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“Tomorrow” and “Eventually” are two of the favorite words of a procrastin8r. While often these words are said to put something off, they’re more than just an excuse not to do things right now. They are in fact a positive outlook in the future. To procrastinate, is to hold the positive belief that things can and will happen eventually.  See, “eventually” and “tomorrow” set the tone that whatever it is you have the intention to do is in fact possible, some day...later. Definitely not now, but at some point in the future, it’ll happen. And that attitude right there is enough to allow you to achieve your goals...one day. Maybe tomorrow, maybe a few years from now. Who knows? Point is, by procrastinating, you are saying it is possible. You’re just not going to make it happen yet. Key word: yet. It is yet to happen. It is yet to come about. But it can and it will...tomorrow, eventually. That time just hasn’t come yet. What makes a goal impossible to attain is not procrastinating on it or putting it off ‘til later. No. A goal becomes unattainable when you set the notion that it will “never” happen or that things won’t change (for the better) and whatever sort of shit-uation you’re in will “always” be that way. Always and Never. They create permanence. They make things unmoving and unchanging. There is no “yet”. It just won’t happen. Period. The end. Eventually and Tomorrow, on the other hand, move slow n’ steady. Zero to sixty eventually. They open the door to possibility. The future of Tomorrow and Eventually is unwritten, whereas with Always and Never it has a set definition and will remain the same no matter what. Eventually and Tomorrow allow for evolution and progress, while Never and Always keeps you stuck in the same position. It’s better to put off things “until later” than to decide they just won’t “ever” happen at all. In today’s article, we’re going to take a look at why you do the lazy thing and never say never, but always say eventually. We already deep dived into why you should put things off until tomorrow in an earlier article, and I recommend checking that out before diving into this one, because this is going to pretty much expand upon that. And without further ado, let’s dive...riight into it! Never say “always” Always means “at all times”. It’s the word of an inflexible bastard. It’s the vocabulary of a person with a one-track mind, dead set on their ways and fixed in their beliefs. They see something or someone as one way and there’s nothing, absolutely nothing, that can change their mind otherwise. And even if things could change, they refuse to see it that way or wait and let the change happen. “This is how it is and this is how it always will be” is the mindset, unwilling to change, unwilling to adapt. They believe in the fate of “inevitable”. The way things are, inevitable.. “He always ignores my texts” “She always complains.” “They always show up late.” It’s thoughts like these that make it impossible to notice the times (no matter how few and far between) that the contrary rings true. It’s actually quite rare for something to “always” exist about someone or something --- such permanence is not a likely occurrence. Chances are, there are occasions where what you’ve come to expect to “always” happen, simply doesn’t. Maybe he does answer your texts occasionally. Maybe she actually has some upbeat things to say once in a while. Maybe that one party they did show up on time. And sure, maybe the amount of times this occurs is “too much”, but there’s a difference between “too much” and “always” bound to happen no matter what. Show some flexibility in your thinking. Realize that just because one thing is likely to happen or has repeatedly happened in the past (for example, maybe your friend has a consistent reputation of not getting back to you or perhaps your brother or sister has a consistent reputation of getting angry easily), but just because it’s likely to happen doesn’t mean it always will. You must think in procrastinator terms. You must think in terms of “eventually”. Eventually, this person or situation will be different. Eventually things will change and what’s going on now will NOT always be the case. Though something may feel as if it were seemingly going to ALWAYS be that way (eg. I’m always struggling to pay bills), you have to allow yourself to be open to new opportunities and new possibilities. You have ot believe things can change “slow n’ steady” over time and reach the heart of “eventually” coming through the way you see fit. Saying “one day” or “eventually” is being open to any and all possibilities. It’s seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s having faith in tomorrow, despite the mishaps of today. It allows you to see progress. Because let’s face it, any and all progress that is made takes a long ass time to actually come through. Things ain’t gonna change right away. That much is true. But that doesn’t mean it can’t or won’t change. That doesn’t mean you’re stuck in a permanent rut. The rut isn’t always going to be there. If you wait,if you’re patient enough, if you procrastinate with purpose, you’ll be able to see all the changes you want prevail. Things never succeed if you hold the belief that it will always be a failure. You have to believe it can and will triumph eventually. Once you define something a certain way, as in calling it “always” is the case about one thing or another, you make it difficult to see progress being made. And without seeing any progress, you’ll be quick to give up. Don’t give up, you lazy bastard. Keep moving forward up that tree, to the heights of your goal, slowly and surely like a sloth. Just because things are pretty bad now, doesn’t mean they always will be or have to be. Always avoid saying “never” Again, such a word creates permanence. The world, however, is ever-changing and isn’t trapped in the box of “never.” A word like “never” is full of such doubt. It’s doubt in what the future has in store. It’s doubt in possibility. It’s doubt of what ever “could be”. Much like “always”, never is a word used only by some sort of cynical inflexible bastard, unable and perhaps a bit unwilling to see any sort of change or hint of change through progress. See, change is not immediate. It doesn’t barge in through your door. Well, sometimes it does in unpredictable events (the death of a loved one, a car accident, etc), but most change is in fact very, very subtle. It happens slowly over time. Assuring that something will “never” happens blinds you to these subtle changes.It puts a roadblock in front of moving forward, ever steady and ever slowly. When you hold the belief that something will “never” happen, you “never” leave room for it to grow or become any different. There’s no reason to be so set in your ways or point of view that you don’t ever think it could hold any sort of variance or alternative. When it comes to making changes, while holding the mindset of “never”, you’ll subconsciously think “What’s the point?”if it’s never going to happen anyway. If I’m never going to lose weight, what’s the point of trying to exercise and eat healthy? If I’m never going to make it big, then what’s the point of starting my own business? You see how the thought process is limiting? You see how it makes you fail before you even start? You trap yourself in perpetual defeat when you tell yourself “never”. You essentially make it impossible for yourself to ever transform into something new, something better. You lose the game before you even press start. You don’t take the time to “level up” and beat the game eventually. Furthermore, not only do you create your own prison, you also lock away your friends, family, neighbors, and significant other in a box of hard definition of who they are and what they’re about. This makes you unable to see when and if they act any different. If you say, for example, “Oh she never calls me,” you fail to notice when she does. Not doing something frequently enough to be noteworthy is one thing but “never” doing it is another. Instead of calling out the person you care about for “never” washing the dishes or whatever the case may be, notice the times they do do it and compliment them, encourage them. People are more likely to repeat behaviors that they’re rewarded for. Telling them something like “oh you never you do this” or “you never do that” doesn’t inspire them to actually want to go about doing the thing they apparently “never” do. Rather, giving them positive feedback when they (maybe once in a blue moon) do actually do that will motivate them to do it even more. Like “Hey, thanks for calling like you said you would. That’s awesome of you.” instead of “You never call!” is a lot more impactful. The word “never” certainly doesn’t increase the chances of anything actually happening, so never say never. Always and Never create a self-fulfilling prophecy ...especially when it comes to thoughts about yourself “I’m never going to be good enough, smart enough, agile enough”, you’ll think to yourself. Or “I’m always going to be a failure at life” And by doing that, you set the notion that that’s the way it is. You confirm your own negative thoughts for yourself, about yourself, and about the world. Your brain is a machine and will output whatever input you feed it with. If you feed it with shit, you’ll become shit. If you feed with awesomeness, you’ll become awesome. You design your own destiny through the work of affirmations. Weather you know it or not, you’re constantly telling yourself affirmations, that is, you’re constantly programming your machine brain. Never and Always are quite strong affirmation, powerful code for the machine, and affirmations are what define your reality. By saying “never” or “always”, you are setting the premise that what you’re saying is true, without a doubt, no matter what. You are affirming the belief that follows the word “never” or “always” and that, in itself makes it true. Any time you say “always” or “never”, you know what? You’re right. The very act of thinking of thinking in those sort of definitive terms makes them resolute. You do, however, have the power to change your mind, to change your reality, simply by changing the affirmations you tell yourself, and you can start by thinking in more opportunistic terms like “tomorrow” or “eventually”. Build within yourself the belief that things can and will change and stop limiting your potential by using such restricting words. Untie your restraints (of always and tomorrow) and see the beauty in procrastinating ‘til later. But what abouts… But what about saying ““I will ALWAYS love you” But what about saying “I would NEVER kill someone” But what about (BLANK)!? Certainly there are specific situations that call for saying “never” or “always” about it. Never and Always ain’t always bad and you should never say they are! Alright, you caught me. Fair criticism. I agree. There are definitely some particular circumstances where it’s positive, maybe even necessary, to say either “never” or “always.” In general though,it’s not something that needs to be said, nor should it be said. Just like the “S” word (sorry), these words should be used very, very sparingly, almost removed form your dictionary entirely, almost. Never is perhaps a sentiment that it doesn’t happen enough and Always is a sentiment that it happens too much. Either way, things are not so definite in nature. Once you set the premise that something is “always” or “never”, you pretty much close the door on opportunity for change. Procrastinate and wait for “eventually” to happen. There’s plenty of positive change to come….later. Take it easy, N8
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Man, I don’t know about you, but I was never one to get things done ahead of time. I don't like it. That ain’t my style. I put the “nate” in “procrastinate” and I’m certainly a “pro” at what I do.
I never understood the students that would complete homework assignments days or even weeks early. Like dude, what’s the rush? There’s plenty of time to get it done. No sense in booking it to completion. Just chill. At least that has always been my attitude. Like, if it ain’t due yet, no sense even thinking about it, yet alone actually working on it. It’ll get done...eventually. Just not now….later. Like when it’s due. And not anytime before that. I mean thinking back to school projects and papers I had to write, when the teacher assigned us a “due date”, to me that meant “this is when to START it.” Due dates were nothing but a note for me to “do this the night before this date” as opposed to a “work on this project periodically for the next few weeks and have it done by this date.” I would normally pull out at least a B or A, and not to brag, but oftentimes scoring higher grades than my peers who would work on it for weeks on end. I mean I wasn’t the brightest at school, but I wasn’t a total flunk either. I did just enough to get by, and look at me, I graduated with a degree! Woo! I say that not to pat myself on the back but to show you that it’s possible to procrastinate your way through school, through life. Waiting ‘til the last minute gets you places. (Though to be fair, I’m probably not much of a role model, so always take my advice with a grain of salt ) ;p As a procrastin8r, I may wait until the last minute, but damnit, shit gets done! Seriously, I think something’s to be said about waiting ‘til the last minute to do things. Procrastination has its benefits, for sure. Of course, no one really likes to talk about that because they try to brainwash us all into being obedient little corporate slaves, who work nonstop, instead of working just enough to get shit done. But I digress. Anyway, today, I want to talk about how waiting ‘til the last minute is advantageous to do, contrary to popular belief. And if you want to wait to read this whole article later, I get you! Without further ado, let’s dive...right into it! When time is running out, it increases your productivity. It’s the wee hours of the morning, the night before a big project is due and what do you feel? Pressure. Pressure to shell it out. Pressure to get it done. Pressure to complete the task not just a little bit, but complete it in its entirety. I mean why is the pressure there? Look, the stakes are high. You waited ‘til the last minute and now it’s all or nothing. You either get it done or you don’t. If you get it done, congratulations! You procrastinated your way to victory. If you don’t get it done, well, you’re just gonna have to face whatever sort of consequences come about for not completing it on time (which to be fair, may be worth facing and may be worth deciding to turn it in late anyway). But let’s say you decide you do want to actually get it done ON TIME. I mean, certainly, you could try to get as much as you can done (not fully complete), but knowing the fact you have to make it look like this is something you’ve been working on periodically over the past couple weeks, you’ll feel the pressure to do a good darn job, a finished job. Pressure is a form of motivation. It’s a bit of an adrenaline rush. Like “speedrunning” in a video game, you’re challenging your skills to not only “complete the level” but also do it as quickly and efficiently as possible. There’s little room for error, since messing up sets you back that much further and since you’re doing it last minute, there’s not really much time to go back and fix shit. You have to get it and you have to get it right in one go. Although even if you do fuck up a bit, you’ll not let it stop you, but we’ll cover that in a bit. You have the pressure to get it right the first time. There’s no first or second draft. It’s just FINAL draft, baby! We skip all the foreplay and jump straight to the final version, by waiting until last minute. In a way, you become inspired to really nail it and not dilly dally or puts around. You did all the procrastinating you could (up until the last minute) and it’s time to make it or break it. Use the pressure you feel to your advantage. Let it inspire you to perform well and race to get it done in the nick of time. Besides, you should have enough energy by now after relaxing and putting it off for so long. It’s your time to shine. Our brains work more efficiently when we’re set to believe that a resource is limited. In this case, time being quite a limited resource, you’ll be efficient as ever, striving to accomplish what needs to be done within the minimal time frame you’ve allowed yourself to have. You’ll practice the art of thriftiness, spending what little time you do have on the most efficient and forward-moving tasks possible. Waiting ‘til the last minute forces you to focus If the clock is ticking, and time is running out to get things done, you can’t be distracted by anything. You’ve got to be fully focused on the task at hand. You ain’t got time to spare! When you go into a task with the mindset that “oh this really isn’t due for a while”, you make it easy for yourself to get distracted and do something completely off-task. You’ll wind up binge-watching videos on YouTube, playing a few rounds on Overwatch, or maybe just browsing reddit for hours. After all, you figure, there’s absolutely no pressure to actually do it now However, if you go in knowing this is your absolute LAST CHANCE to save yourself from failing the project or turning it in on time for that matter, you’ll be more likely to focus on getting it done than allowing any sort of distraction to catch your attention. You won’t do any “side quests” or chores or other things that don’t hold much priority on your to-do list When you procrastinate and put something off for a while, and then it’s finally time to actually sit on down and do it, you sort of get “in the zone” because you’ll be pretty “psyched up” for it. You tell yourself “it’s go time” and there’s no holding back. You’ll avoid veering off course of your goal, once you actually get down to it that is. Sure, it might take ya a long ass while to get to that point (like err, last minute before the thing’s due), but once you hit that sweet spot, you’ll be tackling your goal full focus. You’ll put aside the excuses and actually do the thing you said you were gonna do “eventually”. “Eventually” is here and it’s go time baby! So make it happen. Creativity comes at the last minute As the clock ticks down, moments before your deadline, you kick your problem-solving into high gear and will manage to think of creative solutions (or content) that you otherwise wouldn’t have thought of. See, because over the course of putting off the thing you have a deadline for, you’re not just completely oblivious to the fact that the due date is coming up. You are, in fact, very, very much aware of when it must be done. And this is the absolute key to building that creative energy. Creative energy builds up over time and the more time you wait, the more creative energy you’ll have stored to unleash. You’ll be thinking to yourself “Okay that’s gotta get done then and there.” Then go take a nap or some shit. You’ll put it off even further, continually telling yourself, once again, something along the lines of “That due date is coming up”, as you binge-watch an entire season or two of your favorite show. And by the time that due date comes around, you’ll be ready to discharge a huge amount of pent up creative energy. The whole time you’ve been saying to yourself “not yet, not yet”, your creativity has been slowly growing in power and when it’s finally time to actually do what needs to be done, your creativity will be at an all time high, ready to help you push beyond your limits. You’ll embrace the mental attitude of: “Alright, this has to get done. Now. Let’s come up with something quick! You’ll release the valve of creative energy and whip up something fancy (a writing or whatever sort of project you’re attempting to complete last minute) See, when you try to force yourself to be creative, it rarely, if ever works that way. You have to let it accumulate. And the best way to do that is just relax and let it come. Creativity is not something you chase after. It’s something that simply comes to you. By putting things off, you are allowing your creative energy to build over time. Creative mode isn’t just a quick on/off switch. It’s more like a dial that slowly tunes up. By waiting until last minute, you give your brain time to crank that dial all the way up to eleven for some creative loud noise. Ya ain’t gotta be perfect Perfectionism. It’s something we try to achieve, especially when we’re working on a project over a long period of time. We want to get it...juuuust right. Perfectly balanced. Flawless. But wait ‘til last minute? Now ya ain’t got time to be perfect! Now it’s a matter of getting it done at all in the first place. You remove the (quite unnecessary need) to be perfect and instead focus on just getting it done, despite whatever sort of flaws pop up. This allows you to actually do the task, not “edit” the task. Allow me to explain. Oftentimes, we halt our own progress by letting the “editor” take charge. Instead of just writing, for example, we edit. We make sure all the i’s are dotted and t’s are crossed. We make sure to have the perfect grammar structure and the perfect paragraph phrasing. What this does is eliminate the creative “flow” of your writing or otherwise. Because we don’t just edit our writing, we edit everything we do. In other words, we try to make things look perfect before presenting them. This ideal for perfectionism is what causes “writer’s block”. Instead of moving forward, we block our own progress by trying to achieve some sort of high standard. It’s letting the editor take over before the writer even finishes writing. Write first THEN edit. Do first THEN perfect. Aiming to “get it right” makes the whole process rigidity and more complicated than it needs to be. Just get it done. Make your standard shit. Because then if it is shit, well you hit the mark and anything better, well, then it’s better. If your standard is perfect, then anything less than that is gonna be frowned upon. And let’s face it, ya ain’t perfect. Waiting until last minute allows you to spend all your time producing the content and project and not wasting time ironing out the nitty gritty details. It’s more important to have a solid foundation than beautiful intricate details. After all, what good is a cherry on top without the ice cream sundae? If you wait ‘til the last minute, you can focus on building that strong foundation instead of putting on extra toppings and trying to make everything look perfect and delicious. The best part of waiting ‘til last minute Hey, even if you totally fuck up this project, at least it got done in time and you put in a good effort. And unlike someone who poured hours and hours into the thing over the course of weeks, you only spent one night. One single night. That’s it. And all things considered, you did a fantabulous damn job! Imagine what you could do if you ever decided to go back and improve upon what you managed to create in that one all-nighter. Imagine if you spent just as much time on the project as someone who diligently allocated time to it in their schedule periodically. Why, you’d make something totally kick ass! I mean, if you really think about what you can accomplish “last minute” before the due date, it shows what you’re truly capable of accomplishing. You have the capability to achieve what you want. You just...choose to wait ‘til last minute. That’s not a bad thing. That’s a wonderful thing. You can achieve what you want is the bottom line. You just have to understand what motivates you. That last minute kick? Maybe you can mind-fuck yourself and tell yourself that no matter what it is you want to achieve, the due date is “soon”. You’ll gain the motivation and adrenaline rush you need to do it and make it happen right then and there. After all, if it was due tomorrow, you know you’d totally rev up some awesome sauce. Pretend like it’s the last minute, the last chance you’ll get to do that thing you’ve been putting off and see what you can accomplish -- whether that’s losing weight, starting a business, whatever. You may surprise yourself and realize you’ve had it in you the whole time. You just needed to procrastinate...with purpose! *Puts on red curly haired wig and belts in a tune* Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya tomorrow! Ah, tomorrow - truly the favorite date of a procrastin8r. It makes everyday a holiday! When will it happen? Tomorrow. When will you do it? Tomorrow. When will things get done? Tomorrow, of course!  Tomorrow is the precise time in which everything you’ve ever set out to do or promised would make happen will in fact get done and happen. Yup, good ole tomorrow, a day that never seems to come, and is always just a day away. That’s the beauty of it. It’s a perpetual positive outlook toward the future. As long as you believe in tomorrow, you can continue to believe things will move forward for the better. We may have chores to do, a work project to complete, or maybe even homework to finish, but ya know what? We’ll do it...tomorrow! Of course, you’ll be told by the masses not to hold off and to just do it NOW. They’ll tell you to get straight to it! Git r dun! But really, what’s the rush anyway? Why are people in such a hurry? Society is so face-paced and stress inducing, always scrambling to move forward right away and not taking the time to let things grow nice and slow. I mean certainly if it gets done, then it gets done, why’s it really matter if that’s right now or…tomorrow? People need to chill with their due dates and deadlines. After all, the only thing setting a due date does is assure that the job is done by said date; it doesn’t assure it will be a good job done. The best things in life take time. They take “waiting ‘til tomorrow”. They take a bit of patience and persistence. Anyway, there are some key benefits of taking the attitude of “tomorrow” when it comes to getting shit done and we’re gonna take a look at them in today’s blog. And without further ado, let’s dive...right into it!  Tomorrow Makes it a Possibility Anything can happen tomorrow! No but seriously, anything really can happen if you let it, if you believe it to be true. The future is unwritten and anything you set your mind to can happen... tomorrow. It’s an interesting mindset, if you think about it. By saying that you’ll “do it tomorrow”. You’re not saying you can’t do it. You’re not saying you won’t do it. You’re just saying you’ll do it at a later time and that time is not right now. You believe you have the capability, skills, and knowledge (or at the very latest will tomorrow) -- you have all the resources to achieve what you want to achieve. It’s just that you’re choosing not to get right to it. You’re choosing to procrastinate...with purpose. And by procrastinating, you’re saying that “this is entirely within my means of accomplishment. I’ll do it later.” It’s not impossible. It’s not something you won’t actually do. It’s just that -- you’re not going to do right now on this very goddamn second. Tomorrow is the ultimate possibility. It leaves the door open for things to happen in the way you see fit, when you want to. Sure, tomorrow never dies, but neither do your dreams if you keep saying “I’ll reach them tomorrow.” Realize this. Realize there’s undeniable value in “putting it off ‘ til tomorrow” because that means there’s potential in it happening in the future.  Tomorrow Means Never Giving Up People always say “get out of the habit of saying tomorrow and just make it happen today.” But I wonder how many people with this mindset skip right to doing the thing, fail miserably at it, then decide to give up and never try again. Tomorrow means there’s always another chance. There’s always another day to pick up your feet and try again. If you don’t make it today, surely you can tomorrow! If you adapt the attitude that it’s “all or nothing...now or never” then you’re gonna wind up disappointing yourself immensely. Cause chances are, ya ain’t worth shit. But that’s okay. It’s okay to suck. It’s okay to be an idiot. Being an idiot means you have room to learn, room to grow. By saying “tomorrow”, you’re able to admit that you’re not where you want to be right now, but can be in the future (of tomorrow). You don’t throw your hands in the air and say “it’ll never happen” just because you don’t have the full potential to do it right here, right now. You lean back, relax, let out a good yawn and say to yourself “Welp, guess I’ll do it tomorrow.” You do it half ass. After all, half ass is better than no ass. And you’ll finish all the ass tomorrow. It’s a lot easier to give up if you pressure yourself to do it NOW. Fact of the matter is, you ain’t ready now. Maybe you’ll be ready tomorrow, but you sure as hell ain’t ready now. Attempting to do it now will only make you feel like a failure, but having the mindset that you can do it tomorrow will allow you to accept where you’re at in the now. For example, if you want to lose weight and you try to start eating healthy and exercising right now, you’ll likely wind up dropping going to the gym and snacking on veggies sooner rather than later, because you’re not at your goal weight right now and you’ll just feel like you aren’t really getting anywhere. If, on the other hand, you say you’ll start your weight-loss plan “tomorrow”, you accept the fact that you’re a fat piece of shit right and are in the process of attaining a healthy lifestyle. You’ll be less likely to call it quits on your goal because it’s something you’re ever chasing after, as opposed to something you just expect to have today. Expecting to have things today only makes you want to give up when you realize you don’t have it. Expecting it to come tomorrow will give you the motivation you need to keep moving forward, ever steady and ever slowly.  Tomorrow Gives You Time to Slow n’ Steady Win the Race Doing it now “no holds barred”, is berserker mode. You’re rushing in with no idea what you’re going to do or how you’re going to do it, like a dog chasing cars, you just run in with no clear goal or mission. You get started for the very sake of getting started, just because you’re told you should get started ASAP! ASAP? More like after A NAP! Tomorrow gives you time to plan and prepare. It gives you time to think and strategize the best course of action first before just charging in willy nilly with no fucking clue what in the hell you’re doing. Instead of making haste to launch as quickly as possible, you become more focused on getting it right (as opposed to just getting it off the ground) and that allows you to keep persisting towards your goal until it is right. You want to soar, not crash. Just because you jump off in an attempt to fly doesn’t mean you won’t fall flat on your face. You gotta make sure you’re ready. In other words... Sometimes you don’t have the tools necessary to complete the task at hand. You may not be actually ready. Maybe you’re physically exhausted. Maybe you’re just feeling emotionally drained. Maybe your mental energy is depleted. It’s ridiculous to try and force yourself to “do it” just to do it, when you can wait “until tomorrow” and perform much better. Of course, to be fair, there is a fine line between legitimately putting it off ‘til tomorrow in order to achieve a better, more focused performance and flat out making excuses. Let’s get into that..  Tomorrow Should NOT be Used as an Excuse. You shouldn’t say tomorrow if you don’t actually mean it. Tomorrow is not necessarily the day that follows today or anytime within the next 24 hours, but it’s more of a generic one-word term for “at some point in the future.” But that’s the thing, you must hold the intention to actually do it in the future and follow through EVENTUALLY. Sometimes, you may be tempted to say “I’ll do it tomorrow” when you really have no intention of ever dealing with it, EVER. Look, putting it off is one thing, but negating responsibility entirely is another. You want to achieve a balance of sorts. Make tomorrow mean “eventually” and not “never”. Be willing to actually do the thing you set out to do at one point or another. Don’t use “tomorrow” as a crutch to avoid doing something in the first place. Use it to “ease on into it”. Again, that doesn’t mean you should go on and do it right now, whatever it is, that thing you’ve been putting off “‘til tomorrow” but it does mean that at some point, you’re going to have to do it. Tomorrow is more of a tool used to get you to look forward to the future and not an actual promise to get it done by the next day. However, never pulling through and doing it makes it quite a pointless word to be using. You might as well say “I’m never going to do it” and just be honest with yourself. Stop making the false promise of “tomorrow” for something you’re never going to follow through with. If you’re never going to lose weight then say that. Don’t say you’ll do it tomorrow. Only say you’ll do things tomorrow if you have every bit of intention to see it come through at some point in the future (whether that’s literally tomorrow or months from now). The point is, don’t hide your own lack of motivation behind the walls of “tomorrow”. Be straight and say “I’ll never do it” rather than beat around the bush. And you may think that makes you a bad person, but it’s better to be truthful about your flaws (in this case lack of motivation to ever do something worthwhile) than it is to try and mask them. I mean either way you have said flaw, either you come in clean or try to lie. And lying just makes you worse. Don’t lie to yourself by saying “It’ll get done tomorrow” when it’s never going to get done. Flat out say I ain’t ever doing that shit. Man, be bold and say what you mean. You can do it tomorrow (as in “at some point in the future). Just don’t use that word as some sort of false promise to make yourself feel better. And you know what? Maybe you did have every bit of intention of doing it (tomorrow) but winded up putting it off again. To that I say, you’re really not being honest with yourself. And you’re really relying on Impulsive Idleness instead of Purposeful Procrastination. You’re letting your laziness control you. Be in control of your own superpower. Either say “tomorrow” and mean it or stfu and don’t say you’ll ever do it.  Tomorrow Gives You Freedom People live their life from one obligation to another, following strict schedules - when to eat, when to piss, when to grind work at a desk. It’s mind-numbingly insane. Schedule’s are prisons.There’s no sense in forcing yourself into small time constraints just to appease these arbitrary time gods. Yeah, sure, our time on this Earth is limited. Life is short. But would you really want to watch it rush on by or enjoy every single moment? Counting the months, weeks, days, hours, and minutes makes this whole thing a race. Look, life ain’t a NASCAR track, it’s a smooth Sunday drive in the sunset. But people treat life like it’s meant to be floored to the max and blurred past everything we pass by, until we no longer exist, instead of a fun sight-seeing journey. Time is nothing but a human construct. Birds, dogs, cats, other animals they have no concept of this “time structure” we human beings created. Math, numbers. That’s all it is. Saying “tomorrow” removes the obligations. It removes you from the arbitrary mathematical structure of time and let’s you live in the moment. It lets you be present. It puts you in a state of consciousness of just “being”, as opposed to one in which you simply exist as the clock ticks down. You ever see a dog? Man, dogs are happy. They just live in the moment. A spoonful of peanut butter makes their goddamn day. They have a significantly shorter lifespan than we as humans do, too but ya know what? They don’t give a fuck. They’re just happy to be here. They ain’t thinking about the “limited time” we have on Earth. And perhaps that’s why people are so obsessed with due dates and time frames -- the underlying fear of death. People want things done NOW because they are subconsciously worried about how the amount of days they have alive is limited. But how much can you really be “alive” if you’re only performing a certain output by a very particular schedule? Sounds more machine-like to me. Free your mind from numbers of time and think in terms of “tomorrow”. You’ll feel less like a robot following arbitrary commands of some sort of programmed alarm clock and more like...an actual human being. You’re in no way obligated to ever meet a due date. Remember that. Whatever consequences you face, just roll with it. Be here to live, not exist. And speaking of due dates...  Due Dates Suck
When you think in terms of getting it done on “x” date by “y” time, the focus becomes more on getting it done within a certain time frame instead of getting it done well (or even fully complete for that matter). One main example I’ll use here in regards to due dates sucking (and not to mention being terribly ineffective) is the video game industry There are so many video games nowadays that are rushed to the shelves all just to meet a specific “launch date” But what happens? They’re released full of bugs. Not little funny graphical glitches, but GAME BREAKING bugs that corrupt save files or crash the game entirely. It’d be like selling a car where the engine didn’t start or died after a few hours of driving. Fact of the matter is, these games are released just...completely unfinished. Cyberpunk 2077 was probably the most hyped game recently that winded up releasing with a plethora of game breaking bugs to the point where they had to pull it off console markets because of the amount of refund requests (though there are countless other games such as Arkham Knight, Red Dead Redemption, Assassin’s Creed that followed the same suit in putting out unfinished titles, to name just a few). Had they just waited “til tomorrow” when things were actually fully functioning, or at the very least, at a presentable state, there wouldn’t have been the huge backlash or uproar of unhappy customers. They didn’t wait til “tomorrow though”. They said “TODAY!” T-t-t-today junior! And put out a terrible excuse for a product. They did the equivalent of serving a pizza with raw dough. You see, due dates only accomplish one thing and one thing only and that is, ensuring something is “on the shelves” by a specific time. But that leaves out something important-- completion! It’s best to complete what you set out to do “tomorrow” than it is to “release” something utterly unfinished by today. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather have delay after delay (tomorrow after tomorrow) and get a good solid (and not mention COMPLETE) product than receive anything “game-breaking” released when ti was scheduled. And that principle expands beyond just that of the game industry. I’m talking how it’s unsatisfying and disappointing to others, to yourself, when you become so obsessed with doing something under a specific time frame that you fail to actually do it competently. Sure, ya hit the due date, but you didn’t hit the mark in creating anything worthwhile. Competency trumps punctuality, in my opinion. I don’t really see the point of meeting a deadline if you can’t adequately meet the minimum criteria of your goal (eg. making a working video game). It’s better to put off your goal til later, tomorrow, and fulfill it completely, than to meet a deadline but barely scratch the surface of your goal. You can reach your goals, become who you want to be, see your dreams come to life...all of that....tomorrow! There’s a dirty little word, you should avoid saying as much as possible. One that you may often let slip, without even thinking about it. It’s a word that when used too much, corrupts our self esteem, comes across as annoying, and even makes people lose respect for us. No, I ain’t talking about any sailor talk or cuss word that they’ll kick you out of Catholic school for. I’m talking about the word “sorry”.  Sorry, sorry. Doesn’t seem like such a bad word….or does it? I mean, certainly, apologizing for the wrongs we did or caused doesn’t seem like such a terrible act. After all, we should take responsibility for our little fuck ups in life. We should come forward and admit when we were wrong. Thing is though, it’s possible to go completely overboard with an apology or confession, making it more of a redundancy than any actual sort of amends. Furthermore, it’s possible to offer an apology in a situation that frankly doesn’t really call for one in the first place, making it rather...pointless. It’s okay to admit your mistakes or wrongdoings. It’s not okay to make your life a constant apology for those mistakes or wrongdoings, or apologize when you personally did nothing wrong for that matter. Research has shown that saying “I’m sorry” can actually make people think less of you. It’s not a good habit at all. Besides, the procrastin8r never over does anything and this includes overapologizing. It’s too much work, man, and just not worth the effort. Today, we’re going to look at how the only thing you should be sorry about is saying sorry too much. And without further ado, let’s dive...right into it!  When you say you’re “Sorry”, oftentimes, you’re full of Shit The waitress brings you the wrong meal and you’re quick to say “I’m sorry. This isn’t what I ordered.” Your neighbor’s dog bit you and you say “I’m sorry I scared your dog.” Your friend forgets to pick you up for a ride and you tell him “I’m sorry I forgot to text you to remind you.” Look dude, it wasn’t your fault the waitress brought you the wrong order or that your neighbor’s dog got a little wild and Christ, your friend should be the one sorry for forgetting to pick you up, man, not the other way around. Face it, you’re not really sorry about most things that you apologize for and you know it. I mean, it doesn’t make fuck all sense to put yourself in a position to start taking responsibility for someone else’s mistakes or bad behaviors. I mean c’mon, you’re only saying sorry to save face. You’re trying to not look bad in front of others. You expect them to think “Oh well he said he’s sorry, so he must be a good chap!”? As if! All saying sorry does is make it look like you’re insecure (because you are) and can’t handle any sort of dispute with confidence (because you can’t). By apologizing, more often than not, you’re trying to make yourself feel better, not the other person. You’ll think “well maybe if I apologize, they’ll think I’m a good person.” It’s all about you. And here’s the thing: You’re not a good person for saying sorry and they won’t think so either. A good person comes in clean with what they are unhappy or irritated about. They don’t beat around the bush with any sort of long winded apology. Oh sorry, so sorry, sorry I’m sorry. They just get straight to it. Perhaps you want to just be seen as a polite and good person, or maybe you just want to avoid any sort of confrontation. Either way, you’re not actually sorry for anything other than your own lack of self esteem. By saying “sorry”, you are communicating submissiveness. You are eliminating the power behind your words. You are subconsciously telling the other person “You are above me” by uttering the words “sorry”. Saying sorry is passive aggressive in a sort of way. Instead of confronting the situation head on, you’re kind of tiptoeing around it and acting like the problem isn’t there. Meanwhile, you’ll be bottling up all these negative emotions about how you really feel and face heavy repressed anger, all because you couldn’t be honest. What the fuck kind of insecure thinking process is that? Seriously. Get a grip on yourself. Be able to come forward about your grievances, rather than place the burden of guilt on yourself for no goddamn reason. I mean you’re only gonna wind up blurting out in a passive aggressive condescending comment later down the line, if you try to hide how you really feel behind an apology. And that’s all you’re doing, hiding behind an apology. You ain’t being real dude. You gotta keep it real, man. At all times. Be real. Be genuine. And keep it that way no matter what happens. Don’t offer this fake apology to try and compensate for your own true inner feelings. Call out your friend for not picking you up. Tell the waitress straight up that you didn’t order the veggie burger. Call out your neighbor for not having better control over his dog as the owner. Just say what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t apologize for it. Don’t say the “S” word and just say SHIT!  Sorry is used as a trump card to avoid rejection or conflict Rejection is inevitable. Not everybody is gonna like you or what you have to offer. Conflict is inevitable also. Not everybody is gonna agree with you. By saying sorry, you are attempting to avoid one of those two things.You’re playing a sort of “Get Out of Jail” card because the fact of the matter is, you want to “get out” of upsetting someone or having them abandon you. In general, saying sorry makes you look weak. It communicates that you can’t cope with someone being mad at you or thinking ill of you. The strong thing to do is come forward with what you think, honestly. Man, it ain’t a big deal to disagree with someone or even have them a bit upset at you. In relationships, you have to be willing to be an asshole, at least kind of an asshole. It’s like you want to have this unattainable image of perfectionism. Ain’t nobody perfect, dude! But you say sorry to cover your ass and make you appear as not an asshole. It doesn’t work though. Thing is, you're actually being more of an asshole by trying to avoid conflict (and apologizing) then you ever are by bringing up said conflict in the first place. You want to hang out with your friend but already made other plans, so you tell him or her “Sorry but I can’t make it.” You can’t make it. What the fuck you sorry for? Sure, they might not be happy about the fact that you can’t hang out, but c’mon dude. It ain’t that deep. Nothing worthy of an apology there. Just say you can’t make it and move on. You don’t even have to explain anything. You don’t have to justify what you do or say in any way. As a matter of fact, when you try to justify what you did, to another person, you are placing the power within their hands. You are basically sub communicating that you’re seeking their permission and approval, for them to give you the “a-okay”. You’re telling them that you place higher value on making them feel good and appeasing to them, than you do over your own sense of pride and self dignity. Dignity is respected far more than politeness. Remember that. But that’s a whole other topic for another day. Just keep in mind that when you apologize, you are people pleasing. You are placing higher value on another person, and in a sense, worshipping them as some sort of god or goddess, trying to earn their favor. Get rejected. Upset people a little. Cause some controversy. Express yourself. Don’t apologize for being you.  Being Sorry for Everything Lowers Your Self Esteem If you constantly think you have to apologize for something that means you think you’re constantly doing something wrong, and that really starts to take a toll on your feelings of self worth and confidence. You’re not wrong, Walter. You’re just an asshole. Truthfully, by overpologizing, you are doing yourself more harm than good. You’re making yourself appear inadequate and invaluable, as if anything you say or do must be defended. Play life offensively. Now I don’t mean you necessarily need to be a walking insult book and offend anyone and everyone you come across, no, but I mean take matters into your own hands, take the ball in your own own court, if we’re sticking to the metaphor. On the contrary, always playing the defense means you’re uptight. You’re consistently sitting on the edge of your seat, trying your best to maintain balance. You’re reacting to things rather than taking (slow n steady) action. Let loose, relax. Lean back. And do everything unapologetically. Be unapologetically you.  Procrastinate (and Apologize) with Purpose Do what you do. Say what you say. And don’t look back. Don’t choose to say or do something and then be sorry for it, or say you’re sorry for it. Recently, a family friend was sitting and eating with us. This guy was smacking his lips really loudly, like, REALLY loudly, like a cow eating grass. It was disgusting. I told him to stop chewing like that. He said it was a bad habit and I was like, well drop that bad habit. He said he couldn’t. To which I replied ‘it’s easy. Just close your mouth while chewing instead of opening. C’mon now. I can’t believe I’m teaching a grown ass man how to eat his food.” And you know what? He stopped. Was it a bit “assholish” of me to call him out on a bullshit? Maybe. But had I not said anything, he wouldn’t have stopped. And worse had I apologized and said something along the lines of “Sorry, but could you stop chewing so loudly?” he’d still be smacking those lips like he was a musician playing his instrument on stage. Had I set the tone of “sorry to address this but…” he wouldn’t have listened, yet alone put a stop to his loud chewing. And you may think that would be awkward. Yeah, it was. But awkwardness isn’t necessarily a bad thing. You must learn to use social pressure to your advantage. Create pressure, awkward moments, and don’t back down under an apology. Just stay firm, maintain eye contact and maybe even give a little nod. Let people know what you’re not okay with and again, don’t apologize for it.  Overapologizing Decreases Your Impact of Future Apologies Now I want to address something and make it very clear. Ya know, obviously throughout this article, I’ve made a cold case against apologizing or using the word “sorry” But, let me tell you this, there are certain things you MUST apologize for. Cheating, breaking a promise, or some other form of betrayal definitely calls for an apology, to name a few examples. But whatever it is, it must be something deep, something heavy. It’s not your average little “oopsie”, it’s a big ass mistake or wrongdoing. You must actually hurt the person (not just make them slightly unhappy). To avoid apologizing for something like that would be immature. You must take responsibility for your fuck ups. Own it and apologize. That said, you don’t want to go on and on about it. Your goal is not to make amends but to let it go and move on, to say “What happened, happened and I’m sorry.” Your apology should just be a statement of accountability, not a beg or plea to “work things out” or otherwise have them offer you some form of forgiveness. And once you say sorry, that’s it. Don’t keep apologizing. Don’t keep sending texts or leaving voic mails or writing e-mails or snail mail letters. They already know you’re sorry and it’s not like the more you tell them that, the more likely they are to forgive you. Forgive yourself and don’t seek that forgiveness form someone else. And look, the reason why you should only ever apologize on BIG things (and not minor, small inconveniences) is because doing so will make your apology have IMPACT. It will communicate that you mean it, that you’re genuinely sorry. See, ‘cause if you use that word all the time, then “sorry” really doesn’t hold much weight, even if you do actually mean it. Overaplogizing makes the word “sorry” overused and washed out. People will get sick of hearing it. They won’t believe you, even if you truly are sorry. After all, you say it all the time. “Oh he’s just saying that just to say that. That guy is always sorry, about everything. Of course he’s sorry about this!” On the other hand, if you rarely, if ever utter the phrase “I’m sorry”, people will double take when you do. “Wait did he just say he’s sorry? That guy never apologizes FOR ANYTHING. He must…really mean it!” You don’t want to build the reputation that you’re quick to apologize. You want to make it clear that you’re only sorry when you really mean it. And even then, you can use something like “I was wrong” or even “I fucked up”. “Sorry” is powerless word. You hand over the power to the other person. You are at their mercy. You have to really, really fuck up big time in order to shell out the sorry word, seriously. In most cases, you can get away with just a simple “It was wrong of me.” Sorry is like the nuclear bomb of apologies (or you very well should treat it as such). It is your absolute LAST RESORT you wanna use in confessing your mistake or wrongdoing. As a rule of thumb, you get one “sorry” per person, per life. That’s it. Use it well. Now, to be fair, you could probably say you’re sorry more than just once to a person, but keep in mind, the more you say it, the less impact it will have in the future. Treat your “sorrys” like it’s a very limited supply, not something you hand out willy nilly. I’m not saying “Don’t say you’re sorry even if you fucked up big more than once.” No. The idea here is to use it as sparingly as possible, so that when you do use it, it still has a strong effect. Now that we covered why apologizing is a bad habit, let’s take a look at one simple way to actually break that habit.  Be thankful instead of sorry. This is the easiest way to get rid of your over apologetic nature. Flip the script. It’s a simple little mindset shift. Instead of being sorry about the negative, be thankful for the positive. I’ll give you a few examples so you can catch the idea of what I’m talking about. Instead of being sorry for being late, say “Thank you for waiting for me.” (You’ll probably use this one a lot as a procrastin8r) Instead of saying “sorry” when someone criticizes you or points out a mistake, just tell them “Thanks for pointing that out. I’m glad you brought that to my attention.” If you feel like you’re rambling on and on, don’t aplogize for talking too much, just say “Thanks for listening to me babble” or something to that effect. You get the gist. By being thankful, you’ll actually boost your self esteem. Finding things to appreciate instead of things to be sorry for makes you feel like you’re worthy and put bluntly, kicking ass. Be thankful I told you that, little ass kicker.  Call People Out On Their Overapologies.
You may know now that “sorry” is overused and as you tear that page out of your dictionary, you’ll start to notice just how much people will apologize to YOU for little mundane things that require no apology whatsoever. The best thing to do in this situation is say “I forgive you.” Those words will turn heads. They’ll tell you something like “Sorry I forgot to wish you happy birthday” or something else equally as dumb and no big deal. Just tell ‘em you forgive them for whatever little shit they did. They may look at you kind of funny like “What? No, you don’t have to forgive me. It ain’t that deep.” Exactly, it ain’t that deep. Don’t say you’re sorry in the first place. Again that may build some social tension/pressure, but that’s a good thing. Compelling relationships aren’t always polite. They ain’t always joyful. Don’t apologize for your imperfections and don’t let others in your life do so either. You’ll be able to create stronger, more dynamic connections with others than you ever had “sorrying” your way through life. Be imperfectly you. And make no apologies for it. You’ll attract people who do the same, and that’s what you want. Genuine people with genuine connections, not fake people with fake apologies. Take it easy, N8 |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives
March 2022
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