Sounds simple enough.
Stress at work, social anxiety, relationship problems. Just stop giving a fuck.
Okay, cool. But like...how? How does one stop giving a fuck?
Just magically, like that. *POOF* Okay, now I don’t give a fuck.
Well, first we have to look at what giving a fuck actually means before you, well, put a stop to it.
By giving something time, you are giving a fuck to it. By paying money for something, you give a fuck about it. By pouring energy into something, you give it a fuck.
Time is the most valuable asset you have, especially as a procrastin8r. Money is earned by putting the time in. You have to spend time focusing energy on something in order to get it done. Time and how you spend it determines your destiny. What you choose to procrastinate on ‘til later versus give a fuck about right now determines who you are.
But that’s the thing, you may not be any sort of time-traveling wizard. You can’t save time in a bottle. But you do choose what to do right NOW, and in turn choose what to procrastinate on for later.The thing you do now -- that’s the thing you give a fuck about, and the thing you procrastinate on doesn’t really matter all too much to you. Procrastinate with purpose. Choose what to give a fuck about right now and what to put off ‘til later (or never).
Energy doesn’t necessarily have to be physical exertion, by the way. When you put energy into something, you can also be employing emotional and/or mental energy.
Like not only do you physically have to get up off the couch to go do the thing you were gonna do, but you have to emotionally put energy into it as well. Obviously what you care about (emotionally) whatever it is you got up for, at least a little bit, otherwise, you wouldn’t have gotten up in the first place. You had to think about it too, putting in your mental energy to do so.
You could be laying there on the couch, seemingly inactive, but still be spending a great deal of emotional and energy, just thinking about shit. You’re tiring yourself out just by laying there, man. You got to relax, relax. Like totally chill. Totally embrace your Leisure.. Not deplete your energy thinking or worrying about shit while doing something physically passive.
When you worry about what other people will think about you, for example, you’re investing emotional energy into others’ approval. You’re giving a fuck about their opinion of you. You’re putting in the mental effort, spending hours to think of ways to people please and earn their approval. That’s depleting your sources of fucks (time and energy).
Thus, when we say not to give a fuck, we mean not to give a fuck about such pointless matters, but let’s first get into the benefits of not giving a fuck.
Not giving a fuck is awesome.
Not giving a fuck gives you freedom. It relieves stress. It puts you in your power.
By saying you don’t give a fuck, you’re saying you don’t invest the resources you have (time, money, and energy) into it.
You’re saying that it just ain’t deserving of any sort of expenditure on your part. You’re, in two letters saying NO to whoever or whatever it is. And NO is a powerful little word.
Some things just aren’t worth it, man, and because of that, you don’t give a fuck too easily. You have a limited amount of fucks to give, a limited amount of time, money, and energy. And you must give those fucks out very, very sparingly.
Not giving a fuck is simply recognizing the value of your own assets, recognizing that your resources are in fact limited. Limited and valuable, like diamonds.
You wouldn’t go around handing random people diamonds if you had them. Why? Because they’re precious. They’re rare.
That’s how you must treat your fucks. You must treat them like they are some sort of prized treasure. Doing so allows you to be selective. And being selective means you have power.
You’re not a charity, so don’t act like one. Don’t just freely give fucks out for free.
If you don’t value the fucks you give, then no one else will do that for you. You set the price tag on your “fucks”. Don’t be a cheap whore. Make it quite a price to pay to get a fuck out of you.
There should always be some sort of benefit you receive in return for giving a fuck. Your goal is to set the check and balances straight by making your act of giving a fuck actually worth it. If you feel like you’ve gotten a “raw deal” out of life, it’s because you’re giving too much of a fuck about things you shouldn’t give a fuck about.
Make your deal in life fair by laying out your own expectations instead of giving a fuck about other people’s expectations and trying to live up to them. You set the standard. You abide by your own dude way.
Not giving a fuck also means recognizing your own mortality and not acting like you have forever, an unlimited supply of time, to do the things you want to.
It allows you to actually live life instead of merely exist. By realizing your time on this earth is limited, you're prone to avoid decisions that are wasteful (of your fucks) and instead fruitful.
You can’t be a complete uncaring bastard.
Despite the clear advantages of not giving a fuck, you do have to give a fuck about something. And not just anything, but something that actually freaking matters!
Not giving a fuck doesn’t mean you are completely heartless. You have a heart but only for things of importance. You spend your fucks on worthwhile things and people. You care about the vitals and not the distractions.
One example is Larry from Telltale’s the Walking Dead game is a grumpy old man. Short-tempered and hostile, the man doesn’tgive a fuck about anything or anybody or so it seems.
But you look at what angers him because anger is at the heart of passion. He fires off about Lee being a murderer pre-apocalypse and to “watch his ass” around his daughter or the kid Duck.
Despite how heartless he comes across, that’s the one fuck he does give: protecting the innocent and those he cares for.
Now I’m not saying you should develop this type of anger-fueled persona, but I am saying that as “uncaring” as you can be towards most things, you can be caring towards those things that matter.
So too you must choose a fuck worth a damn.
The fuck you give should be something beyond the material. Fame, status, a good rep -- all of that is superficial.
When you decide what to give a fuck about, don’t pick anything arbitrary. Find a greater principle. Find something meaningful. When I say greater principle, I mean sort of like this higher calling, in a sense.
Justice, honesty, peace. Those are the type of greater principles we’re talking about, the shit worth giving a fuck about. Nothing like a large cash stack or a fleet of yachts is actually worth giving a fuck about (though a lot of people do). Enthusiasm for materialism leads to emptiness.
You could be the richest man in the world, yet feel unfulfilled. You give a fuck about an external thing to bring you internal happiness and that drives you into a perpetual loop of trying to obtain “more.” More is never enough.
A thing like being honest though - that’s something you can’t covet more of. Either you’re honest or you’re not. There’s no “being more honest”. That’s not a thing. You either bullshit or you tell the truth. There’s no such thing as a “half truth. There’s the truth and there’s a lie. It’s as simple as that.
When you give a fuck about a strong principle like that, or like justice or peace, it’s something you either have or you don’t, so you don’t throw yourself into a perpetual loop of never being or having enough. You just have “it” and don’t need any more, nor is there any “more” to obtain.
Also, giving a fuck about something outside of your control, like someone else’s approval, is flat out stupid. That means you’re letting someone else dictate how much your fucks are worth instead of setting your own price tag. You want to price them like diamonds. You don’t want someone else to price it at mud.
By choosing to give a fuck about something not in your direct control, you are essentially letting another person judge your worth. Know your worth and aim instead fto give a fuck about something you manage yourself.
It is in your direct control on whether or not to be honest. It is in your direct control on whether or not to be just or act peaceful. It is in your control or not whether or not to be LAZY. You get the gist. Basically, choose a fuck worth a damn!
One important aspect to consider when choosing what to give a fuck about is your reason behind giving it a fuck in the first place.
Spreading words of peace to win social media likes or “Telling it like it is” to win votes in an election has an ulterior motive. A “good fuck” has none of that shit. It’s straightforward and completely dead set on upholding a certain principle for the sake of the principle itself, not some arbitrary benefit.
While it may be worth a damn to give a fuck about social justice. If you’re doing it to gain some sort of notoriety, then your perspective is skewed, and once again, you’ll be left feeling unfulfilled. First, it’s completely outside of your control whether or not people appreciate your sort of social justice cause. Second, approval is again, a materialistic desire at best and not worth seeking after.
Look at the man who aims to be more attractive towards women. He learns how to act, what to say. Nothing wrong with learning social skills. I mean that’s actually the “right” thing to do, but you gotta look at the reason behind it.
On the outside he comes across as a suave confident guy, but on the inside? He’s a total wuss.
He gives a fuck (literally and figuratively) about female approval. His entire self worth is based on how often he’s getting laid or given attention by women.
Even though he acts like he doesn’t give a fuck about her, secretly, that’s all he cares about . Well, not her as a person, but her attention. He enjoys the way she strokes his Ego and ...something else..
Somehow his [Aloofness is attractive to her though]. Women find Aloof men very attractive. (Why won’t he pay attention to me when all these other guys won’t stop hitting on me?) It’s mysterious and grabs attention.
But as long as his goal (the fuck he gives) is to gain her approval, his Aloofness is nothing but a stage act. He’s putting on a show. See, he’s not focused on a real mission, a worthy fuck to give, that keeps him Aloof to her. He’s only pretending to be Aloof to pique her interest.
He should find something (to give a fuck to) that keeps him pre-occupied, not pretend to be preoccupied because the thing he actually gives a fuck about is winning her approval.
Don’t let shit bother you.
That would seem to be at the very core of the definition of “not giving a fuck”
But you know what? It’s okay to let shit bother you - the important shit. It’s okay to get riled up when there’s injustice. It’s okay to blow off some steam when someone tells you a straight up lie.
Getting bothered by important shit is not only acceptable, it’s actually encouraged. I mean after all, that means the thing you are giving a fuck about is a worthy principle.
I’m not saying you should actually scream and yell or blurt out a rant, but it is okay to feel that anger towards something. Let it ruffle your feathers. Let it fire you up.
Give a fuck about that thing that matters to you on a deep level because if you don’t give a fuck about anything else, people will know you’re fucking serious and not just bitchin’.
Take it easy,