Ah, good ole relationships. Whether its professional, romantic, or platonic, it’s great to connect and bond someone you really get along with. Unfortunately…. They’re not always ...perfect to say the least. As a matter of fact, they can be pretty shitty. Ya know what, forget all this talk about “toxic”. Like toxic relationships this, toxic friendships that, toxic work environments blah blah blah. Makes good SEO, sure, but let's not use euphemism here. No, they’re shitty. They suck. You may find yourself stuck with shitty friend, a shitty partner, a shitty boss, a shitty family member. Sometimes you have to accept the fact that “things just aren’t working out” and… LET IT GO. It’s whatever, man. Like leaves off a sloth back, just quit it, forget it, and move on. Some things, some people, are just not worth the time and effort. Take it easy - you don’t need them. You live in your own lazy abode and don’t need anyone else’s approval (or even presence) in your life. As a ProcrastiN8r, time and effort is something you give away very, very sparingly and you certainly don’t want to give it to people that’ll just drain you of it and leave you nothing in return. If your efforts aren’t reciprocated or appreciated *on a consistent basis*... You have to let go. I mean for the sake of your sanity and ability to lay on the couch and not worry. It sucks, especially if you’ve grown emotionally attached or feel in some way obligated to continue with it. You may feel this magical sensation called “love”, and as good as a feeling as that might be, it can often cloud our judgement. Often times, the person you quote on quote “ love”, either romantically or in a total platonic way, doesn’t actually exist. You love the ideal, a fantasy you created, of the person, and not the person themselves. Take a good hard look at what they do, rather than what they say. Actions speak louder than words. Just like the propaganda in society, love convinces you to “work hard” in order to fix what’s broken (well I mean there even is actual propaganda saying that too but that’s another story), your heart pulls at you to “work things out”. Your heart is such a dumb ass. Use your brain, kid. Never work hard. In your career or perhaps in your relationships, anything. Don’t fall for that bullshit. Give yourself freedom (to be lazy) Look, you can’t unburn a pizza in the oven, no matter how hard you try, no matter how much work or effort you put in. Once it’s burnt, it’s burnt. And that’s how some relationships are. They’re just so fundamentally ruined that there’s no amount of effort or work that can (or very well should) be done in attempt to remedy the situation. It’s done. Gone. Over. (Burnt) Toast. Of course, it’s better not to grow too emotionally attached to begin with to the point where you’re needy, but that’s another topic. It’s easier to let go when you’re not dependent on a person in any way, such as emotional comfort. Be a self reliant lazy son of a bitch. Put in “just enough” effort into every aspect of your life, including relationships. Ending a relationship stings, man. It always does. The pain never gets easier; you just learn that flushing the toilet has more benefits than leaving the shit in the bowl, even if you’re proud of how big a turd it is. You gotta rip that bandage off; it’ll hurt a fuck ton at first, but it’ll heal over time. Let it go Let it go. Let it go. I’m not getting off the couch any more. Sometimes it’s best to just cut your losses and move on. This theory applies to financial investments, entrepreneurial endeavors, and personal relationships So how do you know if you’re in one of these shitty relationships? What sort of signs are there to look for in a toxic relationship or toxic friendship? 1. The first sign that it’s time to flush the toilet, so to speak, is that you fight about literally everything -- little, inconsequential things that have absolutely no impact on...anything really. Every relationship I had (whether it was romantic or just a friend) where we started arguing about insignificant bullshit came to an end soon after. They nitpick you and criticize your character about every single decision you make, down to the ice cream flavor you picked or the shirt that you decided to wear. It’s always “I can’t believe you would... or “why would you…” “that’s unbelievable” or something that attempts to undermine your character simply for...existing. That’s friggin tiresome, man. And unless I’m lying in bed, I don’t want to feel tired. I like my naps for sure. I don’t like feeling exhausted from breathing. It’s not even that I can’t take criticism. What I can’t take is pestering. That’s a big NO in my book. Like if a person insists that you are always in the wrong, just no. I’m the type of guy that can admit my mistakes too; I believe “Mistakes are Meh” but I totally own it. However, I absolutely can’t stand a person that can't criticize themselves and on;ly criticize others. Best to nip it in the bud then let it slowly rot and say “Bye Felicia” 2. Second, if the person is ignoring you or generally acting bored or uninterested whenever you hang out, and they most certainly ignore your requests for help. Oh and if if they always seem to come to you for help, that’s a cherry on top of the shit sundae we’re making here Now of course, if you’re practicing the L.A.Z.Y. Mindset, you’ll know that the “A” in lazy is Aloof. It’s an important attribute to have -- the ability to not give a fuck. But there’s a fine line between being aloof and being ignorant. One is more carefree, the other is straight up belligerent. You wanna be aloof because you don’t care what other people think or do, not because you’re trying to manipulate the situation and gain some sort of attention. Sure, they may be busy, or just distracted. Life gets in the way. But if it’s almost as if they can’t even look you in the eye, or even acknowledge your presence, yet alone accomplishments, then clearly, they're just playing games or using you for attention or some other benefit. Look, if they want to talk in silence, then they can talk to the door slamming in their face. (Don’t actually slam the door though. That’s just insecure and totally not ProcrastiN8r like at all. It’s metaphorical.) Anyway... 3. Third, and the final sign to look for in a shitty relationship, that we’ll cover for now, is lack of accountability. If it’s always your fault, if it’s always something you did, if you’re always in the wrong, then book it and run to the hills. It’s never a good sign if they can’t take any sort of blame. Even if they lie to you, or cheat on you by breaking any sort of promise (commitment or otherwise), it was because you did something that made them feel like they had no other choice. They never apologize or admit to their mistakes. When caught in a lie, they deny it. You provide evidence but still, they say it’s not true. Oh but they never lied. They tell you that with a straight face, and their crazy little mind, they mean it. See, because their truth is based on emotion, rather than ya know, actual facts. It’s almost as if life to them is a series of consequences that they have absolutely no control over. Imagine living in a world where feelings dictate your decisions, instead of sound logic and reason. That type of person is child-like and isn’t mature enough to be in any sort of adult relationship. You aren’t their parent. They need to grow up and learn to take accountability. There’s more signs to look for, we can cover in detail in a later article, but overall, if they’re treating you like shit and if you feel drained every single time you’re around them Feeling drained is certainly the biggest sign that it’s time to close doors. These are “social vampires”, they have a thirst for your emotional energy and drain you of it. Quality relationships should add to your laziness, not be a lot of hard work. They relax you. They shouldn't drain you of energy . If you feel absolutely depleted after spending time with them, that's a job, not a relationship. You don't want to work a job at all, yet alone one in your free time. Now it’s important to note, there is a difference between a shitty relationship and having shit happen in the relationship. Shit happens. It does happen. No big deal. Not every bad thing that happens is a deal breaker. No relationship is perfect. Ever. Remember that. Sometimes there will be fallout. There will be heavy disagreements. You are two people with individual experiences and a unique perspective and mindset on life. Unless the other person is literally your clone, you won’t agree on everything. But even if you disagree on fundamental moral principles and worldview, it doesn't mean you can’t get along. Take Daryl Davis, for example, the blues musician, a black man who befriended KKK members, (and later had them retire their robes) not by YELLING his points to their face but instead by sitting, leaning back, and listening. This goes to show the power of listening and understanding over attacking and debating for social justice and can also work on a personal level. Ideally, you should avoid escalating disagreements to drama. Your life should be a drama free zone. You shouldn’t end a relationship because you feel shitty. Do it because, objectively speaking the relationship itself is in fact, shitty. There are gonna be some dips here and there, and at times, yes, you'll feel shitty, but if the overall trend is positive, at least you’re moving in the right direction. On the other hand, from a logical perspective, if the trend is negative overall, then it’s time to cut it. Just like investing in the stock or crypto market, if there are more downward spikes than upward inclines, it’s time to dump your shares or coins. The relationship is on a positive trend if both people are gaining a mutually beneficial connection. It's on a negative trend if the benefits favor one person over the other. It takes two to tango. There’s only so much effort you can put in, and if it’s not reciprocated, then it ain’t worth it. They say the key to a relationship is “communication”. Well, part of communication is listening and understanding. You can talk and communicate ‘til your lips fall off, but that doesn’t matter if they aren’t even listening or even trying to see where you’re coming from. Again, Daryl Davis, who is just a musician understood this principle and got results. He wasn't some psychologist or sociologist, just a dude who plays music. Goes to show, you don't need to be an expert in psychology to make relationships work -- just be able to lean back and listen, like a true procrastin8r. Now all that said, the best way to deal with a toxic relationship or friendship is to... Avoid Toxic Relationships in the First Place
There’s that old saying that goes “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”. You should apply the same theory to your romantic relationships and friendships. Make it clear *from the beginning* what your boundaries are. You shouldn’t be a door mat. If things bother you, don’t just let it slide. Make it clear that your life is a drama free zone Yes, you want to be laid back, but you lay *on* the couch. You are not the couch itself. Don’t let people just put their feet up on you. Have clear, cut boundaries and be firm, not aggressive or mean, but firm, when people cross them. Let them know you’re a lazy bastard so they know what’s coming. The more people you meet, and grow close to, the easier it'll be to recognize patterns and certain behaviors that are toxic and should be avoided. What if it's too late? What if you reached the point of no return and there's absolutely no fixing your relationship and you realize it's well, pretty shitty? Here's the thing. Don’t look at relationships or friendships as something you absolutely NEED, but as a “bonus”. They’re nice to have but not something you need to function. They add to your life. They don't create it. In doing so, you’ll attract high quality people who don’t give you bullshit. The people that bring about bullshit are only gonna bring bullshit to those who let them. Don't stoop down to their level. They just want to pick on weak people. But you're strong. I mean heck, no one can shake and wake you out of bed, yet alone out of your calm state of mind. You’re too lazy to tolerate any kind of bullshit and people will respect you for that. You’ll eventually attract people that do respect and want to build you up, not break you down. But that's not the goal, just a sort of a byproduct of living with the Lazy Mindset. Recognize when something is shit and don’t be afraid to walk away, so you can go back to playing video games or taking a nap. Until next time, Take it easy, N8
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You want to make friends or find a date. But... you’re not much of a talker. You’re asking yourself something along the lines of: “How do I talk to girls? How do I meet new friends? How do I keep conversations interesting without getting awkward?” Maybe you’re shy or just too lazy to carry on a conversation or simply do not give a fuck about other people. You’re quiet, an introvert and quite possibly feel drained if you talk too much to other people. You might even consider yourself a bit “socially awkward” But you realize making new friends and maintaining old ones requires actually participating in a conversation. Friendships and dating, relationships, seem like a lot of effort and you’d rather sit on the couch all day than have to worry about it. Unfortunately, that puts you in a perpetual loop of wanting to go out with friends or meet new people, but feeling too shy and awkward to actually do those things. It creates this feeling of loneliness. Luckily for you, the key to attracting people (as friends or otherwise) is to get them talking. For the most part, you lean on back and let the other person do all the heavy lifting for you. Embrace your laziness and let them talk. You ask a question and let them answer, then follow up with another question. People absolutely LOVE talking about themselves. They love being the center of attention. They love feeling important, like their story matters. All you need to do is make them feel like they matter. Just. Ask. Questions. That’s it really. You don’t need to put on a show or “try” to make the conversation interesting. As a matter of fact... Being a great conversationalist is less about being interesting and more about being curious. You’ll be doing a lot more listening than speaking. You'll transform from a Socially Awkward Penguin into a Smooth Talking Sloth if you read this blog to the end and go apply it. Luckily for you, the key to attracting people (as friends or otherwise) is to get them talking. For the most part, you lean on back and let the other person do all the heavy lifting for you. Embrace your laziness and let them talk. You ask a question and let them answer, then follow up with another question. People absolutely LOVE talking about themselves. They love being the center of attention. They love feeling important, like their story matters. All you need to do is make them feel like they matter. Just. Ask. Questions. That’s it really. You don’t need to put on a show or “try” to make the conversation interesting. As a matter of fact... Being a great conversationalist is less about being interesting and more about being curious. You’ll be doing a lot more listening than speaking. You'll transform from a Socially Awkward Penguin into a Smooth Talking Sloth if you read this blog to the end and go apply it. Using the dog example, s/he may tell a story about how her dog swam in her pool and loved the water. You can tease them and say "oh wow a puppy and a pool. Someone was spoiled as a kid" Gently teasing shows a high level of comfort and confidence. But just make it natural and not forced. Also, try to avoid over-teasing. There’s a fine line between being playful and being a bully. You can then ask them if they had any pool parties, and maybe s/he tells you about that one crazy day s/he and the entire swim team went skinny dipping. Boom! Now you know she was on the swim team and you know s/he went skinny dipping Did you get caught? would be a good question here and may open more threads and an entire story in itself. You can also choose to tease them again and be like "that's awesome. remind me to never let you in my pool" A good go-to question, if you're stuck or can't think back to a thread or maybe were just too lazy to be paying full attention is "How did it make you feel?" This question works more so with girls than guys. In general, guys like questions that allow them to express their knowledge or ability. Girls like questions that allow them to express their emotions. There are exceptions of course and ideally you should mix in both for either gender but lean towards one or the other, depending on the type of response you get. Are they answering more enthusiastically when you dive into their knowledge or their emotions? To dig for knowledge, you could say something like "explain that in more detail" or "tell me what you mean" or “How did you figure that out?” Also, don't try to "fill in the gaps" and break the silence. Just relax. Take a moment to absorb the information. It's sometimes good to let a little silence create social pressure, and it again shows confidence that you're patient and not so jittery to quickly say something Procrastinate the conversation for a few moments. In terms of body language, lean back with open arms. You're not interrogating them, you're just talking. Also, avoid nervous laughter. It helps to hang out at a place you feel comfortable at and can “live in your humble abode”. Embrace the Lazy mindset and put yourself in a place of leisure, where you’re totally relaxed, if not physically, at least mentally. As a rule of thumb: Ask questions that you are genuinely curious about. Your motive is curiosity -- behind every conversation. Don’t force a question just to ask a question. Don’t ask dumb questions. Like “oh you mentioned you like purple. Do you have a lot of purple clothes?” No one cares about the colors of another person’s wardrobe (unless they’re obsessed with like, a celebrity or something) and you certainly don’t either. Only ask questions that you would actually want to know the answer to. You’re trying to avoid talking here and wasting precious time and energy so you can go back to bed, so don’t waste your breath asking POINTLESS questions. You want to ask COMPELLING questions that engage. Avoid mundane, small-talk questions. You can “small talk” to get the conversation started, but eventually you’re gonna have to dive deeper. This will create a deeper connection and stronger rapport with that person. The truth about small talk is no one really likes small talk. It’s boring, redundant, and a waste of breath. Skip to the juicy bits, like you skip a Netflix show intro. Ask the *good* questions. Get to the show and skip the fancy introduction. Like okay they mentioned the color purple, maybe they’re into fashion, maybe they started a fashion company or work as a model, maybe their an artist or a painter. NOW you’re on to something. While you can “choose your own adventure”, you want to make it an actual ADVENTURE and not a regurgitated conversation you both had a thousand times over. If you were actually reading a book, you’d want the dialogue between characters to be interesting, compelling, inspiring you to want to, you know, actually read it. Likewise, you want to make your IRL dialogue interesting, otherwise people will want to put down the book -- end the conversation. How do you make IRL dialogue interesting? Again, not by being interesting yourself, but by being curious and making *the other person* interesting (or at least appear interesting anyway). Your goal as a great conversationalist, and lazy PRO-crastin8r who minimizes effort and maximizes results, is to make the other person believe they are interesting. And quite consequently in doing so, you will appear interesting yourself. Open-ended questions are typically the best in terms of inspiring conversation. Don’t ask too many “yes” or “no” questions. A child will always asks “Why?” about nearly everything, because they’re just naturally curious about things. Embrace the same level of enthusiasm, just don’t be as annoying about it. Think about what “thread” would be interesting to find out or learn more about, then follow it. Ask the questions that everyone wants to know the answers to, but are afraid to ask. As your conversation unfolds, switch between a serious tone and witty banter. Too much seriousness makes you dull. Too much quirkiness makes you a clown. It's a balancing act, but don't overthink it. You'll learn to ride the waves so to speak, and know when and how to switch accordingly. Relax and “go with the flow” Humor and banter also goes a long way in creating compelling conversation and making it fun, as well as build rapport. But definitely shouldn't be used as a crutch. It should be used as a purposeful rapport building exercise and lightening of the conversation, not a "well this is awkward. let me tell a joke" Procrastinate the conversation with purpose. It's better to let there be silence than to have a poorly timed joke. Timing is almost everything. It's difficult to explain how comedic timing works in a blog post though and is more of something that comes with both practice and listening to stand up and comedy shows. It's best to avoid self depreciation humor completely, or use very very sparingly. This can easily come off as insecure. For the most part, I'd say don't use it at all until you have the skill to carry on a conversation and tell jokes without resorting to it. Teasing can be good too, as it shows a level of comfort, but too much of it can also just come across as salty. There's a fine line between teasing and bullying, as mentioned earlier. Improv is an incredible skill and joining a local improv group is an incredible experience. It can definitely help with sparking the humor side of things and keeping a conversation flowing. The truth (and the ability to point it out) is funny. Honesty is what a lot of humor comes down to. The funniest people are normally the ones that aren't even trying to be funny, but just speak their minds. A lot of great stand up comedians are funny because they are just telling the truth. No need to be an overthetop slapstick clown to get a few laughs. Plus, that’s a lot of work, which you probably want to avoid anyway. Show you have a sense of humor but not that you're a jester here to entertain. That’s an extra job you don’t want. Laughing at your own jokes, especially before anyone else laughs should be avoided (and even more especially if it's self depreciating) as it communicates a lack of self esteem and will encourage people to DISrespect you. Remember, the most compelling conversations are perfectly balanced between humor and seriousness. But again, I can't stress enough: you'll be doing a FRACTION of the actual talking. One skill you should practice, if you're looking to enhance your conversationalist ability is to LISTEN. Not only should you listen to the words of the person you are talking to so you can create more threads in the conversation down the line, but in your free time... Listen to Talk Show and radio hosts. These are literally professional conversationalists. They know how to get answers out of their guests and they know how to keep a conversation flowing smoothly. The more you listen, the more you'll be able to replicate the style of others and combine it to create a unique conversation style of your own. You'll learn it's less about what you say, but how you say it . It helps to know a little bit about everything. You can relate with knowledge and personal anecdotes but keep it brief. By listening to talk shows, you'll get a sense of how to integrate your own ideas, anecdotes, and jokes into a conversation but keep the "guest" (the person you talk to) in the spotlight. Now how do you start a conversation in the first place?? A good conversation starter is always some current event. Current events work wonders in getting people talking. It kind of knocks people out of “their own little world” and gets them thinking “oh yeah, we share this world together, and there’s some bizarre shit going on”. You can also use something they’re wearing as a conversation starter. Avoid commenting physical body features (especially to girls). First, they hear this type of shit all the time. Second, there aren’t really many conversation threads you can open from “nice tits, nice ass, nice eyes.” Instead look at what’s she’s wearing/holding. Maybe she’s wearing a t-shirt for her soccer team or maybe she’s in a classy business suit. “I noticed you were wearing [blank] and thought you might [insert assumption]” Guys rarely receive positive attention, so compliments actually go a long way for them. Once they mention some personal info, use it as a thread to create further engagement. They basically do 80% of the talking. You lead the conversation. That's it. You only put in 20% of the effort. That’s the lazy way. That’s the effective way. You put in very little effort, yet people will be drawn to you. It’ll win you way more friends and dates than you ever did actually “trying” to be liked and a good talker. Now in order for this to happen, in order to be successful at winning friends as a charismatic Bard or something... You must eventually dive deep into who they are, as a person -- their beliefs, their fears, their goals. Think like a journalist and "find the story". Every person has a story and unique perspective. Strike up "no risk" conversations like a cashier, waitress, or bar tender just so you practice your conversationalist skills. That way, when you approach a girl (or potential lover of any gender) she's just another person you're talking to and not some princess you're trying to woo or whatever. Take the pressure off yourself. Chill dude. You don’t have to talk a lot to be a great conversationalist. You just have to know how to get other people to talk a lot. And that’s the secret that lazy people know. The final thing I want to cover briefly in regards to being a lazy yet compelling conversationalist is this: Always end the conversation on YOUR terms.. Make the person want *more*.
Don’t wait for it to get awkward. Don’t wait for them to tell you they have to go themselves. Be the one to end the conversation first. Always. Besides, they’re lucky you got out of bed, yet alone are talking to them, of all people, in the first place. Wait for an opportune time, when positive emotions are high -- a good time is when you get the person laughs hard --- then take your exit. “Hey, I gotta go get back to playing video games.” or whatever. Communicate that, yeah maybe they were interesting, but you have better *more interesting* things to do. How long the conversation lasts varies depending on the situation. Like if it’s a person you just met, keep it under 10 minutes. If it’s an old friend, you could go on for a few hours. Remember, time is you most valuable asset, especially as a procrastinator. There are movies to watch, naps to take, video games to play. You ain’t got time to talk or hang out too long, but when you do, you make people want to be around you and share details about themselves that they don’t normally share. It’s better to talk little and say a lot than to talk a lot and say little. - N8 P.S. Confession: I used to be that awkward shy lazy nerd in high school, but now I’m a smooth, suave talker. I’m still lazy though. I just found a way to talk “enough” to be interesting. This stuff worked for me and can hopefully work for you too. Not Giving a Fuck is a delicate art form that true PRO-crastiN8rs meditate and practice. It is the pathway to Confidence and eventually self-fullfillment, the lazy pathway that is! Like any great art, it takes years of study achieve full mastery, but today, I want to at least take a little plunge in and get our feet wet on this true and powerful art form. It’ll be more like paint by numbers in terms of difficulty, but will at least give a us a good starting point into the topic. Besides, slow n’ steady wins the race. We can later get more in depth. Eventually...probably...maybe. Most martial arts will teach you to use it not to kill, but to protect. Likewise, it is important to use the Art of NGAF for a sense of peace, rather than for warmongering purposes. One must use it to lay back and not care as opposed to recklessly not caring about the lives and needs of others. Some may call this art "confidence". You heard that right. Confidence is simply the art of not giving a fuck. The more fucks you give, the more insecure you'll feel about yourself. Less is more. Cha Cha Cha charisma. But seriously, the more emotionally attached you are to an person, place, or idea, the harder it is to let go when things go south . You trap yourself in a mental prison if you care too much about something/someone. Now you don't need to be a cold heartless bastard. Put in "just enough". Be lazy and frugal with your investment of emotional, mental, and financial resources. Give "just enough" to others. Care about others without caring what they think of you. And care about yourself above others. That's the principle in confidence. It may sound like you're being selfish, but that doesn't matter. At least you have self respect and can walk away from something or someone shitty. Honey badger don't care and honey badger confident as fuck! Just abide and do your own thing REGARDLESS. Regardless of what? Just regardless. Period. Regardless of consequences. Regardless of disapproval. Regardless of hate. Regardless of fill in the blank. Live for your own happiness rather than for the happiness of others. Enjoy yourself and people will be naturally drawn to your enjoyment of life. Let go of your need for approval. Let go of your fears of rejection. Let go of your anxiety to get things right. All confidence is is freedom. Freedom to do, say, and feel what you want and how you want it without feeling attached to commitment or obligation of others. It's doing things on *your* terms regardless...or not doing them for that matter. Don't worry about others' expectations of you. Hakuna Mattata or whatever. Now if you’re wondering “what if” or “but”... You're thinking too much. You're making problems that don't even exist. Either they're gone in the past or imagined in the future, but they certainly don't exist RIGHT NOW in the president. Confidence is the act of doing, without getting bogged down by thoughts or limitations. It's the feeling of limitlessness. True freedom. Laziness is your path to get there. When you're lazy, you naturally just don't care about things that waste time, energy, or money. You don't care what people think about you. You just do you, dude. You naturally have the talent for the Art of Not Giving a Fuck when you embrace your laziness. You let go of the past and don't care how or why things could go wrong. All these pain points you may have are just distractions. Stop distracting yourself. Stop hesitating. Think positive...or don't think at all. Just abide. Relax.. Go to that party or interview or date with the attitude of "I'm gonna have a good time." See that? Simple and straightforward. None of this "what if" or "but" excuses. Besides, you can't be prepared for every situation and you'll drive yourself crazy trying to think of them and a solution to each of them. Make a decision and then make that decision right. Don't worry about making the right decision. That's a tedious process and results in nothing but anxiety. Just go with the flow. Look, anxiety is a natural emotion. Rejection and lack of social approval meant you wouldn't have a tribe to protect you in the hunting n gathering days of our ancestors Our brains are literally hardwired to associate social disapproval with death. Look...dude, seriously…. You're not gonna die if people reject you. You're not. The instincts are still there tho. You just gotta recognize it for what it is and roll thru it, without second guessing yourself.
You only come across awkward if you're worried about how awkward you appear. Free yourself from rationalizing your reptile brain's instincts. Remember: "I'm here to have a good time". Not make friends, not find a date, not get a job. Have a good time. That's it. You'll come across laid back and attract more people than you ever would "trying" If you must think, in regard to the art of NGAF, then you should have the following type of thoughts: "I like me. I'm pretty damn awesome. And if you think otherwise, you're wrong. I don't need your or anyone else's approval. My presence is commanding and not an apology. Respect from me must be earned. I don't submit. I lead. I'm decisive. I take action and don't need to explain myself. I'm naturally charismatic. I radiate confidence. I take charge of social situations with ease. I am unfazed by rejection." Those are the type of thoughts you should be having. Adhere to this advice and your (lazy) confidence will level up Or ignore it. I don’t give a fuck! - N8 So you want to spend all day laying on the couch? But you have bills to pay and you’ve got at least one mouth to feed. They tell you “go to school n’ get a good job” Well, the student debt is right now over a TRILLION dollars. Trillion. With a T. People are going to school, gettin’ their “good education”, earning their degree and failing to find *any* job, yet alone one in their field of study, that can get them to hardly break even on the cost of said degree. Case and point: a college degree is nothing more than the largest, most expensive, singly ply piece of toilet paper and you’re better off dropping out. Sure, you could drop out and go for some “trade” like HVAC or plumbing or construction or something, but no, that requires work and actually getting off your lazy ass. No, thank you. I know some guys in HVAC and all of them work like 60 hour weeks, including weekends, and are always “on call” even on their days off. I want to be in control of my own time, do things when I want, when i feel like, not feel obligated by someone else’s demands and schedule. Also, there are some low effort jobs, like security, that are pretty laid back most of the time and the job consist of *mostly* sitting around doing nothing, but I don’t want to wear a uniform or a three piece suit. I want to sit in my cozy pjs on the couch or the bed, not a desk with a chair that spins but probably doesn’t recline. If you’re like me, you want a job where you can
Anyway, let’s dive into it. . Content Creator (Vlogger, Streamer, Podcaster, Blogger) Content creation is basically monetizing your online activity and building a following of people that enjoy or find value in what you do online. When beginning content creation, people will say “oh, well find your passion”, like you need some intense infatuation and obsession with a field or hobby. You just need to like the damned thing. You don’t need this magical path of destiny. If you like video games, make content about video games. If you like cooking, make content about cooking. Sure, you could find a more profitable niche than what you actually like, but you’ll quickly burn out [LINK] and get bored with it. It’s better to stick with something you like and go for the long, slow game, rather than the quick hardworking one. And here’s the kicker: You’re already a content creator. You just need to start putting a price on it. Do you make comments online, either on forums or social media? Do you make posts on reddit or create your own juicy memes? Do you post pictures on instagram or Snapchat or even Facebook? What about Amazon reviews? Well, guess what? All of that is content that*you* created. You just haven’t been monetizing it yet. Take content you already wrote and repurpose it for a blog or repurpose it for a video or podcast. Copy those words and paste them into a script, as I talked about on lvl 31 of the the ProcrastiN8 Podcast “Copy & Procrasti-naste”. Bonus points if you’re female. As a matter of fact, you don’t even really have to do much on “quality” in your content, just look pretty. Look at Belle Delphine. This chick was selling “gamer girl bathwater” for $35 a pop. I ain’t knocking her. I mean hell, if a tiny jar of MY bath water were worth $35, I'd take 50 baths a day She sold 500 jars at $35 a pop. Christ that's over $17k, minus the cost of jars and shipping. Some people are working 9-5 for five days a week to earn LESS than that. Can't say she's not a PRO-crastiN8r. Marketing genius honestly. She knows her target audience is dumb enough to pay for it. The way she smiles and says to the camera “Hey gamer boys” [who are lonely and/or virgin] -- she knows what she's doing and her target demographic. That's some next level online money making. These guys were thirsty and not because they wanted a drink. They wanted to quench their thirst for something, for sure. People are calling her a “scam artist”. Look, she said she was selling dirty bathwater and people bought it. She didn’t hide what she was doing. I’m more flabbergasted by the idiots who bought this thing. I mean gamer girl bathwater, c’mon dude. She SOLD OUT too. Well, at least her website said she sold out but still. I bet the chick who licked ice cream coulda re-sold it as "gamer girl" ice cream and be fine Anyway, Belle Delphine also trolled her followers by promising to make a Pornhub account if she got 1m likes. Well she got over 2m likes and made her account. She then proceeded to make an slew of videos including... “Playing with her pussy”, where she played with a stuffed cat Or “making cream pie” where she *literally baked a cream pie in the kitchen with ingredients Her fans were pissed, but maybe it’ll wake them up a little and stop drinking dirty bathwater from a girl they’ll never even meet. Now if you’re not female and/or at least semi-attractive, or simply don’t want to exploit male horniness as sales tactic, you have to go the old school method of monetizing your content.
You can also stream and get paid to basically sit there and hang out, doing it is what you would be doing anyway, like playing video games...or playing with yourself. Speaking of which, next week on the ProcrastiN8r Podcast, we'll be having a guest -- a straight married man who makes money jacking off in front of gay dudes on Snapchat. 2. Programmer(Game Designer/Software Developer) This is literally sitting in front of the computer and typing lines of code. Pajama Pants? Check Laptop on couch? Check. Programming is a language but instead of using the witty banter or informative dialogue as you would with content creation, you’re using problem solving and logical reasoning. You can sell software. Inspired by his own laziness, Robin Singh, founder of e-junkie, created an automated way of selling his software and it became the backbone of his business. You can listen to the ProcrastiN8r Podcast on episode 12 for the full interview. Basically find a solution to a problem. Make lives easier with technology. There are a lot of start ups nowadays that are literally just selling software or digital services. Back in the day in order to start and run a business, you needed to own real estate, hire employees ,the whole nine yards. Now, you can literally start a whole business on the couch with just a laptop. Look at Uber, the biggest taxi company in the world, but doesn’t own a single vehicle. Then there’s GrubHub, the largest delivery service for food, that doesn’t own a single restaurant. Remember, entrepreneurship is just a fancy word for “professional laziness”. With programming skills (which you can by the way, learn easily online), you can also make games The mobile market makes it very easy to get published as a developer. I don’t encourage this behavior at all, and as a matter of fact am adamantly against it as a gamer, but making addictive “hyper casual” games that appeal to the masses with a heavy focus on getting them to purchase more energy, more lives, better cards, whatever, are insanely profitable. You can also throw in ads to enhance the profit even further. Just don’t be too invasive with the ads, otherwise, people will uninstall your app. There is definitely a market for “serious gamers” that would pay full price for a game to avoid any IAP crap oir ads, even if it’s not the mainstream audience. 3. Investor Investing is actually pretty easy and you don’t need to be a certified accountant or expert stock broker to profit. Invest in stocks of companies you’re familiar with, companies you buy from. If you’re familiar with a market, the research is done for you. You’re already familiar with the trends going on in a specific niche that you like and are a part of, so all you do is invest accordingly. For example,if you are a gamer, like myself, you may be aware of upcoming titles from noteworthy developers. Well typically, you can “jump on the hype” of a release and make a profit. Of course, as a disclaimer, there’s always a risk of losing money whenever you make any sort of investment with your money and there is absolutely no way to *guarantee* you can find investing to be profitable. Even if you don’t want to day trade or constantly flip shares by buying low and selling high, you can pretty much stick to “blue chip” stocks, your safest bet, and profit in the long run. These are companies like Johnson & Johnson, Coca-Cola, McDonald’s, ya know, companies that do they’re thing and aren’t really going away any time soon. Just invest in quote on quote “boring” companies. It doesn’t have to be the most profitable, just the most stable. Have patience like a sloth and climb that tree to the top eventually. Besides trying to find “THE NEXT BIG THING” is too much of a hassle. Just keep it simple, man. Investing in crypto and HYIPs is also an easy thing, with the right strategy. I cover the basics in my podcast on I was Gonna Get a Job, Then i Got HYIP. You can invest in crypto mining equipment as well as phones for "phone farming", having your phones run videos passively and earning money any.d your computers mine money. 4. Tutor/Counselor/Life Coach While there are some legitimate “Life Coach Certifications” you can earn like the ACTP, legally, there is absolutely no formal education, certification, or background required to call yourself a life coach. Some Psychology background may help, but is not actually necessary. And besides, all a degree is is a piece of paper that says “I showed up for class and passed exams”. It doesn’t determine how much experience and knowledge you actually have. What I’m saying is, anyone can be a life coach and offer life coaching services. There are websites, like VIPKid, Nicetalk, and PALfish, where you can tutor kids from China who are learning English. Best of all, there’s no knowledge of the Chinese language necessary. You just have to talk with them and let them practice their English. You can even create your own course on sites like Teachable, Udemy , or SkillShare. If you like sharing your knowledge about a topic to your friends/family anyway, you might as well offer to teach it and get paid. 5. Freelancer (artist, audio producer, musician, writer, web designer, developer, SEO expert, social media manager, voice talent) This is similar to content creation where you choose something you like but instead of publishing stuff for people to consume, you are focused on providing a service. Pick a skill. If you’re going to be playing guitar in your free time anyway, you can offer to record racks for money. If you’re going to be building websites for fun, you can offer to do it for companies and get paid. If you’re going to be drawing, you can offer graphic design services. Just monetize your hobby. That’s all. That’s the lazy way to do it. Fiverr and Upwork are some great places to start freelancing. You can even offer “gaming services” like leveling up and grinding on Fortnite or World of Warcraft or Runescape or something. G2G and Gameflip are great sites for that sort of “freelancing” 6. Online Merchant Find a product within your niche that is sellable and doesn’t have much competition. You can make your product “Fulfilled by Amazon” so you only have to make the shipment once (to Amazon) and then only send more when they run out of your inventory. This makes it easy so you’re not constantly running to the post office personally. Limited edition “Collectible” items within your niche (the thing you like that keeps you procrastinating work and class) are insanely profitable. This is more of a buy and hold strategy though, since it may take a few months or even few years for the value of the collectible to really be worth a lot more than what you paid. Remember, you have to cover the cost of shipping and materials. Black Friday is also a great opportunity to grab deals and flip them for a lot higher price. Look for sales throughout the entire year though, outside of just that last week of November though. Again it helps to actually like the damned thing, because you’ll be aware of the prices, what people want, and what makes something a “good deal”. It’ll be easy to find a good item to flip if you like the niche your flipping in. Avoid niches you’re unfamiliar with because that's just asking to lose money. You actually don’t even need to purchase your own products, either. You can sell t-shirt designs, which you either make yourself if drawing is you’re thing or sell other people’s designs though an affiliate system like the one TeePublic has. You can open your own store and add other artists designs to your shop. You can combine this with Content Creator to promote said shop and products. 7. Transcriber If you like listening to podcasts and watching videos and are a fast typer, there’s no better gig than this. You just type what you hear and usually get paid per minute of audio you transcribe. Of course, you’ll pick up the ability to type as you are listening and will rarely have to pause. It won’t feel like work at all. Typing becomes second hand nature, like reaching for your rum n’ coke or flaming hot Cheetos Scribie and TranscibeMe are some good paying sites for this type of lazy cash. 8. Micro-Tasker
One could argue that this type of work is “more tedious” than a day job. Yeah, but you’re your own boss. You call the shots. And again, pjs and couch is better than suit and cubicle. You take surveys or enter data, like the items on a receipt You probably already take surveys on Buzzfeed to find out what type of chair you are or some shit, might as well take surveys and actually get paid, oh and not to mention, contribute to science. YEAH SCIENCE! YEAH MONEY! mTurk, which is owned by Amazon, is a solid site for both surveys and data entry jobs, and since it’s Amazon, it’s not gonna be one of these cheap little start up companies that is gone ina few months; it’ll be here for a while. I used to make a couple hundred from mTurk alone, but have gotten bored with it. I do take the occasional survey now just for some pocket change though. mTurk is limited to the US, Canada, and India Prolific Academic is global, with a focus on surveys, but the queue (available survey tasks) is usually a lot lower I tend to avoid sites like InstaGC or Swagbucks or any of these other various “GPT” (get paid to) sites as far as surveys are concerned I always seem to get “disqualified” after 20 minutes or more of my time. Swag n InstGC are worth it for the passive video apps, though. Well, there you have it - the top ways to make money from the couch. No need to get a "real job" when you can make an income living in your cozy, lazy, humble abode. Enjoy your frequent naps and pajama parties, while other people complain about going to work. Take it easy, N8 Schools waste a lot of time teaching, or indoctrinating you more accurately stated, with a lot of pointless lessons.
Today I want to cover some topics that should be covered at at school but aren’t and that you can skip class and learn from the comforts of the couch instead. And I hear you all saying: “But Nate, my school taught “blah blah blah blah blah”. Well great, good for your school. Your school is unique and offers an uncommon course in the American education system by and large. Congratulations! This article is focused on what the education system in general fails to teach students, but absolutely should. Also we’re focused on grades up to high school and even college (depending on your major). Yes, there are *some* exceptions. Get over it. For the most part , the education system sucks and doesn’t teach you basic life skills. Kids grow up knowing the structure of a cell but not how to pay their taxes. That’s why you have to be a procrastinator and skip these classes in order to learn actual useful shit. There is plenty of material out there available for FREE to learn from and you don’t have to sit in a boring classroom or wake up at the ass crack of dawn to learn it. You can wake up at 1 o clock in the afternoon and not have to worry about being late for class. It’s a lot more important to learn the things on this list, then say complex math formulas you probably won’t use unless you’re an engineer. Drop out of school then spend the day on the couch in your pjs, browsing your phone or laptop to learn these life skills. Now luckily for you, I cover most of these topics here on the ProcrastiN8r (as a total lazy non-expert) on both the blog and podcast and you can even have pudding if you don’t eat your meat. I’ll also provide some of my suggested materials as well. 1. Personal Finance Money, money, money MONEY! Money keeps the world running. You basically need money to exist. Your food, your clothes (optional), your house. Despite how the exchange of money being such an important, every day thing, we never get any sort of money math problems in class, unless it involves a weird little anecdote with something about apples or donuts The only money “math problems” people may come across is when you’re dealing with *real money problems* and wind up deep in debt or not able to ever retire. We never learn about taxes, loans, investments, credit, budgeting, or even retirement savings, despite how prevelant money is in our everyday lives. Knowing how to handle money, at least on a basic level, is actually very easy and one of the laziest ways to build wealth. You basically just let it sit there and the money earns itself. It’s the reason the rich get richer. Money makes more money. And that’s probably why they don’t want to teach you how to use it properly. I went through 16 years of education and didn’t know a damned thing about retirement funds or investing in the stock market or heck, even how to go apartment or real estate hunting. There are a ton of financial podcasts that taught me more about how to deal with money in 3 days of listening than 16 years of education in a non-finance degree. Ric Edelman, Radical Personal Finance, Stacking Benjamins, and Listen Money Matters are all solid ones to listen to, providing good insight and entertainment all in one package. I’d rather listen to a podcast than a class hall lecture any day. Even Dave Ramsey is worth a listen for beginners. (Okay, that’s totally my guilty pleasure.) 2. Programming In a world with automation growing, VR entering gaming, and AI taking over earth. We don’t learn basic level programming in school. We still learn goddamn Roman Numerals though. Oh thank god for that. Like alright, chief, it’s been centuries. I think it’s V much about time to X the good ole Roman Numerals. I mean what the hell? Should we learn hieroglyphics too? Oh and cursive writing, also a requirement, which is becoming obsolete thanks to keyboards and touch screens Yet, again, there’s not even the most basic 101 course in most schools for Computer Programming. Again, some exceptions exist I’m sure. Luckily, you can learn this shit from the couch.There’s tons of video tutorials on YouTube for Programming. Andy Sterkowitz's channel is great. You can basically get a whole course for FREE There’s even an RPG you can learn programming with called Code Combat. Gamification of elarning programming. OH YEAH! Game Maker Studio is also a cool software that lets you build your own games using a simplified programming language and is a good way to learn the basics And any skill that can be learned and practiced 100% sitting down in front of computer is procrastin8r approved. 3. Survival Now in a world where people are glued to the screens of their smartphones, everything from cars to toasters are becoming automated, it’s important to have less technological dependency I mean, ya gotta be prepared for the zombie apocalypse right? Or at least prevent the rise of machines. That’s where Wilderness Survival comes in. Schools should teach us how to do things WITHOUT technology, using the basic tools for survival. Do things the HARD way. Go camping and live in the great outdoors. It’ll put things in perspective and make you realize “Oh shit, life is actually already pretty lazy”. Your bed will feel ten times more comfortable than it did before several nights spent in a sleeping bag in a tent. Basic First Aid goes hand in hand with survival here. They’ll teach you the entire calendar of the 1800s but not how to handle even minor injuries. You should know how to deal with bleeding, create basic splint sand perform CPR Really not that hard to do and could potentially save someone’s life. Plus every team is looking for a healer, amirite? You could fall off the couch and die, otherwise, if you don’t know basic first aid. 4. Communication It’s no wonder why people are “living in their own worlds” and not talking to one another. We’re not taught how to communicate effectively, or even at all. Reading Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People once does more at teaching strong communication than years of textbooks do at school. Schools don’t teach… How to share your ideas How to express your emotions without lashing out. How to disagree with authority. Instead you’re just taught to sit down and shut up. Listen to authority without question. You’re taught to submit. “Discipline” they call it, which is a euphemism for training you to be a docile sheep. You’re certainly not taught Leadership. Leadership is basically a fancy way of saying “I’m too lazy to do my own work, so I get other people to do it for me” And they want you to be a hardworking slave. You’re not even taught how to properly perform public speaking but are expected to give presentations for a grade. It’s totally bizarre. It’s no wonder the divorce rate is so high and families are broken, people never learn how to build meaningful relationships with their family, friends, or even romantic partners, which communication classes could cover. Communication is a problem in society but no one wants to talk about it. 5. Confidence This is more of a broad category of skills that we aren’t taught in school but it all comes down to a single feat: the ability to not give a fuck (aka confidence) Confidence is of course the natural skill of a procrastin8r, remaining cool, calm, and level headed at all times. It’s a matter of taking it easy and doing what you want, without worry. Having a high level of confidence, a high level of not giving af allows you to - have solid Emotional Control - manage your Stress - Handle failure (and say Mistakes are Meh) - Take criticism - avoid Drama - Avoid giving Unnecessary Apologies School, if anything tries to make you feel insecure by throwing a giant F on your paper, and they don’t even teach you how to deal with the F in that failure. Do your own thing and don’t feel guilty about it. Just keep it real and let it roll like leaves off a sloth’s back. have self reliant nature and do your own lazy thing rather than try to live up to obligations of others. 6. How to actually fucking LEARN School is not a place of learning; it's a place of indoctrination. We’re not taught how to learn, explore, and problem solve. We’re not taught how to think critically and analyze and apply knowledge to real world solutions. We’re only taught how to regurgitate information and pass exams. It’s a numbers game, not a knowledge adventure and that limits your intellectual potential. It’s a dull and boring way to utilize your brain and really limits what you’re capable of. You can honestly learn more problem-solving skills from playing games like Zelda, Resident Evil, or God of War than any classroom. So just sit at home and play video games instead, especially a good adventure or RPG game with puzzles. 7. Online Marketing People practically live on the Internet. Social Media has changed the way we communicate entirely. Online Marketing is the way to attract customers and like-minded people to your brand, product, or service. It is an essential, yet easy way to grow a business, yet isn’t taught in schools. If you’re ever going to have any sort of business or blog online (or even try to enter the job market personally), you’re going to need some solid online marketing skills. Gone are the days of traditional marketing. Gone are the days of trying to create eye-catching billboards, especially when automated cars become commonplace and people aren’t even looking out the windows of their cars. Gone are the days of funny or catchy commercials, especially when most people stream their content anyway or use ad blocker to skip ads. Online marketing is quintessential for any sort of modern day business. And if you decide they hey, maybe you want to enter the job market... Online marketing is not only important for your own business or blog, but also for your own personal branding. You need to be able to effectively market yourself to potential employers. We’re not taught how to use social media *properly* and take advantage of all the tools there are at our disposal. Wendy's charming sass, for example, is beloved all over the Internet, but is truly just an online marketing gimmick. Pat Flynn’s Smart Passive Income and Online Marketing Made Easy with Amy Portfield are awesome resources in learning how to get your brand out there with very little effort. Otherwise, you can probably learn more about online marketing by browsing juicy memes than from showing up to class. 8. Time management (Procrastination with Purpose) We’re given a huge ass work load in school, but aren’t taught the time management skills to deal with it. Procrastination is a vital tool in tackling large work loads. It’s better to “put off” some things rather than try and force yourself to We’re handed a slew of homework and just told to get it done. Period. No guideline on how to go about doing it without burning out. Time Management is just a euphemism for Procrastinating with Purpose and being able to slack off things that don’t matter in order to focus on things that do. You’re better off practicing and learning any one (or all) of these skills than goi ng to class any day. All in all, school is a big waste of time, and fails to properly prepare children for the real world. They grow up not knowing “how to adult”. It’s the procrastinators who get Cs at best that end up becoming more successful. Drop out or do just enough to get by. Definitely don’t worry about scoring straight As. All that says is that you have Intellectual Bulimia and are able to throw back up whatever you consume Be a real learner and sit at home learning useful things rather than impractical shit that you’ll probably forget about anyway. Take it easy, N8 |
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August 2018
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