L.A.Z.Y. Mindset: Aloofness

The L.A.Z.Y. Mindset.  It’s the mental framework of a professional sloth. That’s right: a PRO-crastinator! It helps you achieve success in your business, relationships, and personal life using as little effort as possible 

Of course, there are many books and blogs written that cover such information. No doubt, I’m not the first person to write about such a topic. You could go ahead and Google “how to be successful the easy way” or similar terms.

But what you’ll find is an overload of information. It can be confusing and overwhelming. You’ll find it doesn’t quite make it seem so simple after all -- just the pure amount of details you’ll be pouring over and trying to organize in your head can be quite staggering.




None of the information out there really condenses “how to be successful” for the lazy man in such a way that makes it...actually simple. It’s as if you need to work hard to figure out how to NOT work hard. Ridiculous.

We, as procrastinators, don’t want to work hard, for anything, yet alone figuring out how to do shit. All we want is simple, easy to follow information. The less effort required, the better.

So that is my goal -- to provide you with easy, no bullshit or fluff info that will help you sleep your way to success.

In saying that, we use an acronym because, well, acronyms make it easy to memorize large amounts of information. Rather than working hard to try and study specifics, we simply look at things from a broad perspective and see everything deep inside. In other words, you’ll be able to remember the details of an entire module just by thinking of the letter that it coordinates with.

You put loads of information into separate “containers”, separate modules, that is, the letters of the acronyms, and can easily access that information for later.  







You’re not thinking of all these “if/then” scenarios or calculating accurate steps to take.You simply remember to be LAZY and know the ways to think, act, and speak in any given situation. See it’s not about thinking or working hard, it’s about thinking and working smart. Lazy is smart. It’s the act of minimizing effort and maximizing results. Lazy people find easy way to do things.

LAZY is a way of life. It’s a system, a mindset. The word itself, “LAZY” denotes the overall theme or underlying principle of each step in the module. While each letter module of course has its own set of principles, the foundation of being “LAZY” helps you understand those particulars. In trying to attain Leisure, for example, you are also trying to be Lazy. In trying to be Aloof, you, likewise, are trying to be Lazy and so on and so forth.

LAZY is the dough of the pizza and each specific letter is the different toppings. We basically have a recipe for Cowbunga success.
If you want to understand the basics of this mindset, grab your FREE copy of the e-book. That right there is enough information and all you need.

This article is designed to give you further insight and help you really grasp what it means to be LAZY.

A few weeks back, we took a deep dive into the first module, Leisure, detailing why it’s important to rejuvenate yourself and how to actually go about doing it.







Now, continuing our deep-dive into the LAZY Mindset, we’re gonna take a look at the second module: Aloofness.

You may hear that word and think it’s something bad. You know, there’s this idea that being aloof means you have to be an asshole. Look, you don’t have to be an asshole, at least not a complete asshole. You just have to...not care.

And  I don’t mean don’t care at all. That would be a complete asshole. I just mean don’t care about bullshit. Care about things that actually matter and remain unfazed by drama or crisis. 

I mean, the asshole has attractive qualities. It’s why the girls date him and he always seems to get his way. What is it about him that draws people in?

Well, for one, He doesn’t give a fuck. He’s aloof. Nothing gets on his nerves or brings him down. Heck, people even call him an asshole and he just doesn’t seem to give a little bit of a fuck about it.

While the asshole is not exactly a role model, he does have some redeeming qualities about him. He does what he wants and doesn’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks or says. That’s admirable, honestly.

But you can’t be so selfish (of an asshole) that you don’t even consider how your words and actions affect other people. On the contrary, people are often too concerned about how what they do affects others, the typical “people pleaser”

The key is to be somewhat of an asshole. Never go full asshole. Or full people pleaser for that matter. That’s like going full retard. Balance is what you want.










Being Aloof means not giving a fuck

Giving a fuck means you put time, money, and energy in it -- those are the ways you can “give a fuck”. In life, there are a limited amount of fucks you can give. 

It’s not that you don’t give a fuck about anything. You have to give a fuck about something. It’s that you give a fuck about a limited amount of things and those in which are actually important to YOU, not other people.

It’s a Honey Badger Don't Care attitude, where you're focused on getting what you want and “don’t care” about approval or recognition. 

You are Aloof to expectations and obligations and are instead key lined focused on desire.










To be Aloof is to be calm and stoic

You do not get overly eager or excited, nor do you get overly upset. Emotions remain in control. You may not control what happens or how you feel, but you do control your reaction to it. 

You are steady in your reactions to things, no matter how hectic, never jolting into an emotional outburst because you feel that way. You take the logical approach towards issues and rationally decide the best path to take. You recognize your emotions and what they’re telling you, but don’t allow them to overcome you. You stay aloof to their influence. You procrastinate a decision in order to think of the best way to handle things, rather than letting fiery emotions explode and cause more chaos than the initial dilemma even entailed.

You have a laid-back attitude towards whatever life throws at you, no matter how much it sucks, and just go with the flow, taking waves as they come, completely aloof to the rapids as you stay balanced and centered.









Aloofness is solitude
You are comfortable being in your own presence and don’t need other people to feel fulfilled and worthy. You feel fulfilled and worthy on your own (and that coincidentally attracts high quality people in your life)

You’re not approval-seeking or any sort of attention whore. You couldn’t care less what other people expect of you.You do your own thing, whether you’re joined by another company or not.

You are your own best friend, offering yourself reassurance in times of struggle and encouragement in times of triumph. You take time to mellow out alone and reflect on who you are and why you do the things you do. You are comfortable in your own skin, comfortable in your own bed.

You can’t love anyone else until you truly love yourself, and you love yourself. You’re damn awesome. You have to believe that.

Accept your flaws. Flaunt your strengths.  Be aloof to any sort of social expectations and just be you.












Aloofness is a carefree attitude

Carefree doesn’t mean you don’t care at all. It means you care about important shit, not trivial stresses that come about in everyday life. You don’t worry. Period.

You don’t worry about what you did wrong, what could go wrong soon. You may think about it. You may consider it. Briefly. But you don’t ruminate over it, nonstop. You don’t let it consume your thoughts. You don’t ...worry about a thing.

The past is the past and the future is unwritten. You live fully and completely in the present, carefree and aloof to any other part of the timeline.

You follow the Rip Van Winkle rule. If what you’re worried about won’t matter when you wake up from a nap in 20 years, then don’t spend more than 20 minutes thinking about it.

He who cares least is the one in control. And you must care least.

You aren’t attached to a specific outcome of anything. Whatever happens, happens. You go with the damn flow and let bygones be bygones.  

If you fuck up, you don’t feel like a fuck up. You take what you learned with a grain of salt and level up, become better. You see mistakes as something you did, not as a definition of your person. Mistakes are Meh, and that’s the attitude you take.

You feel no pressure to think, act, and behave in a certain way.  You are aloof and carefree towards any sort of rules. Rules are just “suggestions” in your book and you use them to your own discretion.












Aloofness is non-commital

You’re not inclined to be deadset on one company or person. You value your own principles over loyalty

I mean, heck you’re here on this blog because you likely want to leave your day job. Doesn’t show much loyalty there. You’re not committed to a job. You’re not committed to your boss. Given the opportunity, you’d quit, if you haven’t already.

And why? Because you want to do your own thing. You want to abide by your own way of life, and that is aloofness.

Have commitment towards principles, ideas, not people.

Be true to yourself and people will want to commit to you, not the other way around. The stronger you abide by your own way, that is, the more aloof you are to anything else but your own beliefs and ideas, then the stronger people will feel compelled to follow your lead.

That’s not to say you are “disloyal” to the point where you cheat on someone or backstab them by doing something ugly. You make your principles clear from the very beginning of the relationship (whether its platonic, romantic, or professional) and don’t let people fuck with you by breaking them.

The goal is not to find someone willing to commit to you. The goal is to find someone willing to commit to your principles. And if they don't, it's no big deal. You’ve got your principles intact and didn’t kiss up and change just to please them.

Have commitment towards a purpose instead of a relationship. It doesn’t have to be a huge passion or anything, just something you like. But have something that has you wake up every day (typically around noon). Have a reason to enjoy your limited time here on this earth. Don’t make someone else your center. Be your own center.

If another person is your reason or something materialistic is, you need to dig deeper and find what it is you actually want. You need a better purpose. A purpose is not an object or person. Those are just...distractions.

Be aloof to distractions.










If you are Aloof, you do your own thing, regardless of judgement
 People are gonna judge you. Hard.

Ain’t everybody gonna like you or agree with you. Haters gonna hate. Whatever man. Just kick on back and let ‘em say waht they’re going to say. Shit’s like leaves off a sloth’s back.

 Don’t just “act” aloof to it. BE aloof.

Stop giving a fuck about other people’s opinions. They don’t matter. Not a single thing a person says is gonna change your life, unless you let it. Don’t let bullshit get to you, dude.

If people hate on you, it means you’re doing something right. If everybody agrees with you or likes you, either they want something out of you (money, a favor, etc.) or there’s some oversight you’re missing and you’re wrong.

Likewise, if everybody disagrees with you, then they all probably have a point and you ought put your damn Ego to the side for a second to figure what the fuck it is.

Some people are gonna love you. Some people are gonna hate you. You want to achieve that sort of balance between overs and haters. If not everybody is happy with what you’re doing, but some people are, that means there’s something you’re doing right.

The minute you try to please everybody is the minute you please nobody. Don’t be a people-pleaser and remain aloof to how your decisions make you look in the eyes of others. Earlier we talked about how being a little bit of an asshole can be a good thing. Well, be that asshole and let people think that of you.

 Remember, every time you say NO to one thing, you are saying YES to another. Choose what you say YES to carefully and don’t feel obligated to say yes just to please someone else, just to tell them what they want to hear and avoid being called an asshole. Be frank about your NO and say it. Mean it.

Truth is, you’re not being the asshole. They are! For expecting you to hold a certain opinion or do something the way they want. But you don’t have to argue that or make that point; don’t actually do that. Instead, let it slide and tell them to hop off.










While Aloof, you do things on your terms

You do whatever you want, whenever you want to do it, and however you decide you’re doing it. You don’t volunteer or participate in activities you hold absolutely no interest in doing, nor do you do it at a time that’s inconvenient for you.

Morning meeting? Nah bro. Not for me. I’m good. Let’s shoot for the late afternoon, early evening instead.

You let people adapt their schedule to yours and don’t arrange your life to meet other people’s schedules. You’re in charge of your own time and don’t allow other people to attempt to take charge of it.

Anything people want from you is merely a suggestion and not some sort of bound obligation. You never feel obligated to do anything. Anything you do do comes from a place of desire.

You are Aloof to the idea that you “should” do something. You don’t should yourself. Gross. You instead “want” something and do it.







You remain mysterious while Aloof

You can’t be such an open book that you’re sharing everything about yourself -- all your inner thoughts and feelings Calm yourself man. That’s some needy ass behavior right there.

You can’t be so open about your feelings that people see right through you.

On the flip side, u don’t want to remain so closed off that people feel like they CAN’T get to know you, but give “just enough” information about yourself that people stay interested. 

Ya know like watching a good streaming series and at the end of the episode it leaves a little cliffhanger and you’re left with the words “To be continued…” and you’re like “WHAT!? No, I gotta know what happens next!”

You want to achieve the same type of reaction here. Build up suspense.










Being Aloof means you are uninterested by drama

People gossip. People escalate things emotionally. You’re above that. Your life is a drama free zone.

You don’t participate in shouting matches. You stay calm. You don’t act passive aggressive, because you’re honest and upfront with your principles. You set clear boundaries.

You take the time and let people say their piece but don’t stoop down to their level of getting overwhelmed by their excessively emotional reaction.

You’ll make people think “gee, maybe I am bein a bit over-the top, aren’t I?” because you remain so calm and level headed, aloof, to any sort of drama they try to stir. They’re left with no choice but to take a step back and look at just how immature they’re acting.

You don’t rely on name-calling or bringing up things just to hurt another person. That’s all for non-lazy people who get “worked up” easily. You don’t work at all. You’re lazy.

Instead, you address an issue calmly, clearly, and firmly.











You don’t want to be Cold. Just Aloof

Now when it comes to being aloof, there’s a fine line between being Aloof and being distant/cold. 

Being cold means you’re rather ruthless.

You can’t be so uncaring that you become sort of heartless in your approach. You have to allow room for some flexibility.

The idea is to not let other people walk over you,but in the same vein, not to walk all over other people. You want people to respect you, not necessarily fear you.

Be charming. Aloof enough to let people know they shouldn’t fuck with you or try to take advantage of you, but caring enough to show you’re not a complete asshole.






Just abide and do your own thing REGARDLESS.

Regardless of what?

Just regardless. Period.

Regardless of consequences. Regardless of disapproval. Regardless of hate. Regardless of fill in the blank.

Stay Aloof and do whatever. Regardless.


- N8
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