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We all want what we all want.
Wait. What? Yeah. You want what you want. I want what I want. Donald Trump wants what Donald Trump wants. Jeff Bezos wants want Jeff Bezos wants. You get the gist. We all have our wants. How the fuck do some people seem to get away with actually getting what they want though?? You don’t always get what you want. That’s impossible, and you have to learn to accept that, even the most successful people who quote on quote “always” seem to get what they want, do get rejected sometimes, as we covered last week. But how do you actually increase the odds of your success? How do you get people to agree with you or “buy in” to your pitch (either for a date, an activity to do, or a sale) And how do you do that when you’re too freaking lazy to actually put in the effort? Well, today we’re going to cover the DOs of winning things in your favor, the lazy way. (Next week, we’ll dive into the DONTs) 1. DO Remain results focused. This is important to understand first and foremost because any amount of effort you do exert should be worth it. If you’re gonna get out of bed, you want things to happen and not climb out of bed for nothing. Make results happen with each conversation you have, or take your exit. Either you get it your way or you don’t. You set boundaries and spend “just enough” time, energy, and effort on trying to get what you want. Once you reached your “spending limit” you’re out. You either win the game or lose the game, but you don’t keep playing when it’s game over. 2. DO Know when to Walk Away This sort of goes hand in hand with the above point, but it really can’t be stressed enough: there’s no point in hanging on to what’s lost or clinging on to people that are just going to waste your time, money, and/or effort. You let people know when they crossed a boundary and if they don’t like it, you set up your negotiation terms, and if they don’t like it you’re willing to walk away because you don’t give a fuck. You’re not forcing to follow your way or control them, you’re letting them know “this is a line and you crossed it”. You give them the OPTION to cross that line but make it clear you will invest no further. They can do whatever they want, man, and it’s no big deal. You’re not upset by their choice. It’s not manipulative or “emotional blackmail”, it’s saying “Look, it’s your choice, but I’m letting you know where I personally stand. Do what you want and I’ll do what I want.” Maybe your friend wants to play Call of Duty but you’d rather play something else. You let him know that they’re free to do so and you’re gonna play some other game, if they refuse to give up CoD to play your game. Like playing poker, ya gotta know when to fold. 3. DO Use open body language. Lean back, keep your arms behind your head or at your sides, maintain eye contact, but look away (not down but to the side) once in a while to show aloofness. This communicates that you are comfortable in the current environment. Plus, it’s just natural body language of a procrastin8r to lean back and show s/he’s at ease. Embrace your laziness. Laziness is comfort. Be comfortable in the room, be comfortable in your own skin. The world is your bed, so act comfortable. Open body language shows you’re not hostile, threatening, or even just plain insecure. It also shows a level of confidence and helps the *other person* also feel comfortable. 4. DO Get them to agree to small things or do small favors, then escalate. You ain’t gotta jump right into the cold water, man. Ease yourself into the pool, take your time, nice and slow. But do escalate. Remember, remain results focused. Studies have shown that a person is MORE LIKELY to agree to the final sale when he or she is asked more simple questions that he or she can agree to, compared to people that were just asked the final sale question straight up. This strategy is often referred to as the “Foot in the Door” tactic. As the key to gaining entrance is to well, get your goddamn foot in the door so you can walk right the fuck in. Lead them in the right direction (with questions). Don’t just slap a sale in their face. Have them reach their own conclusion, which leads us to our next point... 5. DO more listening than talking. Let them sell the thing to themselves. The best way to hold a conversation is to simply ASK QUESTIONS and get *other people* talking. You ain’t gotta move your lips very much to hold a compelling conversation, which is awesome, especially when you’re shy and/or too lazy to talk. Rather than designing a whole elaborate sales pitch or over the top pick up line or whatever, just be genuinely curious about who they are. It’s the lazy conversationalist’s secret that asking questions is the key to building strong relationships (romantic, professional, or otherwise) Not only does this get them to open up and build rapport, but this also allows you to cater what you’re offering toward their own individual wants, needs, and fears. You can guide them into a direction, a series of questions, that gets *them* to decide that what you’re offering is the perfect solution for them, that they want to invest (time, money, effort) into you. You “plant seeds” into their mind and ask questions that give them “ah ha” moments and make *them* asking you *how do I get started? How much is it? Or can we go out?* 6. DO Assume the sale Assume you’ve already got what you wanted from them, like they’ve already made the purchase, like they’ve already done you the favor, like they’ve already gone on a date with you. This relieves any sort of social pressure and anxiety you may be feeling. Any fears of rejection dissipate and become (at least mostly) completely gone. You’re not worried IF they will say yes. In fact, you’re not even worried at all. You KNOW they already have said YES and are simply giving them a gentle reminder as to why they did. Instead of having the mindset that you’re trying to “prove” to them your worth or your product’s value, you’re approaching the situation with the mindset of “let me just REMIND them why I’m awesome” or “why this is awesome” and that leads us to roll on into the next point... 7. DO Be the prize. You are the prize. Most people try to win the sale, pick up a date, or ask for a favor with the belief that their “YES” is the ultimate prize, like the other person’s agreement has some sort of high value. They’re coming from a position of weakness. They become the bum on the street begging for change and let the other person become the aristocrat who simply walks by and says NO. Not much a beggar can do at that point. He has no power in that situation. Don’t paint yourself in that portrait. Put yourself in a strong position; put yourself in a position of power. Go in with the attitude of “well, if they say no, that’s their loss, really.” Go in knowing that if they don’t say yes, someone else will. No sense wasting your breath begging one person when you could be getting a YES from another. Don’t put someone else on a pedestal. Ever. Have some self goddamn respect. Don’t lie on the floor and give them the couch. That’s your couch, damnit. You belong there! 8. DO Take a “Let’s See What Happens” Approach Every single time you approach someone with the goal of getting something out of them, don’t sweat it. Instead of pressuring yourself to actually “win”, make it a goal to “see what happens” Say to yourself: “I suppose I’ll give them an opportunity (to go out on a date, buy this product, etc). Let’s see if they take it. If they do, great. If not, great. You’re fine either way. You couldn’t care any less what *their* decision is. It has no impact on you and your ability to abide and just rid ethe waves of life man. You’re in it to be entertained and just enjoy yourself, not force your desires on others. You’re focused on simply having a good time, not always getting things your way. Like playing an open world RPG, you do some terrible things and make the wrong decisions, but it’s still fun because you get to see what happens anyway. Life is a game. Don’t take it too seriously. No one gets out alive anyway. 9. DO Suggest, don't ask. Make declarative statements, not inquisitive ones. Of course you want to ask questions to enlighten conversation, but when it comes to *the actual sales pitch itself*, when it comes to the BIG Question -- the whole reason you approached them to begin with, you want to “You could…” “If you want… This gives them the impression that you are *telling* them what choice you’d prefer they make, but allows them to make the decision for themselves, while keeping you in a position of strength. You are leading them in a certain direction, rather than asking permission from their authority (that you give to them if you ask something *from* them.) As a general rule of thumb... If it’s a question coming from a place of curiosity (finding out who they are or what they think), you can ASK the question. If it’s a question where you’re asking for permission or approval, then make a statement instead. In general, don’t actually ASK for permission. It’s better to do first and apologize later than it is to ask permission and get rejected. 10. DO Know the difference between NO and Real Rejection Just because someone says NO, doesn’t mean they actually mean it. Of course, there is a certain NO that always means NO in a certain situation. And if you’re confused as to what I’m hinting at, then you seriously need to sit there and re-think your entire life. There is a doubtful “no” which implies “I’m not fully convinced yet” They’ll laugh or smile or hesitate with their words. Hesitation is key here. They may look away. That moment they hesitate, is the moment you take to continue the “sales progress”. Don’t go straight for the pitch again though, or even worse ask “why not?” That just comes across as needy and *any* chance of that NO converting to a YES disappears the moment that question is asked. In this case, go back to rapport building, escalate, and try again. If after the second or third time the answer is still know, go back to one of the first points: know when to walk away. Then there’s the hard firm NO, which is more clear cut. They’ll say it firmly and maintain eye contact. They’ll speak slowly and in a “serious” tone. In this case, don’t push any further, just accept it, leave and move on. No big deal, dude. 11. DO Know People make decisions based on their EMOTIONS (in general) Stats, figures, charts, graphs, and facts just don’t appeal to the average person when it comes to investing one of their resources (time, money, effort) I watched a video recently of a man who runs into a burning building to save his dog. The firemen didn’t want to rescue him because *statistically* the risks were just way too high. In an emotional moment, the man sees an opportunity (when they aren’t looking) to run in himself; he manages to come out with his poor little pup. Odds were against him, but he made that decision based on emotions. That was someone he cared about and was in danger. Most lottery winners end up spending ALL their money within a few years and going broke. Not the logical thing to do -- splurge all your money. The calm, rational approach would be to invest it smartly so you could retire for the rest of your look, instead of spending it on cocaine and hookers. But emotions get people to choose otherwise. Nowadays commercials have literally absolutely *nothing* to do with the product. I swear with all the barbecues and road trips and camping outdoors they show in these ads, I never know if they’re trying to sell me a car, a grill, or heck, a bottle of pills or a t-shirt. Advertisers no longer sell a product. They sell a lifestyle and emotions attached to that lifestyle. Point here is that humans are driven by emotions and you must appeal to them to get people “on board” with what you want. You can rationalize the emotions with logic and reasoning eventually, but you can’t get to the rationalizing phase without breaking through emotional walls first and building a connection or understanding.. 12. DO Answer the WIIFM People care about one thing, and one thing only, deep down inside.The WIIFM. What’s In It For Me? I mean, heck, that’s all you care about. That’s why you’re here reading this blog about how to get what you want. People are generally self-focused and want whatever benefits them personally. It’s the reason the rich want more tax breaks and the poor want more welfare. We all want the policies, the deal, we want whatever benefits us most *personally*. There’s a phrase used to describe a friendship wher ethe two people give each other sxual favors called “Friends with Benefits”. Well, every type of friendship has *some* sort of benefits, whether it’s sexual or not. The minute those benefits disappear, the friendship is over, I guarantee. Richard Dawkins has a whole book on this topic called “The Selfish Gene” and I highly suggest reading it. After asking questions and finding out *who they are* as a person you can more easily answer this question for them. It also helps, again, by seeing yourself and what you have to offer as the price. 13. DO Set a deadline (limited time opportunity). Create FOMO As much as we procrastin8rs hate deadlines and it may be hypocritical for me to even suggest this, deadlines are effective means in getting people to say YES. I’m only in town for a few days. I’m leaving soon. I’m only going to offer it at this price until the end of the week. You get the gist. The minute people feel a sense of “I better hurry and get this now before it’s too late”, that’s the minute they’ll sign up or be on board for your offer. Subtly create the fear that they’ll be missing out (FOMO). Use FOMO to your advantage and create scarcity. If you don’t create a “now or never” type of situation, they’ll probably *never* want to participate. “Eh, maybe later” they’ll say, and you know where that path leads. 14. DO Create talk triggers (for word of mouth marketing). Have social proof Give them an experience, product, or at the very least conversation that is memorable. Why? Because people talk. When you give someone a lasting impression, they’re going to talk -- they’re gonna tell their friends, their family, their close to, maybe even strangers on the bus, about how *amazing* you are (or your product or service is). Word of Mouth marketing is the best marketing and it costs very little to do. The marketing does itself if you create a unique enough product/service. No time or financial investment on your part, other than doing what you’d be doing normally to run your business, or live your life, for that matter. “Talk Triggers” Daniel Lamin & Jay Bear is an awesome book that dives deeper into this topic, if you wanted to learn more. Word of Mouth Marketing works in your personal life too. My dad always told me the one thing you have in life is your integrity. That’s all you have. 15. DO Be Honest. Your integrity *is* really all you have. Doesn't matter how much money you make or how many friends you have. Once you lose your integrity, you basically own nothing. People value honesty and are willing to forgive mistakes as long as you take accountability. They would also rather hear your intentions up front then have you dance around and put on a show first. For example, if you don’t want a serious relationship and only want some fun, then say it. Be upfront about it. Own it. Don’t try to be like “yeah I want to find someone” when you really don’t. That’ll just cause more problems in the long run than it’s worth in the short. Sure, you might get turned down right away, but it’ll save you so many headaches in the future. In general, don’t tell a person “what they want to hear.” Certainly you want to answer the WIIFM, but you don’t want to make up stuff just to fill in the gap. Never make false promises, whether that’s in your personal life or business. It’ll come to haunt you later down the road. Besides, lying takes too much energy to remember everything you said. 16. DO Give a reason for your request If you’re telling someone to do you a favor, give them a simple reason, using the word “because…” It doesn’t have to be a complex reason As a matter of fact, studies have shown that long-winded explanations actually are *less effective* at gaining compliance compared to short, brief ones That’s good, cause like you, I don’t like to talk my mouth off and be told no anyway. People are more likely to agree if they are given a short but reasonable reason. Just be like “hey, I’m doing this because [blank - short simple reason” or “I need you to do this right away because..” 17. DO Provide the “illusion of choice” Live your life in such a way that you’re not dependent on the choices that others make. You make decisions and lead the way. You pick a couple things you want to do, say you want to go see that new Marvel movie or hang out at Barcade and play some old school video games while drinking rum n’ coke. Either way is cool. You say hey “we can go see that new marvel movie or hit up Barcade, if you want” Again add the line “if you want” because the last option for the other person is always to just not go do what you want. And if they tell you “No, I’d rather do neither of those things and would rather…” just be cool about it and don’t argue. Tell them “that’s great, you’re welcome to do that. Have fun, but I’m not gonna come. I really wanted to go see this movie:” Likewise, when selling a product or service, provide multiple choices to your customers/clients. No more than three though because then they might be overwhelmed (I mean unless you’re like an ice cream shop or something) McDonald’s really only sells one type of burger. Throw it in a bag with a toy and it’s a Happy Meal. Put some mayonnaise and ketchup on it with a bit of lettuce and a sesame seed bun and it’s a Big Mac. Put two patties on the bun and it’s a McDouble. There’s really only ONE burger, but you have the Illusion of Choice there. Plus there are like half a dozen companies that own all the other companies in the world. You think you have choice of different brands? That's an illusion. Apply the same logic to your own business. How can you sell the same product but in different packages? 18. DO Always counteroffer If you’re negotiating a deal and the other person accepts, don’t just let it settle like that. Always try to upsell. You put a price on the product. You set the terms. Not the other way around. You should always ask for *more* than you actually want at first, then dwindle it down a bit. But again, set boundaries and don’t go too low. Don’t pull a Barrack Obama and go to the table *with the negotiation*. “Obamacare” is really a Republican proposal and more accurately entitled” Mitt Romney care” because he (and his team) were the ones that essentially wrote the principles of the Affordable Heathcare act. And now the Republicans are pushing for something more right leaning, with less government involvement and more “free market” But I digress. Point is, aim high (remain reasonable though) and adjust accordingly. Get the most out of the deal and don’t just settle for what people give you at first. 19. DO have closure. Get a lead/contact info at least or walk away At the end of the conversation, you should have a YES or NO answer. Either get rejected or accepted. No maybes. No “Oh I don’t knows” If you can’t get a straight answer, or they seem to keep making excuses about evne meeting up with you in the first place, politely but firmly tell them “the ball’s in your court.” You basically tell them “the opportunity here, either take it or leave it, but I’m not chasing after you.” That’s too much effort besides. 20. DO Remember, “He who cares least is in control” Whoever is more emotionally attached to the outcome (of the relationship, of the sale) is NOT in control, they are driven by emotions. By the very definition of “being emotional”, you are *out* of control. You must drive your sales and relationships with logic, reasoning, and purpose, instead of emotional attachment. That doesn’t mean you’re completely robotic and void of any personality. That doesn’t mean you can’t show compassion or affection. It just means you don’t let your emotions cloud your judgement process and make decisions *for* you. It means you want this to work out, but don’t need it. You have desire, not reliance and there’s a hard difference. You are in control of your actions and decisions, slow and deliberate like the sloth as your spiritual guide. Remain level headed, cool and calm. The more you surrender to your emotions, the more you *care*,the more you surrender control to the person who controls their emotions and doesn’t care. 21. DO Take It Easy Relax, man. You’ll get things you want, even if it’s not right away or form the people you originally intended to get them from. - N8 P.S. New blog every Wednesday! Subscribe to the newsletter so you don’t miss an article.
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Whether you're going out to meet new friends, find a date, reach out to new potential sponsors for your blog/website, book a guest for your podcast, blog, or Livestream, or make a sale pitch to a client for your product or service, when it comes to earning things in your favor...
Rejection is unavoidable. You can't win them all. Fact. Rejection is just a part of life and it's no big deal, man, really. As a lazy procrastin8r, you have the natural ability to stay calm and keep moving forward, slowly and surely whenever you face rejection. And trust me, you are*going to face rejection and you’re going to face rejection a lot. Look, there are ways to increase your chances of success and earning the big prize of three letters ("YES") But no matter how suave and charming you are, no matter how good of a salesperson you become, no matter how strong your persuasive skills may be, you're always going to face rejection at some point. If there’s one guarantee about life, it’s that you’re going to be rejected. But don’t let that daunt you Even the best of the best, the brightest of the brightest, the most alluring and charismatic of people still hear the word NO at least once in a while. Whatever level you’re at, shit happens. Dr. Seuss was rejected by 27 publishers. Walt Disney was fired from the Kansas City Star because his editor said he quote "lacked imagination". Elvis was told by the concert hall manager at the Grand Ole Opry he was better off going back to Memphis and driving trucks. The list goes on and on. Rejection happens. Quit your whining. Stop your worry wart tendencies. And...Get over it Look, it's not about how to avoid rejection entirely so much as it is about how you handle it. Today, we’re going to dig into how you can use your lazy brain to take rejection with ease and grace. Certainly you can hone your social skills and increase your success rate of getting people to "buy in" to your pitch, whether that's a product, service, or even a date. However, you can NEVER reach a full 100%success rate. Ever. Know this going in and it'll be easier to learn from mistakes as well as triumphs. Know that even the best, those better at you at this, are still getting hit with rejection on a consistent basis. The ability to successfully make a sale means absolutely diddly squat. It means NOTHING. Unless you have the strength and Aloof attitude to not give a fuck, when and if rejection happens... and it will happen. Over, and over, and over again. With proper rejection handling under your tool belt, you won't be emotionally bogged down by the rejection, no matter how bad it is, and will simply take it at face value, in stride. You will "take it with a grain of salt" as they say and tell yourself "fuck it" and move on. Lowering the chances of rejection is no doubt useful. There are certain psychological tricks you can learn to get what you want out of people (time, money, etc). More importantly though than all that gimmicky bullshit is the ability to handle a rejection in the first place and not let it hold you back or stifle you during your journey of leveling up your social skills. Don't wallow in your misery. If you can’t handle rejection in the beginning stages of mastering social skills, then you can’t expect to be able to handle it later down the line. If you’re playing guitar, you gotta learn to strum before you play chords on the fret. Practical and effective rejection handling is the absolute key and foundation to every step along the way in your social skills evolution. You can’t really get anywhere if every time you get rejected, your progress becomes stagnate. You should be moving ever forwards, slowly but surely. Handling rejection smoothly and embracing the Lazy Mindset goes hand and hand. With the Lazy Mindset, whenever you mess up or don't get it exactly right or hear the dirty two letter word "NO", you'll be able to bounce right back, without skipping a beat. You'll remain cool, composed, and unfazed by any sort of rejection. This will allow you to level up your charisma much faster than attempting to go right in with practicing new communication skills -- pickup and sales tactics -- because it'll allow you to focus your energy on improvement rather than emotional coping (with the pain of rejection) Your goal, as a ProcrastiN8r, is to minimize effort and maximize results, the gravitational center of laziness. Any energy exerted should not be wasted. If you're gonna get out of bed, then it better be worth it. Likewise, if you're gonna "make your pitch" then it better be worth it. Worrying about rejection before it even happens or very well harping on it after the fact is nothing but a waste of time, mental and emotional energy. Those are not resources you want to spend when you are lazy. The amount of rejections you receive will never hit the Zero mark and that's okay. How do you handle rejection? It all comes down to mindset. We'll touch on some outward displays of handling Rejection with poise, like body language, but to be honest, those things will come naturally when your inner frame is in the right place, so let's first dive into mindset. First of all, let’s get something out of the way…. Rejection Hurts I ain’t gonna sugar coat things and pretend like it doesn’t or promise you that you won’t feel any physical aches, emotional distress, or mental discomfort from rejection. It’s painful to be rejected. No doubt about that. And frankly no matter how many times you are rejected, it still freaking hurts. But again, it’s how you deal with that pain that matters, not necessarily avoiding it entirely. No pain, no gain, I suppose. Feeling pain from rejection is just part of the human experience and that’s something you’ll learn to accept. Let’s take a look at where this pain is coming from... In the hunting and gathering times of our ancestors, you needed social approval for survival. Literal survival. Being rejected, or outcasted, meant certain death. You couldn’t hunt and gather alone; you needed a tribe to protect you from beast and man alike. We learned to fear rejection over centuries of evolution, because well, we didn’t want to die. Thus, our brains have become literally hard wired to associate rejection with death. Unfortunately, in modern society, where you don’t actually need a tribe to protect you, you don’t need to be approved socially in order to survive and be a functioning member of society, that instinct is still there, even though it’s kind of outdated hardware. Look...You ain’t gonna die from rejection. Your instincts pull at you and try to convince your rational mind otherwise. But you’re really not. You’ll be okay. You still feel that pain and anyone that says they don’t feel it is either lying or a psychopath. But recognize it for what it is and know you ain’t gonna die. Your brain is just firing off “danger” signals to try and keep you alive. But in reality, you’re not in any sort of threatening situation by attempting to make a sale or any sort of proposal and getting turned down. Since you know death is not a consequence of rejection, it makes it easier to accept the pain and recognize it for what it is, from a calm, rational standpoint. Your emotion of fear or anxiety will be there no matter what and you can’t control your emotions. You can, however, control how you react to them. React with a “meh” attitude and don’t care, don’t get caught up in the emotions or act on them. That’s too much work and too much drama. Be lazy. Take the path of least resistance, the easy way out. What’s the lazy path in terms of handling rejection? Simple. Not giving a single fuck about it. Indeed, You may not be able to control your emotions. But you do get to decide if you want to let them take charge of you or if you take charge of them. Get in the habit of saying “fuck it” when your emotions try to stop you from approaching someone in the first place or prevent you from trying again or make you wanna scream or shout. You can train your mind how it reacts to certain emotions and re-program the fight, flight, or freeze instincts. You can train your brain to not give a fuck. Your brain is sort of like a machine and you’re the lazy pilot of this giant fleshy mech. Your brain takes stimuli, releases certain chemicals based on that stimuli, and then you, as the one driving the thing, you have the control and authority to purposefully choose what to do at that point. The brain is pretty cool and the more you do things consciously, on full manual mode, the more often you purposefully choose your actions in response to certain stimuli (in this case, choosing to calmly walk away in response to bad emotions from rejection), the more likely your brain is to resort to that action on “auto pilot”. You program your brain’s auto pilot by driving full manual. Whatever you choose most often becomes “natural” and your default way of dealing with the emotion. So if you did the opposite of what I’m suggesting and decided to actually CRY when you’re rejected, you would feel strong impulses to want to cry every single time you feel the pain of rejection. However, if you choose to smile, nod, and walk away upon getting hit with rejection, without any sort of tearful outburst, you would feel strong impulses to do that instead. You can always choose to go either way, but the one you choose to do consciously more often is the one that you’ll do when you’re “not thinking about it.” It’s the same emotion you feel either way, just different “impulses”, different “auto pilot” programs. In other words, you train your brain what to do with emotions. The lazy method of handling rejection is to nod, smile and say something along the lines of: “Okay, well thank you for your time” Likewise, overcoming the fear of rejection in the first place, the lazy way, comes down to just walking up, carefree and saying “Hey” Do that often enough that it becomes your “default setting” and you can start to do that without even consciously putting in the mental effort to do so. You’ll still feel the pain. That is hardwired. But the software, how you react to it, is flexible and can be re-coded to something more effective than crying or screaming. Train your brain to Take It Easy during highly emotional times. Lessening the Pain. Maybe the pain is too much and you just can’t even. No matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to not take the rejection to heart. Here’s the thing, you’re trying to hard. You’re thinking too much. Lazy people don’t overthink. It’s too much work. Remember that. Relax, man. It may help to know that every single human being experiences the same sort of emotional dilemma, the same pain, as you. You’re not alone. You’re not the only person in the world to ever have been rejected and you certainly won’t be the last. Take a look at the bigger picture here and don’t get so caught up in your own head. Also, don’t get your hopes up too much. Not in a depressive sort of way but in a rational relaxed one. Look, being shot down when you have your hopes are up to the skies is more painful than just a plain rejection straight up. You can at the very least lessen*the pain by going in with a “fuck it, let’s see what happens” sort of attitude, rather than a hopeful one. Just because you’re not hopeful doesn’t mean you’re necessarily doubtful, to be clear. It is better to be pleasantly surprised than severely disappointed. You could also try to Assume the Sale. Assume the person wants what you’re offering. You’re reminding them why the already bought it or why they already chose to go out with you. This takes the pressure off. It’s done, dude. You got it already. You don’t need to convince them of anything. They already bought in. There’s no rejection to fear. Quite a mind fuck but it may help with confidence and ease your worries in the long run And if for whatever reason, they choose to “back out” (reject) your offer, then you have to say to yourself “aw well, their loss”. You have to go into the conversation (or sales pitch) with the attitude that if they do in fact still say NO and reject your offer or proposal that they are the one that is missing out, not you. They have more to lose than you do by turning you down. You have put yourself in a winning position Lean back and relax Finally, a point we’ll touch on briefly is using effective body language to increase the strength of your Lazy mindset. Use open body language. Don’t cross your arms, instead put them behind your head or at your hips. Lean back, keep your legs apart, not tightly together. Make slow, deliberate movements, not jittery quick ones. Don’t display any signs of nervousness. Speak firmly and don’t rush to finish sentences or fill in gaps of silence. Wait, listen. Pause once in a while. Maintain strong eye contact but don’t stare too long. Look away once in a while -- away and not down. Don’t ever look down, not at the floor, not at your phone -- that just shows insecurity.. Look to the side and show a bit of aloofness. Overall, make your body relaxed and at ease. Your mind will follow your body. Now go out there and get REJECTED! Getting rejected is no big deal. It really isn’t. Again, you’re absolutely NOT going to die because of it and it’s pretty much an...inevitable. You can train your brain to Take It Easy whenever you are rejected. The best way to learn how to handle rejection is to just go get rejected. Don't focus on closing the deal. Focus on being able to cope if the deal isn't closed. If you don’t want to put yourself in quote on quote “risky” social situations, if you don’t want to expose yourself to the possibility of getting rejected, and would rather stay at home all day, it’s not that you are being lazy, it’s that you are being fearful. True laziness is not giving a fuck. True laziness is getting better, slowly, at your own pace. Take a few steps to learn how to handle rejection. As a matter of fact, go say something you know won’t work and you know will get you rejected. Shoe 'em your worst. Give your worst pick up line. Give your worst sales pitch. Give your absolute worst. Make it your goal to actually fail and get rejected, instead of actually try to win the thing. Once you do that, you’ll see, it’s not that bad and you really had nothing to fear to begin with. Learn from your mistakes and move forward. Never take rejection to heart. Take it easy, - N8 P.S. In a later blog, we’ll cover more specific tactics in closing the deal , getting things to go in your favor, and lowering your chances of rejection,including more phrases you can say and body language you can use. But given the fact that rejection can and will happen no matter what, at whatever level you’re at, and you will never have a 0% rejection rate, it’s best to get a strong hold on the handling of rejection itself before tackling how to sway things towards your favor. Subscribe to the newsletter so you don’t miss any future posts, including that upcoming article mentioned. It’s been over a year since I’ve been making content about How to Be Lazy and Get Away With It.
HOORAY! I encourage people like you to embrace their laziness in order to minimize effort and maximize results, in order to do what they want, get what they want and do little to no work to attain it. Everything is so fast-paced and hardwork driven. We need to chill a bit and take it easy. The world needs more procrastinators. The truth is though... Not everyone can just sit on their ass, not everyone can be lazy. Truth hurts. I mean I’d like a world where we can all just lay on back in the sun and sip our rum n’coke as the ocean waves crash on the shores, but that’s just not reality. As a matter of fact, the reality is that hard work is necessary for any good well-functioning society, not by you, mind you, but at the end of the day... Someone or something, somewhere has to do some work. Sucks to suck. Stick with me though because if you’re reading my blog right here, that doesn’t have to be you. You’ve made the decision to embrace your laziness and use it as your super power. You can lead others to do the work for you. You ain’t gotta do shit. Keep in mind though, the power of laziness is like fire. It can be used to craft or to burn. You choose what to do with it. It is my hope that the people who embrace their laziness are good people, with good intentions and choose to take the more constructive path, rather than the destructive one with it. Just like any super power, with laziness, you can be either a hero or villain, depending on how you use it. Right now, the rich billionaires use their laziness for corrupt purposes. Evil Lazy Geniuses - that’s what they are. They’re out there sitting on their yachts while the workers for their company are schlepping 12+ hour shifts in sweat shops where they take a piss n trash cans and can barely afford food on the table. True story. Certainly it’s a lazy principle to get others to do work for you, but it is totally “un-dude”, it’s not the procrastin8r way, it’s the Dark Side of the Bed to not assure those people working for you can embrace at least some of their own laziness. You want workers, not slaves. I want good people to be lazy, Lazy Jedis, if you will, and make it to the top, instead of these repugnant, greedy, life suckers. Look... Being Lazy is one thing. Being greedy is another -- at least that person works hard for their keep and well, actually, ya know, earned it But being BOTH Lazy and Greedy is a dangerous combo. It means you get other people to do the work for you AND keep all (or at least most of) the rewards for yourself. Not cool, dude. The rewards should be more fairly distributed. I use the word fairly here, because they shouldn’t be “equal”. The person at the top, he (or she) is the big cheese and deserves a bigger chunk than the blue collar factory workers. Communism is bullshit. However, at the same time, the low factory workers or entry level dudes and dudettes deserve to be able to pay bills without worry. It’s not about “equality” as in let’s make all the wages the same, no matter what the job is. It’s not about “raising the minimum wage” so that now “a waitress gets paid as much as a pilot.” I hear these arguments and either the person is just not listening or...they’re just not listening. It’s about wealth redistribution. Meaning wealth is redistributed from the top down -- most of the wages will go up, except for the elite few who are hoarding too much of it, which is like ten people. There are literally less than a dozen people that own half of the entire vault of wealth. There’s nothing balanced about that in a strong economic system. Oh but how dare you feel ENTITLED to their wealth that they earned! Somehow people will speak about “entitlement” as if it is the most unimaginable and terrible thing someone can commit. First of all, no one feels entitled to wealth. They just want to be able to eat. Second of all, this entitlement or laziness or whatever you want to call it is no less repulsive than greed. That’s still one of the seven deadly sins, remember? It’s in that ole Bible you supposedly live your life by. Second of all, there's only a limited amount of resources. The poor keep getting poorer and the rich, richer. What's gonna happen when they own it all. I'll tell you what, no one will be able to buy shit. Anyhoot... Companies should profit and have incentive to compete and perform well. But look: there’s a difference between making a profit and being just straight up greedy. Somehow, there are certain people that believe greed is just not a thing. Like there’s no limit to how much wealth you can accumulate. “Well, he earned it. Ya gotta just pull yourself up by the boot straps” C'mon dude. Keeping a higher income than the combined income of all your other employees. Greedy. Paying zero taxes so you’re not even contributing back to society. Greedy. Failing to pay livable wages to workers and forcing them (leaving no choice but) to live on welfare. Greedy. The Welfare that the middle class taxes pay for. Hmm, it’s almost like the welfare tax wouldn’t be necessary if people were paid an actual, ya know LIVEABLE WAGE. On top of that, the middle class pay for the tax cuts of the wealthy who are already causing the middle class to pay for the welfare of the workers who the wealthy refuse to pair fairly. Fucking fuckity fuck! The layers of greed there. But what do I know? I’m no economics expert or tax accountant. I’m just a lazy dude, right? Now to be fair there is a difference between wanting enough financial support to actually live instead of struggle to survive and leeching off the system -- actually enacting on entitlement, being extremely lazy. Both of these things are wrong on extreme levels, but I think greed is more damaging. Like goddamn, people could make an extra $10k+ a year if the billionaires decided to have I don’t know? Maybe one less fancy painting, but it’s the guy buying Doritos and Mountain Dew with Food Stamps that’s the real transgressor. Jesus Christ. And speaking of which... And if you’re still sittin’ there like “Grrr, boot straps. Forced benevolence. Entitled Millennials. GRRRR!” I got one question for you: WWJD? Jesus was chill af. YHe was dude af. He was "libtard" af. You think he’d tell the kid starving on the streets to “pull ye’r boot straps up” instead of telling the billionaire “yo dude, give some of that money to the poor” What I’m getting at here is that the goal, if you are following any sort of moral code standard is to not only minimize your own efforts and maximize your results (profit, etc.), but to also minimize the amount of suffering you cause to others in your laziness. On the ProcrastiN8r Podcast Lvl 12, Robin Singh mentions how after establishing his empire at E-junkie, the e-commerce website he started, and then retiring, he went off to start Peepal Farm, where he sits out and nature and raises animals, grows crops, a thing he enjoys. (Remember, laziness in in purest form is doing what you want to do, not necessarily doing nothing or being unproductive.) He talks about how, even as a vegan, there was someone who had to pick the fruits, veggies, and rice for measly wages. He was causing someone to suffer and do work. I mean we all know basically any amount of work is suffering, but especially in the heat for literally half a day or longer -- that’s intolerable. He said he wants to “Lower consumption not to lower materialism but to lower suffering” so he created a lifestyle that allows him to live off the land. He wanted to be lazy and just “sit there in nature” and, at the same time, didn’t want his existence to have a negative impact on others. Now his solution is to go total survivor mode and collect food from scratch, which if you like animals and farming, or playing Runescape IRL, then it’s the perfect schtick. But I imagine most people, especially procrastin8rs, wouldn’t find that to be so easy or even enjoyable. There’s an easier solution, or at the very least, more versatile one and it’s this: give workers livable wages and reasonable working hours. This open the doors to businesses and workers beyond farmers to be able to minimize the suffering of others across many different industries. If each worker is compensated fairly, then there is no suffering. Look, you’re a lazy dude, you know how much works sucks. You wouldn’t wanna over work for measly wages yourself. So don’t make other people do that. There are going to have to be workers though. Lights need to be turned on, roads need to be maintenanced, food needs to be gathered, clothes need to be stitched. If everyone was lazy, then none of those things would get done. Modern society relies on workers, at least on some level. But future society doesn't, which we’ll get to in a second here. Every single goal you make, work must be done, even if you don’t necessarily do the work yourself, is going to have to be done by someone or perhaps something. Not everyone can avoid work. Steve Jobs didn’t work on inventing the iPhone.He just came up with the basic idea. Greg Chrstie had to engineer it (and even then, Christie *led a team* of people who guess what? Did the hard work.) The laziest of people are at the top. Not everyone can be there. There needs to be actual work done at some point down the line. These lessons I teach you about laziness simply cannot be given to everyone. It is my hope that you use it for good, that you choose to embrace laziness and bring about a positive change, not continue to use laziness for greedy purposes as the top one percent have been doing for decades. We need chill af ProcrastiN8rs to lead society in the right direction. Eventually, and probably sooner rather than later, we are going to develop the technology to automate everything we do. That’s awesome. That means no more work, right? Certainly, we already have robots replacing janitors, factory workers, cashiers, and truck drivers. Ya know, the blue collar jobs. But even jobs like doctors will soon be replaced with AI, with systems that can identify patient symptoms and family history and give a more accurate diagnosis than their human counterparts. AI doesn’t need to be perfect. It just needs to be better than humans. And so far the average AI is better than the top humans on the planet (the strongest, the smartest, the fastest) in every single way. The technology is already there, it’s just a matter of tweaking and upgrading it at this point. Essentially, we’re going to eventually make it so that everyone can in fact be lazy and have things run by machines We could all live a life of riches and laziness. Unfortunately...greed is going to prevent us from doing that. Greed and laziness is a killer combo man, in a bad way, a very bad way. The problem is the wealthy bastards who own nearly everything don’t want to share. We’re going to create a situation where they elite few own all the resources and there are no jobs for the poor (because they’re replaced with AI) In other words, there will be NO means for the poor to support themselves or earn a living. There’s no bootstraps to pull up when robots are pouring the rich their wine and captaining their yacht. We’ll create a society where work is not necessary by humans -- both a blessing and a curse. Certainly, there will be IT jobs to develop and fix/maintenance this tech for a while, but once the AI can innovate itself, it’s game over. There will be NO NEED for human input (read: no jobs to earn money) and the wealthy will keep the resources for themselves. Complete with security drones and soldiers to protect said resources. As dystopian as that may sound, it is a possibility we can’t ignore. As the late great Stephen hawking said: “Everyone can enjoy a life of luxurious leisure if the machine-produced [robots] wealth is shared, or most people can end up miserably poor if the machine-owners successfully lobby against wealth redistribution. So far, the trend seems to be toward the second option, with technology driving ever-increasing inequality.” The only way we can prevent this sort of dystopian future is if good people who are lazy, who want “just enough” to be happy and not live in excess, We need more lazy people who aren’t also greedy. Know that you can be one of the few, the lazy, the procrastinators that helps set us in the right path. Look at the bigger picture here and see how your own laziness fits into play. Let's build a Lazy Island Utopia together as ProcrastiN8rs. Take it easy, N8 You say you want to be your own boss, but are too lazy to do all the entrepreneurial work to start your own business.
Well, here’s a little secret for ya... Laziness is, contrary to popular belief, an important attribute to have for success. I mean think about it, it isn’t exactly the hardworking coal miners who are the top one percent. No, it’s people telling other people what to do. I mean c’mon, Steve Jobs didn’t invent the iPhone. Laziness is not only important to success, but perhaps even necessary once you reach a certain level of height in your success. I mean look, hard work can only get you so far. You could be the hardest working person in the whole world, dedicating every single waking hour to getting work done, not wasting a second. Ultimate focus. But your business isn’t ever going to grow beyond what you yourself are capable of, if you rely solely on hard work alone. Not only are you likely to hit burn out if you relentlessly work hours upon hours, day in and day out, but even if let’s say you enjoy it. Let’s say you get a “kick” from working hard. It pumps you up. You feel energized by getting a task done and it inspires you to quickly move on to the next one. You may even call yourself a “work-a-holic” (there's a cure for that) (I imagine most of my audience here do not identify as such, but stick with me it’s just a thought experiment and you may want to share with any skeptics and it’ll help drive the point home that hard work is over valued. ) So even if you are somehow bizarrely wired to find hard work not only anything less than suffering but actually...enjoyable, you still, *still* will be stuck at a certain point. You’ll be trapped. If you want to grow, there comes a point where you have to delegate. You have to be a bit lazy and guess what? Get other people to do the work for you. You can’t do it all yourself. Well I mean you can, but it will be far less effective than being at least somewhat lazy and saying “okay, I’m not going to do this, but I can get [insert person’s name here] to do it for me” If you ever want to expand your business beyond you own abilities, knowledge, time, and even own work ethic, if you ever want to make it BIG, you have to embrace your laziness. There’s a limited amount of resources each person has Now, like I said, that’s assuming you want to work hard, luckily for you, as a lazy person, it’ll be a lot easier to delegate the workload to others and lay on back, when you reach that point. The downside is….you have to reach that point. You can’t be reckless lazy. You have to be smart and lazy. Doing NO work at all with ZERO cost and ZERO effort and making a living is impossible. There’s always something that must be invested, whether it’s your time or your money. The goal with laziness though is to minimize effort and maximize results, it’s the ability to invest very little and yield BIG results, not necessarily produce something out of nothing. I never have and never will promise those things. Anyone that does is a scammer. Look, straight up, there’s no such thing as getting paid to do “nothing”. You do have to do *some* work to get the ball rolling, (even if it's as simple as plugging your phone in and downloading an app) but once it’s rolling down the cliff, gravity does all the work for you. You can sit on back and let it go. Laziness is about taking the easy way out, not necessarily taking out completely. You have to do “Just Enough” to get by, “Just enough” to set the business on the right path before you lay on back and go smooths sailing. The best way to do this is to create a vision. Create a vision that is simple, yet effective. It should be something people can relate to and give them a sense of purpose “for the greater good.” Religion does this and people have literally sacrificed their lives to show their commitment to their faith, the “vision” created by a church. That’s a bit extreme, but just goes to show the power in creating a vision and what people are willing to do for you. Having a strong vision can help inspire loyalty from others. Plus, it’s really easy to do. You just use your imagination. You don’t need to do any research or pull up any facts or figures. You create a fantasy. It’s fiction. Granted, it shouldn’t be a complete fairytale and should have some realm of truth to it. It should have a bit of verisimilitude, believably. Just tap into a deep hope or desire. But look, I wouldn't worry too much about being over fairytalish. if people can believe they will enter the gates of paradise if they follow the rules of the big sky daddy, I’m pretty sure the criteria of what constitutes a “fantasy” are frankly quite loose. People will believe nearly anything as long as it gives them a sense of PURPOSE. Provide a strong sense purpose for others and you’ll never have to work a single day in your life I hope you choose to create a positive vision, a positive purpose, and set a productive path to obtain that vision. See if you don’t create your own vision, someone else will create a vision for you and you will be working to serve the purposes of their vision, not your own. Your purpose will be determined by someone else. You will not be in control of your own destiny. And you will have to actually work hard. Ugh. Take the lazy path instead and create your own vision, rather than working tirelessly for someone else’s. Once you have a vision, you can use it as a backbone behind every decision you make and every task you assign. You don’t just dictate orders, but you let a person know how it fits into the bigger picture of said vision. The easiest way to run a business is to think big picture (vision) and not get bogged down with the finer details. That’s why you hire experts for that sort of thing. You don’t really work as a business owner, or very well shouldn’t You instead distribute the workload to whoever its most well suited for the specific job (or specific task). It’s like building an RPG party, like okay the Cleric is gonna be the healer, the Warrior will be the tank, and the Rogue the DPS. You basically utilize each person’s strengths and weaknesses to fill in a role that compliments his/her strengths and offsets or eliminates his/her weaknesses. You’re not headed into battle yourself. You’re just strategically choosing who will. Trust is an important factor in business management (or really any sort of leadership role for that matter). It’s less about making demands for your employees and more about trusting that it will get done. Lay on back and relax, dude. They got this. It’s why you hired them in the first place.. No one likes being micro managed, and micro managing is just extra work *for you* as the business owner anyway. This is why finding the right people, people you can trust to get things done, is one of the most important steps in starting a business. A lazy entrepreneur always continues to grow his/her business because s/he’s looking for ways to “get someone or something else to do it”. S/he is focused on producing the best results possible and finds the best people for the job (that s/he trusts). as well as the best technology to make the jobs as easy as possible. S/he is NOT focused on getting all the work down by him/herself. That’s just a waste of time and not worth all the effort. You can be lazy and successful or hardworking and a failure. The more you can streamline your business with the right people and/or the right technology, the faster it will grow. It’s not a matter of hard work at all. It’s a matter of streamlining and making it easy. A lazy entrepreneur/business owner has one job and one job only and it’s to ask: How can I take this to the next level? S/he then makes decisions in delegating tasks as seen fit to level up, keeping in mind the overall vision along the way. A hard working entrepreneur, on the other hand is constantly trying to keep themselves busy with more work. Look, there’s a difference between being a business owner and creating your own job. You ideally want to own a business that generates profits for you, not replace a 9 to 5 job with another 9 to 5 job that you just so happen sign both the front and back of your pay check. If you’re going to be your own boss, don’t be the boss you hate that makes you work endless hours. Be the boss you love who let’s you work as much (or as little) as you want. Do you own the business or does the business own you? Who’s in control? The procrastin8r is always of control of every aspect of his/her life and that’s what you should aim for. Decide how much an hour of your time is worth. What is it $50 an hour? $100? Whatever that number is, keep in mind that whenever you work on something for your business, you are basically paying an employee (you) that amount to complete the task. Put bluntly: Would you pay a person $100/hr to scrub toilets? No? Then don’t do it yourself. Would you pay someone $100/hr to answer phones or check e-mail? Again, probably not. So outsource it to someone else. You get the gist. Remember, your time is as valuable as you make it. As a procrastin8r, time is your most important asset. Eliminate work for yourself that isn’t directly expanding your business or inspiring your vision to your employees. Delegate work . Let them see the bigger picture. That's it. In the beginning, you’ll have to do a bit of work on your own, but that’s simply because it is necessary for the business’ expansion. You’ll get there eventually and be able to let others do the work for you. It’s a matter of getting the ball rolling and there’s no reason to push it all the way down the hill yourself. Gravity is one hell of a force. And so is laziness. Take it easy, N8 P.S. Speaking of being your own boss, we're gonna have Sam Priestley, the Lazy Entrepreneur himself come in for a conversation on the ProcrastiN8r Podcast about starting your own business, the lazy way, during our next interview (as of writing), in episode 60. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss it! |
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