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By now you have probably heard of the poor people who were killed in Jacksonville, Florida during a shooting at a Madden Tournament
My condolences and positive vibes go out to the victims and their families. This is very sad and quite frankly, my heart is heavy writing this. Unfortunately, it is also a bit of a disgrace to the gaming community as a whole. Gamers are usually the most chill, laid back, lazy people and this is NOT representative of their behavior. Not at all. Seeing a gamer erupt in violence and harm others is NOT something common or accepted within the community. While we may call each other names and blow up zombies, demons or soldiers in virtual worlds, it is frowned upon in the gaming community to actually physically hurt other people. Sure, you can login online in your Playstation network or XBox Live, and will be almost guaranteed to hear sexual threats towards your mother and insults towards your competence and intelligence. However, those scornful words are typically just a vent of frustration toward the events within the game itself and not a personal attack. Don’t take them personally. The person in the game chat does not literally want to f*ck your mother or rape your dog or place your face on a frying pan. They’re just letting their emotion out in a healthy, contained environment that doesn’t actually harm others. I’ve talked about the importance of being in control of your emotions, as a procrastinator, comparing it to holding you bladder. It’s immature to just piss yourself when you need to urinate; you’ve got to hold it in until you can use the bathroom. But that’s the thing: you have to use the bathroom eventually. There was a lady that literally died from holding in her pee, in order to win a Wii once, or she held in her wee wee to win the Wii. Okay, jokes aside, holding your bladder is unhealthy and can kill you and so can holding in your emotions. You just have to do it in the appropriate environment and at the appropriate time. Likewise, you have to be in control of the bladder of your emotions and not just freak out or cry or piss or moan about things in the moment they happen. But eventually, you do have to let it out. The goal is to calmly and rationally handle problems as they arise, without getting caught up in the heat of the moment and firing off on a short fuse. Eventually, though, you have to kind of drain it out (the emotion) in a controlled environment, as not to hurt anyone or yourself. How you let it out is up to you. Punch a pillow, shout underwater, listen to music, play some videogames, whatever gets you back to emotional homeostasis. Let it build up too much though and you’ll let it spill over and quite possibly, kill yourself (or others) Gamers, we blow off steam by shooting undead or aliens, not innocent people in the real world, playing a Madden football game. The fact that a shooter would kill two people, and himself, and harm several others, yet alone anyone, is dreadful and disgusting. The numbers don’t matter. Shooting people IRL (in real life) because you lost a game is NOT okay. It’s just not He was acting like a sensitive cry baby. Despite being 24-years old, shooter was David Katz was nothing but a little boy who couldn’t handle not getting his way, and threw a temper tantrum, a temper tantrum that lamentably ended with the lives of others. This is the bane of enabling a hysterical, active mindset where instant gratification is always ready and available and it’s “okay to express your emotions”. People need to be procrastinators. They need to happy with the eventual gratification and comfortable with delaying/controlling their emotions. It’s not okay to just express your emotions and those messages need to stop. It’s better to be calm and rational, lazy and laid back when it comes to reacting your emotions. I’m not saying being heartless and unemotional. No. I’m saying don’t let your emotions control you. You may not be able to control your emotions directly, but you can control how you react to them, and the lazier you are, the more laid back you are, the less you care, and the easier it is to set your mind at ease. Surprisingly, even Fox News couldn't warrant a blame on the "violent videya games" That’s probably because there's nothing inherently violent about Madden. Heck, it's a football game. I mean what are they gonna do? Call for a banning of football and physical contact sports? No. I'm not gonna try and raise a gun debate here, but there's obviously a larger issue at hand here than "video games make people violent." I mean first, the guy did legally attain a firearm, despite having some serious mental issues with a history of both medication and professional psychiatric treatment. Second, it seems a lot of these shooters lack a strong father figure, and his parents were divorced. Third, he was a loner, not that being a loner or introverted for that matter automatically means you’re a shooter, but that ingredient combined with the other two are common among all the shooter cases: mental illness, lack of father figure, loner -- the recipe for disaster. But I won’t go too deep down that route for the purposes of this article. The fourth, and I think more macro level issue, which we’re going to focus on here, is the typical “work hard” mantra we are bombarded with, day in and day out; the “go for the goal” propaganda that hits us constantly and is rarely, if ever, balanced out by messages to take it easy and be lazy (which is what I’m offering here). Look, I’m not going to lie, I have definitely had my share of rage quits, especially in Dark Souls or the old PS2 gem called Maximo (which was basically a 3D remake of the notoriously hard classic arcade hit, Ghosts n’ Goblins) but at the end of the day, honey badger don't care. I think the greater issue is the push in society to be the best and the drive for competition. We're taught to go "no holds barred' and to "work hard until you get what you want". We’re unceasingly barraged and blasted with these type of “give more effort” messages that it really starts to take a toll on our psyche. That makes people a bit relentless and uncompromising when it comes to achieving their goals. The consequences of enabling a go-getter mindset is exampled here in the story we’re talking about. We feel that if we don’t accomplish, if we don’t beat it, if we don’t win, we’re a failure. Our instinct tells us failure means death; it’s hardwired in our brains. Our ancestors, if they made a mistake, if they had a failure, it would often end up not surviving. Likewise, if they didn’t receive social approval, their odds of surviving alone, outside the group were slim; plus without a group, they could never pro create. So we’ve evolved to associate failure and social disapproval with lack of survival ability. Pushing people beyond their limits was a survival of the fittest tactic. People who fail at something big feel like they are literally fighting for their life to survive. They can’t fail or they will die. We’ve continued to push this subconscious belief in society, even though technology has given us comfort and safety; it’s allowed us to be lazy and enjoy leisure. Failure in the modern world (usually) does not end in a life or death, struggle for survival scenario. There are exceptions of course: car accidents, plane crashes, etc. But the point is: while the consequences aren’t as realistic as primal times, the feelings, the emotions, the pain, are the same. That pain of failure and social disapproval is just as intense as our ancestors experience. It doesn’t help that we, as a society, further that pain by pushing the “Go! Go! Go!” drive. Imagine if this guy embraced the Lazy Mindset and took victories as they came and didn't get frantic or emotionally unhinged or charged up at failure He could have just moved on, without worry. Hakuna Matata! I write with deep sorrow that this is not the case, and again, offer my grief to the victims and their families, for as much as that is worth. ----- By the way, props to CNN for focusing their story on the victims themselves, by the way, and not glorifying the shooter in this article. They just mention him as a little foot note at the end. THAT is how you write about these issues. Stop giving shooters the glory. Typically when news outlets talk about shootings, they say the name of the perpetrator, they show his picture, they talk about the body count. They then talk about the shooter and his past, his family, his life. (To be fair though, CNN did have a later article completely focusing on just the shooter alone, so I'm not completely glorifying or praising them) This is what they want guys. They want that notoriety; they want to be infamous for their “work” Really, the only one that seems human in these stories, I mean the way that they are typically told, is the shooter himself. Everyone else is just a number that happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. If you want the shootings to stop, you have to make the victims the ones with the story, the victims the ones that are human. I believe CNN should go even further and refer to this guy as “Shooter 946“ or something and don’t show his picture. They actually later wrote an entire article focusing completely on the shooter and his life. Look, I know people may be curious and it’ll sell more “papers”, but don’t do it. Don’t give him the attention he was craving. You don’t pay attention to a screaming toddler who is on a temper-tantrum, because what happens if you do? They learn that’s how they get what they want; that’s how they get attention; that’s how they win. So you don’t pay attention to a shooter trying to make a name for himself, just like you don’t pay attention to the out bursting toddler. ’ You pay attention to the people he hurt -- the victims, the families. The shooters, like the toddlers they are, will learn to shut up. Keep calm and procrastinate on. N8 Update 8/27/2018: Fox News just blamed the Florida shooting on "violent" video games. This is just about the typical response we'd expect from them. I'm surprised they waited a day though. Normally they're right on pulling that "videya game" blame trigger before you can say "first person shooter." Let's ban the "violent" football games. How can someone tell the difference between tackling someone on the field and plummeting someone to the ground on the street?
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You may feel like you're working hard and that the exertion you do is physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. You may feel fatigued from the amount of "intense labor" you have to do in your job or taking care of your kids or home.
Well, unless you’re working in a coal mine or on a construction site, the amount of work required nowadays, especially at a typical desk job, is really not a lot. And unless you're churning your own butter and washing your clothes by hand, household chores are quite simple. You can heat up dinner, wash clothes & dishes, by shouting at your damn walls for god's sake now. Things seem “hard” because we’re so used to the technology we have that makes our lives easier. Heck, even as a construction worker, it’s much easier now to use an electric jackhammer than a hammer and chisel or a powerdrill than a Phillps screwdriver. See, we live in a world so full of all these gadgets and apps that automate and streamline our life that we’ve sort of taken them for granted. We literally have some of the coolest shit, and there hasn’t been a civilization in all of history that had the capability to be so...lazy. I mean we're just a few steps away from living Wall-e style with our butts glued to our chairs and our faces glued to our screens. If that's the ultimate future, the Charizard, then we as a society are Charmeleon right now. Just a few more levels and we're ready to evolve We can talk to a speaker in our house to turn off our lights. We can press a button form our phone to start up and heat up/cool down our car. We can order pizza from our TV And that’s just the daily life at home. In the work life, we have software that can automate sales and communication, touch screens that let customers order with the click of a button, chat bots that can answer customers’ questions, Yet despite how lazy we can be in our lives, we tend to ignore how helpful this technology is and tell ourselves how hard we’re working and how stressful it is. We have to instead embrace the Lazy Mindset and not be so overwhelmed by the little amount of work that we actually do. One bit of practical advice in order to reach our goal of thinking like a PROcrastinator, is to actually do something in the hardest way possible. I know this may sound crazy and sort of counter intuitive, but trust me, when you make things hard for yourself, on purpose, you’ll soon see just how easy you actually have it. The famous song Big Yellow Taxi says “you don’t know what you got ‘til it’s gone.” Well, what we’re going to do is learn form that principle by taking away a technology you currently use and doing things the hard way. You’ll soon realize you didn’t know how much laziness you already had in your life until it’s gone. I’ll give you an example of how I did this. I remember during a radio internship, I had to literally cut/splice pieces together on an old reel to reel tape machine. Normally when I edit audio, I have a software as a tool to visualize everything and keep track of progress, as well as have an undo button and a save button, both which can be a lifesaver None of these features apply when editing with reel to reel, but I learned so much doing it, like how to EQ and multi-track using only my ears and not my eyes and how to take my time to do things. You have to be patient with reel to reel and not rush through it, because if you cut wrong, you can't ctrl+z to fix it. Really helped me fine tune things and learn how to edit deliberately, rather than always using trial and error. When you do things the “hard way”, or the old fashioned way by hand, it makes you appreciate the technology and tools we have today that make various tasks and chores so much easier compared to the old fashioned way of doing things. It also allows you to do work more deliberately rather than just running through the motions of getting it done, without concentration or focus. Make a recipe from complete scratch; don’t use any pre-made ingredients; heck, churn the butter, grow the spices, build a fire. Visit a new place without using GPS or looking up directions online; use an old map and compass to route your trip instead. Sew your own outfit, craft your own shoes. Create your own soap and get the water from a nearby well or river. When I was in Boy Scouts, I actually did a lot of these things “the hard way”. Many of the merit badges required demonstrating skills without the use of modern technology. It took a lot of time, patience, effort, and competence. Plus, the camping trips were about survival, not comfort. We didn’t have a stove or a refrigerator or a heater or an air conditioner. We had a sleeping bag and matches. Some of the badges were very challenging, but ultimately I grew a better appreciation for the modern conveniences we have in our advanced civilization. I also felt more thankful for the contemporary comforts I had at home when I wasn’t out in the woods. Don’t get me wrong; I love camping. But going on these trips made me realize just how lazy the average day is for someone in present day compared to the average day of our ancestors. The days of our ancestors were full of hard work and grind. Today -- not so much. When you take the time to do things “the hard way”, you’ll realize that the amount of effort it takes to do things in your modern daily routine is quite low and easy. What you define as “hard work” is really a fraction of what our ancestors would put under the same definition. If you want to be a Lazy mastermind, a PROcrastinator, you have to have deep insight and understanding in how lazy you are already being. You have to realize you are already using the inventions and systems of Lazy Masterminds. You’ve grown to take them for granted and “feel” like you’re working hard because you want more leisure. When you do things the hard way, you realize you realize you’re not working within the constraints of a hardworking system, but rather within an easy one full of automation and leisure. Life isn’t as hard as you thought. Your goal is not to put yourself through sweat, blood, tears, and labor in order to achieve the best results possible within the current system. Your goal, rather is to create even more leisure, to make things easier , to upgrade the system and allow more laziness to happen, while simultaneously exceeding the results made possible in the original system. Laziness is evolution. It is in your human nature to create more leisure for yourself (and others) -- to minimize effort and maximize results. Intelligence and creative thinking and problem-solving skills are the evolutionary strengths of human beings. We’re not built to be strong physical workers. So many other animals have evolved for that sort of thing. We’re built to be thinkers. And above that, we even build systems, essentially AI, to think for us, so we’re built to be procrastinators. Like it or not, we’ve evolved that way. Your goal is not to work hard within the system you are given, but to create a new system that provides even more leisure than the original system allowed. When you do things the hard way, you’ll soon have an “ah ha!” moment, an epiphany, where you’ll see that the hardest thing about your work is how hard you stress out about it and convince yourself it’s more difficult than it actually is. Make things easy for yourself and do things the hard way first. -N8 Slow and Steady wins the race, procrastinator.
Yeah, you remember that. It was the moral of the story in the little fairy tale of the tortoise and the hare. To recap, since it’s been a while since our childhood, a tortoise and a hare (a rabbit) challenge each other to a race. The hare is all cocky, and is not shy about his agile speed and superior athleticism. He brags and brags about how he’s going to win because clearly, he’s faster. He’s excited about the competition and the chance to demonstrate his swift dexterity and ultimately win the race The tortoise, on the other hand, is a Lazy Mastermind. He’s relaxed and laid back about the whole idea of the competition. He doesn’t get worked up about it, or worry for a second that the hare is the better athlete in this situation. He let’s the hare run his mouth off as he just slowly nods and smiles. “Mmm hmm, we’ll see,” he says, which may not be an actual quote from the original story, but he was clearly thinking it and embracing it in his entire physical demeanor. His slow, deliberate body language said it all: he didn’t care how great his competition was or what they were capable of. The tortoise wasn’t scared or anxious either. He also wasn’t overly ambitious or eager, unlike the hare. He had his goal to just get there, not win anything. He presented the Procrastinator“Meh” attitude and really didn’t care one way or the other. He realized that either the hare’s going to win and prove nothing because so what if he beat a slow ass competitor or he was going to lose or embarrass himself. He didn’t need to say this out loud, directly, though, because he was going to let the results speak for themself. Anyway, the race begins, and predictably, the hare sprints ahead in the lead, quite bluntly kicking the tortoise’s ass in the race. The hare puts all his energy and effort into rushing to get things done, in this case, the race. He scurries his way around the course, no holds barred. Navigating with nimble speed, he makes quick turns without a thought and haphazardly jumps over obstacles in a quick fashion, even when not necessary. His running tactic is full of excitement and passion; he works intensely hard to keep his body moving and maintain a fast pace. Eventually though, the hare gets worn out. His energy is depleted. His rapid run comes to a halt. Full stop. He needs a break to rejuvenate his mind, body, and spirit because his relentless and determined work ethic caught the better of him. Now he puts his progress on hold and falls asleep. Meanwhile, the tortoise, the procrastinator, who is slowly and carefully navigating the race path, choosing each turn carefully and dodging obstacles deliberately and only when absolutely unavoidable, gets closer to where the hare is resting. He doesn’t make a noise or brag as he passes; he softly, quietly, and casually exceeds the progress of the hare. He doesn’t need to brag or make a big deal about it. Then slowly, but surely, the tortoise crosses the finish line before the hare even awakens. The hare, after a quite bit of a slumber, wakes up and immediately gets back to zooming passed trees and hopping over rocks, stepping with pride in his step. As he reaches the finish line, panting heavily out of breath, and he’s absolutely flabbergasted by the fact that the tortoise is already there, waiting for him. He pouts on about how he shouldn’t have fallen asleep and the tortoise just nods and smiles and says: “Slow and steady wins the race.” Indeed it does. Yet that little fairy tale comes and goes just as quick as childhood itself, because after that one story, that one little anecdote, that one important life lesson is taught, it’s completely demolished and utterly destroyed by every single other message in society: “Work hard” “Have ambition” “Be excited to get up and go” “Get there as fast as possible” This is what we are taught, the propaganda we receive non-stop. All these messages dilute the moral once taught because they (the real winners of the Social and Economic race) don’t want to teach children to “win” the race, they only want to teach them to participate in the race and put in as much effort as possible, and be panting out of breath, barely surviving as they cross the finish line. They want them to grow up and be hard workers, who barely make it to the end. The winners in society do not want competition, so they teach you how to be a loser, If you want to win, if you want to be successful in this little social and economic race structure of ours, you’ve got to embrace the Lazy Mindset of the tortoise. You’ve got to become a Lazy Mastermind. Have patience. Take your time on projects, make choices carefully, take risks, but make them calculated and deliberate, not spontaneous and aimless. Don’t worry about competition or failure, just keep moving forward with purpose and intention and you’ll get there...eventually. But do move forward, keep moving forward, even if it’s the slowest pace compared to all your other competitors. Do not stop. They’ll get burned out; you won’t. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you need to do it now - that you need to be successful now and you need to be doing EVERYTHING to earn that success right now. There’s no rush. See, we also live in a world of instant gratification. You get entertainment, information, and emotional /sexual stimulation instantly. Because this instant gratification is so predominant in society and basically everything we do, people set themselves up to unrealistic expectations in moving forward. They think if they don’t reach success in an instant , they’re a failure. They may work but sooner or later, they burn out and stop to rest then make no progress at all and they get “stuck in a rut”. Slow and steady wins the race and you don’t need the INSTANT gratification of that “win”. Instant gratification is a topic we’ll have to dive into more detail later. Until next time, take it easy. take it reeeaal easy. Oh and to learn more about the Lazy Mindset as well as ways to make money while you sleep and lazy life hacks, don't forget to subscribe to the new ProcrastiN8r Podcast, available now on Spotify, Google Play, and Stitcher. iTunes is still having technical difficulties as of writing and the podcast will not be available on that platform until further notice. N8 Getting emotionally involved in drama takes too much energy. It takes too much effort to yell, cry, or scream. The procrastinator is relaxed, laid back, and in control of his emotions.
Think about the last time you got all “worked up” because of something your boss, spouse, relative, or friend said to you. You might have acted on impulse. After ranting and raving in anger, disgust, sadness, bitterness or whatever emotion you were feeling that moment, you probably felt a bit tired and worn out. A little toddler will go on a temper tantrum, shouting and letting out tears, but eventually he’ll crash and want to take his “nap time”. It’s time to grow up and be a lazy adult. Instead of exerting all that emotional energy into a childish tantrum, save it for later. Save it to slowly move forward on a goal. Now that’s not to say a procrastinator is completely emotionless, nor does it mean he ignores his emotions. He does feel emotion, he does recognize it, but he also controls how he reacts to it because he’s too lazy to let it out. The Lazy Mindset in handling emotions is something along the thought process of: “Meh, I’m a bit mad right now, but I don’t really feel like yelling til my throat is dry and my face turns hot red. I’d rather just calmly but firmly explain how I feel. That’d be easier and I won’t run out of breath. Likewise, you want others to just chill and not get all worked up. You create an aura of calmness and a drama-free zone. You don’t let others try and release their toddler tantrum to you or around you. You shut it down if and when they do. It can be something simple like: “Hey not cool. Quit it. No drama” Of course,it’s called getting worked up because it literally takes work to wrap yourself up in a negative emotion so much that you physically react to it. And trust me, it wears you out. But people will tell you “that’s how I feel. It’s okay to yell or cry sometimes. Some other person made me feel that way.” That’s a high alert and nerves on edge, immature way of thinking and reacting to your emotions.You want one of laziness, of calmness and relaxed nerves. It’s like potty training. When you’re a kid you don’t quite know how to hold your bladder properly, so what you do? You piss your pants. It’s okay. You’re a freaking kid and don’t know any better yet. But you learn, you grow. You become potty trained. Then, as an adult, and bladder mastery under your belt, sure, you can piss yourself, but you look stupid. As an adult you have the control to hold back your instinct to pee yourself. You have control over your natural body reaction to want to pee right then and there. I can hear all the trolls now: Oh, but Nate, I thought you were all about being lazy. Wouldn’t it be lazy to just pee yourself. HEUH HEUH HEUH HEUH HEUH! The fuck? Now you’v e got a mess to clean up, so no. Plus, the procrastinator is always in control of what he does and what he says. (By the way, for you gender neutral or female readers here, I use the term “he” as a generic word, mmm k? I’m too lazy to write out 93 pronouns every time I say one. Let’s just sick to one for the purposes of this article and any other blog I ever write. He’s not gender specific in the purposes of my writing here.) It’s time to potty train your emotions. Hold back your natural body reaction to want to yell, hit, scream, cry, whatever when you’re upset. It may seem “hard” but that’s just because you’re not used to it. You’re not trained. Just like potty training, if you do piss your pants, it’s harder to deal with the mess, the changing of clothes, and the embarrassment, compared to just knowing when to get up to use the restroom. Similarly, it’s harder to deal with the fighting, the drama, and stronger emotional pain than it is to know when to just get up and leave. Whoops! Couldn't hold in the pee drama in my bladder... Eventually, it just becomes second hand nature and it’s so easy . The more in control you are of your emotions, the less effort it takes to control them. Going back to the potty training example, when you first learn how to “hold it in”, it feels so uncomfortable and maybe even painful, that you may burst any time, but eventually, you barely notice it unless it’s an “emergency”. You reach a point where you’re so relaxed and laid back that drama just seems silly in the same vein peeing yourself in public does. It honestly seems when people, full grown ass adults, do get upset or worry frantically, it’s as if these people are some sort of cartoon or caricature of a real person. They are so far gone from your tranquil lazy reality that their reaction just seems nonsensical and utterly ridiculous. The key to avoiding drama in your life is calling it out for what it is: a loony, illogical, childish reaction to things that wastes way too much energy. You speak in a calm yet firm tone. Don’t shout at them or fire back or make it sound like an insult. Just nonchalantly call them out on their stupid behavior. Don’t be sarcastic or condescending. Don’t beat around the bush. Just be straightforward. Be sure to also recognize their feelings and that they are valid, but make it clear the way they are reacting to those feelings is not and you will not stoop down to their level of lack of emotional control. You are a calm, relaxed procrastinator. “I understand you’re feeling upset, and rightfully so, but the way you’re acting is unacceptable. I’d like to discuss the issue, but I’m going to give you time to get your emotion out and think about things first. When you’re ready to have a rational adult conversation about it , you know how to reach me. There’s no sense in both of us getting worked up.” Then walk away. That’s it. You’re not trying to get a reaction out of them. You just want them to take it easy and chill. Don’t ever tell them directly to “calm down” though because that never works and will amplify their negative emotion tenfold. Give them steps like “first work through your emotions” then “think about your situation from a logical standpoint” and not just flat out “relax”. You want to use a tone of indifference, like you don’t really care one way or another. You’re completely not attached to the situation emotionally in any fashion. “Meh” is what you think about it. “Meh” is how you feel. No drama or strife = happy life. You may not be in control of everything life throws at you. You may not even be in control of how you feel about the ups and downs of life, but you are absolutely in full control of how you react to it. Until next time, Take it easy. Take it reeeaaaal easy. See ya Friday (Aug 10th) on National Lazy Day and the launch of the podcast! N8 The more you people-please, the unhappier you will be.
This is because you're basically spending precious time, money, and effort on someone else with little to no mutual or returned benefit. You've got to drop that faster than you drop down on the couch after a long day at work. Being a successful procrastinator, a Lazy Mastermind, involves being a bit selfish and doing things on your own time. You basically have to be too lazy to care about anyone else’s wants or needs but your own. You’ve got to stop people pleasing. It takes too much time and energy (and sometimes money) to do things for other people. You’ve got to save those resources for yourself. You’ve been living under the false impression that making other people happy is how you gain social approval and success. Wrong. People respect people, they place value on, people who value their own resources of time, money, and effort. Doing things for other people is tiring, time-consuming, expensive, and very rarely is it actually rewarding. Sure, maybe you’ll make the other person happy or you’ll feel good about helping a person in need who is really struggling. But at the end of the day, if you’re not helping yourself, you’re hurting yourself. And at the end of the day, that person you thought you were helping out of a “rough patch” is still stuck because guess what? They became reliant on your help. Cut that non-sense out. You’ll be called selfish. You’ll be called lazy. You’ll be called rude. Smile and say “thank you.” I mean you can people please and people-please all you want, but eventually you’ll wear yourself out and say “enough is enough”. You’re either going to take heed to my advice now and start procrastinating or continue people-pleasing then face a rough road ahead. I say take the easy way out. Any effort you do put into something ultimately should serve yourself, otherwise it’s a complete waste. If someone asks them to do something, the procrastinator doesn’t jump up immediately to fulfill that person’s request. If s/he does do it at all, it is done on his time, not anyone else’s. S/he gets it done when s/he wants, when s/he feels like it. S/he doesn’t follow schedules. S/he makes his own. S/he also doesn’t help out if it’s not convenient for them. For example, if their friend asks them to pick them up from work because s/he needs a ride, the lazy person would decline unless s/he was already out running errands in the same neighborhood. Likewise if their roommate asked them to take out the trash while s/he was sitting on the couch, the procrastinator wouldn’t take the trash out until s/he gets up to do something else he was going to do anyway, like go to the bathroom. The attitude the procrastinator has if s/he does help out is “Well, I was going to do it anyway and I’m not doing it just because you asked.” Plus, if you're people pleasing everyone then you're not being a real person. Not everyone is going to like you. Get over it. You've got to be too lazy to try and be anyone else but yourself and too lazy to care about the fact that some people just don't and won't like you no matter what you do. It takes too much effort to fake your way through life, making fake friendships and pleasing people that quite bluntly don't give a f*ck about you. If you create value within yourself by doing what you want, you'll attract the right like-minded people and "please" them and "help" them as a sort of by-product of your lifestyle, without going through leaps and bounds of trying to win someone over that just doesn't hold similar values and will NEVER appreciate you (at least to the degree that you would hope for or expect) As a PROcrastiN8r, you don’t share your time, money, or energy with someone unless you are reciprocated equally or have an excess amount of resources. We’ll have to dive into the details of reciprocation as well as what constitutes “excessive” resources. But for now, just avoid going out of your way to help anyone out. Take it easy. Take it reeeaaal easy. N8 |
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