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Troubles come. It’s inevitable. That’s sort of one of the “perks” you get in life. You get to experience some bad shit. Woo hoo!
Okay, clearly, troubles aren’t necessarily a great thing you want to celebrate about. But it ain’t that bad either. No sense worrying about it anyway. Worrying is not the lazy way at all. Worrying is extra mental and emotional effort. And extra effort, nah, not something you want to deal with as a procrastin8r. I mean, I’ve said it before, clear cut: “Don’t worry.” . I never said “Don’t have any trouble”, though. That would be impossible. You can’t avoid having any troubles in your life, but you can decide not to let it bother you. You can decide not to worry about it. And what is worrying? Well, it’s ruminating over bad feelings over and over, it’s beating yourself up about how miserable of a situation you find yourself in, it’s,put plain n’ simple: making your troubles more troublesome. And at the end of the day, getting worked up is nothing but creating more “work” for you to do, so don’t do that. Alright so you know what you “don’t” want to do, but what do you actually DO about these troubles? Well first of all, you must realize this. Realize that while troubles do come, they also go. This too shall pass. And there’s no sense in getting caught up in it perpetually, worrying yourself to death before whatever you’re worried about kills you. That said, no matter what situation you find yourself in, the best course of action to take, or perhaps better stated the best course of “inaction” to take is to quite simply relax. Relax. That’s all you have to do. When you’re feeling stressed out, when you’re mad or upset, when shit hits the fan and you’re on the verge of a panic attack….relax. Perhaps easier said than done though, right?. After all, it’s hard to ignore the agonizing pain you feel when something heavy hits ya. But I want to clarify and say I’m not telling you to ignore the pain or write it off like it's nothing. It is something, but it’s not enough of something to rile you up and make you lose focus. Relaxing is about staying Cool, Calm, and Laid Back at all times DESPITE whatever sort of shit hits the fan. It’s more of a mental framework and less of something you perform. Today, we’re gonna take a look at how to relax and why you should relax, and without further ado, let’s dive...right into it! “Relaxation” is a state of mind, not something you do This is the first point we’ll cover right off the bat. You may think that in order to relax you must DO something. And while there are things you can do to sort of “trigger” a state of relaxation, like breathing deeply or stretching, the very act of doing these things is not “relaxing” itself. You achieve relaxation, as a state of mind, by the deep breathing or the taking of the nap or whatever soothing type activity you choose, but “relaxing” itself is more about the thought process and feeling you get, rather than the activity that gets you to feel it. Certainly, there are plenty of “relaxing” activities you can do, and they are relaxing in the sense that they hold the ability to allow you to relax. You may play a hobby or lie on the hammock and feel ‘relaxed”, but doing these sorts of things is not the action of “relaxing.” Relaxing is simply feeling at ease, it’s embracing an inner-peace. It’s a feeling that “It’s all good.” To relax is not so much to do a blissful activity, but to feel bliss in the very moment, whatever the surroundings or circumstances are. The reason why it’s important to understand that relaxing is a feeling instead of an action is because eventually you want to be able to achieve that sort of feeling, without relying on some sort of external cue to get there. You can feel just as relaxed standing on stage in front of a large audience at a public speaking event as you do while lying on the beach sipping margaritas. You can feel just as relaxed in a stop dead traffic jam as you do lying in your couch at home in your PJs watching Netflix. You can feel just as relaxed going out on a date with someone new as you do sitting by the campfire roasting s’mores. You get the gist. Basically, no matter what’s happening on the outside, even if things are frustrating, scary, or otherwise uncomfortable, you still feel relaxed on the inside. You have to remember, you can’t control external events and happenings; you can only control what happens in your own head. Although the outside world may not be in the least bit “relaxing”, you can be relaxing on the inside world. Now before you are able to “just relax” inside, despite how terrible things are on the outside, you have to become familiar with that feeling of relaxation. After all, you can’t achieve feeling a certain way if you’re not custom to what it's like to even feel it in the first place. I mean, maybe you’re so used to feeling stressed all the time that it’s almost like you completely dumped out any and all feelings of relaxation. Well, let’s take a look at how to get that feeling back next. Do Things That Relax You When shit happens, when you’re hit with stress, you may feel the constant pressure to go about and be busy - to participate in activities like work or household chores, which only induce even more stress. Look man, don’t pressure yourself to do anything, especially when you’re undergoing stress. If you’re feeling sick, with a high fever, sore throat, runny nose, and cough, you stay in bed to recover. You relax yourself physically to rejuvenate your body. Well, the same theory applies to when you’re feeling stressed. You relax yourself mentally to rejuvenate your mind. Leisure (the big L in L.A.Z.Y) is an important thing to add to your life. Contrary to popular belief, it’s 100% completely okay to take a break once in a while. It's acceptable to lie in bed not only when you’re physically exhausted but mentally and emotionally as well. So if you want to remember the feeling of relaxing, stop trying to fuss about with a million things on your to-do list. Instead, find time to…relax (or better stated, do something that relaxes you). Call in “sick." You’re “sick” of work. Sick n’ tired of all the stress. You need a day off. Heck, even God took a day off when he created the universe. I’m not religious, yet alone a supreme omnipotent being, but hey, if the supposed creator of everything can take a day off, so can you. Take time to actually do something that soothes you, that creates an aura of tranquility, and a feeling of inner-peace. Put aside your chores and “have-tos” and fully and completely embrace your laziness. That’s right, be lazy. Kick off your shoes and lie on the couch, break out the popcorn and turn on some old Saturday morning cartoons. That’s just a suggestion, but what I’m getting at here is to do something that removes the hassle, that removes the stress, do something that calms you down. I mean in this productivity pushing society, you’re constantly hyping yourself up, moving from one task to another, in between unpredictable stressful events like lost keys, annoying sales calls, and a global pandemic. You gotta take time to do something that doesn’t cause frustration or panic or any sort of discomfort. Maybe that’s fishing out on a boat, maybe that’s strumming your six string, maybe that’s heck I don’t know painting your nails or some shit. Find a hobby or activity that makes you feel...okay, for once, as if outside worries seemingly dissipate. You’ll find when you’re doing the thing you enjoy, that all your woes and sorrows disappear. You’ll find peace of mind. It is that feeling of peace you must seek after, that you must familiarize yourself with. When I was a kid, at eleven years old, our dog died and needless to say, I along with my little sisters were completely devastated. I remember tears pouring out of our eyes as we mourned the loss of not just a pet, but a member of the family. My mom said to us “Why don’t you do something fun to take your mind off things?” Take my mind off things? How could I ? My best friend was gone. She must have saw the lack of inspiration to do something else in my face, so in her attempts to comfort me further, my mother looked at me and said “Just for a little while.” Something about the way she said it,take my mind off of it, just for a little while, I realized that I was putting my mind ON the thing that was upsetting me. I was so fixated on how terrible it was and how awful it made me feel to come home to a dead dog. I needed to do something to take my mind off the bad and put it ON the good in life,. I needed to relax, not forget about my dog, not ignore the fact that she was gone, but move my mind, for a little while, temporarily, some place else. And the best way to do that was to do something “fun”. So...I grabbed my GameBoy Advanced and booted up a copy of Castlevania: Circle of the Moon, and as I was whipping monsters through Dracula’s catacombs, the woes and worries I was going through earlier that night, didn’t faze me at all. I felt completely okay, despite what had just happened. I felt...fine. Certainly, I wasn’t the happiest and chipper eleven year old right after my dog died, but as I played my handheld, I wasn’t the saddest either. I hope that little anecdote can illustrate that doing something you enjoy, even in the most traumatic of moments, can help you relax. And what you’ll find is that to relax is to find balance within yourself, it’s to bring yourself back to center. You’re not so far gone in misery nor are you lost in bliss; you’re balanced in a way that keeps you calm and able to cope with the current set of circumstances. Try it for yourself. The next time something traumatic or stressful happens, instead of getting upset or making a huge fuss about it “take your mind off of it” and “do something fun.” You’ll find that you had it in you not to worry all along. You just needed a fun activity to lead you there. Eventually, the activity will be optional and you’ll be able to pull up that relaxed state of balance and peace on cue. Now that you understand how important it is to adopt the habit of doing an activity you enjoy in order to familiarize yourself with the feeling of relaxation, let’s take a look at some more subtle ways to bring relaxation to surface. Breathe Deep and Yawn If you’re stuck in traffic and the activity that relaxes you is jetskiing, for example, you can’t exactly pull over and walk to the nearest ocean. There may be situations where you simply can’t do that relaxing activity that brings you inner-peace. So, what you can do though is something a bit more subtle. This way, you can trigger your brain into a relaxed state, without relying on performing any sort of elaborate hobby or activity. It’s quite simple too: Breathe deeply and let out a big Yawn (the “Y” in L.A.Z.Y.] Yawning cools your head, literally. It decreases the temperature in your brain. It’s basically a natural way to calm down, to relax yourself and feel at ease. Now of course the ultimate goal is to just sort of “think” yourself into feeling relaxed, but breathing deeply and yawning is an effective yet subtle way to trigger yourself into the habit of doing that. You can also try what’s called EFT “tapping”, which a lot of people absolutely swear by. It’s a lot less subtle than a deep breath or yawn though because you’re physically tapping all over your body. It looks a little weird, but hey, it works. I prefer functionality over appearance, in general, quite personally, so if tappy mctapping can get me to relax, then sure why not? Just in case it’s winter and you can’t pull out the jetski or the Internet’s down and you can’t play online games, EFT tapping can be a great way to activate your brain’s “relaxation mode” when doing your relaxing hobby isn’t available. Now, EFT tapping is probably a whole other topic for a whole other day, but briefly here, you basically “tap” several nerve points on your body and give yourself positive affirmations like “I feel calm and relaxed” as you’re tapping away. So far we’ve dived into what relaxing is and how to go about achieving this relaxing state of mind, so before we wrap up, let’s take a look at some of the benefits of relaxing, which can hopefully encourage you to, ya know, relax, man. Think more clearly There’s a lot of shit in your head. We’ll call it “fog”. When there’s fog outside, you can’t see clearly. Your vision is limited. You can only see within a certain distance. Likewise, this “fog” in your head prevents you from seeing things clearly. You can only focus on what’s right in front of you and not see out in the distance. Your entire perspective is skewed. Relaxing clears away this fog and gets you to see the big picture. It allows you to perceive more than the shit right in front of you and look beyond it. Have a healthier body and happier mind. Worrying too much, that is, giving into stress, can have some serious side effects, like heart failure, high blood pressure, and insomnia -- to name just a few. Likewise, under stress, you’re constantly tensing up your muscles and this leads to chronic pain. People with high stress levels are more likely to have some sort of mental illness, including depression and dementia. The symptoms only get worse over time, because you begin to worry about having this major physical and/or mental health issue, which only further increases your stress levels. You’ll die to stress before whatever health problem you have would kill you. Stress is also linked to forgetfulness and irritability. So unless you want to grow up to be a grouchy curmudgeon that can’t remember a damn thing, you gotta relax, man. It’s amazing how much the mind effects the body. If you feel okay inside, then you’ll be okay on the outside. If you feel bad on the inside, by worrying all the time, then your body will follow suit and begin to break down. Breaking down on the inside will break you down on the outside too. On the contrary, if your outside world breaks down, if there’s a total collapse, you can remain strong, stoic, and relaxed on the inside. The world can’t break you, but you can break yourself. Realize the power you have in being able to reach a relaxed state of mind. Think about it, if ruminating over bad thoughts and feelings, stressing out, can have such a negative impact on your body and lead to a slew of illnesses, imagine what positive thoughts can do. They can make you stronger, build you up. I mean either way, I suppose the end is the same. Death is inevitable. But in your last moments, you can either think to yourself “I was worried the whole time” or “I enjoyed the ride while it lasted.” Take it easy, N8
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We live in a very success-driven culture that encourages working hard for the sake of working hard and doing things just to “do it.” It’s believed you must be a Jack of Trades, able to tackle multiple tasks at once in order to amount to anything.
HR departments expect some form of “multi-task skill” to be written on every single resume. Bosses will yell at you that you aren’t doing enough if you aren’t bouncing around and juggling a series of over a dozen different tasks all at once. There’s an immense amount of pressure to not just perform well, but to perform a lot - to do as much as humanly possible and then some. But, fellow procrastin8r I want to run you by an idea that doing a lot simultaneously is not very effective, despite the popular belief. It’s actually a waste of energy to multi-task. It’s better to be lazy and put off most things ‘til later and focus on just one thing right now than to force yourself to do an incredible amount right away. I mean, heck, you can push to fill your to-do list, you can attempt to squeeze as many errands as you can in your schedule, you can quite frankly work your freaking ass off, but none of that really matters if at the end of the day you aren’t really productive and not to mention are left feeling exhausted both physically and mentally. In a frivolous attempt to do everything you wind up doing nothing. You deplete yourself of energy and end up accomplishing diddly squat in your efforts to achieve many grand feats. Don’t exert yourself to do everything, just do something, do a little bit, do just enough, but do that something with focus. Don’t stretch yourself thin over a wide range of things, rather pinpoint on a small and narrow target. Focus your energy and efforts towards a very small target and don’t shoot sporadically. See, there’s a difference between productivity and busy work. There’s this idea in society that you must always be busy. Move around. Do this. Do that. Do something. Be busy for the sake of being busy. But man, it’s okay to just relax once in a while, to just chill from time to time. It’s okay to not be that busy. There’s no need to strain yourself and look busy just because that’s what society expects of you. Besides, I bet not many of these quote on quote “busy” people really get much done, ironically. Sure, they work a lot but they’re really too “busy” to actually make things happen. They’re mind is all over the place and they wind up losing track of the goal they wanted to get in the first place. They’re distracted easily and are quickly tempted to start another project or head off on some side quest, completely negating the main storyline quest, or goal for that matter. What they lack is focus. Focus, in short, is the ability to hone in on one or a few things. Now, the procrastin8r doesn’t do much, but when he does actually get off the couch to do something, it’s done with complete and utter focus. After all, no sense in exerting more effort than necessary. Focus is important when it comes to achieving your goals, and as you’ll soon learn, a vital attribute of a true lazy man. In fact, rather than aim to be busy, you should instead aim to be productive. Only work as much as you absolutely have to. Learn to prioritize, that is, focus on what’s important, over what makes you look busy. And prioritizing comes down to your ability to procrastinate, and know which things to put off ‘til later. By procrastinating one thing, you are in turn choosing to do something else right now. You must learn to procrastinate with purpose and focus on doing those important things now, while putting off the not so important things for later. Indeed, you can ignore most of your to-do list, write it off as unimportant, and focus on the few things that actually freaking matter. There’s very little that needs to be done immediately, and the things that do, well, you just gotta focus on them. Today, we’re going to focus on focusing and without further ado let’s dive...right into it! Not everything needs urgency to get done One of the things that hinders our ability to focus is that we see our to-do list only as a list of things that must be done, just that, without any sort of order or prioritization. There’s only one level of priority: GET IT DONE! With that sort of mindset, we become overwhelmed by the sheer amount of shit that we must complete. If we have this sort of black or white (do it or don’t do it) mode of thinking, you have no way of differentiating between what’s actually important and what’s something that would be nice to have not done, but not quite essential. In order to gain more focus, you have to be willing to take an honest look at your to-do list and put aside things that don’t matter very much (procrastinate on them), so you can put the time and effort into those things that do. You can’t give everything you have to do the same level of importance. You have to be selective about your to-do list. Don’t look at your to do list saying “I have to do this and this and this…” Instead, give each task a number mark 1-10, 1 being not very important and 10 being top priority. Then, anything below maybe a seven, just say the classic procrastin8r line “I’’ll do it tomorrow.” Realistically, not everything you have to do requires such utter urgency to get it done immediately. Stop pressuring yourself to do it all, all at once, and instead get done only the most important tasks. The rest can be done...later. Say NO to MOST things Speaking of being selective, one important note here is that ya gotta stop being a YES man. You’ve got to select what you say “Yes” to very carefully. We’ve adapted this sort of habit of enthusiastically agreeing to do things without hesitation, nodding our heads and saying “Sign me up!” the minute something is asked of us. After all, saying yes to a bunch of things makes us look busy and looking busy is cool in society, it’s the bees knees. Look, you’ve got to stop doing things to people please or otherwise gain a bit of social approval. You’ve got to start doing things that YOU, yourself, find to be important, not what others expect of you. You gotta stop saying “Yes, I’ll do that today” and start saying “No, I’ll do that tomorrow” more often. Embrace your inner sloth, man. “No” is an important word to add to your vocabulary, one you’ve probably found yourself rarely saying if at all. It takes courage to say “no”. It takes confidence. Weak people can’t say no. They’re always agreeing and saying yes to anything and everything. They value approval over their own self dignity, inner-peace, and sanity. “No” is a power word, and when you use it, and you’re firm about it, people will respect you. Now you may not make them happy that you’re denying their request, but respect is better to earn that adoration. Now, of course, you’re going to have to say YES to some things. Fact of the matter is, you can’t say NO to everything either. By saying NO to one thing, you are in turn saying YES to another. In other words, by choosing what NOT to focus on, you are choosing what TO focus on. Don’t be afraid to use the word NO, and if you’re using it right, quite frankly, you’ll be using it a lot. The right way to use NO is to focus on the one thing that you say YES to and say NO to everything else. Measure Results Now of course, what laziness is and what laziness does is minimize effort and maximize results. Thing is, you won’t be able to see said results if you aren’t keeping track of them. You have to in some fashion see your progress being made, as it allows you to focus on moving forward, instead of remaining stagnant. Face it, if you don’t think you’re going anywhere, then you won’t feel inspired very much to continue even trying. You have to notice each slow n’ steady step you take. Now, I know it might not necessarily be under your current motivation to keep a journal or achievement diary. Fortunately for you, there are plenty of apps to help you gamify that whole process, which we covered in an earlier episode on the podcast. You can basically turn productivity into an IRL RPG and “level up” your real life skills. However you go about doing it though, record how far you’ve come -- that will allow you to focus on going even further. See the slow n’ steady progress, not just the end result Bouncing off that last point, oftentimes we can become so fixated with the final result that we fail to see what we’ve already accomplished along the way towards that goal. Success takes time. It doesn’t happen quickly. It happens...eventually, the favorite word of a procrastin8r. It’s easy to lose focus on a goal when you’re so attentive towards the finish line and not the race itself. If all you’re thinking about is your goal weight, your goal wealth, your goal whatever, then you’e going to constantly feel like a failure because fact of the matter is you just aren’t quite there yet. You’re a failure if you compare where you’re at to where you want to be, but you’re a success if you compare where you’re at to where you began. Now, to clarify, I’m not saying don’t think about your goal at all.It’s indeed important to keep your goal in mind, to look forward to the end result. I’m saying don’t let the fact that you haven’t met your end goal yet wear you down. You’re not there...yet. But will be eventually. Don’t just look at how far away your goal is. Look too at just how far you came since you started. And remember, the progress you’ve made so far (or lack thereof) does not define who you are, rather it tells you where you are at. View your goals as more of a long timeline with multiple ticks along the way, not just a straight line form Point A to Point B. Think small and simple. Break down big complex goals into chunks If you make a big goal like write a novel or start a podcast or record an original song, then you’re going to be quite overwhelmed with the amount of intricacies involved with such a goal. It’ll sit on your to-do list, never checked off because it just hasn’t gotten done yet. Either you haven’t even started it or you have but haven’t completed it. Either way, it seems nearly impossible to check off your to-do list. Of course if you haven’t started that big goal, it’s probably because you’ve made it too enormous for yourself, and the sheer amount of stress you feel when you even think about it is enough to sabotage any motivation you might have had that day. You don’t want to make big ass goals. Make tiny ones, tiny little goals that are easily achievable. Take it easy with your goals, man. Using the novel example, you could make the goal “Write one chapter as a first draft.” See? Nice and simple. Now you don’t feel so overwhelmed to write an entire book, complete final draft, fully edited and published all in one go. You completed a tiny goal (writing a rough drafft of single chapter) that took a chunk out of a big goal (writing a full novel) You take that big goal and you chunk it down into bits. There’s an amusing little anecdote that’s relevant here and it goes “How do you eat a whole elephant? One bite at a time.” It’s kind of a corny little joke, but it gets the point across: even the most massive tasks can be done eventually if you break it down into small consumable “bites”. Procrastinate with Purpose Part of knowing how to focus is also knowing how and when to procrastinate. Procrastination is often seen as the bane of all productivity, but in reality, procrastination is the heart of time management. Think about it, by scheduling to do one thing in your day, you are, in turn, procrastinating another. Fact of the matter is, you are always procrastinating on something. You can procrastinate doing your homework to play video games or vice versa. You can procrastinate brushing your teeth to watch one more episode on Netflix or vice versa. You are always choosing something to put off ‘til later. If you can procrastinate with purpose, then you can effectively manage your time. Of course, procrastination is not to be confused with Impulsive Idleness. Impulsive Idleness is being completely spontaneous with your time. It’s giving into your laziness in an uncontrolled manner. Procrastination is deliberately deciding what to put off ‘til later. Focus on what you want to do and procrastinate the rest. Don’t be Reactive. Remain Unfazed. You’ve gotta stay cool, calm, and laid back at all times. Emotions can impact us. And while it’s important to be aware of your emotions, there’s a fine line between having emotional awareness and getting emotional. Getting emotional means you give into your emotions and let them control you. Having emotional awareness means you listen to your emotions but don’t let them drive you into making irrational decisions. Know what your emotions are telling you, but don’t allow them to be the final judge in your decision-making process. Just like a kid screaming in the backseat, don’t let them take the wheel! In order to stay focused, you have to look at your feelings from an above perspective. Don’t get caught up in them. Being unfazed means you're not shaken easily by any sort of excitement or sadness or anger. Instead, you’re just like “whatever, man”. You must be able to examine your thoughts and feelings without growing too attached to them. Maybe you have a goal of building a healthy long-lasting relationship, but wind up screaming at your partner because you feel angry and are thinking about how s/he hurt you. Maybe you have the goal of losing weight but go ahead and splurge on pigs in a blanket because you feel excited at a party. You get the idea. Emotions can make you lose focus easily if you’re not careful about them. And that’s the key - careful. Do care for your emotions. Just don’t let them choose what you do. Letting your emotions take over is being reactive. You’re impulsively acting on your fee fees. A procrastin8r is never reactive. A procrastin8r is relaxing. Get plenty of Rest Ah, of course,the greatest talent of a procrastin8r - resting. But seriously, you can’t focus if you’re tired physically, mentally, and/or emotionally. Exhaustion is the worst distraction. You can’t ignore it. It doesn’t go away, well, at least not until you actually lie down for a bit. Truly, embrace your inner-sloth and snooze until you feel rejuvenated. Don’t let any sort of fatigue make you lose focus. And hey, you know what, if you want to see your dreams, then just go to sleep. Do Less with More Focus The overall point here I’m trying to make is that contrary to popular belief, success comes not from doing more, but from doing less with more focus. Be a minimalist. Minimize the amount of “things” you do. Be a procrastin8r. Do just enough. Fixate yourself on the goals and principles that actually matter to you personally and don’t go around making yourself busy just to appease others (or have the image of always appearing busy for that matter). Be willing to put off unimportant things ‘til later. Find your one goal you say YES to and then say NO to everything else. Break down that big goal into nice bite-sized snacks, then move forward with it slow n’ steady, watching how far you go. And if you need time to think about what that goal even is and where you want to be headed, well, go ahead and sleep on it. Take it easy, N8 Hobbies are fun. They’re almost like little getaways that give you a break from life, providing you a place of entertainment and relaxation. A hobby is a solid source to feel laid back and calm down after a stressful day.
Now what exactly constitutes a hobby? Well, I’d say just about any activity that puts you “in the zone” so to speak. It’s, put simply, a hobby is something you do that brings you peace of mind. Peace of mind is definitely something you want to achieve on cue, being able to have a go-to activity that soothes the stress within your head is a great tool to have as a lazy person. After all, taking your mind off things is a great way to not get worked up about them and getting worked up at the end of the day is really just extra “work”, as I often say. There are a wide range of hobbies from doing yoga, to spinning fire poi, to growing mushrooms, to crocheting designs of famous celebrities, the list goes on and on. Some are unique, some quite bizarre, but all of them have one thing in common: the ability to relax you. Now of course, what I find to be relaxing, might be boring or frustrating to you and vice versa. One man’s hobby is another man’s labor. Labor of course meaning a strain to do. I, for example would find it a strain and quite labor intensive to knit something, but others may find that to be one of the most joyful experiences life has to offer. Now you might think that you’re too lazy to spend time on a hobby and practicing whatever craft it is. You barely want to get out of bed to do *anything* yet alone some form of hobby. But I assure you, there’s a hobby even for the lazy man, like yoga, which is basically just stretching and meditation which is essentially sitting there doing nothing and even playing video games, which of course is all about sitting on the couch and staring at a screen with a controller in hand. You’re never too lazy to have a hobby. In fact, some may argue that hobbies can be the cause of laziness (you procrastinate work in order to play guitar, for example). Your hobby may just well be the exact *reason* as to why you are lazy in the first place. You put off doing something productive in order to do what you enjoy (a la your hobby) instead. But ya know what? There’s admiration in that. Doing what you want to do over what you’re *supposed* to do is quite admirable.. It means you choose desire over obligation. And living a life of obligation is a prison. Set yourself free. Do what you want. Play your own hobbies Anyway, look, it’s important, as a procrastin8r to find a hobby, whatever it is. It’s a way to abide, to just enjoy the thing you’re doing and what’s happening in the moment. For the Dude, it’s bowling. For you, well be your own dude and find your own hobby. Today, we’re gonna take a look at why finding a hobby and practicing it is the lazy way and without further ado, let’s dive...right into it. Pick a Hobby. Just Pick One. If you don’t have a hobby or way to spend your free time, well, man, I don’t know what to tell you. Just look around. I mean, there are plenty of hobbies to choose from. You could probably write up a whole textbook on the sheer amount of hobbies that exist. Heck, there are things like competitive duck herding and extreme ironing. (No really, I can’t make this shit up). Yeah, hobbies can get quite niche. Point is, there is something out there that suits your interest. Guarantee it. There are more friggin hobbies than the amount of Pokedex entries now, which is at least a couple hundred. Sheesh. Just like there’s a Pokemon that suits your style, so too is there a hobby that’s right up your alley. What that is, well that’s for you to discover. Sure you have more popular hobbies like golfing or coin collecting, which might just make you yawn at the very thought of participating in them. But maybe you’ll find more fancy in something like beetle fighting (yes, literally having insights battle it out in small arenas, probably the closest to IRL pokemon you can get), or even quidditch (indeed that Harry Potter fantasy game on broomsticks -- there’s a “muggle” version, complete with leagues and tournaments), maybe you’ll find a thrill in News Raiding, which is much like photobombing except you specifically jump in on live news reports as a bystander. I don’t really have the time, nor the work ethic(I’m too lazy) to go on and on about all these peculiar hobbies, but the point I’m trying to get across to you, is there are a plethora of hobbies in existence and quite frankly, if it doesn’t exist, no one’s stopping you from spray painting sets of tweezers and picking your nose with them and calling it a hobby “spricking” (lol). Okay, you get the point. There are a plethora of options when it comes to picking a hobby. So, in the case that you can’t find one, it’s not a matter of you not being interested in anything, it’s matter of you just not finding that interest. Besides, like I said, you can literally just create a hobby out of whatever the fuck you like doing. Just as long as you know, it’s not severing people’s toes or some shit. Try not to be *too* sadistic in your hobby. Did I really just write that? I mean I don’t think I have to, but ya know. Just to clarify is all. Anyway, now that we got the fact you shouldn’t harm anyone in your hobby out of the way, let’s take a closer look at just how to go about finding a hobby that's fit for you. Just Try It. Simple. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it. Go ahead and just try a hobby or two. Worst case scenario, literally the worst thing that happens is you decide you don’t like it. And guess what? You never have to do it again. Done. Over. Fin. Go try skiing or kettle cooking or juggling. Try a new hobby. If ya ain’t a fan, it’s not something you have to stick with or ever do again. Just try something else until it *clicks* and you’re like “yeah, this is it. This is what I enjoy doing.” You could try a hundred different things before you find one that’s *just right* but hey, at least you get a story out of the ones you don’t ike, like “ ah remember that time I tried octopus fishing.” or something Plus, you can share that experience with those that are hobbyists in that particular field. It’s a way to build connection and rapport with others IRL experience is the best “xp” you can get. Speaking of experience... You Don’t Have to Be Talented. There’s this false notion that in order to have something as a hobby you have to have a particular expertise with it. You have to be skilled, adept, or otherwise talented in order to partake in the hobby. But man, ya ain’t gotta worry about that shit. There’s no pressure to be good at your hobby, just as long as you like doing it. That’s the important thing. Liking what you do. You may not be the best or the brightest, but that’s not really important, contrary to popular belief. As a matter of fact, you don’t have to reach a certain skill level or be able to achieve a certain feat. If you play drums, so what if you can’t smash a solo like John Bonham? Just enjoy bangin on your drum all day. If you like to run, ya ain’t gotta be an Olympic gold medalist to go for a nice jog. If you take up magic as a hobby, you don’t have to have the perfect sleight of hand or disappear like Houdini. You get the gist. Just savor the moment you spend in your hobby and don’t be so hard pressed to accomplish a certain status quo with it. Talent should not be confused with hobby. Those are two different things entirely. Certainly you can be talented at your hobby, but you don’t need a whole lot of talent to consider yourself hobbyist. Remember, a hobby shouldn’t be a chore or any sort of obligation. Don’t strive to achieve this big accomplishment within your hobby *unless* it’s something you’d actually enjoy and take pride in doing. Not every martial artist needs to be a black belt, ya dig? Besides maybe there’s some black belts out there that don’t even like martial arts, maybe they earned it just for the sake of the achievement alone and hold really no interest in karate chopping beyond that. Go for the enjoyment of the activity/hobby itself and not any sort of status or achievement it can bring about. Realize There’s a Difference Between Being Bad at Something and Being New. Now that it’s said that you don’t have to be talented, realize that the more you practice the hobby, the better at it you’re going to get. There’s just a natural progression happening. Slowly. Over time. When you first start a hobby, whatever it is, you are going to suck at it. Straight up. You are going to suck at something you just started doing. Facts. And facts are harsh. I mean, maybe you could be some child prodigy and have a natural talent for something, but for most of us scrubs, we’re not given such godly blessings and are left with following the old school method of improving ourselves over a long period of time. Of course, you may very well go ahead and try something. You’ll embarrass yourself dropping balls as you try to juggle or make annoying buzz sounds when you try to strum guitar. At that point, at the point of failure, you may be tempted to call it quits, because you’re left with the impression that you’re just no good at it. You have to realize though, that you’re a beginner at doing the thing. You’re straight up a NOOB, if you will. It’s not that you’re inherently bad at it, you just don’t have as much experience as a “veteran player.” You’re new to the game. You’re learning. That’s all. You’re educating yourself on the ins and outs of what the hobby has to offer. You may not even have the basics down when you first start, but that’s okay. You’ll get better...eventually. Have patience, the heart of procrastination. After all, both patience & procrastination are all about waiting ‘til later. Now it’s one thing if you simply don’t like it, but you gotta take a look at WHY you don’t like it. I mean, if you don’t like it because you’re not good at it, even though you just started the hobby, that’s really no reason to say you don’t like it. What you don’t like is being under skilled compared to others. And right there, you’re comparing. Stop comparing. Just focus on what you *can* do and focus on enjoying what you do. If you don’t like it because it’s not something you ever see yourself enjoying, no matter how good you get at it, well then that’s a cause for quitting. But never give up something because you feel you aren’t adequate enough. You’ll become adequate and maybe even quite adept in due time. Imagine if you had the skill, knowledge, and expertise it takes to master your hobby, do you see yourself having a good time? If the answer is YES, then stick with it. Procrastinate with it. You’ll get there...later. Don’t be embarrassed about being a noob. Even masters of the craft had to start somewhere. Rare is the child prodigy, let’s be honest. Embrace being an idiot when it comes to picking up a new hobby. You ain’t gonna know shit about what you’re doing, but that’s okay. No one did when they first started. Don’t feel discouraged if you don’t “get it” right away. Plus, most people in the hobby would love to share their knowledge and expertise with you. They'd love to show some noob, like you, the ropes. Take your time to slowly, but surely improve yourself in your given hobby over time. Do It Cause You Like It, Not Because Others Approve of It. You spend all your free time sittin’ around playing video games or reading comic books and are told to “go find a *real* hobby.” Quit being a nerd! Go outside and go for a hike. Be a man and play football. You know, those sorts of things. Look, the hobby you enjoy doesn’t need a seal of approval from others. So what if they look down on it? You know what they say, those who look down on others really look down on themselves. It’s all projection. If someone can’t approve of your hobby it means they truly just have a hard time approving themselves. They’re insecure. Don’t stoop down to their level and let their harsh words or criticisms get to you. Just do your own thing and abide, regardless of what anyone else tells you. Besides, even if you pick up one of those “cool” hobbies like mountain biking or parkour or some shit, you’re gonna have people who disapprove of that too and tell you it’s lame or stupid. Doesn’t matter what you do, some people are gonna hate it. Just accept it. I mean, people are always going to judge you no matter what and you can’t stop them from doing so. Choosing your hobbies just to satisfy the expectations or interests of others serves you no purpose. Live your own purpose, not a purpose designed by others, for others. If you find yourself getting caught up in the critical judgments of others for participating in your specific hobby (like making you feel like a loser virgin for cosplaying), focus more on how good the hobby makes you feel, instead of how bad the judgements make you feel. Don’t think about what others think, man. It’s better to do thing you like with people that also like it than to do something you secretly hate just to win over some approval. Forget Passion. Passion is bullshit. You don’t have to necessarily turn your hobby into a passion. While that’s all well and good, it’s not a requirement in the books, nor should you read it as such. It’s completely possible to have a hobby and just make it something you enjoy, no need to turn it into an elaborate side hustle or anything. I know, shocker, huh? We’re led to believe that if you’re not making your hobby into *something*, than it’s really just a waste of time. But man, not everything in your life needs to be an act of productivity. You can actually take it easy once in a while and simply...enjoy. Period. Just totally revel in how awesome of a time you’re having, without feeling the need to make anything more of it. When you do your hobby, do it for Leisure (The big L in L.A.Z.Y.) Do it because it brings you joy. Nothing beyond that. Just simply have a good time doing your hobby. That’s all. Don’t feel the obligation to make it this big ass thing or passion project. Finding a hobby means finding a way to have a good time. It means finding a way to embrace your Leisure. Give yourself Leisure for once, not another commitment in your long list of duties that already exist. Allow your hobby to give you peace of mind and not another stress to worry about. Take it easy, N8 Shit happens.
Life sucks sometimes. It ain’t always an easy, breezy walk in the park. Shit happens You may be faced with stress. You may experience trauma. You may even get hit with a series of unfortunate events or find yourself wrapped up in “worst case scenario” Whether you just lost someone close to you, had to replace a tire after running over a nail in the road, missed your best friend’s wedding because you were too sick to get out of bed, there’s no doubt life can throw shit at us sometimes. But no matter what misfortune you’re facing, no matter how “bad” it gets, you gotta take the attitude of “it’s all good.” Easier said than done though, right? I mean saying it’s all good doesn’t just magically turn everything that’s bad in your life into happy, happy joy joy. Problems don’t disappear the moment you utter the words “it’s all good.” And c’mon, Nate, you even said that telling the truth is the one thing you should NOT procrastinate on. Saying it’s all “good”, when it’s absolutely TERRIBLE, seems like a flat out lie, don’t it? Well, fellow procrastin8r, I suppose in a way pretending things are good when they really aren’t is indeed lying to yourself. But when I suggest saying “it’s all good,” I don’t mean to force yourself to become oblivious to the fact that problems exist nor am I saying you should ignore the misfortunes you face. What I am saying though is that you want to be able to see the good in any situation despite how bad shit hits the fan. Despite. Key word. Yes, you do indeed want to be honest to yourself and accept the dreadful mishaps you’re undergoing right now, but you are good, you are fine, you are okay despite that shit. Acceptance is really what it’s all about. You may not be able to choose exactly what happens to you, but you do get to make the choice on whether or not to actually accept it. You can try to deny it, try to wish it were different, worry about how things aren’t the way you want it to be, but all that does is stifle your ability to cope; it really doesn’t accomplish anything. No sense living in denial or wishful thinking. Aim for acceptance. Of course, accepting something doesn’t necessarily mean you like it or agree with it. No. What it means is that, well, “it’s all good” despite everything else (all the bad). In other words, while things can be quite upsetting, and frankly unwanted, they don’t completely annihilate your wellbeing overall. “It’s all good” is meant to express that “even though” things are pretty rough, you don’t let it defeat you or bother you at all.for that matter. You’re able to shrug it off like it’s no big deal and remain positive despite the negativity. You stay cool, calm, and laid back even in the most traumatic moments. Certainly, you’re not overly optimistic about it. After all, a piece of shit with glitter is still shit, just a bit more sparkly. Rather, you just accept that it is what it is. And you know what it is? It’s all good! Today, we’re gonna take a look at how to adapt this attitude of “it’s all good,” so you can keep on abiding and not let troubles wear you down. Don’t sweat it. As a lazy man (or woman), you don’t like to work. So naturally, you should avoid getting “worked” up about anything. After all, that’s just extra work, man. The first step to keeping a positive attitude and saying “it’s all good” is to not worry about shit. Stressing out and getting all sweaty over even the most minor inconveniences makes it that much harder to deal with. Worrying does nothing to solve the problem and only makes the burden heavier to bear. Maybe you got a parking ticket. Maybe you forgot to put on a belt this morning and are walking around all day pulling up your pants. Maybe you got ghosted by your Tinder date. Sure, it sucks. But ruminating over why it sucks and how much it sucks makes it a lot more work than it ever needs to be. Take a chill pill, or at least a deep breath. “Don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s all small stuff,” as the cliche goes. But seriously, don’t cry about being stabbed by a large wooden stake, when you just got a tiny splinter. Making a big deal about things, and getting sweaty over it, just makes matters worse, and not to mention, it doesn’t do anything to actually solve the issue at hand. You can run your mouth off ranting and raving about how utterly terrible things are, but that doesn’t actually put you any closer towards finding a solution. No need to be so dramatic, man. Make your life a drama -free zone, including in your own head. So, in sum, the first step towards saying “it’s all good” is to say “it ain’t that bad.” Take it Slow. We live in the age of instant gratification. Want to find a date? Swipe right! Want social approval? Post a selfie! Hungry and want food delivered? Click open an app. Want a ride to anywhere on Earth? Order a personal taxi on your phone. Want a new toy or gadget? You’re a few clicks away from getting it delivered within two days to your food. Because nearly everything is so easily accessible, we’ve adopted this mindset that we can pretty much get whatever we want instantly. No wait lines. No delays. Just get it NOW. But that’s just not the reality. I mean, we’ve been quite spoiled with the way technology works and can basically say to us “Oh is that what you want? Here, have it! RIGHT NOW!” Fact of the matter is, you can’t get happiness shipped overnight. (Although you can get a moon bounce shipped overnight, and that could be defined as happiness.) Look, good things take time. Thus, adapting the mindset of “it’s all good” takes time. Rather than give into the temptation to expect things to happen immediately, instead embrace your inner sloth and say eventually. Eventually it’ll sort itself out. Eventually things will get better. Don’t expect all your problems to disappear right away. “It’s all good” is hope for a brighter tomorrow, a better future. It may be later, much later, before your situation improves, but things won’t always be bad which leads us to the next point… Don’t see bad things as permanent You may think you are “never” going to have enough money and are “always” going to be poor. You may think you are “never” going to find a partner and are “always” going to be alone. We tend to lock ourselves in a sort of mental prison instead of looking at the bigger picture and seeing the slow n’ steady change. It’s either, or black or white. We’re colorblind to the shades of grey, vision-less to progress being made. Always and never are affirmations, a topic we covered in-depth earlier. Whatever you state after the word “always” or “never”,becomes a hard definition. You essentially say “this is the truth”. And because you believe it’s the truth, it becomes the truth. If you say you’ll never be fit, then you’ll stay fat. If you say you’ll always be a low life loser, then you won’t achieve very much. You must remove your “permanence” mode of thinking and shift to one of change, one that sees change and looks forward to it. Even if the bad circumstances are rather consistent, that doesn’t mean they are unmoving, unchanging. It just means they’re bad right now. But ya know what, fellow procrastin8r? The future is unwritten. You can always wait ’til later for things to improve. Nothing is set in stone. Things can always turn (for the better, not always for the worse). Don’t allow your belief in “never” and “always” prevent you from seeing that. Be grateful for what you DO have (and don’t worry about what you don’t have) Oftentimes, we get so wrapped up in things we DON’T have that we fail to notice, yet alone actually appreciate the things we do have. We’re so focused on how things could be better, things we don’t have that could make it better, and tend to ignore how “it’s all good” already. We look at what’s missing in our life and not what’s right here, right now. You get mad that your phone battery dies, but don’t appreciate the fact that you have the resources to own a phone in the first place. You get upset when your Amazon package arrives a little later than scheduled, but don’t appreciate the convenience you have of being able to order products from the comforts of your home, whether it's on time or not. You get pissed that your neighbor took your parking spot, but forgot about the time he mowed your lawn or put aside the fact that you even get the luxury of driving around to begin with. There are so many things in your life that you can be appreciative for, you just need to look around. Change your perspective. Stop staring at the wall of misfortune and take a gander at the tome of awesomeness. We can be so fixated with what isn’t that we fail to consider what is. As the soundtrack of The Sound of Music plays: “When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I’m feeling sad. I simply remember some of my favorite things. And then I don’t feel so bad.” In other words, saying “it’s all good” is about seeing, actually giving attention towards the good things, despite (that word again) all the bad happenings. Become aware of what you complain about Complaining is addictive. The more you do it, the more you want to do it. Once you complain about one thing, there’s a slew of a dozen more things toc complain about. And chances are you have something (or many somethings) to complain about (that bad shit we’ve been talking about this whole time). But if you wanna lean back and say “it’s all good”, you’ve gotta quit complaining all together. And in order to do that, in order to stop the thing, you have to first and foremost, become aware of what the thing actually is. What is it you complain about? Awareness is key. Knowing what you tend to bitch n’ moan about can help you prevent bitchin’ in the future. I mean you might be in the habit of grumbling off about one thing or another and not even do it consciously. You just create a ranting word vomit without even thinking about it. It just pukes out. Ya gotta think. Think. What do you bitch about, dude? If you can’t figure it out, ask your friends or family what you complain about too much. They’ll tell you. Otherwise, start making mental notes every single time you whine about something. You can even write it down in a journal, save it in your note app on your phone. I don’t care. Just start becoming aware of the negativity you gravitate towards. Once you are mindful of the things you file in your brain’s complaint department, you can then mosey on over to actually cutting that shit. Wake Up on a Positive Note Speaking of notes, an effective way to get in the “it’s all good” mood is to give yourself positive notes or affirmations first thing out of bed. You may wake up in the morning (or probably afternoon -- let’s be real here!), groggy-eyed, achy neck, painful back, and immediately bring all your worries to surface. Instead of setting your worries as an alarm clock, wake yourself up with appreciations and positive affirmations. Whatever time you wake up, start it good. Start it right. Start it by saying “it’s all good” then go back to the list of things you have in your life that you appreciate in the here and now. Don’t live in a fantasy If you ain’t seeing the good in life, you’re being way too hard on yourself, man. You’re holding your standards just way too high. Stop stretching for perfectionism. Ya ain’t perfect. It ain’t gonna happen. The world is full of flaws. Your life included. Remember, acceptance. You have to accept all the imperfections you have. Don’t get swept away in any sort of alluring idealism or fantasy of what you should be and where you could be. Live in the present. Live in the now. Come back to Earth, captain. Back to reality. There’s beauty in it. Sure, it may not be as enchanting as whatever sort of imaginary fairytale you concocted for yourself and believe you should be living, but hey, it’s actually, ya know, real. Don’t bottle up your emotions If you ain’t feeling good, it means you’re probably carrying a huge payload of negative emotions on your back. Man, ya gotta get the shit out once in a while. Vent to a close friend, jam out to some music, play shooters to blow some steam,. I don’t know, something to get the emotion OUT. The more you let it linger and keep it in, the heavier of a burden it becomes. Like a pimple, ya gotta release the “bad stuff” pus out once in a while. Shit’s gross if you just leave it there. It can cause an infection -- infection of your mind. Don’t let emotions build up over time to the point where they can corrupt your judgment and have you making irrational decisions. That’s not to say you ignore your negative emotions completely. Express them but do so creatively, maybe that’s music, maybe that’s art, maybe that’s putting a Lego set together. I don’t know. Point is, there are ways to funnel that emotional energy into something productive, as opposed to destructive and hurtful (to yourself or others). Remember, minimize effort and maximize results. That’s the lazy way. You’re only maximizing effort by holding in emotions and not doing anything about them and well, yielding absolutely no results in return whatsoever. “It’s all good” if you can pour your emotions into an innovative side project or work of art instead of letting them boil over. Adapt to the situation and Go with the Flow Keep floating on. Whatever happens, it’s all part of the ride, bumps and all. It’s not always smooth sailing. Sometimes there are some waterfalls, sometimes just minor rapids. Whatever you come across though in the flow of life, keep in mind, it’s all good. Take it easy, N8 Being lazy means taking it easy and taking it easy means not being too hard on yourself. I mean, if you’re tryna make things easy, you definitely don’t want to do anything *hard*.
And you know makes life hard? Pressure - forcing yourself to do things. That’s right, putting yourself under a constant burden to improve or “get more” in some fashion -- that ain’t easy. It’s a hard thing to regularly berate yourself for being *less than* some ideal or fantasy that you somehow believe you should be, which is often influenced by the “success culture” in which we live in. Success and glory are so strongly sought after to the point where it seems to be tied to your entire worth as a human being in society. If you’re unsuccessful, then you ain’t worth shit, is the societal idealism message we’re sold. But the amount of success you have isn’t equivalent to the amount of worth you are. In fact, happiness is a more worthwhile trait to seek after. You can be the most successful person on the planet, but if you’re unhappy, what good is it really? Sure, you may be idolized in the eyes of others, but at the end of the day, outside approval doesn’t matter if you’re fundamentally miserable with yourself. You gotta stop criticizing, loathing, or otherwise pressuring yourself about things. There’s no reason to turn the heat up. Take a chill pill and stay cool. You gotta be able to lean back and relax, instead of hunching over trying to carry weight on your shoulders. Drop that shit off your back and go lie down, man. After all, no sense in ever putting in more effort than necessary. Truly embrace laziness and remove the habit of pressuring yourself to excel. You don’t need to excel at all, man. Just do enough to get by. No more, no less. Now of course, we’re all faced with pressures in life. If you’re in school, you feel pressure to get good grades. If you’re in a job, you feel pressure to perform well. If you have bills, you feel pressure to pay them on time. You might even feel pressured to reach a certain standard, like “having it all together” or being financially savvy or maybe even being a “good person”. But pressures are nothing but restraints, limiting your potential to grow and actually feel happy. I mean you can’t be happy if you’re always placing a reason why you can’t be happy above your head, like “I won’t be happy until I get married” or “I won’t be happy until I get my dream job” or “I won’t be happy until I own a house or a fancy car.” Pressuring yourself to attain MORE, makes you feel like you have LESS in the present. You fail to appreciate, yet alone even notice, the good you *already* have when you’re constantly pushing yourself “beyond the limit.” Despite whatever you have *already* attained or achieved, no matter how spectacular it may be, it’s NEVER enough. You feel perpetual pressure to get an even bigger, an even grander, an even more impressive feat. Once you have a house, you want an even bigger one, in a fancier neighborhood. Once you have your dream job, you want one that pays even more. Somehow, no matter how tremendous or extraordinary an achievement is, it’s never quite prosperous or favorable enough to say “alright this is good, just the way it is. I like it.” Under pressure, you appreciate the things you DON’T have much more than the things you *already* DO have. You want to be able to appreciate what you have IN THE PRESENT, not long for what you *could have* in the future. Otherwise, you’re not really...living. You’re dreaming. You’re dreaming about a future, which may or may not actually come about. In order to live, and feel what it’s like to be alive, you have to experience and appreciate what’s happening right here, right now, not fantasize about some far off future. Of course, even if you tend to be satisfied with the right here, right now, you’ll be encouraged to push beyond your limits. Look, contrary to popular belief, it’s OKAY to have a limit and not push yourself any further than that. Not everyone can be top dog and you don’t have to strive to be. Just appreciate what you got for what it is. Don’t pressure yourself to upgrade or get any more. The more you fall under pressure, the more it will eat away at your overall level of happiness. You carry around some sort of heavy burden to be something or someone you’re not and you’re left feeling drained. Pressure wears you down, man. Pressure is stressful. It’s a bit of heaviness. It’s one thing to want to improve or better yourself. It’s another to obsess over it, to really beat yourself up about it, to drastically hold yourself accountable for some arbitrary standard that you may or may not personally want to fulfill but either way feel compelled to. Pressure creates a sense of urgency -- that it SHOULD be done, that it MUST be done. But you should never feel “oh so obliged” to pull something off. You must realize you have freedom to live life the way you want to, not the way it is expected of you. Stop shoulding yourself with pressure, damnit! Today, we’re gonna take a look at what pressure is and what pressure does as well as how to put a stop to it so you can relax in your laziness and enjoy an easy breezy life, without the hassle of feeling obligated (or pressured) to do anything. You do what you want...and get away with it! And without further ado, let’s dive...right into it! Why all the pressure? Before we get into the nitty gritty details of how to handle all this pressure, we have to take a look at where it even comes from in the first place. Ya know, where does this pressure stem from anyway? I mean, it certainly isn’t some type of curse spell that just magically makes you feel compelled to do something. There’s some psychological inner workings going on for sure. And understanding what your brain is doing and how it’s thinking while it’s developing this sense of pressure, can help you control it and put a stop to it. Pressure can emerge from several factors, but all of them come down to one main attribute: insecurity. If you are feeling pressure, it means you aren’t confident with who you are and where you’re at RIGHT NOW. You’re insecure about the way you look, how much money you make, your current relationship status, or what have you. You’re basically not self-assured that what you have *in the present* is okay. You don’t feel like you’re good enough. At all. You need “better” - better looks, better money, better relationships. Now, again, wanting better for yourself is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, I’d say wanting better is good. It’s good to want to level up and become a better person. It’s when you make it an obsession, when you believe to yourself that what you have isn’t good enough, that it becomes a bit problematic. There’s a fine line between feeling inspired and feeling pressured. Both of them motivate you to move forward. Whereas inspiration is encouraging, pressure is discouraging. Inspiration comes from a place of desire, while pressure comes from a place of obligation. Inspiration will tell you “If you do this, good things will come about.” Pressure, on the other hand, will tell you “If you DON’T do this, bad things will come about.” Under inspiration, you’ll say “I WANT to do this.” Under pressure you’ll say “I HAVE TO do this.” It’s all about perspective. The main difference between the two is it’s either coming from a place of confidence or a place of insecurity. And as you guessed it, pressure is that place of insecurity. The question is, where does this insecurity come from that’s developing pressure? Well, there are a few key mindsets that come into play. One of them is fear of failure. You’re afraid that you’ll wind up fucking up, so you don’t even make any sort of attempt to begin with. You stop before you even begin. You pressure yourself to do the thing, but wind up not even taking a single step forward because you get anxious just thinking about how bad it could end up if you don’t make it. But mistakes are meh. Forgive the fuck ups. Don’t stifle yourself and your potential just because you might not get it right the first time. Failure isn’t the end. It’s just part of the learning process. Face it, you ain’t gonna succeed on your first try or maybe even your 37th try, but you’ll get there...eventually. Pressuring yourself to rush and get it done right away, without any sort of mistake, serves you no good. Be willing to fuck up and don’t freeze yourself in horror. Relax man, there’s nothing to fear. The next factor that leads to pressure is unrealistic expectations, or perhaps perfectionism. You have in your head that you “should be” at a certain level and that level is quite frankly unattainable. Your goals should be actually possible. Don’t buy into the notion that you have to be perfect. That’s quite a ridiculous standard to strive for. We’re human. We’re flawed. Accept yourself and your own flaws. And don’t pressure yourself to fix them overnight. Be happy with where you’re at. Besides, you can always do it tomorrow. And when you do do it, it ain’t gotta be perfect. No One is Pressuring You, Besides Yourself Now you might think that the pressure comes from something or someone external, like a boss at work, or maybe a wife or husband at home, or friends or people at church. And sure, they may attempt to *influence* you and your way of thinking, but ultimately, the pressure you feel is something YOU create for yourself. Look, you don’t owe nobody nothing. You don’t have to live up to *their* standards or meet *their* expectations. You have to have your own principles, your own set of standards, your own expectations. Stop trying to live up to what others expect of you. Be your own Dude. If you feel like you have to attain a certain status quo, that’s not them, that’s on YOU. You are responsible for pressuring yourself. Nothing anyone says or does should be seen as an obligation just a mere suggestion, a suggestion on what to do. It’s up to you if you decide you want to do it. There’s no pressure to get it done, unless you put yourself under it. Do Just Enough Life is short. Death is inevitable., a morbid thought, perhaps, but it’s the truth. While we’re here, alive, we should enjoy it, live life, actually have fun, not make our life a series of one obligation to the next. There’s this popular idea that you should always do more, achieve more, be more, get more. But that throws you in a perpetual loop of never being satisfied with the way things are. Fact of the matter is, when you get the “more” you’re pining after, you’ll only want “more” again and again. See things the way they are and actually appreciate them. Do just enough to make yourself happy. Contrary to popular belief, LIMIT yourself and don’t stretch beyond your means. You don’t have to make it big or make a name for yourself in any way. Simplify your life and focus on doing things that make you happy, not what makes you rich or famous. Fame and wealth aren’t going to lead you to happiness. They’re just distractions from finding fulfillment. Put in a Half Ass Effort We covered this idea in depth before and I’ll recap here briefly. Do what you can. Do it a little bit. Do it kind of. Do it...half ass. After all, half ass is better than no ass. Value your progress being made and don’t focus so much on the end result. It’s better to exercise for two minutes than zero. It’s better to make one single dollar than none at all. Be proud of how far you’ve come and have faith in how far you can go. One. Step. At a time. Don’t strain yourself and force yourself to put in effort that you don’t have. Put in a half ass effort and feel satisfied in knowing you did your best. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives
March 2022
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