I mean think about it, would you rather write a novel and memorize it as well as hold back your true feelings
...or just tell the truth?
The only time a procrastin8r lies is on the bed or couch or hammock. They don’t lie to anyone -- friends, family, significant others, or even themselves.
We just abide by what’s true and don’t try to make up stories.
Now unfortunately, not everyone is a procrastin8r and following the Lazy Mindset. People lie.They’re not always honest. People throw bullshit all the time.
It’s a shame because it makes relationships hard.
Once a person tells a lie, the trust is broken, and can never really be fully 100% re-established. Look, integrity is the only thing ya got, so it’s easier just to keep it in the first place rather than jump through hoops to try and earn it back.
Part of creating a lazy lifestyle is making every aspect of your life -- easy.
It’s hard work to keep a relationship up with people that are gonna lie straight to your face. You’re gonna have to question their every motive, doubt their promises, and ultimately juggle fucking axes just to feel “okay” about things.
The easy way is to cut these sorts of people out of your life -- cut out the liars, nix the bullshitters -- so that you can live one that’s true and void of any false hopes and illusions. The truth sets you free.
It sucks because you may actually like/love and care deeply about this person, and it may feel difficult to let go.
But ya gotta think to yourself: Do I really like them as a person or just the false image they are trying to project?
The fact is you may not love or care about them as a person; you love the lie about them that you believed in. You actually began to appreciate the smell of their bullshit. Heck, you don’t even really know them. You just know their lie, and even if you begin to trust them, begin to believe them, and see the “real” version of the person, there’s still that sort of doubt in the back of your head saying “But is s/he really real this time, like really?”
That’s just not a healthy sort of relationship to have with anyone, whether it’s a family member, friend, or significant other.
Trust is the basis of all relationships.
With that said, you should actually know how to lie.
Wait. What? Hol up!
I’m not saying you should lie, in case it wasn’t clear enough that you very well shouldn’t. What I’m saying is, you should know how to lie so that you can easily spot a liar.
If you know how to tell a good lie yourself, then you can easily tell when others are in fact lying to you.
You’ll be able to catch the subtle nuances of a lie and be like “Ah okay, this person is a waste of time.” then walk away, instead of pouring months or years of time and effort into something false. You know what they say: you can’t bullshit a bullshitter.
The quicker you can spot a liar, the less you’ll have invested in the relationship with a shitty person.
As a procrastin8r, we’re all about minimizing effort and maximizing results, including our relationships. It’s not lazy or smart to invest heavy emotionally into someone you can’t trust, someone that’s lying to you, and it’s certianly a lot of effort to deal with a bullshitter.
Today, we’re gonna dive into how to spot a liar, how to turn on your bullshit detector (which coincidentally are the things to avoid if you want to tell a pretty good lie, yourself, for that matter) so you can cut the liars out of your life and continue living your stress-free, lazy, and honest life.
Now to be clear, before we get started, these are just signs to look for and will vary person to person, based on their own natural quirks and body language.
But they are definitely something to look out for. Without further ado, let’s dive, right into it!
One of the most reliable and easy ways to spot a liar is... to look at their eyes.
If their eyes are darting back and forth rapidly, avoiding eye contact. There’s a good chance this person is trying to hide something.
Of course, they may also just be shy and nervous as a person, so it may just indicate a lack of confidence or even just general confusion.
However, if the person is generally quite confident, or at least calm enough to not be...so jittey, and what you said is rather clear and not confusing at all, then more likely than not, they’re lying to you about whatever they just said or aren’t revealing the full truth.
Looking to the right (their right)
There have been studies that show that depending on the type of information people think of, they look in a certain direction.
If they’re looking to the right, this means they are tapping into “Creation Mode”, meaning whatever they’re saying they are making the fuck up.
On the other hand, if they are looking to the left, they are trying to “Remember” something and recalls specific details.
This *does* vary from person to person. Left handers tend to be the opposite -- with looking to the left meaning they’re making shit up and looking to the right meaning they’re remembering the truth.
You can find out what a person’s typical behavior is by asking basic questions like “Do you remember your first day in high school?” or “What’s the first concert you went to?” That’ll reveal which side they look when they “remember”.
You can ask them to imagine something silly like a pink elephant or peanutbutter pizza or whatever just to see which direction they look while they’re in Creation Mode. That’ll help you discern the difference between which direction they look when they’re remembering the truth and which side they look when they’re bullshitting.
Of course, a good bullshitter can manipulate this sort of thing and look in either direction s/he wants, so be careful.
In the blink of an eye...they can tell a lie!
This is one of those sort of things you’ll have to observe a person for so you get a good sense of their natural blinking pattern. Some people naturally blink faster, slower, than others, etc. Just pay attention for a bit and you’ll pick it up.
Generally though excessively rapid blinking can indicate nervousness and if you are otherwise having an emotionally calm conversation, then that’s a big red flag.
Context is important. I mean if you were just talking about a horrible story of how you were in a car accident recently or a family member was diagnosed with cancer or something, then rapid blinking may actually be appropriate to indicate feelings of shock.
However, if you’re asking them what they did this weekend and their eye lids are fluttering like a hummingbird, then you might wanna call them on their bullshit.
On the contrary, blinking *too slowly* can indicate their about to pull something out of their ass rather than hit you with the truth and mean it. They’re subconsciously stalling time to “come up” with an answer (as in tell a lie) or maybe even hiding which direction their looking.
Of course, they *could* just be thinking really hard, trying to actually recall a specific detail too so don’t get so caught up if it happens once or twice during the conversation. However, frequent occurrences of the “slow blink” may indicate there’s something fishy going on.
Now you would think that maintaining eye contact indicates the person is telling the truth, and well, actually, generally speaking, you’d be absolutely correct and hit the nail on the head.
And on the same token, avoiding eye contact, probably indicates some bullshit right there.
But there’s also a level of *too much* eye contact.
Ya know, when someone’s just sort of...staring at you, through your soul like a reaping death angel or some shit. It’s just creepy. It’s eerie.
Either the person’s lying or planning your murder. Either way, don’t trust a starer.
A normal amount of eye contact is what you’re looking for in an honest person (or good bullshitter). Not too much, not too little. Juuust right.
The Goldilocks zone of eye contact is what you want from a person telling the truth.
But again, keep in mind, a person may just have personality quirks, like insecurity where they just tend to avoid eye contact in general.
Now let’s stop staring at their eyes like a big ole creep and take a look at the rest of a person’s face to indicate whether or not they’re bullshitting you…
Let’s Put a Smile on That Face!
Now an effective way to indicate at least if a person is playing charades with their emotions is to be able to spot a fake smile.
A person who is showing a genuine smile will raise their cheeks to the point in which the skin around the eyes bunch and wrinkle
A fake smile, on the other hand, is all in the mouth, with no cheeks raised.
What are they really trying to hide behind that fake little smile of theirs? Well whatever it is, it ain’t gettin’ past your bullshit detector.
If someone raises their lips in a pursed position, it’s probably a good indication their wearing big wet juicy red LIEstick.
I’m guilty of this. I mean I’m not a liar.
But I am a bit of a prankster. It’s the natural role of a big brother.
My sisters learned when I was trying to pull something fast on them and called me out on my
The lips don’t necessarily have to be “pursed” per se, but in some sort of shift in position. Maybe they lick them more often, maybe they bite their lower lip.
Of course those types of body language could also mean they’re just really turned on by whatever the fuck you just said.
If someone keeps obsessively touching their face, they either are addicted to popping their own zits or are just being ...cheeky! BA DUM TSS
No but seriously, face-touching is a strong sign that the person is lying. I don’t mean like a brush or comb here or there, but if they are all over their face, they may be trying to hold up their mask, if you catch my drift.
And speaking of obsessive actions -- this can expand to literally any little movement -- scratching the skin, rubbing hands together, biting nails, you get the idea. Fidgeting around and moving.
It may just be a nervous tick. But why are they nervous, detective?
It could also just be a bad habit (especially things like nail biting), but that’s why you ask small questions before getting to the big ones so you can get an idea of their bad habits versus their fidgeting.
Unless the temperature is hot or things are heating up intemently, sweating is a sure fire sign that the person is nervous and trying not to get caught in their little bullshit dance.
Cool it off and call ‘em out on it.
Like a blinking red weak spot in a boss battle, flushing of the face is a sign of either extreme embarrassment and maybe just maybe that embarrassment comes from telling a lie they’re afraid you might catch.
It’s easy to spot this one, compared to other more subtle ones on the list. Either you gave them a sweet compliment or you asked a question they feel nervous in answering truthfully.
Not moving at all is a survival instinct. There’s fight, flight, and FREEZE. This person is caught red handed and they freeze up trying not to make a mistake, being over-cautious of their movements.
It across as...weird. Most people move around during a conversation -- with their hands, with their feet, with their SOMETHING.
There’s a notorious real crime interrogation reel of Stephen McDaniel, where he infamously stayed completely still with his body language for the entire 2 hours of the interrogation.
Not a single moved for the full two hours.
He was later found guilty of murder.
You can watch a sped up version above and just see how suspicious as fuck he looks staying so still. Like obviously the dude is lying.
If they suddenly get higher pitched or lower pitched or change their cadence, this may mean their words are not so truthful.
They may try sounding a bit *too* polite or maybe a bit *too* laid back. Something just seems...off. The inflection or tone of their voice just doesn’t match the conversation and there seems to be a lot of “try hard” in their voice, like their “trying” to make a certain impression, rather than just be honest.
Liars tend to go on and on and on, explaining things with unnecessary detail, and failing to reach an end point in their sentence. It comes across as rambling, trying to find the right words.
One who speaks honestly doesn’t fumble over their sentences and can keep their explanations brief.
“I swear! I’m being honest”
Yeah, those are the words of a liar. No one telling the truth has to justify the truth because it *is* the truth.
Watch out for their claims of honesty, especially if done redundantly, without you even asking to clarify or offering any criticism.
Saying something is true does not make it true. Bullshit is bullshit, no matter how many times you call it a flower.
If they’re being rather snippy with their answers and in a way come across as irritated or annoyed, they may be hiding more information than what they abruptly tell you on the surface.
They tell you “DID NOT do it”
Instead of telling you they didn’t do it. They said they “did not” That’s important.
One of the prime examples of this type of wording actually being a lie are Bill Clinton’s infamous words: “I did not have sexual relations with that woman”
Obviously it’s natural for topics to change over the course of the conversation, but if they seem to be throwing a curveball,when you try to bring up a certain question, then that ball is probably loaded with bullshit.
If they seem way too jolty about changing topics, look out.
They may answer your question very *briefly* then try to jump ship ASAP. This is a red flag for a bullshitter in panic mode.
Pauses are natural in the flow of conversation. If the other person never seems to allow a pause to happen and is quick to fill it in with justifications or explanations that you didn’t even ask for. Smell that? It’s bullshit.
Not able to tell the story backwards
If you doubt the ridiculousness or craziness, ask them to tell it to you backwards.
Liars tend to memorize a series of events in a certain order and will get thrown off if they have to deviate from that.
If they stumble or hesitate when you try to back track with them, there’s a likely chance the story is a fairy tale.
Now hopefully you’ve learned how to spot a bullshitter so you can flush them down out of your life and continue to live one of honesty and laziness.
Next week, we’ll go over How to be a Good Bullshitter, because again, the better you are at lying, the better you are at detecting lies, and that’s gonna help you build a circle of people you can trust in the long run.
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