Why Sitting on the Couch Watching Horror Films & Playing Horror Video Games is Beneficial10/28/2020 Ah, Halloween. The time of year to get “spooped”. It’s sort of the “dark” holiday. Like, every other holiday is about being happy and bright. It’s about Leprechauns and rainbows or a fat jolly man in a red suit or bubbly pink hearts or a joyful little bunny hopping around with a basket of eggs. But not Halloween. Halloween is about gruesomeness. It’s about witches, ghouls, vampires, werewolves, zombies, and other frightening monsters. It’s about the paranormal and the macabre, quite the opposite of jingle jangles and cupids playing harps.  Halloween is the dark brother in the family of holidays. Rather than embracing a positive upbeat emotion like all the others, it taps into a rather deep shadowy instinct: the emotion of fear. Sure, some people try to make it fun and lighthearted with glowy pumpkins, silly costumes, and smiling ghosts that shout BOO, but at its core, Halloween is about horror, absolute horror. And horror is one of those things that keeps us on the edge of the seat. It gives us a sort of adrenaline rush. The “oh shit” moments trigger that pre-wired instinct of “fight or flight”. While to some, that nerve wracking feeling of uneasiness can be quite unpleasant, to others, it’s quite the thrill to seek. I’m one of those that falls in the latter category. I love horror! Horror books, horror films, and of course, horror games. Yeah, I’m a lazy dude who sits on the couch and spends a lot of time consuming horror media in some fashion. Something about the “nerves on edge” feeling I find to be quite exhilarating. But not just on October 31st.  Sure, Halloween is all about horror, but that doesn’t mean I limit myself to experience chills for thrills just once a year. In fact, the only reason I’m even writing this blog now is because horror is on the top of “normal” people’s minds. For horror fanatics though, this is a mere international celebration of what we do year round: scaring ourselves for fun. Scaring yourself…*for fun?* ZOINKS! I know( if you’re not into the horror genre)...sounds a little crazy. But being scared is actually quite the adrenaline rush and has some key benefits as we’ll get to Anyway, let’s dive into why I love horror and what life skills it taught me, Halloween or not...  “Safe Danger” First and foremost, horror strikes the feeling of danger. A killer with a chainsaw stalking in the night or a possessed nun with a hunt for blood is a lot safer behind the television screen than actually in your bedroom. Despite the obvious “fake” nature of the game, film, or book, senses are driving crazy. Your brain enters a high alert mode because it doesn’t differentiate between imagination and reality. It’s not that you’re watching a movie of a poor school girl getting chased by a deranged killer, it’s that killer is chasing *you*...or at least that’s what it feels like. Your brain puts you in the scene as if you are the one actually experiencing it, even though in reality you’re just reading, watching, or playing it. The combination of eerie cinematic lighting and tense musical scores add to scare as a whole. Everything visually and auditory is designed to literally frighten you by triggering certain alert sensors in the brain. Seeing a dimly lit knife dripping blood to the floor followed by a “strike” of a music chord as the shadowy figure lunges towards his victim all builds tension by creating an environment of terror. Environment is key. In fact, I’d argue that the environment surrounding the murder can be much scarier than the actual murder itself. It’s the *build up* to that murder that’s *really* scary! Sure, the “cheap jump scares” are the ones that get you to well, jump up and shake (or shit your pants for that matter). But that’s more like being surprised than actually fearful. Real horror comes from the anticipation, which is built through the atmosphere. It’s not knowing what’s going to happen next.  Playing Dead Space is a great example. Like yeah, there were some cleverly timed jump scares of Necromorphs (the zombie aliens) popping up out of nowhere while you’re traversing around an abandoned spaceship, but the real scary parts are the parts where there’s...nothing. Walking down a corridor and turning a corner, not knowing if you’ll be pounced by a Necromorph or safely continue down an empty hallway. Seeing a vent suddenly fall from the ceiling and panicking, only to realize it was just loosely screwed and no monster was there to make it fall. Those are the moments that truly get the heart pounding off your chest. Not knowing what’s going to happen. Not knowing if you’re safe or in danger. It’s not the jump scare moments that get you to think “OH SHIT! I’M IN DANGER!” that boil up the blood too much. It’s the moments of calm where you think “*Am I* in danger?*” that really elicits fear. Suspense builds up and just when you’re thinking “okay, maybe there’s nothing to be afraid of” that’s when it hits -- the surprise element (or jump scare). The stronger the environment, the more impactful that surprise element will be. Everyone remembers people in the theaters at the original Paranormal Activity leaping from their seats. *Spoiler Alert* The film had one cheap jump scare at the end, but it got nearly everyone to panic.  Why? Because the entire film built suspense. It built tension. It created atmosphere. It had you thinking “What’s going to happen?” Now to clarify I don’t think it’s that genius of a film. I don’t think Paranormal Activity was as amazing as everybody thinks it is, nor do I think it’s very terrible either. It’s very...okay. But it does do a decent job at creating that suspenseful environment. Was it dragged out? A bit. Was it like playing Where’s Waldo? Most definitely. Was the acting and script a bit lackluster? Yup. But nonetheless, it managed to prove that yes, in fact, the atmosphere t is key in a good horror. Get Out doesn’t really have any notable jump scares, but that film by Jordan Peele is one of the scariest I’ve ever seen! Again, the tension, the mystery, the environment is what makes it scary. It has this “What is going on? Something ain’t right…” sort of vibe to it that makes you feel frightened as hell. But why seek something like that at all? Why go after that eerie feeling of not knowing what’s going to happen and then getting slammed with a huge jump scare in your face that beats your heart out of your chest? Why induce yourself with panic? Well, it’s sort of like skydiving or riding a roller coaster, where you fall from great heights which would otherwise lead to death, but do so in a safe environment.  See, you can put yourself in these dangerous situations without actually risking your life. You get the adrenaline rush without ever having to die (or put in the stakes of that happening). It’s a sort of “high” feeling that kicks up your heart rate. And just like chasing any high, the more you do it, the more potent the high needs to be to get the same effect. As a horror junkie, you get sort of used to scary things. You can kind of begin to predict when the jump scare is going to happen and when there’s sort of a “red herring” of a fake jump scare. That’s where they build the music up and pan slowly, like the jump scare’s gonna happen and then add some sort of comic relief moment to get you to laugh instead of scream. Yeah, talk about a roller coaster (of emotions). Basically, the whole feeling you get is addicting. Like a skydiver seeking thrills as he jumps from a plane, the horror junkie seeks thrills entering a cabin in the woods (virtually).  Expect the Unexpected The more horror media you consume, the more you learn to expect the unexpected. That’s a good life skill to have. It allows you to react to what the situation actually presents, rather than to rely on what you had hoped for. You may hope entering that locker room is safe but you have to expect the unexpected and think there *could be* a zombie lurking around the corner. That way, if he is, you don’t completely panic. Not to say you won’t at all feel uneasy right then and there. I mean, feeling uneasy while watching your character (or actor) traverse down a dimly lit hallway is completely natural, even for the hardest horror veterans. It’s not about avoiding uneasiness though. It’s about being OKAY with uneasiness.That’s what getting into enough of Horror allows you to do. It allows you to [stay Smooth] despite the uneasiness. It’s the attitude of “alright, the uneasiness is there, but I won’t let it get to me.” It allows you to [take your time and become completely aware of your surroundings and act accordingly], rather than nonchalantly waltzing into a shack full of chainsaws, oblivious to the consequences of said decision. Being “on edge” is better than being just unaware of what’s going on. Of course, you don’t want to be so far on the edge that you’re anxious. You just want to be aware enough of what’s happening and what *could* potentially happen soon.  Eventually, you become sort of “numb” to that anxiety that creeps up anyway. You still feel it, sure. But it doesn’t overpower you. Horror is definitely an acquired taste. You build up a tolerance for fear like you build up a tolerance for alcohol. The more you drink it up, the less effect it has on you. And later, you begin to actually *crave* that flavor. You begin to crave not knowing what’s going to happen. You begin to crave the unknown. It excites you. The thought of being scared actually pumps you up instead of freezing you. Rather than saying “I can’t watch this!” as you flick the TV off, you’ll begin to think “Shit, that got me. That was awesome. Let’s do it again!”  Even if you expect the unexpected, it’s still possible to be surprised. Just when you think you’ve seen it all, heard it all before, there’s always a twist, something unexpected, that catches you completely off guard. And that’s thrilling as hell! I recently watched the movie called “The Boy”, starring Lauren Cohen (aka Maggie from the Walking Dead). She takes up a babysitting gig for this elderly couple’s son in a country house. Their “son” turns out to be a porcelain doll. That’s the gist of the plot. Things get creepy. Ya know, typical paranormal shit with walls banging, lights dimming, the doll moving on its own.*gasps* Now, I won’t spoil the ending for ya, but there’s a really big twist that I wouldn’t have even guessed I was thinking “yeah, yeah, stereotypical possessed doll plot. Been there. Done that. Here we go again. How cliche” But what was actually happening? The big reveal? I honestly did NOT see coming! It proved to me that there is no way to predict everything, and even in this genre so full of cliches, there’s always *still* that genuine surprise element. Cabin in the Woods pretty much follows the quintessential cliche formula. Group of kids that decide to stay a night in, you guessed it, a cabin in the woods. Oh and there’s a killer! Of course. That’s another film where I’m like “Uggh, here we go again!” But the twist flipped my world upside down. It pretty much follows the horror movie cliche but it does it in a clever way in which it ends up explaining *why* there are these cliches to begin with. I’ve learned to be open to surprise, even when there’s seemingly nothing left to surprise me.  Stay calm in hectic situations This is one of those helpful little life skills that come from consuming Horror. This applies mostly to the gaming part of horror though. I mean certainly, you can use this to avoid spilling your Coca Cola or popcorn all over the cinema floor, but I’m talking about making quick yet poised decisions without letting panic or fear get the best of you during tense moments. In Dead By Daylight,an asymmetrical multiplayer, for example, as a survivor, a heartbeat sound effect gets louder and faster as the killer approaches; it’s that combined with a tense orchestra that blasts when he finds you and starts chasing that makes things a bit...unsettling to say the least. Now, of course, the natural reaction in this moment is to FLIGHT! Just book it the fuck out of there. Where? I don’t know? But away from here! But that’s going to lead you to quickly getting stabbed by the edge of a long crimson blade faster than you can yell out a cry for HELP. You can’t just hold “W” and hope for the best in getting away. You have to run away with a game plan. You have to strategically use objects around the environment to your advantage in order to prolong the chase. Vaulting windows, throwing pallets, ducking behind objects to block line of sight. These are things you must do in order to successfully get away. But again, you can’t just do all this willy nilly.  You have to be tactful. You have to rationalize. Think. But you can’t really do that if you’re panicking and giving into that flight mechanic of your reptilian brain. That’s why you must learn to relax in these tense moments. Rather than rely on a panic stricken “OMG GTFO!” instinct, you must tap into the relaxed rational side of the brain in order to come out alive. Once you adapt to the fear, it becomes a sort of mind game, like a really fast game of chess, between you and the killer instead of a run from your murderer simulator. If you’re able to remain calm in a virtual nerve-wracking experience, you can more easily do that IRL. When it comes to a circumstance or event that induces panic or anxiety, instead of giving into that feeling, you strategically plan your next course of action, just like you strategically must choose which pallet to loop and which direction to loop it.  Practice resource management during crisis In games like Resident Evil,Dead Space, Silent Hill. and other shooter horrors you have to make every bullet count. Ammunition is rare to come by, especially on the higher difficulties (which is the real way to play, c’mon now). It’s not like a Call of Duty where bullets grow like grass. There’s a bit of plundering involved and using the resources you find, including ammunition, effectively. You can’t be trigger happy and fire off a full round of bullets hoping to land a shot. You have to aim carefully, precisely. A missed shot could be the difference between living to tell the tale and having your face mauled off by a zombie. There will be times where hiding from and avoiding a horde of enemies or successfully juking past them is a better decision than pulling the trigger, so that you can save what little bullets you have to take down that one big baddie with a long slimy tongue and knife long teeth later. On top of making every bullet count, usually, there’s some form of a health state in horror video games that you have to maintain. You can’t just crouch in a corner for a few seconds to get a second wind though. Taking a hit, means you’re injured. And being injured means you’re gonna stay that way until you find some method of healing. In Resident Evil that means finding herbs. Do you eat the herb now and heal a little bit or risk battling through the pain of injury to find another herb you can combine it with to create a more potent medicine that heals more health? The original RE games required you to collect ribbons in order to use a typewriter. And why would you want to use a typewriter? So you could actually SAVE your game. Without a ribbon, you couldn’t save your progress at all. Each freaking SAVE was a limited resource. You couldn’t just save after every little battle. Upon finding a ribbon you have to decide: Do you save now... or wait until you progress a little further? ...But what if you don’t make it further?  n the Last of Us, you’re juggling between the decision of making a med kit and heal yourself up or using that alcohol to create a molotov bomb and take down a large horde of enemies. You’re choosing whether to use a shiv to pick lock a door with a stash of good items, attaching it to your baseball bat to make it more deadly, or saving your ass by pulling the ole stabberooni if an infected manages to grab you. You can either break the plank you found on the ground to down an infected now or try to save that breakable makeshift melee weapon for a rainy day and attempt to sneak up for a stealth kill instead. The stakes are high in being able to successfully manage your resources in these games. It’s really between life and death. You can’t be even the least bit of wasteful in using them. Honestly, if you can play through these games, you have the skills to create a budget or even [run a business]. It all comes down to using your resources (and what little you may have) appropriately. Horror games provide a great experience in that department.  Make moral choices under pressure. Choosing the right thing to do can be hard enough, but doing it under some serious pressure where the consequences are high? Yeah man, that’s heavy. Some of these horror games have you picking and choosing between some flat out tough shit. Do you save the young journalist gal or computer geek guy? Who do you give food rations to during a zombie apocalypse when everyone is starving and there’s a very limited food supply? It’s questions like these that you’re asked in Telltale’s the Walking Dead that really test your moral compass. Coming across a stray dog in a bear trap in Resident Evil 4, do you help set him free? Or use a bullet to put him out of his misery? Or just leave him to suffer? Later, if you choose to help the dog/wolf (spoiler alter), when facing a giant ass troll, the dog distracts the beast, giving you an advantage in the boss fight. Boom! Karma baby!  The entire game of Until Dawn is literally based on making moral choices. It’s basically an interactive horror movie, where the decisions you make could be the difference between someone living or dying. Even some small, seemingly inconsequential decisions like whether to shoot an aluminum can or a squirrel can have large devastating effects later. They play on the whole “butterfly effect” idea - that one small thing, like stepping on a butterfly, can have LARGE unforeseen causes. In fact, each time you make a choice in Until Dawn, bright butterflies fly across the screen and there's a menu with butterfly icons that keeps track of your choices.  Being a game, you can of course go back and replay all the different scenarios, making different choices along the way. It’s interesting to see how your decisions pan out in the overall story. Every day we have to make choices, and it is the choices we make that determine our destiny. Being able to calmly approach decision-making, no matter how “frightening” it may be is a great skill to master and no doubt horror games give “xp” that can be used in real life. You can be humbled by the fact that just like the game, the small decisions you make every day can have a large impact later down the line in your “story”.  Horror is not so Horrible
Don’t be afraid to watch horror movies, read horror books, or play horror video games. Despite how intimidating they may seem on the surface, once you really get into them, they can provide more than just a bit of a thrill but also practice on emotional control. In short, becoming a horror junkie is a lazy way to overcome anxiety. If you can handle horror, you can handle any shit life brings you, because let’s face it, there’s probably nothing worse you’ll come across in real life than a cannibal revving up a chainsaw a few meters behind you. Stay Spooked & Happy Halloween! - N8
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Whether it’s playing an instrument or shooting hoops in basketball, if you want to get better at a skill, we’re always told to practice, practice, practice!
Makes sense, I mean it’s not like you can just magically wake up one day and all of the sudden gain the ability to do a kickflip on a skateboard. A skill like that does indeed require some sort of practice in order to master. But I’m too lazy to get off the couch yet alone put in the effort to actually practice, at least the way it’s implied when we’re told to do so. It’s implied that you either make it or break it. It’s like the definition of practice is “get good”, rather than what it actually means: “make progress”. Practice, the way people portray it, sounds like such an arduous task. I mean, it’s assumed that in order to practice and make it worthwhile, you have to go no holds barred. Go all or nothing. There’s a lot of pressure in practicing. It’s as if you don’t do a really good job at practicing then you’re a failure. It’s also assumed you should spend a ridiculous amount of time practicing in order to make any sort of noteworthy accomplishment. What the fuck? Practice is at the core doing a BAD job at something until you can actually do it quite decently, not something you should just naturally be good at. The whole notion that you need “good practice” is insane. What you need is practice. Period. Practice for the sake of practice. I mean I’m not saying you should practice bad habits. What I am saying though is that you shouldn’t worry yourself about fucking up or making mistakes during practice. That’s why it’s PRACTICE. You eventually get better. You eventually improve upon those mistakes, iron out the kinks. You get good without trying to get good because you are practicing. If you set out to master a skill, you probably won’t master it at all. You’ll get bored or tired before you even reach that point. But if you set out to fuck it up a bunch of times, guess what? You’ll probably actually master the thing you wanted to. They say practice makes perfect. False. Practice makes improvement. The goal of practice is simply to get better, not strive for the impossible, contrary to popular belief. You fuck up until you fuck up a bit less. That’s all. Even the most skilled athletes have off days, even the most talented musicians make mistakes. Perfection is unachievable and unachievable goals aren’t worth the effort, man. While there is value in the art of practice, it’s not so much about getting right. It’s about getting it wrong until you get it right, if that makes sense. Anyway, there’s always a lazy way to do things, including mastering talents and skills. Today we’re gonna get into how to Practice with Procrastination. More practice isn’t always better. There’s this faulty notion that in order to see any results from your practice that you must pour hours upon hours on enhancing your skill of choice. But true practice is spending any amount of time, even a brief moment, just a few minutes, doing the thing with complete and utter focus. If you want to learn guitar or be able to slam dunk or whatever the case may be, it doesn’t need to be a HUGE time investment on your part. Give it a little bit of time, then go back to lying on the couch. Don’t try to strum ‘til your fingers bleed or anything. Do just enough. Consistency is stronger than persistence. Consistently practice daily for a short amount of time, rather than persisting through long sessions of practice. You’ll get better slowly over time. It’s better to practice just a half hour every single day than it is to have a 4 hour straight jam session just once a week. Be consistent in how long and how often you practice and don’t try to make your sessions too long unless you can actually maintain that length consistently. Plus, the longer you practice, the more likely you are to lose focus in what you’re doing and you’ll start “going through the motions” without consciously aiming for improvement (the entire point of practice in the first place). Be Deliberate. Have a goal in mind, a tangible one. Not something vague like “I want to be an awesome guitarist”. But something striaght forward and simple like “I want to be able to play this scale.” Before you even start your practice session, procrastinate jumping in right away and know what it is you want to achieve. Don’t just pick up and start practicing. Focus first, then practice. Have a specific objective in mind. Don’t play the instrument just to play the instrument. Don’t dribble the ball just to dribble the ball. Ask yourself: Why am I about to practice? A vague answer like “to get better” is not good enough. What is it you want to get better at? Be specific. I mean if you’re gonna get your ass out of bed to practice something, you might as well have a solid freakin’ reason and not some ambiguous shit. [Embrace your inner sloth and be deliberate.] Decisively choose which branch to grab in order to climb higher, that is to say, choose which part of the skill you want to improve upon, before trying to raise your skill up to higher heights. If you don’t look where you’re going, you’ll end up lost. Make a direction and stick to it. Don’t wander around aimlessly in your practice hoping to some day to get better. Lay out a specific path to actually get there. First of all, have in mind what “better” even constitutes as. Does it mean you can play a specific chord without messing up? Does it mean you can do a backflip on the trampoline with your eyes closed? Does it mean you can do said backflip without a trampoline? Know what it is you want out of your practice. I mean, in archery you know you want to hit the bullseye, but I think that analogy could be used for any skill. Know where the bullseye is and take aim. Don’t shoot just to shoot and say “but I practiced.” No, you didn’t, and someone took an arrow to the knee! Be deliberate and take aim for the bullseye, rather than getting all trigger happy and firing randomly. Shooting doesn’t count unless you hit the bullseye (and know where it is for that matter), that is to say practicing doesn’t count unless you have a deliberate goal. Practice should not be hard work but deliberate work. Do it nice n’ slow. Speaking of embracing your inner sloth, when you practice, [be slow. No seriously. Slow. It Down.] It’s important you take a slow ass time to do things, especially in practice, so that you get a feel for the motion in your body. Professional athletes will take the time to practice their tricks or maneuvers that they use on the field or on the court using completely slow motion to the point where they can feel every little muscle twitch. Similarly, musicians will practice scales moving their fingers slowly inch by inch rather than rushing to the next note to play it as quickly as possible. The premise is that if you can get a solid feel for how every muscle moves while in slow motion, then you can convert that to full speed and know the correct muscle movement. Practice should never be at full speed though. Full speed should be saved for performance. The only time you should do full speed during practice is to prove to yourself that you “got it”. That’s more like rehearsal though. Rehearsal is performing without an audience. Practice is bettering yourself to the point where you deserve to have an audience. You don’t deserve an audience if you always rehearse instead of practice. It’s better to practice correctly at a slow pace then to practice incorrectly at a fast one. I mean, what’s the point of sweeping through a scale really fast if you’re missing every other note? Even if you have reached the point where you’re comfortable enough to do it fast, again, it’s not rehearsal. It’s not performance. It’s practice. Do it nice n’ slow man. Slow n’ steady wins the race. One thing at a time, dude. Rather than trying to master everything about a new skill all at once, break down big complex acts into small components, bite-sized chunks. Don’t get yourself all scatter-brained trying to perform an entire acrobat performance all at once. First learn to juggle then learn to jump through hoops. Don’t try to juggle and jump through hoops all at once. There’s this joke that goes “How do you eat an elephant? ...one bite at a time.” It’s quite a humorous way to say that even big things that seem impossible, like eating a gigantic mammal, can in fact be done one bite at a time. Ya know, you wouldn’t try to swallow the elephant whole. If you’re learning a song on an instrument, practice it one note at a time. If you’re learning how to do a trick on your bike, practice it one motion at a time. Master a skill One. Step. At a time. Don’t rush it. Stop when you make a mistake. Doesn’t matter what level of mastery you are at within a given skill, you are going to make a mistake in trying to get right. But a bigger mistake than the mistake itself is to just carry on through despite the mistake. Maybe you keep playing the song if you played the wrong note. Maybe you go through the whole dance if you misstepped. The problem with doing such a thing is that you learn to ignore mistakes rather than learn to get better. There’s this idea that you should never let mistakes stop you. And to a certain extent, that’s true. You don’t want to let mistakes bring you down or quit entirely. But mistakes. Yeah. You should let them stop you. You should let them bring you to a complete halt. Instead of continuing the entire act after the mistake..stop at it. Examine why you made the mistake. Were your fingers curved a bit too much that you ended up in the wrong fret? Were your toes pointed at a slightly wrong angle causing you to trip? Don’t just keep talking after you stutter, stop and examine how your mouth is moving. How did you make the mistake? is what you need to know and you can’t know that if you just trdge on through it. The next step would be to really hone on into the mistake. Practice that specific part of the overall act. Stopping at your mistake allows you to see your weakness. It’s better to heal those weaknesses rather than pretend they aren’t even there. Practice is repetition. Just don’t repeat your mistakes. Stop at them until you get them right. Take lots of breaks. Ahh, taking a break. Definitely a procrastin8r thing to do. You need breaks. They’re essential. Seriously. Grinding it out nonstop is gonna lead to burn out. You’ll lose motivation to continue practicing and you’ll lose focus on what improvements need to be made if you go on for too long. Put aside practice and break once in a while, reflect on how you did and where you need to go. Relax. A break gives you both the physical and mental rejuvenation that you need in order to practice another day. Again, you want to remain consistent in your practice time. By giving yourself plenty of rest, you can guarantee you’ll be up for more practice later. You don’t wanna wear yourself out by pushing yourself through some hardcore long practice session if you can only make it through one. We always look at successful people and idolize how long they must’ve practiced. What we fail to notice is just how many breaks they must’ve taken in between all that practice. Even the fastest person in the world, Usain Bolt, says he’s a lazy person and likes to chill out. I mean this guy is a multi Olympic gold medalist, literally the fastest man on Earth, and he needs a break every now n’ then. Breaks are a necessary part of effective practice.You get a chance to regain energy and a chance to not even have to think about it. Don’t feel like practicing? Just think about it. After all, it’s the thought that counts. In between breaks and actually practicing, you can also do a little bite of mental practice. No idea to get off the couch and do anything. Just lay back and think. There’s this idea dubbed “The Law of Attraction”, which basically states that the more you think about something, the more likely it is to happen. Celebrities like Jim Carey, Will Smith, Oprah Winfrey, and Micahel Phelps swear by it. They have mentioned frequently that a lot of their success came from them simply imagining it happening. In their head, they practiced acting or swimming and soon became the great actors and athletes they are today. Of course, that’s not to say you can merely think your way to the top. Obviously it wasn’t their thoughts alone that earned Oprah her own talk show or Phelps his multi gold Olympic medals, for example, but it did help. Even if you don’t feel like actually practicing, you can at least take the time to sit there and imagine doing the thing slowly (motion by motion) so that when you do go through and physically practice, you’ll be prepared to let it out and go with the flow. Seeing yourself land the trick or play the song is a vital step towards actually doing it. You have to believe you can before you can. Keep track of your progress It can be very demotivating if you don’t see any sort of progress within yourself. Progress is slow and you’re not going to learn a new skill overnight or even over a few weeks. It takes years. Years of consistent practice. Years of consistent betterment. Until you level up. So if you’re not actually viewing the progress, you’ll feel like you’re going no where. And speaking of leveling up, you can even gamify your progress and turn practice time into game time. I have a whole list of some of my favorite gamification apps, I’ll link [here]. Basically you want to be able to visualize how well you’re coming along with things. You want to be able to view your development over time. People make progress videos on YouTube all the time, showing how they started and where they got to. Now, you don’t necessarily have to publicize your progress but putting together a sort of montage of how you’ve improved over time or keeping a portfolio can be helpful in encouraging you to keep on practicing. You can see how much you absolutely SUCKED and don't suck so bad any more. Remember, you’re not aiming to be perfect, just to suck a lot less than you did when you started. Whether you use a progress video, project portfolio, gamification app, or even a journal, aim to keep track of what your skill then versus now and see it develop in progress. Practice is Progress at its core, and if you’re not seeing your own progress then it doesn’t feel like you’re practicing has been worthwhile. Remind yourself it is worthwhile by tracking that progress. Like watching the XP bubble pop up in an RPG after every little swing of the sword, it can be addicting to see how every one of your moves gains you xp IRL. Half-ass practice is better than NO practice. As we covered last week, [some things are worth doing half ass than not doing at all]...and practice is one of those things. Even if you're shitty at your skill, don’t mind it. Even if you’re absolute trash at playing guitar, keep playing. Even if you miss every pitch, keep throwing. Even if you can barely balance on a skateboard, yet alone pull a trick, keep riding. The point of practice is not to be good but to become good. Take some minutes. Just a few. And practice. Again, you don’t need to go balls deep into a multi-hour practice session. You don’t need to work your ass off. Just do enough with enough focus to be able to tell yourself “I’m getting better.” Totally half ass it. Hey, that's an oxy moron. Anyway, It’s better to gain a little bit of xp then no xp at all. Take it easy, N8 There’s this faulty idea in society that if you have to do something, especially if it's of great importance, you oughta do it well. No holds barred. Do your best. Make it count.
Everything you do must be done with amazement and boldness. It’s not acceptable to do anything less than excellence. Settling for mediocrity is settling for failure. That’s the idea that’s pushed out there. You’re pressured to choose either go zero or one hundred, and oftentimes when you realize you can’t hit that one hundred, you just take the zero and choose not to do it at all. I mean why give it what you got if what you got isn’t enough? Maybe you’re like a 30 or a 40 but if the standard is 100, then you’re just gonna throw your hands in the air and not even make any sort of attempt to make it happen. We have a big strive for “perfection.” Like if you’re not being absolutely stellar at your performance, you’re a failure. It’s black or white. Either make it to the finish line or don’t start the race. Either you do it at a complete level of mastery or don’t do it at all. Either be the best or don’t even try. You’re either at the top or the bottom; there’s no middle. I don’t know about you, but the standard of perfection makes me want to just sit on the couch all day and not put in any sort of effort at all in anything. I mean I ain’t perfect and I ain’t ever gonna be, so screw it! ...is what I say. If you ask me to hold my breath underwater for two minutes and I can barely last a few seconds, I’m not gonna go out of my way to even try. Like what’s the point? But ya know what? I don’t buy into this whole notion of all or nothing You don’t need to excel in order to be great. You don’t need to be perfect order to earn success. You just need to be...good enough, and at that, you can be quite shitty. You can suck at it. You can half ass it. See, some things are beneficial to do at any level, not just max level. I’m talking about how it’s completely okay to be “in the middle”, instead of at the top. It’s okay to be lazy and barely put in any effort instead of work your ass off to the point of burn out. It’s okay to be a slacker and put in what little effort and ability you have, even if it’s not the absolute best, even if it’s barely anything at all. You can be shit at something but that doesn't make you shit. Despite whatever sort of arbitrary societal standards are out there, you don’t actually have to “win or die.” Your worthiness as a person does not have to be determined by whether or not you’re going above and beyond the call of duty. Speaking of Call of Duty, just because you die in every match doesn’t mean it’s not worth playing. Take the shots you can, even if you miss. Being a noob doesn’t mean you should uninstall the game (even though all the toxic hardcore players will tell you that along with insults to your mother). That is to say, you don’t have to be a master at a skill (playing Call of Duty or otherwise) in order to even spend time doing it. It’s okay spending time doing an activity as a noob. It’s okay to spend time on an activity when you’re utter shit at it. Just because you suck at something doesn’t mean you shouldn’t invest the effort into doing it. You may be an idiot, who can’t do things well or doesn’t know shit, but that means there’s room to grow, not that you shouldn’t do it. Besides, you’ll get better...eventually. Just do what you can for now. Accomplish what you actually can, not what you’re expected to. Your worthiness as a human being is not measured by your level of feats. You’re human and that very fact is in itself worthy. There’s a quote I’d like to share with you form Zig Ziglar that really creates the TLDR version of what I’m saying, and it goes like this: “Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.” It’s a bit odd. It sounds like it’s saying that you should do a shit/poor job in anything really meaningful. That doesn’t make sense. I mean, shouldn’t I be good at something worth doing? It took me a while and fully embracing my laziness to understand what it meant. It’s not saying to just do things poorly for the sake of doing them poorly. It’s saying there are certain things in life that Even IF you do them poorly, they are still worth doing in the first place. Even IF you put in a shoddy effort it’s still valuable. The very act of doing them is worthy, even without any sort of excellence or amazing feat. Taking care of your hygiene and mental health, developing a social life, building a career -- these are the types of things that are “worth it” no matter what, even if you manage to put in a shitty job at it. Imagine a diamond. It’s a bit rough on the edges, a bit stained with dirt, and weathered. But it’s still a diamond. It’s still very valuable. It’s still worth holding onto rather than chucking in the river since it’s full of flaws. Likewise, there are certain “diamonds” in life, certain things that hold value even if they otherwise look terrible. They are worth embracing for the sake of embracing them, and not necessarily owning the “perfect diamond.” You shouldn’t chuck these values away just because they’re a little rough around the edges. In other words, it’s not zero or one hundred. It’s not black or white. There’s an entire spectrum, a bit of grey. Allow yourself to squeeze in the middle rather than choose to either jump to the top or fall flat to the bottom. This isn’t either or. There are many rungs on the ladder. Do what you can. The lazy thing would be to just do nothing, am I right? But true laziness is doing just enough. It’s doing what you can, even if it’s hardly anything at all. Laziness is doing what you want, as much as you want, without forcing yourself or pressuring yourself to exceed your own abilities or work ethic. You can succeed with having to exceed, if that makes sense. You don’t have to win the World Series in order to play baseball. You don’t have to become a millionaire in order to start a business. You don’t have to be the most popular person in town in order to have a social life. Don’t compare yourself to others or the standard of perfection. Compare yourself to your own past self and see how far you have come. Do what you can, rather than do what you think is expected of you. The expectation given to us to do it ALL the way. No holds barred. Either top it or flop it. That’s what we’re told. Get good or get out. It’s as if being in between being nothing and being superb is completely unacceptable in this achievement-driven society. But you should “stay in” no matter what. Play the game, even if you’re not the top athlete. “The sky is the limit” so they say. No, the limit is wherever you want it to be. You don’t have to fly high in order to flap your wings. Go as high as you want to, as high as you are able to. You’re not worthless just because you’re not top dog. Don’t listen when they say “just do it”. That implies you have to make it or break it. Get there or get no where. It implies you either succeed OR fail, like there’s no such thing as getting closer. Look, life is not that “one or the other”. There is in fact the possibility to get closer to a goal, without actually reaching it and that is completely okay. If you want to lose thirty pounds but only lose four, you did it! You did what you could. Do it “a little bit, do it “kind of”, do it...the lazy way. Use the resources of time, money, and energy that you personally have to do what you can. Don’t aim to do more than you have the resources for. Success is valued more than Progress in society. We look at celebrities and big entrepreneurs and we celebrate the success they made. We don’t cheer for or admire them for the Progress, the thing that got them there (to success) in the first place. We don’t understand the idea that those who are at the top had to, at some point be at the bottom. They did “what they could” until they reached the top. They didn’t just reach the top overnight. Progress is what gets us from point A to point B. It is what gets you from loser to winner, from nobody to somebody. Every change is a result of progress. It’s not a world of winners and losers. It’s a world of people moving from one role to the other. It’s a world of change. “Winning” is present, though it seems we often seem to think of it in past tense. If we describe someone as “winning” at life, it means they have already won. It means they have already paved their way to success, not that they are inching towards it. They already have the money, the looks, the charm if they are “winning” I mean, that’s the type of diction we’ve adopted in this crazy society. Winning really means you are currently in the act of achieving a win, not that the win has already been achieved, even though we like to think otherwise. Since “winning” is an act in the present, it means right now, you are winning. There’s forward momentum, forward progress. You’re doing what you can and that is in fact winning. Not Just Good. Good Enough. Get good, noob! - a common catchphrase you’ll hear if you play any sort of online game if your skills just aren’t up to par to people that have literally hundreds of hours clocked in. It has this tone of get good or don’t play. Like if you’re not good at what you’re doing, don’t even try. Don’t waste your time. But I mean, how do you “get good” if you don’t spend time sucking for a while? Anyone that tells you to “get good” had to be at a level of “suck” at some point. I mean maybe there are some people with a sort of “natural talent” for things, but even then, time and practice is at the heart of anyone “good” at something. Don’t be discouraged because of your own ability (or lack thereof) compared to others or what others expect. Compare yourself to you, not anyone else. Practice the art of being not just good, but good enough. That’s not to say you can’t or won’t get any better. But to feel like who you are and what you’re doing is actually enough. You want to feel competent in your skills, no matter what level you’re at. If you’re in the constant chase of getting better, you’ll never appreciate what you have in the now and will always have that aching feeling of just not being enough. That’s not to say you shouldn’t aim for improvement, but to not base your feeling of self worth on reaching said improvement. “Be proud of how far you’ve come and have faith in how far you can go”, an old quote goes. That is to say “I’ve done enough and I believe I can do more”. It’s a different attitude than “I won’t be good enough until…” fill in the blank (lose weight, get a new job, get married, etc.) We set these expectations to reach and feel like “until” we get there, we’re rather worthless. The even bigger catch? We always want MORE. We always want BETTER. This puts us in a constant loop of never being good enough, because we’re always looking for the next upgrade. There’s always an “until” Instead of saying you won’t be good until whatever, say “ya know what? I’m good enough, damnit!” And that’s better than being good because you’ve reached a level of self acceptance that many do not. You’ve accepted your flaws. You’ve accepted how good you are at something, even if it’s actually pretty bad. Acceptance is the first step towards recovery, right? Accept who you are and how “good” you are and believe that it all is in fact “enough”. Recover from that aching feeling of self doubt that you aren’t worthy at all. You don’t have to be any more or do any more to be worthy. Sure, some day you will be better, but you are still enough even now. Never think to yourself “I should be doing this better.” That in turn gives you the attitude of “I’m not good enough right now.” But you need to stop and put yourself in a place where you feel comfortable doing what you can do, rather than what you “should” do. Improvement comes naturally over time, but not if you consistently beat yourself up over not achieving said improvement. By saying “I can’t get any better but I keep trying”, you create a self fulfilling prophecy and well, fail to get any better. If, on the other hand, you accept your current level of ability and think it’s “good enough”, you’ll be more inclined to actually improve in the future, as long as you make slow n’ steady PROGRESS, rather than attempting to hit success right away. Remember, you are winning; you ar ein the process of creating a win...and that’s enough to claim victory! If you don’t feel like going out to the bar, sit on the porch with a glass to get some fresh air instead. Good enough. If you can’t shower because you’re too depressed or tired, put on some deodorant or spray some fragrance. Good enough. If you haven’t eaten but don’t feel like cooking anything, snack on some crackers. Good enough. If you don’t have the energy to write a full blog, write just one single paragraph. Good enough. If you know you should exercise to be fit and healthy, but don’t have it in you to hit the gym, take a nice stroll around the block. Good enough. Aim not to finish the race, but at least start it and see how far you can go. One Step is just as admirable as running a whole marathon. Finishing a marathon is quite an amazing feat. No doubt. But so is just taking one step in the face, The fact is, you made your move. It wasn’t far. It wasn’t much. It quite frankly SUCKED. You were absolutely trash! But you did it. You did something. The takeaway here is that some things are better to do and suck at than completely avoiding doing it all. Maybe not necessarily a marathon per say. That was more like a metaphor. But things like taking care of your health, mentally and physically, building rapport with those you care about, and finding happiness are things that you can suck at but still do. Brushing your teeth for a few seconds is better than not brushing your teeth at all, for example. Paying some of your bills is better than paying none of them at all. Eating a little bit is better than starving. One step is all it takes. One step is all you need. Slow n’ steady wins the race. It’s NOT about earning a Participation Trophy. It’s about Self Acceptance. Ah, participation trophies, the bane of millennials. Though who’s to blame? The kids who got the participation trophies or the parents who handed them out? But I digress. Look, there’s a fine line between feeling good enough even though you suck and feeling entitled to rewards you didn’t earn. You shouldn’t feel like you deserve the best when you’re not best. You shouldn’t feel like you’ve earned success when you’ve barely earned a living. If you do take that simple storll aorund the block instead of hitting the gym, you can’t expect to reach the same level of fitness and health. If you do eat crackers instead of a full cooked meal, you can’t expect to get the same level of nutrition. You get the gist. You reap what you sow. Don’t beat yourself up if you only have the energy to reap very little. Be happy with what you have, what you earned, instead of longing something out of your reach. You have to come to grips with the reality of the fact that just because you are “good enough” doesn’t mean you deserve anything “good.” It also doesn’t mean you can’t or won’t get any better. By saying you’re good enough, you’re not saying “I deserve the best”. No. What you’re saying is “Even though I do not have the best or even deserve the best, that’s okay.” You love yourself for who are and don’t spoil yourself like an entitled brat, acting like you should have it all when you barely put in anything to earn it. Wrapping Up: So go ahead. Suck at things. Be shit at it. Absolute garbage. And keep in mind that it’s still worth doing anyway, despite your lack of skill, knowledge, expertise, or energy to perform. Be a N00b. You don’t have to be PRO to play the game. Don’t let any sort of arbitrary expectations convince you that you’re a worthless. Find worth in yourself, even if right now you’re no cream of the crop. Learn the guitar one chord at a time. Don’t try to shred like Jimi Hendrix the first time you pick it up. Be patient with yourself. Take time to do things that are good for you, even if you aren’t too good at it. After all, too much perfection is a mistake. It's better to go half-ass than no ass. You ask someone out on a date and they tell you they “just aren’t interested”. You apply for a job and are told you're not the right candidate. You are in a relationship for a few years and are told “I don’t feel the same way anymore”. You pitch a business idea and told it’s never gonna work.
Rejection. It happens. It’s sort of one of those inevitable things in life. Not everyone is gonna like you. Not everyone is gonna agree with you or go along with what you want. Not everyone is gonna support you or root for you. It sucks. I mean rejection hurts. It does. Doesn’t matter how tough you may be or how thick your skin is, when you’re rejected, you’re gonna feel pain. And if you don’t, well, either you’re a psychopath or just lying to yourself. It not only cuts deep into our self esteem, but actually triggers a survival panic mechanism. When you get rejected, you literally feel like you’re gonna die. This traces back to the time of our ancestors when being rejected by your tribe literally meant the difference between life or death. You couldn’t survive alone; you needed a tribe for protection. Our brains are basically pre-wired to associate rejection with death and trigger a sense of nerve wracking panic when we face rejection. You’re, in most cases of rejection, not at all going to die. But that doesn’t mean we don’t feel that pain. It’s a natural part of being human. Look, we’ve all been rejected in some way or another. Even the best and the brightest among us have had their fair share of rejection, if not more so than the average person. It’s not so much about avoiding rejection entirely, but about being able to handle it when it happens. Today, we’re gonna take a look at how to do just that - how to face rejection using what I like to call the “lazy method”. The lazy method is all about minimizing effort and maximizing results. Handling rejection is not something you’re gonna have to work hard to try and attain. It’ll be nice n’ easy. Without further ado, let’s dive right into it! Accept your emotions. Don’t worry about them There’s no doubt you’re gonna feel pretty shitty when you get rejected. No one likes being rejected. I mean, I don’t know anyone pretty gun-ho about that sort of thing, like “Oooh I can’t wait ‘til someone turns me down again. What a great experience that it is!” That just isn’t how it goes. Rejection sucks. The way it makes you feel sucks. That much is unavoidable, unfortunately. And while you can’t change the person’s mind nor can you change the way you feel, you can change how you react to it. Your reaction to rejection is completely under your control. The key is to not try and alter your emotions. That’s way too much work to try and do. Don’t kid yourself and say “this is fine” or pretend to be happy. Trying to change how you feel is strenuous and more often than not, completely ineffective. It’s a waste of time and energy. Instead, take the lazy path. Just accept it. Be hurt. Accept the pain. Accept the fact that you just got rejected. Accept the way it makes you feel. You don’t have to like it, but just accept it. Feel it but don’t wallow in it. Acknowledge your emotions but drown yourself in them. Be hurt, but don’t worry. When you worry, you constantly pick at a scab and don’t let it heal. You’ll heal, eventually, but not if you keep picking, so don’t worry. Take the attitude of “That’s a shame, but okay.” It’s a bit of a disappointment, sure, but doesn’t have any sort of detrimental impact on you. You approach rejection with a stoic calmness, able to welcome it with open arms, like your cousin you don’t really like that you see at a family reunion. You suck up and just greet him and don’t whine about it. Acceptance of rejection is Smooth. Being able to feel the pain without letting it control you is part of embracing your Inner-Sloth. Leaning back and saying “whatever” instead of jumping up to beg “please” is the lazy way. Remember, despite every instinct in your body telling you “I AM GOING TO DIE”. You’re not, I assure you, NOT going to die. You don’t need a tribe to survive in the modern world. Rejection is not the end of you, nor should you make it out to be that way. Rejection is just a thing. You’re not going to say yes to everybody, so don’t expect everybody to say yes to you. You’re gonna make someone else feel bad about your rejection of them (even if it’s something as simple as an annoying sales call), and someone else is gonna make you feel bad when they reject you. It’s the circle of life. Don’t become too attached to a specific outcome. Always do “just enough.” Never too much. That’s a pretty standard principle when it comes to being lazy. You don’t want to emotionally invest too much into getting the sort of acceptance that you’re looking for. Like say you want to ask someone out. They pique your interest. You’re hopeful about meeting them for a date. But you’re not planning out a wedding, kids, and whole life. Because if they do happen to say “No” now instead of saying “No” to a fun night out on town, they’re saying no to your entire future. If you do imagine a BIG result in earning their approval, you’ve made the stakes high in your own head. You pictured the outcome larger than it needed to be, larger than it really is. Part of handling your emotions AFTER rejection is to get your hopes up so high BEFORE it even happens. In other words, don’t make things a big deal in the first place. You must approach the situation with the attitude of “Let’s see what happens” rather than “I have in my head exactly what I want to happen.” Be open to how the story unfolds and don’t try to write it yourself. Approach things with curiosity rather than expectation. Pain from rejection is worsened by expecting things to go a certain way, and when they don’t, we’re left feeling extremely down. Ease the impact of rejection by taking expectation out of the equation. Now you’re left with just “finding out” how it goes instead of holding out hope for an outcome that might not even happen. If you must expect something, then expect everything. Every possible scenario, including getting rejected. Now it won’t hit you as a surprise if and when you do get rejected, you’ll just be like “I saw this coming. No big deal.” That’s not to say you should always expect to get slapped in the face with rejection. No. But do not rule it out as a possibility. Possibilities are unlimited. Things could go your way...or not. Either way, it’s all good. Ask yourself WHY you are getting rejected. I don’t mean in the sort of negative connotation of “Oh woe is me. Why am I not good enough?” You have to believe you are good enough. You’re just getting better. Rejection happened because of something you did or said or the way you did or said it, or it could just be an incompatibility issue between you and the other person. Whatever the case may be, rejection is not at all an indicator of your worthiness or lack thereof. The person rejected the thing you did, not you. You have to keep that in mind. They are rejecting your words and actions, not you as a person. You have to seriously ask yourself WHAT you did wrong, so you can learn from it. Rejection is an opportunity to learn WHY you were rejected, not to see yourself as someone who gets rejected. You may not ever be able to change that person’s mind and in all honesty, it ain’t worth the effort to do so. You can change yourself based on the reason WHY you were rejected in the first place though, so that you won’t be rejected for the same REASON in the future. Don’t base your self worth on someone else’s approval. No one can tell you what you’re worth unless you let them. No one’s opinion of you matters, beside your own. Rejection is harsher when you reject yourself. Like I said, more often than not, the person is rejecting a thing (you did or said), not a person (you). You are the only person rejecting yourself when it really comes down to it. The more you beat yourself up about a rejection, the more, in turn, you become the rejector, rejecting your own worthiness, telling yourself that you just aren’t good enough. It’s a terrible loop of thought to trap yourself in. You’re placing your self esteem on some other person’s acceptance. That, my friend, is completely outside of your control. They have free will too, ya know? They can choose to reject your offer, as much as you can choose to reject theirs. You can’t control someone else’s behavior, nor can they control yours. What you can control is your own behavior, your own thoughts and words, your own reaction to things, including the rejection itself. If someone doesn’t give you approval, let it slide, man. Don’t disapprove of yourself just because someone else does. Take Risks Doesn’t sound like too lazy of a thing to take risks, does it? I mean getting up, out of your way to “put yourself out there” Look, laziness isn’t about doing nothing; it’s about doing the thing that takes the least amount of effort and yields the biggest results. So ya gotta look at what takes more effort: taking a bit of risk or pining over the possibility of rejection. Look, chances are, ruminating over facing rejection is actually worse than the actual rejection itself. And by worse, I mean it takes a helluva lot more emotional energy. Be lazy and save your energy. Take risks and face that rejection, rather than “working” yourself up about how it might happen. And that’s the thing: it might happen. It might not. You don’t know. Like we said, it’s all about possibility. Taking risk means being open to possibility, both good and bad. That’s all. Remember, if you fear rejection, you are only focused on one single possibility in the millions that could happen. Don’t be afraid. Again, you’re not gonna die from it. Worse case scenario, literally worse case, is the person turns you down. OH NO! Scary stuff. ZOINKS! Like really? C’mon now. Expand your comfort zone. Let’s imagine your “comfort zone” as a bed. Now, I don’t know about you, but I prefer a bigger bed. Bigger bed = more comfort. “Breaking outside of your comfort zone” is then in a sense, sleeping on a bigger bed. You have more room to put up pillows and be cozy. By taking risks, you are creating that bigger bed. It’s No Big Deal It may be sort of difficult to think “Ah, no big deal” when you get rejected at first. You’re not used to it. You’re...comfortable in a small ass bed. You haven’t expanded your limitations. But here’s the thing, while you can’t change how rejection feels, you can reach the point where that feeling just doesn’t affect you. It’s sort of a numbers game, the more rejection you face, the less impact it has on you. Think of it like eating spicy food. At first, it burns your mouth like a fiery volcano, but eventually, your tongue becomes sort of numb to it. Eat enough spicy stuff and you’ll actually begin to crave hot flavor. Similarly, rejection may burn you, but keep eating it up and you’ll begin to actually crave it. That nerve wracking feeling, it’s an energy , adrenaline. It fires you up, like some good hot sauce. Yeah, the burn is still there, but you’ve adapted your taste to enjoy it. It’s not a big deal. It’s not unbearable, a bit of heat but not scorching your balls off in an inferno. Relax, rejection isn’t a big deal, and if you think it is, then you just haven’t faced enough of it yet. Don’t take it personally. It’s not all about you. Seriously. Get out of your goodman Ego! Earlier, we talked about how it’s important to take a lesson and learn from rejection, by asking yourself WHY you got rejected. But sometimes, you can do everything right. You can say everything right. All things are right on your side. But the other person still rejects you. Uh oh! Now what? Listen up. It ain’t about you! Don’t take it personally. Don’t take it to heart. Just. Move. On. They may be having a bad day. They may have just lost their dog or their brother was in a car accident or maybe they got in a fight with their mother. You don’t know their story or where they’re at emotionally. Sometimes there are external circumstances that lead to rejection and there’s nothing you can do about it. Accept it (as with any rejection). Even IF it was something you actually did or said wrong that got you rejected. Still. Don’t take it personally. Criticize the THING you did or said, not yourself. It’s just trial and error If you’ve ever played any of the “hard” games like Dark Souls, Cuphead, Super Meat Boy or really any classic video game, you’ll know you’re not going to win on your first try. You’re gonna see that “Game Over” screen as much as you see the background image of your own phone. You’re gonna die and you’re gonna die a lot. But dying, getting that Game Over, that’s part of playing the game. You don’t earn that Platinum Trophy without fucking up a thousand times. You win the game by memorizing enemy patterns and level layouts. That doesn’t happen in just one try. Approach life just like a video game. Game Over, rejection, just means it’s time to try again. It’s all trial and error and you’ll hit the mark..eventually. Learn from it Of course, trial and error is two parts. There’s trial and then there’s error. It’s not error error. In other words, if you get rejected because of one thing, don’t do it again. Learn from it. Level up. Rejection and mistakes go hand in hand, and both are meh. It’s more of an opportunity to learn and grow then it is of any sort of catastrophe. Rejection won’t destroy you. Your own mental attitude will. Take it easy, N8 |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives
March 2022
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