That’s okay. There’s always a last minute solution, if you’re lazy enough.
So forget the holiday cheer! Time for some holiday laziness.
BAH HUM Zzzzzz…
Are you Obligated to Give Gifts During the Holidays?
A gift is sort of an obligation. When someone gives you a gift, they expect some kind of reciprocation in return.
Very rarely, if at all,does someone give a gift with the intention of actually, ya know, “giving”. The truth is, they want something out of it. ,even if they just want to “feel good” for making the other person happy.
People only care about the WIIFM, What’s In It For Me, and aren’t so charitable in nature.
Heck, even those that supposedly “give” to charity during the holidays, while they may act like they really care about the cause on the surface, if you look deeper, they really just want to boost their reputation as a moral person, gain social proof, or even just feel warm fuzzy feelings.
They’ll go as far as posting their quote on quote “charitable act” on social media to earn “likes”. It’s all about what *they* can personally gain from the situation.
A true gift is expecting nothing in return, not warm feelings or likes or approval. Absolutely nothing.
However, if you literally give nothing to a person that gives you a gift, you’ll come across as a selfish Scrooge.
You gotta kinda balance this out and give...just enough to show you care, without being so stingy that it seems like you don’t care at all.
Keep in mind, a lot of these expensive gifts shoved in our faces in e-mails, movies, advertisements are really just propaganda to buy. There’s this whole idea that buying a thing is the way to show love. Let’s just say, corporate billionaires appreciate you buying a gift more than the person you actually give it to ever will. Furthermore, love is not something you can find on a shelf or charge on your credit card.
Thus, we want to find ways that allows us to give, to love, without buying (literally) into the corporate propaganda to spend as much as we can, and of course, we want to be able to do that without having to get out of bed.
So without further a do, let’s dive right into it!
1. Give the gift of “not giving a gift”
Now we understand that a gift is an obligation of sorts. It costs money, time, and effort to get a gift for someone and it would do the relationship a disservice to avoid reciprocating at all.
So, rather than make it a difficult obligation to fulfill, take the easy way out. Give the gift of not giving and receive it in return.
Say “Hey, I want to get you a gift, but I know it can take you a lot of time to find the right thing and would even cost a bit of money if you get me one, so how about instead of us going out of our way to get something for each other, we give each other freedom from the stress of any sort of “to do” task?
Make the subject the other person, and try not to focus on your own wants and needs when telling them this. You don’t want to say “Don’t get me a gift because I don’t feel like getting one for you,” but instead, make it clear that they have a lot to gain by not giving a gift to you.
Again, fulfill the WIIFM. Focus on how not giving a gift benefits *them* and not you.
You want to try and convey the message: “You’re no longer obligated to get me a gift and can save a lot of time, money, and energy in finding something”
2. Blame it on the shitty economy (not personal finances) and say it’s an opportunity for “everyone to save money”
A good way to approach selling the idea that you’re not giving gifts this year is to make it a team goal, how you’re in it together, and again, not bring attention to what you can get out of it. You want to create a “win/win” type situation that others look forward to participating in.
You don’t want to say “Look, I don’t have enough money to buy gifts” because that shows you don’t care about others’ wants and needs, and instead are only focused on your own concerns. You make it seem like they’re giving to you, giving you the understanding of *your own* money status and allowing you not to give a gift.
You want to flip the script and make it appear like they have something to gain out of your non gift giving practices.
The economy sucks, and by pointing that out, you make it something that others can actually relate to and be a part of. You kindly encourage them to enter your frame, rather than attempting to force pull them into it.
Make it appealing to others that not giving gifts is beneficial for them.
We have naps to take, video games to play, and overall, as procrastin8rs, we want to do what we want, when we want. Time is your most important and valuable assets.
You can use your time to earn money (from the couch), level up IRL skills, or relax and enjoy yourself in lazy leisure…or you can give that time as a gift to someone else doing what they want to show you care.
But what if I told you, you can kill two birds with one stone or put two pillows on one bed, as I like to say? You can do what you want with your time AND give your time to someone else, by making them a part of what you do.
All you have to do is find something you and the other person *both* like and spend time doing it together. Again, make *them* the focus of the activity. That way you show to them that they matter to you and simultaneously, you don’t have to go out of your way to do something you despise. You create a win/win.
Say something along the lines of: “Hey I know you really like ___ and I’d love to take you” or give them tickets to an event you know they’d love to go to (and you would too).
Quality time is one of the languages of love and this works most effective with people that “speak” that language and need it to feel love. The best way to identify someone’s love language is to examine the way they personally express it. A person wants to receive love the way they give it.
If they are the type of person who invites you out to things, or offers to come over, then Quality Time is definitely the love language they speak, so give it to them.
This is one of the classic lazy gift giving moves. You take an old gift you haven’t used (or even opened for that matter) and wrap that baby back up to give it to *omeone else
It’s great because you don’t have head out shopping or spend a damn dime. It’s free and easy.
Now you have to be tactful about this though.
DON’T re-gift back to the person who originally gave you the gift. I mean that’s just setting thing sup to get ugly.
And make sure no one is present that was there during the original gift opening. (eg. one side of the family versus the other or one group of friends versus a different one). You don’t want any “witnesses” who can call you out on your Re-Gift. Although if you are caught, just be calm and relaxed about it, and don't lie, just own it, like it happens and it’s no big deal.
The downside of this move, even if you are strategic about it, is look, it’s not a gift you liked very much, so there’s a good chance that it won’t be a gift that someone else likes (unless you know for a fact that they will appreciate it)
5. Write A "Thank You For Being Awesome" Note
Notice the little things about a person and write them down. Then hand the list to them as a gift. Do they have a certain hobby they’re good at? Do they have cute little physical quirks, like the way they move or the way the laugh? Do they offer you kind gestures? Think about what you like and appreciate about them as a person.
Handwritten is best here because it adds that extra “oomph!” but not necessary.
Do that if you are a bit of an artist, but otherwise you could print it out and include memes that would make them laugh.
It’s a good habit to have to be able to appreciate what you have.S tudies have shown that those who take the time to show their appreciation are the happiest of people. So you’ll feel more positive and they’ll feel more appreciated.
And again, this works best for people that tend to offer a lot of compliments because people want to receive love in the way they give it.
It’s all about giving the right kind of gift to the right kind of person.
Okay, yes technically you have to “buy” these, but they make the list because of how easy of a gift they are.
You can buy them online and print them out before you can say “I need to purchase a last minute gift”. I’m all about making money in a few clicks, or wrapping gifts in a few clicks for that matter and gift cards offer the perfect opportunity to do just that!.
You don’t even have to wait for shipping. You can print that baby out within seconds. No gas spent or navigating through the hustle n’ bustle of crowded stores. Just laying on the couch and making a few clicks on your phone. BAM!
Heck no printer? No problem. You can just email it or Facebook messenger, WhatsApp,SnapChat or whatever new messaging app that came out recently within the past week that people are using.
But hey, ya know what? I’m a cheap bastard and don’t really want to spend a whole lotta money
And fortunately, I get a TON of FREE gift cards from running a phone farm. You basically dust off a few old phones and run these apps that play videos, earn points, and redeem the points for gift cards.
It’s totally passive and one of my favorite ways to earn while I sleep.
You can even take a few surveys on mTurk to earn Amazon gift card balance. No need to rush to a 9 to 5 and earn a pay check.
There are a ton of apps that let you earn gift cards for doing...nothing, basically, and that makes them a great “last minute cheap gift” because it doesn’t take much effort to obtain and doesn’t cost a damn dime.
Giving, whether it’s during the holidays or during your daily lazy life, is quite a balancing act. Give too much and people will take advantage of you. Give too little and people will get tired of your selfishness.
If you put someone on a pedestal, then they’ll always see you as below them and will walk away in disgust.
And if you act like you’re on a pedestal yourself, then they’ll often see you as unattainable and walk away in frustration.
You must strike the right balance and give...just enough.
8. When you do give, actually give. Don’t give to make yourself feel good or get anything back.
If you want to build a quality relationship or friendship, you must be willing to give without any expectation, at least once in a while.
You have to be willing to actually give and not trade one sort of benefit for another.
Remember to relax and focus on how your gift, no matter how last minute, is something awesome for the other person and take your mind off why it’s good for you.
Selflessness is the key to gift giving and it doesn’t matter how long you procrastinate getting a gift if it ultimately comes from a place of love.
Merry gosh dern Christmas! Go spend the day in your PJs, on the couch, sipping egg nog.
P.S. I want to give you more content as a gift, including an awesome e-book called the Lazy Mindset, it's a gift that keeps on giving, so subscribe to my newsletter to get it. You can unsubscribe anytime.
As a matter of fact, you can take your free e-book gift then immediately unsubscribe if that's what you want to do.
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