Hey man, life sucks sometimes. Things don’t always go our way. Throughout our time here, we’re faced with a slew of unpredictable negative circumstances. Maybe you lose your wallet. Maybe you get ghosted by a person you were dating. Maybe the weather is rainy on a day you decide to have a picnic. Maybe someone leaves a huge dent in your car in the parking lot in a hit n’ run. Shit happens.It sucks.
You could also make a mistake. You overspend your bank account and wind up paying out the wazoo in overdraft fees and can’t cover rent. You say something hurtful to someone you care about, something you didn’t truly mean but let it slip. Again, shit happens. Just flush it down,
There are a lot of imperfections in life, whether you’re the cause of them or someone/something else is. That much is unavoidable.
But what you can avoid, is completely blowing the issue out of proportion and making it a bigger deal than it really is. (Hint: it’s NOT a big deal at all)
We all tend to worry, to ruminate over and over again about just how bad we have it because of one thing that happened or another. We scrape our knee a bite and cry that it’s broken. We drop our phone and yell it’s busted (when there’s barely a scratch). Shit ain’t broken or busted, man. You just think that way.
Really, we’re just exaggerating the issue. We’re “making a mountain out of a mole hill” as they say. We’re screaming we’re infected with blindness when a bit of dust hits our eye. We’re calling an iguana “GODZILLA!”
Look, things are only as big of a deal as you make them.
If something is completely detrimental to your livelihood, it’s only because you choose to believe it so.
It’s not in the lazy man’s desire or interest to make a big deal about…anything really. After all, making it a big deal means making it a lot of effort to deal with.
To be lazy, you must minimize effort and maximize results. So relax, and remember it’s no big deal.
Today, we’re gonna look at how making shit a big deal really makes life a lot harder than it needs to be. We’re trying to take it easy in life, and part of that is making issues small and solvable, as opposed to big and impossible. And without further ado, let’s dive…right into it!
It’s All in Your Head.
The “size of the deal” is completely under your own perspective, the way you view things. You determine how big things really are in your own mind. It’s not the issue itself, but the way you think about it that determines just how much impact a specific event or scenario has on your emotional well-being.
If you’ve just gone through a break up, for example, you can make a big deal out of it and say you lost the love of your life and will now live forever alone, or you can see it as an opportunity to learn and grow and perhaps meet someone else even better later down the line.
Fact of the matter is, a break up (or whatever sort of “bad thing” you’re going through right now) is just that -- a thing. It’s a thing that happened. Your interpretation of the event can either make that thing detrimental or “meh”.
You choose how much of a fuck you are willing to give towards an issue. I mean, you may not choose exactly what happens, but you do choose how much you even care about it.
Approach things with “Well that happened. I couldn’t care less.” You couldn’t give any less amount of fucks because you just don’t give any. It ain’t a big deal.
Thinking to yourself “this is the worst possible thing that could happen to me” will in fact make it so. You may not be able to decide what happens to you but you do make the decision on how much (or how little) you let it affect you.
You must remain unfazed by any sort of dilemma and setback. Think to yourself “ain’t no big deal” no matter what you come across, no matter what you face. Period. Failure to do so will only make the issue that much harder to deal with.
You gotta take the easy way out and lean back and let it happen, as opposed to getting ridiculously upset about it and letting it put a damper in your mood.
Now that ain’t to say you don’t do anything about the issue. That isn’t to say you don’t attempt to solve or fix it, but I’ll tell you one thing for sure either way….
Making a Big Deal About Shit Doesn’t Solve Anything
Face it, no matter how much you bitch, whine, and complain about something, there ain’t nothing that’s doing to actually fix said issue you’re complaining about it. Don’t complain. Seriously.
All it does is make you feel worse. All it does is damage your own self esteem.
Making it out to be like it’s the end of the world, really doesn’t create a viable solution to the issue in the first place. Nor does it give you any sort of incentive to find one. It just puts you in a perpetual state of being unhappy with how things turned out and refusing to try and make things different.
Heck, even if it was the end of the world, it’s not like you’re doing anything productive by pointing that out in a whiny voice.
Look, I can’t tell you what a solution is to your problem you’re undergoing right now, but what I can tell you is that sittin’ around moaning about it ain’t it. It’s not going to get you out of your little conundrum.
And you may say, but wait! It’s not lazy to actually do something about the issue! But I tell you, it’s a lot more effort to keep on bitching endlessly than it is to go damn solve the thing you’d be bitching about anyway.
The mental and emotional energy it takes to beat yourself up over one thing or another is waaaay too much work for a procrastin8r.
Just remember, the bigger deal you make something out to be, the bigger issue you’re making it for yourself to handle.
The best way to handle an issue is to well, go right on ahead and handle it, rather than sit there and think about how bad it is. Take slow n’ steady steps towards finding a better solution.
Ask yourself: So What?
Your computer won’t turn on and you have a zoom meeting coming up. So what?
Rent is due and you can’t afford to pay it. So what?
You lost your job because of a bunch of layoffs in the company. So what?
No matter what shit you’re going through right now, seriously, SO WHAT?
Often times, your imagination starts running wild and you literally start picturing worst case scenario, but I assure you: worst case scenario probably won’t happen... and even if it does, so what?
So what? So what!? How could I say something like that to an issue so serious!?
And that’s the thing cap, you’re taking it too seriously. Look, no one gets out of life alive anyway. Stop taking it so seriously.
Stop turning things into a big issue every time something, even minuscule, goes wrong. Stop getting overly upset over little shit. It’s all little shit.
All you’re doing is living in fear, fear of consequences. And if there are consequences, so what?
It’s not like you couldn’t handle them. Oh what’s that? You say you CAN’T handle the consequences?
Well certainly not if you’re gonna mope around and complain about ‘em. And even if you really, legitimately couldn’t no matter what you did or what you tried...so...fucking...WHAT!?
It’s really not that big of a deal. You’re working yourself up over nothing. And work is not the lazy way.
The next time you’ve got something bothering you, instead of stressing out about it, instead of crying or yelling or screaming, just ask yourself: so what?
And at that point, your brain might try to trick you. It might try to give you reasons to justify being explosively upset and stressed beyond belief.
But don’t listen to that shit, man. Be in control of your emotions. Don’t let your emotions control you.
And remember although you may be feeling stressed inside, that doesn’t mean you need to stress OUT and outwardly express that stress in a negative way (like crying or screaming).
Stop thinking about the implications of an issue and instead focus on the solution, focus on coping with it maturely. Otherwise, you’ll drown yourself in fear of moving forward at all, yet alone slow n’ steady.
So what if you’re feeling bad? While those feelings are legitimate. They don’t need to define you. A fuck up doesn’t make you a fuck up. It just means you fucked up.
You fucked up. So what? Shit’s fucked. So what?
Now to clarify by saying "So What?" you're not dismissing it, not entirely. You're just not making it out to be a ridiculously detrimental big deal.
Don’t fucking make it any worse by making it a big deal.
Take it Easy.
Easy come. Easy go.
Think of your problems as easy and they will easily go away (or be solved for that matter).
If you make things out to be hard, or otherwise a “big deal”, you ain’t livin the easy breezy lemon squeezy lazy life you want to be living.
You have to adjust your attitude a bit. Think of it like playing on Easy mode. Any sort of challenge or enemy you come across is so easily beatable that it really ain’t worth making a fuss over at all.
You’ll get past it no problem, without even thinking twice.
Imagine playing a video game you beat on the hardest difficulty and then going back to play on the easiest one. You’d be kicking absolute ass. You wouldn’t sweat anything.
Like not only are you familiar with the level layouts and enemy patterns, now they’re significantly less of a threat in easy mode compared to the hardest difficulty, so you’ll pass them with hardly any effort at all.
That must be your approach in life. “This is easy mode and I already beat it on the hardest difficulty.” It’s a sort of “Been there, done that” vibe that you must encompass at all times.
If you are able to think of your issues as small, you’ll notice you’ll be able to lean back and tackle them nice n’ easy.
Don’t sweat the small shit. It’s all small shit.
It’s not the lazy way to work yourself out tirelessly and get all sweaty. Be lazy. Do the lazy thing and stop making a big deal out of shit.