begging yourself when they don’t react in the way you had intended. When you say you’re going to walk away, walk away. None of this manipulative bullshit. Keep it real, man and Zonk Out when you mean it. Zonking Out means you have a clear set of principles and boundaries that you don’t let people walk over. You must know what you won’t tolerate and be willing to cut out those who don’t follow suit. Don’t let someone stick around if they’re bringing down the party. Kick ‘em out of your house. Do you hate when people call you out for being late? Tell ‘em you do things on your schedule. Do you detest people that tell you to get a real job? Tell ‘em to stuff it. If someone isn’t abiding by your principles, you let ‘em know. You don’t let them get away with that shit. You are clear with what you expect and how you expect others to treat you. You don’t make an qualms, ifs, ands, and buts about it. If they say something that really gets under your skin, don’t lose composure. Stay cool and calm but say: “Hey I don’t like when you say that. Stop.” If they ain’t gonna abide the way you do, Zonk Out. Give e’m the boot. Walk away. Make it clear you ain’t got time for their bullshit. You got sleep to catch up on. Netflix series to watch. Their approval is not the focus of your life. Your own happiness is. Anyone that isn’t bringing you any sort of satisfaction, ZONKED! People will walk over you if you let them. They’ll test you. You’ll always be “tested”. They’ll try to get you to break, see if you’re truly LAZY or just pretending. They may try to criticize or say “I can’t believe you’d do that!” Of course, if you have the MENTAL FRAME ready, you’ll know what to do. You’ll know to just tell them “whatever, that’s how it is.” with a bright smile on your face as you lean back, all laxed. They can’t shake or break you. You don’t get out of bed easily, yet alone your mental frame. Zonking out doesn’t mean you’re completely oblivious to people’s bullshit. In fact, you call them out on it. You know when someone is straight lying to your face or trying to pull some sleezy sleight of the hand tactic. You see them switch their blinking pattern or eye contact frequency or maybe hear a change in the cadence of their voice. You spot it. You know it. You ain’t gonna put up with it. At all. You have a good bullshit detecter. Zero is the amount of bullshit you tolerate and Zero is the amount of bullshit you’ll get. People should know that you won’t let even the slightest hint of dishonesty slide by you. You want straight answers. If you ask a question and someone tries to dance around answers, you call them out on it. You tell them to give it to you straight. Tell them you don’t want to look through the rose colored glasses. You don’t want any fluff. You want the raw ass deal. That said, you trust others. You give them the benefit of the doubt until they’ve given you a reason not to trust them completely. Trust is not earned. It’s given. But easily taken away. Zonking Out means taking out bullshit from your life by being honest and expecting honesty from others. People don’t fuck with you if you easily Zonk Out People oughta know that when you say something, you ain’t sayin it just to fuck around. I mean it’s okay to joke but you’re not a total goofball to the point where no one takes you seriously, like, at all. You have a humorous side to you, sure, but know when to Zonk Out of that mode and get serious. People know when you say something, you ain’t sayin it half heartedly. You actually damn well mean it. You ain’t beatin around the bush or blowin’ sunshine up people’s asses. You’re keepin’ it real. You’re not approval seeking, people are seeking your approval. People don’t fuck with you unless you let them, so don’t let them and Zonk Out when necessary. To Zonk Out on one thing is to Zone In on another. There’s always something you are choosing over the thing that you Zonk Out on. You can’t Zonk Out on everything, because the fact of the matter is, you’re always choosing something, even if that’s just playing a video game on the couch instead of going out. Every time you Zonk Out, whether it’s to do a certain activity or maintain a principle of yours, you’re basically saying: “I’m not interested in that. I’m interested in this instead.” If someone wants a committed relationship, but you’re not ready for that sort of thing, you Zonk Out. You’re interested in something less serious over a commitment, as an example. If someone tells you to “get a real job”, tell them you’re interested in working from home instead. If someone asks something personal you don't feel comfortable sharing, tell them to mind their own business. Likewise, Zonk Out and don't be nosy with other people. That's gossip and gossip is drama. A big no no. Also, when it comes to your hobbies, be "in the zone" in what you do (fully in leisure), zonking out other distractions. Zonking Out gives you FREEDOM You have the freedom and the power to say NO. That’s a potent little word, isn’t it? A two letter word has so much potential in getting you what you want. As we said, Zonking Out, or saying “NO” to one thing, is Zoning In, or saying “YES” to another. Don’t be a YES man, agreeing to things you don’t really like or care for, just to put a smile on someone’s face. Use the word NO and don’t be afraid to say it. You are free to make choices. You Zonk Out and say NO to things you don’t want to do. You live a life of desire, not of obligation. To Zonk Out is to leave drama behind Drama is for hard workers. Literally it’s all about getting “worked” up. You, as a lazy procrastinator leave the drama for your mama. You don’t gossip. You Zonk Out of those type of conversations. You’re not interested. You prefer talking about ideas over people. You don’t let emotions go crazy. You remain calm and Zonk Out of the emotionally driven ego. You don’t escalate things beyond what they need to be. You remain cool, calm, and level-headed. If someone tries to push your buttons, boil your pot, or otherwise just flat out piss you off, you approach it all with poise and grace. While your firm in not tolerating bullshit, you don’t become fiery belligerent. You make expectations clear, but don’t go ballistic if people don’t meet them. Instead, you stay calm yet firm, and people respect that, which is what you want: respect. If you Zonk Out, you turn off the haters Haters gonna hate. Ain’t nothing you can do. Haters are secretly fans in denial. But seriously you Zonk Out whatever sort of misinformed criticism they throw at you. You don’t let any sort of mean words ro insults get under your skin. People have no effect on you. Again, focus on the inner, not the outer. Zonk out all the love you’re searching for in the outside world and find it within yourself. Zone in on that love for yourself. Be fully at your inner, fully in your sloth, fully at peace. Wrapping Up: In Zonking Out, you’re not completely ignorant to others, nor are you oblivious to their bullshit. Instead you know what you want, and get it, zonking out anything that doesn’t follow in that regard. Zonking Out, contrary to popular belief is focus. You are focused on what matters and don’t get caught up in the rest. Use the Zonk Out as a way to say NO to what doesn’t matter and YES to what actually does. Earn respect by Zonking out to anything or anyone that doesn’t match what you expect from others. Learn to have others meet your expectations rather than trying to live up to the expectations of others. Take it easy, N8
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The L.A.Z.Y. Mindset. It’s the mental framework of a professional sloth. That’s right: a PRO-crastinator! It helps you achieve success in your business, relationships, and personal life using as little effort as possible
Of course, there are many books and blogs written that cover such information. No doubt, I’m not the first person to write about such a topic. You could go ahead and Google “how to be successful the easy way” or similar terms. But what you’ll find is an overload of information. It can be confusing and overwhelming. You’ll find it doesn’t quite make it seem so simple after all -- just the pure amount of details you’ll be pouring over and trying to organize in your head can be quite staggering. None of the information out there really condenses “how to be successful” for the lazy man in such a way that makes it...actually simple. It’s as if you need to work hard to figure out how to NOT work hard. Ridiculous. We, as procrastinators, don’t want to work hard, for anything, yet alone figuring out how to do shit. All we want is simple, easy to follow information. The less effort required, the better. So that is my goal -- to provide you with easy, no bullshit or fluff info that will help you sleep your way to success. In saying that, we use an acronym because, well, acronyms make it easy to memorize large amounts of information. Rather than working hard to try and study specifics, we simply look at things from a broad perspective and see everything deep inside. In other words, you’ll be able to remember the details of an entire module just by thinking of the letter that it coordinates with. You put loads of information into separate “containers”, separate modules, that is, the letters of the acronyms, and can easily access that information for later. You’re not thinking of all these “if/then” scenarios or calculating accurate steps to take.You simply remember to be LAZY and know the ways to think, act, and speak in any given situation. See it’s not about thinking or working hard, it’s about thinking and working smart. Lazy is smart. It’s the act of minimizing effort and maximizing results. Lazy people find easy way to do things. LAZY is a way of life. It’s a system, a mindset. The word itself, “LAZY” denotes the overall theme or underlying principle of each step in the module. While each letter module of course has its own set of principles, the foundation of being “LAZY” helps you understand those particulars. In trying to attain Leisure, for example, you are also trying to be Lazy. In trying to be Aloof, you, likewise, are trying to be Lazy and so on and so forth. LAZY is the dough of the pizza and each specific letter is the different toppings. We basically have a recipe for Cowbunga success. If you want to understand the basics of this mindset, grab your FREE copy of the e-book. That right there is enough information and all you need. This article is designed to give you further insight and help you really grasp what it means to be LAZY. A few weeks back, we took a deep dive into the first module, Leisure, detailing why it’s important to rejuvenate yourself and how to actually go about doing it. Now, continuing our deep-dive into the LAZY Mindset, we’re gonna take a look at the second module: Aloofness. You may hear that word and think it’s something bad. You know, there’s this idea that being aloof means you have to be an asshole. Look, you don’t have to be an asshole, at least not a complete asshole. You just have to...not care. And I don’t mean don’t care at all. That would be a complete asshole. I just mean don’t care about bullshit. Care about things that actually matter and remain unfazed by drama or crisis. I mean, the asshole has attractive qualities. It’s why the girls date him and he always seems to get his way. What is it about him that draws people in? Well, for one, He doesn’t give a fuck. He’s aloof. Nothing gets on his nerves or brings him down. Heck, people even call him an asshole and he just doesn’t seem to give a little bit of a fuck about it. While the asshole is not exactly a role model, he does have some redeeming qualities about him. He does what he wants and doesn’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks or says. That’s admirable, honestly. But you can’t be so selfish (of an asshole) that you don’t even consider how your words and actions affect other people. On the contrary, people are often too concerned about how what they do affects others, the typical “people pleaser” The key is to be somewhat of an asshole. Never go full asshole. Or full people pleaser for that matter. That’s like going full retard. Balance is what you want. Being Aloof means not giving a fuck Giving a fuck means you put time, money, and energy in it -- those are the ways you can “give a fuck”. In life, there are a limited amount of fucks you can give. It’s not that you don’t give a fuck about anything. You have to give a fuck about something. It’s that you give a fuck about a limited amount of things and those in which are actually important to YOU, not other people. It’s a Honey Badger Don't Care attitude, where you're focused on getting what you want and “don’t care” about approval or recognition. You are Aloof to expectations and obligations and are instead key lined focused on desire. To be Aloof is to be calm and stoic You do not get overly eager or excited, nor do you get overly upset. Emotions remain in control. You may not control what happens or how you feel, but you do control your reaction to it. You are steady in your reactions to things, no matter how hectic, never jolting into an emotional outburst because you feel that way. You take the logical approach towards issues and rationally decide the best path to take. You recognize your emotions and what they’re telling you, but don’t allow them to overcome you. You stay aloof to their influence. You procrastinate a decision in order to think of the best way to handle things, rather than letting fiery emotions explode and cause more chaos than the initial dilemma even entailed. You have a laid-back attitude towards whatever life throws at you, no matter how much it sucks, and just go with the flow, taking waves as they come, completely aloof to the rapids as you stay balanced and centered. Aloofness is solitude You are comfortable being in your own presence and don’t need other people to feel fulfilled and worthy. You feel fulfilled and worthy on your own (and that coincidentally attracts high quality people in your life) You’re not approval-seeking or any sort of attention whore. You couldn’t care less what other people expect of you.You do your own thing, whether you’re joined by another company or not. You are your own best friend, offering yourself reassurance in times of struggle and encouragement in times of triumph. You take time to mellow out alone and reflect on who you are and why you do the things you do. You are comfortable in your own skin, comfortable in your own bed. You can’t love anyone else until you truly love yourself, and you love yourself. You’re damn awesome. You have to believe that. Accept your flaws. Flaunt your strengths. Be aloof to any sort of social expectations and just be you. Aloofness is a carefree attitude Carefree doesn’t mean you don’t care at all. It means you care about important shit, not trivial stresses that come about in everyday life. You don’t worry. Period. You don’t worry about what you did wrong, what could go wrong soon. You may think about it. You may consider it. Briefly. But you don’t ruminate over it, nonstop. You don’t let it consume your thoughts. You don’t ...worry about a thing. The past is the past and the future is unwritten. You live fully and completely in the present, carefree and aloof to any other part of the timeline. You follow the Rip Van Winkle rule. If what you’re worried about won’t matter when you wake up from a nap in 20 years, then don’t spend more than 20 minutes thinking about it. He who cares least is the one in control. And you must care least. You aren’t attached to a specific outcome of anything. Whatever happens, happens. You go with the damn flow and let bygones be bygones. If you fuck up, you don’t feel like a fuck up. You take what you learned with a grain of salt and level up, become better. You see mistakes as something you did, not as a definition of your person. Mistakes are Meh, and that’s the attitude you take. You feel no pressure to think, act, and behave in a certain way. You are aloof and carefree towards any sort of rules. Rules are just “suggestions” in your book and you use them to your own discretion. Aloofness is non-commital You’re not inclined to be deadset on one company or person. You value your own principles over loyalty I mean, heck you’re here on this blog because you likely want to leave your day job. Doesn’t show much loyalty there. You’re not committed to a job. You’re not committed to your boss. Given the opportunity, you’d quit, if you haven’t already. And why? Because you want to do your own thing. You want to abide by your own way of life, and that is aloofness. Have commitment towards principles, ideas, not people. Be true to yourself and people will want to commit to you, not the other way around. The stronger you abide by your own way, that is, the more aloof you are to anything else but your own beliefs and ideas, then the stronger people will feel compelled to follow your lead. That’s not to say you are “disloyal” to the point where you cheat on someone or backstab them by doing something ugly. You make your principles clear from the very beginning of the relationship (whether its platonic, romantic, or professional) and don’t let people fuck with you by breaking them. The goal is not to find someone willing to commit to you. The goal is to find someone willing to commit to your principles. And if they don't, it's no big deal. You’ve got your principles intact and didn’t kiss up and change just to please them. Have commitment towards a purpose instead of a relationship. It doesn’t have to be a huge passion or anything, just something you like. But have something that has you wake up every day (typically around noon). Have a reason to enjoy your limited time here on this earth. Don’t make someone else your center. Be your own center. If another person is your reason or something materialistic is, you need to dig deeper and find what it is you actually want. You need a better purpose. A purpose is not an object or person. Those are just...distractions. Be aloof to distractions. If you are Aloof, you do your own thing, regardless of judgement People are gonna judge you. Hard. Ain’t everybody gonna like you or agree with you. Haters gonna hate. Whatever man. Just kick on back and let ‘em say waht they’re going to say. Shit’s like leaves off a sloth’s back. Don’t just “act” aloof to it. BE aloof. Stop giving a fuck about other people’s opinions. They don’t matter. Not a single thing a person says is gonna change your life, unless you let it. Don’t let bullshit get to you, dude. If people hate on you, it means you’re doing something right. If everybody agrees with you or likes you, either they want something out of you (money, a favor, etc.) or there’s some oversight you’re missing and you’re wrong. Likewise, if everybody disagrees with you, then they all probably have a point and you ought put your damn Ego to the side for a second to figure what the fuck it is. Some people are gonna love you. Some people are gonna hate you. You want to achieve that sort of balance between overs and haters. If not everybody is happy with what you’re doing, but some people are, that means there’s something you’re doing right. The minute you try to please everybody is the minute you please nobody. Don’t be a people-pleaser and remain aloof to how your decisions make you look in the eyes of others. Earlier we talked about how being a little bit of an asshole can be a good thing. Well, be that asshole and let people think that of you. Remember, every time you say NO to one thing, you are saying YES to another. Choose what you say YES to carefully and don’t feel obligated to say yes just to please someone else, just to tell them what they want to hear and avoid being called an asshole. Be frank about your NO and say it. Mean it. Truth is, you’re not being the asshole. They are! For expecting you to hold a certain opinion or do something the way they want. But you don’t have to argue that or make that point; don’t actually do that. Instead, let it slide and tell them to hop off. While Aloof, you do things on your terms You do whatever you want, whenever you want to do it, and however you decide you’re doing it. You don’t volunteer or participate in activities you hold absolutely no interest in doing, nor do you do it at a time that’s inconvenient for you. Morning meeting? Nah bro. Not for me. I’m good. Let’s shoot for the late afternoon, early evening instead. You let people adapt their schedule to yours and don’t arrange your life to meet other people’s schedules. You’re in charge of your own time and don’t allow other people to attempt to take charge of it. Anything people want from you is merely a suggestion and not some sort of bound obligation. You never feel obligated to do anything. Anything you do do comes from a place of desire. You are Aloof to the idea that you “should” do something. You don’t should yourself. Gross. You instead “want” something and do it. You remain mysterious while Aloof You can’t be such an open book that you’re sharing everything about yourself -- all your inner thoughts and feelings Calm yourself man. That’s some needy ass behavior right there. You can’t be so open about your feelings that people see right through you. On the flip side, u don’t want to remain so closed off that people feel like they CAN’T get to know you, but give “just enough” information about yourself that people stay interested. Ya know like watching a good streaming series and at the end of the episode it leaves a little cliffhanger and you’re left with the words “To be continued…” and you’re like “WHAT!? No, I gotta know what happens next!” You want to achieve the same type of reaction here. Build up suspense. Being Aloof means you are uninterested by drama People gossip. People escalate things emotionally. You’re above that. Your life is a drama free zone. You don’t participate in shouting matches. You stay calm. You don’t act passive aggressive, because you’re honest and upfront with your principles. You set clear boundaries. You take the time and let people say their piece but don’t stoop down to their level of getting overwhelmed by their excessively emotional reaction. You’ll make people think “gee, maybe I am bein a bit over-the top, aren’t I?” because you remain so calm and level headed, aloof, to any sort of drama they try to stir. They’re left with no choice but to take a step back and look at just how immature they’re acting. You don’t rely on name-calling or bringing up things just to hurt another person. That’s all for non-lazy people who get “worked up” easily. You don’t work at all. You’re lazy. Instead, you address an issue calmly, clearly, and firmly. You don’t want to be Cold. Just Aloof Now when it comes to being aloof, there’s a fine line between being Aloof and being distant/cold. Being cold means you’re rather ruthless. You can’t be so uncaring that you become sort of heartless in your approach. You have to allow room for some flexibility. The idea is to not let other people walk over you,but in the same vein, not to walk all over other people. You want people to respect you, not necessarily fear you. Be charming. Aloof enough to let people know they shouldn’t fuck with you or try to take advantage of you, but caring enough to show you’re not a complete asshole. Just abide and do your own thing REGARDLESS. Regardless of what? Just regardless. Period. Regardless of consequences. Regardless of disapproval. Regardless of hate. Regardless of fill in the blank. Stay Aloof and do whatever. Regardless. - N8 In my FREE e-book, the L.A.Z.Y. Mindset, I break down a four step module towards success, as a procrastin8r. The book was designed to give a sort of roadmap towards creating an easy, laid-back life.
Each letter in L.A.Z.Y. is a main principle of becoming a PRO, and not just a “crastinator”. The book is short and only about a dozen pages. Let’s be honest, it’s more of a little pamphlet, a pamphlet packed with awesome wisdom. It’s an easy, short read. I wanted it to be. I didn’t want this long-winded, heavily-worded anthology. I wanted it to be short, sweet, simple, and to the point. I mean the ultimate lazy man’s guide should be that way. Anyway, I want to provide further insight on what the book does not cover. While in the book, I go as far as to tell you each module and why it’s important, I don’t really define the modules in the way they deserve to be. The definitions are clear, but not as fleshed out as they could or should be. I want to take a closer look at these modules to help you attain the L.A.Z.Y. Mindset yourself. So starting today, and in the next coming weeks, I’ll be taking a deep dive on each of the four modules of the L.A.Z.Y. mindset, so that you can have a better understanding of what it's all about. And who knows? Maybe one day it’ll all be published in one epic compendium...eventually. I recommend starting out by grabbing your copy (or reviewing it if you already have it) before starting to read this article. It would certainly give you more clear insight but of course, that’s not necessary and completely up to you. The first step of the L.A.Z.Y Mindset is Leisure. Leisure is spending time doing whatever relaxes you and makes you feel at ease. While sleeping in or just lounging around on the couch can be considered leisure, naturally, leisure itself is not necessarily the practice of idleness. Rather, it is the practice of attaining rejuvenation. How you attain that is quite a personal experience. You do something that refreshes your mind, body, and spirit. You take a break from “the grind” and unwind a bit, doing whatever it is that allows you to do just that. Even though certain activities like lying on a hammock are what one would often associate with the word “leisure”, at its core, leisure is not so set in stone on what activities are or aren’t part of it. Leisure has a bit more of a flexible definition. In fact, a physical intense activity, though may seem quite the opposite of leisure, given that you are actively moving about and breaking a sweat, can actually be considered Leisure. One may find going on a jog to be quite therapeutic and calming, for example, or perhaps they enjoy pumping iron at the gym to blow off steam. Whatever the case may be, Leisure is NOT determined by the amount of actual activeness involved (or lack thereof) involved. You and I might consider a jog to be some form of cruel punishment, and that’s okay. That’s not our leisure. But to someone else, it might be. See, Leisure is a personal preference. One man’s Leisure is another man’s Work. You can do something that relaxes you, but someone else thinks is actually quite a hassle -- and vice versa. Playing video games is one of my Leisures. But someone might complain that it requires “too much concentration” or it “makes my thumbs hurt”. If you find no complaints about what you’re doing, or otherwise consider those complaints to be negligible, chances are, you’re enjoying yourself in leisure. Just because someone thoroughly enjoys something like golfing, and you don’t seem to “get it” at all, doesn’t make that thing not leisure. You choose your own Leisure based on your own tastes, in the same way, you decide what you consider to be a “delicious” food. As a matter of fact, it’s not really something you logically or rationally “choose”, just something you so happen to prefer. You may hate mint chocolate flavored anything, and no matter how much someone tries to convince you how “good” it tastes, you just think it tastes nasty. Similarly, there’s nothing anyone can say or do that can convince you that a certain activity is Leisure if you just don’t feel that way. You can’t convince them that a certain activity is Leisure (to them) either. Leisure is just something you find to “tastes good”, like your own appetite for specific foods and flavors and there’s really no clear cut definition on what that may or may not include. There are people that like french fries and mayonnaise, which I think is absolutely gross, but hey, if it’s something they think tastes good, then by all means, have at it. In the same vein, I think fishing is boring as hell, but if someone loves it, good on them. They can enjoy their Leisure in that activity.. They have their own tastes. I have mine. You have yours. As long as the activity doesn’t harm anything or anyone, there’s pretty much no limit to what your Leisure can be. Leisure is the lack of negative thoughts You don’t feel bogged down by it, burdened, or otherwise obligated to do it. It’s just something you do...naturally. You don’t become stressed by thoughts of it. It’s your “go-to place” to calm down and relieve stress, not spark more of it. That said, you can enjoy an activity without it being a Leisure. Sometimes what you really enjoy about a particular activity are the benefits of said activity and not the activity itself. For example, the person who likes running may not actually like running itself, for what it is. Instead what they like are the benefits of living healthy that comes from running on a consistent basis. They actually secretly detest running. It’s tiresome, time-consuming, and overall just a burden to do. BUT it does bring a bunch of health benefits like a stronger cardio. One question you need to ask yourself, when trying to find what exactly your Leisure is, is this: Would I be doing this if I didn’t get anything out of it? If the answer is NO, then you’re not in Leisure. You’re doing something you enjoy, but you’re not doing something in Leisure. See the difference? Leisure has NO benefits, other than being the activity it is. Leisure is focused on the present, being in the moment, not the benefits that participating in a certain activity can bring in the future. Professional athletes will often describe as they play their sport of choice that they are “in the zone”. They are completely focused entirely on what’s happening in the moment, not about the argument last night with their girlfriend, not about the stock market, not about their breakfast they ate this morning. They’re not even thinking of what winning the game would bring for them, at least the good ones and the ones that are truly in Leisure. They are present, completely. They are focused on playing the game itself, not attaining the victory. Victory is a result of playing the game. Playing the game is not a result of victory. In Leisure, you are fully “in the zone”, just like an athlete. You’re not thinking of anything outside of it or even what doing it could possibly bring later. You’re just...doing it. Oftentimes the phrase “just do it” is associated with this shut up, try hard, no holds barred attitude, like don’t ask any questions, just push for your goal and...do it! But here on Lazy island, “just do it” means to just do the thing and engulf yourself in the present moment of doing said thing. It’s not a matter of striving hard towards something. It’s a matter of easing back, and truly doing the thing you enjoy, without regards to getting anything out of it (other than pure enjoyment in its fundamental form) Leisure is not competitive, nor goal-oriented. In order to truly “live in the present”, in Leisure, you can’t be worried or concerned about things that may come about. While I mentioned playing video games is a Leisure for me (or at least it can be) There are certain games I can’t play for Leisure. Not to say I don’t enjoy them.I do. But certain games I play are no longer “for fun”. It becomes rather competitive, instead of just appreciating the game for what it is and well, having fun. Like I’ll be playing a game, Dead by Deadlight, for example to win and rank up. I’ll play a game like RuneScape to grind out levels. I’ll play Dark Souls to try and win achievements. The list goes on and on. While there may be something you enjoy, just because you enjoy it does not mean you are in Leisure while doing it. If there is an ulterior motive behind doing something, you’re working hard, not embracing Leisure. Someone who enjoys fishing may be trying to catch the biggest fish. That’s not true Leisure. You must fish just to fish, not to gain anything else from it. Apply the same principle to whatever activity it is you want. It is essential to have some form of Leisure in your life. Leisure rejuvenates you. It gives you energy. Without Leisure, life becomes a series of one obligation after the other. It leads to burning out and feeling quite unfulfilled. You’re constantly trying to do the “next big thing” in every aspect of your life -- your career, your family, your friends, and even your hobbies -- and this leads you to feeling rather dull and that you just aren’t good enough. You must take a step back once in a while and be able to think to yourself: “I am enough. This is enough” Whether it's playing pool, painting, or just vibing to some music, you must take the time to just enjoy yourself, enjoy what you’re doing, without any sort of goal in mind other than the simple enjoyment. We live in a society that pushes for excellence -- that you must be the best in everything you do, no matter what. It’s a highly competitive world, and we’re led to believe that if you aren’t excelling at what you’re doing, then you need to get better. You need to try harder, work harder, do it harder. We’re never told to just appreciate the activity for what it is. We’re told that it isn’t “worth the time” if you’re not completely dominating in something, no matter how trivial it may seem. You must always be better, faster, stronger. As a society, we have this fascination with achievement. We’re led to believe that if you aren’t achieving very much, then you are not worthy as a person. It’s like you need to have some sort of big impact or noteworthy skill or talent to be worthy and loveable. Look, your level of worthiness as a human being has nothing to do with your level of achievement at all. We are all equally worthy. Stop trying to achieve. Stop trying to make it big. Stop trying to be the best of the best. All of that is the real “waste of time”. We’re given some sort of standard to live up to and try to attain. Look, the standard is this: enjoy life. Enjoyment doesn’t stem from success. Quite the opposite in fact. Success stems from enjoyment. Look at successful people, celebrities, athletes, etc. They all have one thing in common: they enjoy what they’re doing. They are living a life of Leisure. That’s not to say you need to strive for that level of fame or success. That’s to say if you find happiness, if you find your Leisure, then everything else that may come (money, fame, etc) is simply a byproduct, rather than the initial goal. It’s great if you reach a high level of success and it’s great if you don’t. Life is about taking a journey, not arriving at a specific destination. Have fun. Actually have fun. Don’t worry about performing the best or always coming out on top. Don’t worry about meeting some sort of standard or protocol. “Just do it.” and enjoy it, without regards to anything else. If you like what you're doing, you'll naturally get better at it anyway. In general, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Life is not a competition and there’s no need to make it one. Like a good meal, savor the flavor and just enjoy yourself in Leisure as you take the cake one bite at a time. Make your life deliciously satisfying by liking the taste of what you’re eating (metaphorically speaking of course), in the present moment, not a search for the best recipe. After all, once you find the best, you’ll still be searching for even better. Leisure is ultimately a feeling of “just enough”. Just enough to feel satisfied. Just enough to feel good. Just enough to feel...worthy. You are worthy. Embrace yourself in Leisure and you’ll find it to be true. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives
March 2022
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